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/britfeel/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 502
Thread images: 85
any plans for today my good lads edition
>>
>>26506120
might go visit azulad and have a romantic meal.
>>
Working based lad.
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/oxford/lads, when are we meeting up for a beer?

I'm fucking serious.
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My plan is to post waifu good lad.
>>
anime is for poofs and pedophilles
>>
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So lads I need some advice. Had one relationship that ended on fairly bad terms about 3 years ago with no contact from about 6 months after that.

I've been trying to find a way to contact her online but there's nothing except an old instagram with 3 posts from 200 weeks ago. I know where she used to live but she may also live at a different address in the same town which I've found through searching her parents. I want to get back into contact with her purely to catch up and see how she's doing with her life, also to apologise for being a cunt when/ after I broke up with her.

Tempted to drive there (60 miles) and see if she's there or if I can give her parents a message to give to her to see if she wants to catch up some time. Is this a bad idea? Getting pretty tempted to do it desu but I'm not sure.
>>
http://strawpoll.me/6823647

Just want to get an idea of how dire your situations are.
>>
>>26506204
>pedophilles
paedophiles

change your browser language to en-gb
>>
>>26506224
Fill out your ESA form by yourself lad.
>>
>>26506224
>http://strawpoll.me/6823647

Optimism tells me I won't try again :^)
>>
Lads what would be the consequences of hitting someone with a baseball bat?
I mean like just once, I know its an assault charge but how much jail time we talking?
>>
Poleaboo is signing on in half an hour
>>
>>26506481
Get ready for a bitchy advisor in a shit mood.
>>
>>26506213
proper creepy mate wouldn't bother

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veAIHDGghP4
>>
>get drivers license
>too scared to buy car
>don't know shit about cars or buying them anyway
>>
>>26506120

MrFappyFappy, where are you?
>>
>>26506497
He's camp little gay man

Only gives Poleaboo aggro for not using Universal JobMatch (all the adverts redirect you to apply via different sites, such as workcircle, so he can't check if it has been used or not)
>>
>>26506514

You can pay the AA or RAC to go and have a look at a car for you. Go on gumtree and buy something petrol and Japanese, you can't go far wrong. Or maybe a Ford.
>>
>>26506155
Absolutely good taste.
>>
>>26506541
Do i have to like, haggle? Like in life of brian?
I don't want to get ripped off innit
>>
>>26506513
I was thinking this but I honestly just want to meet her to catch up. Would it be less creepy to message her mum on facebook or something?
>>
>>26506528
You should tell the receptionist your religion forbids a gay man to be your advisor.
>>
>>26506599

You can if you want, I bought my last car at full asking price because it was exactly as described and already cheap.

Generally if you do, aim to get about 5 - 10% off the asking price. Say the car is up for two grand, offer 1600 and they will most likely meet you in the middle.

Buy on condition and history, mileage isn't really relevant.
>>
>>26506675
Cheers senpai
>>
I'm not some /lit/ faggot but sometimes books can be pretty amazing for describing feelings and moods. You don't really get that with tv shows or films.

>He wanted to be like a pennant, dependent on each gusting wind. The only thing that seemed valid to him was to live for the emotions, gratuitous and unstable, dying only to quicken again, dwindling and flaring without direction or purpose.

Speaks to me tbqh.
>>
>>26506614
I wouldn't if I were you
>>
>>26506120

Got a phone interview with the AA. Going to see if I can play Civ the entire time I'm on the phone.
>>
Who else is in Eastbourne here?
>>
>>26506739
>Got a phone interview with the AA.
So did Poleaboo but he chose to turn his phone off during the time period the call would come in due to anxiety
>>
>>26506705
it's pretentious tbqh
and poorly written
>>
>>26506705
Which book?

>>26506739
Which civ? Which country?
>>
>>26506546
Absolutely thanks pal.
>>
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IMPORTANT POST:

Post your waifus lads.
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>>26506827
Why the fuck are you so nosey? Fuck off.
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>>26506816
It's hard to truly judge how it's written as it's a translation from Japanese. The quality of writing is dependent on the skill of the translator and his grasp of both languages.

>>26506827
Spring Snow by Yukio Mishima
>>
>>26506827

Civ 5, I'm Greece at the minute, trying to fend off Shaka's million Impi rush.
>>
>>26506858
I'm living my life vicariously through anons on britfeel because i hate myself
Why are you such a cunt?
>>
>>26506866
well how it's written in english is pretty shit
if you want to read jap lit, read it in jap
otherwise you're missing 90% of it
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>>26506120
He's in the KEBAB shop

Absolute M A D M A N
>>
Rung work to say I got a bad fever and can't work tonight, first time I've ever called in sick, literally can't do a 4 hour evening shift which nothing ever needs doing anyway, still got the whole oh are you sure you can't come in anyway blah fucking blah.

What a load of bollocks honestly lads
>>
>>26506932
Why not go in and let everyone else get it?
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>>26506857
message received
>>
>>26506944
Well that was kind of my point to the store manager why risk going in and giving it to everyone else .

I'm young and pretty /fit/ , ( I lift and train the feels away rather than wank to anime and eat chocolate ) so I know in the next 24hrs it'll be gone
>>
>>26506967
>can't do a 4 hour shift with the sniffles
>thinks he's fit
>>
>>26506767

Hastings. Studying in Canterbury though
>>
>>26506730
I really don't know how to go about this without coming off as a creepy stalker. I'm not interested in fucking her, just meeting up and having a chat or something.

My guilty conscience has also been nagging at me for the last couple of years.
>>
>>26506932
I fucking hated that when i did those jobs. I was always the first person they called when someone else bailed on a shift.

They called me in before an A-level exam and when I said no, try someone else they waited 15 minutes and rang up again saying none else would do it.

They took a load of shifts off me after that because i messed up one order and one table got free pudding. I'd been working the bar, the restaurant and working as the kitchen porter all night on my own while the owner sat around and drank.

Cunts.
>>
>>26506991
She's probably forgotten you even exist you pillock
>>
>>26507002

This. roasties don't hold on to shit like we do.
>>
>>26507002
I doubt it, we took each others virginities and I was the one who broke of contact (she was talking to me for months after I dumped her). I ended up telling her to fuck off because I could see it wasn't good for either of us.
>>
>>26506857
nuJ evoL I
>>
>>26507017
>I ended up telling her to fuck off because I could see it wasn't good for either of us

Then don't get back in touch you tool
>>
>>26507017
You've clearly already made your mind up, so just fucking do it
Make sure to report back here afterwards
>>
>>26506975
A internal temperature of 38C and diarrohea
>>
>>26506992
That's shit man
>>
>>26506857
An image of my waifu has been posted senpai~
>>
>grandfather got banned from Asda for stealing
>mfw

This cunt is nearly 70. It's not as though he's some old, frail, mentally ill old man either. He's completely sane and fully aware of what he is doing.
>>
>>26507126
Put my notice in and they gave me no shifts until the final day of my notice. It was a ten hour wedding shift.

They 'forgot' to pay me for a month too
>>
>>26506992
I remember working at a bar where the owner was a proper lazy cunt who bullied the staff. He would come in all the time and say "pull me a pint" before going off on one with one of the female staff members or one of the lads who were too scared to defend themselves.

Anyway after a while I used to sneak behind a little wall where some people would put their coats and I rubbed my bell end around the rim of the glass. I would then stash the glass behind the bar in a special place so that whenever he asked for a pint he'd get that one.

I dare say this happened about 15 times before I quit.
>>
>>26507151
NOW POST BOIPUSSY AND ARMPITS YOU SLUT
>>
>>26507164
Hah, my grandfather got banned from a Sainsburys local for walking out with 6 cans of Strongbow.

When I asked him why he said "She was being a clever cow for no reason so I wasn't having any of it"

"Yeah but you stole those cans"

"Well I wasn't going to hang around and listen to her shit and I wasn't going to put them back either after making the trip"

Madman.
>>
>>26507164
bants

nah just kidding, on the cross
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>>26507170
The owners of the spot i worked ate and drank themselves out of 4000bong in profits in a year.

Treated the staff like servants. I believe after i left the angry glaswegian chef stormed out in the middle of a wedding
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>>26507186
stop being a meanie.

please
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>>26507056
The difference is now that I assume she's grown up as much as I have over that time.

>>26507074
Thing is I'm a poor as fuck student. I'm at home at the moment so if my parents give me more dosh than I'm expecting I'll do it this Wednesday hopefully. I'll report back with results. What'll probably happen is no one will be in or I'll get told to fuck off.
>>
>>26507186
>>26507277
Y-yeah, I'm not a slut or anything like that~
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>>26507277
ITS NOT BULLYING, ITS ASKING FOR SEXY PICS
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>>26507293
Why did you ask for advice if you'd already made up your mind you fud
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>>26507337
I just wanted to see what robots would say desu, I'm very unsure about it but I'm just gonna take a leap of faith
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>>26507323
YES YOU FUCKING ARE, NOW POST THEM
>>
>>26507323
POST MAN TITS
>>
>>26506514
I'd recommend either a ford or a toyota unless you can afford something better like a tesla or volvo

>my ford mondeo lasted 235,000 miles
>currently drive a prius (dont hate) its at 90,000 and has never broken down, cheap to run and super reliable
>tesla is basically future if you can afford one then go for it
>volvo are probably the most reliable if you can get one

if you're early 20's, I'd recommend a ford focus/fiesta

source: i like cars more than women
(p.s prius haters are scum)
>>
>>26507323
show some skin shweet'art
>>
White bastard at the JobCentre told Poleaboo to take off his hood

Decent slag outside the building

Polish hag speaking loudly into her phone on the way home

Sister grassed him up to mum for posting on forums again
>>
>Trying to wank off to an amateur video of a paki fucking some white girl
>The animal is really pounded her, gonna cum soon
>She moans 'Harder Rasheed'
>Lose boner from laughing
Fuck the lad ITT who calls everyone they don't like Rasheed.
>>
I'm going to get my blankie and pillow, order a pizza and watch some movies.
>>
>>26507532
>White bastard
Watch your tone lad, show some respect to the superior race. Only delinquents wear hoods indoors.
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>>26507559
It's the fucking job centre, place is full of animals

As if a hood makes a difference
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>>26507380
No, I'm not a slut at all senpai. A slut would have posted pictures by now~

>>26507500
Sorry senpai, I'm DFC~

>>26507525
M-maybe someday~

>>26507532
Why does your sister hold such a grudge against you?
>>
>>26507595
>Why does your sister hold such a grudge against you?
Probably cares but chooses to express it in a way she can offer the most help, tough love
>>
>>26507511
>Prius

If you drive it for reliability and/or comfort then that's fine. If you drive it because you think you're doing the environment a favour then you're fucking retarded.

The greenhouse gases created when manufacturing one of their batteries completely negates its low emissions. It's not an environmentally friendly car.
>>
>>26507632
That's some wishful thinking lad. Post her feet.
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>>26507595
>I'm DFC

Yer what?

This came up on an image search so i'll assume its relevant.
>>
>>26506154
Great choice of pub, after that one let's go round the corner to the Jolly Farmers before finishing the night down at Plush
>>
Just got off the phone from the AA interview, I accidentally said I left a previous job because it was too much like a call centre so I'm probably fucked.

At least now I can start drinking.
>>
>>26507595
Men can't be DFC, you're just not fat.
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>>26507695
Is it the one in Stockport/Manchester?
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>>26506120
Gonna go visit my brother and his wife and kids.
Also just been to TK Maxx to get a new jacket for work. Work at Maccas and my clothes stink so I've ruined a few good jackets I actually liked. Picked up a shitty crosshatch jacket for 20 quid so it's good... also spent the same on Timberland shades and now I regret it.
>>
>>26507709

Newcastle mate. I've just got an email inviting me for a recruitment day so their standards must be lower than I thought.
>>
>>26507768
Poleaboo feels he could have got that job, too bad his anxiety decided to flare up today
>>
>>26507768
Ye joooooooookin
>>
>tfw my new hat arrived today

:3
>>
Its fucking Monday.
the depression begins.
got some replacement parts for my dremel,
theyre the wrong fucking parts.
I need a shit.
>>
>>26507742
>my brother's wife and kids

Hahaha holy shit I thought the cuck memes were a joke.
>>
>>26507875
Post hatt
>>
>>26507959
n-no anon
>>
>>26507994
Why not, I want to see it.
>>
>>26508005
i-its embarrassing
>>
>>26507875
>>26507994
i would like to see the hat as well.
>>
>>26508013
We're anonymous, silly.

There's no reason to be embarrassed.
>>
>not posting hat
Would never make it in /tf2g/
>>
>>26507949
I don't get it. What's cucked about a guy who has a wife and kids at 30?

3 aren't his, and she's only preggers with his

I'm just going for pints and to brag I spent most of my pay on shit like clothes and video games while he spent his on kids and the house.
>tfw my pay is less than his and my rent is more than his too and I still have plenty of money to throw around.
>married with children, not even once.
>>
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>driving lesson at 11:30 tomorrow
>gonna have to either get up 2 hours before because it takes me forever to wake up or get up an hour before and crash

TOO FUCKING EARLY
>>
>>26508072
I have wake up at 6am tomorrow morning and walk 5 miles to a health assessment.

;_;
>>
Mates how easy is it to cancel a bank transfer?

my regular supplier of drugs (had 1k spent on him over the year) seems to have disappeared after a 100quid stash payment.

Can I simply call the bank and tell em I made a mistake or something? what's a good way of doing this shit.
>>
>>26508128
If it's not been 3 days you can call them and cancel.
If it's later, you fucked.
>>
>>26508017
Still tippin'
>>
>>26508152

friday noon is when I paid.
>>
>>26508170
you're boned then
best bet is to pay him a visit in person
>>
>>26508128
>ring up bank
>I'd like to cancel a payment
>okay sir what is your name
>anon
>okay anon which payment
>to Mr D Dealer
>okay anon I have canceled that for you, is there anything else I can help you with
>gf
>sorry anon we do not provide that service
>o-okay b-b-ye
>>
>>26508170
Call the bank. Worst happens it's too late.
>>
>>26507532

>having your hood up indoors

Utter scum.
>>
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>>26506120
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content).
wow
>>
Who else dresses like a chav here?

If you can't beat em join em.
>>
>>26508312
I dress like a 14 year old boy.

I look like one too
>>
>>26508199
I can accept that the Brit in the image is a manlet paki but a white Argentinian? That's just ridiculous.
>>
>>26508312
i use tracksuit bottoms and hoodies because im a fat shit desu
>>
>>26506519
Yes please show yourself and tell us how your job is going
>>
>>26506693
I'd help you out in person if you were closer to London
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>>26508312
Chav, no.
Normiefag yes.
>crosshatch jacket, lacoste tee, primark jeans and adidas gazelles.
All day erryday
>>
>>26508389
>That's just ridiculous.
>mfw I was mutted again
>mfw there's nothing you can said here without being mutted
>mfw
>>
>>26508312
No mate, have some self respect.
>>
Applying for a job to work at Natwest lads
>>
I've gone back to live with my dad for a while and he hates smoking.
Any tips from any smokefags here to avoid getting caught?
>>
>>26508455
Stop smoking?
>>
>>26508429
It's designed to keep shitposters like you out, fuck off back to /int/.
>>
Are there any good weeb online stores based in UK? Wouldn't mind supporting something local.
>>
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>>26508492
How about you suck my ass clean, faggot.

joke's on you I'm not even argaytinian
>>
>>26508455
Go in the garden?

You literally cannot smoke in doors without it being noticed.
>>
>>26507543
Link me up senpai
>>
>>26508312
>shop at Sports Direct and JD Sports.
What do you think.
>>
>>26508128

>paying for drugs via bank transfer

You deserve to go to prison for being a complete idiot, as does he. What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

Really though, if he has been caught then you're fucked anyway, the bank will give the police any info they want and you'll have to explain the transactions. Best get a story thought of now.
>>
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>need to go shopping
>put it off all day
>start getting really hungry
>decide to go for it
>see it's getting dark

Maybe tomorrow
>>
>>26508674
Why did you put it off?

I do this all the time.
>>
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Quiet day today, was hoping to spend a day without leaving the house but food situation is critical. Got some pasta but can't decide what to do with it and anything I choose is going to mean going to spasda.
>>
>>26508668
>the police care about people buying drugs for recreational use

Yea mate, I'm sure they're going to set up a phone tap on him and everything to catch him the next time he tries to buy a ten bag of weed.
>>
>>26508719
>know he uses his bank.
>use his bank transactions to trace his new dealer.
He's just gonna fuck people over.
>not just getting drugs off the dark net.
>>
>>26508863
Mate this isn't the fucking Wire and he's not Al Capone. No one in the police is going to give a shit about some robot buying weed and pills.
>>
What's up, lads? Just dumped 60 quid on 1-3 day shipping onahole and onahole warmer.

I've never used one of these things before, but did a bit of research for placing the order. Was going to go with a "dick bully" lolinco but thought it'd be too tight despite me being only a bit above average length and maybe under average girth (not sure on that part).

Went with a big Rina
>http://en-nls.com/pict1-42594?c2=9999&incart=1

I've got like, 7 bottles of bad dragon cumlube still. Hope that stuff works.

You reckon customs are going to fuck me over? I got a 27 quid bill two weeks after my BD m/Chance and m/David got delivered a few months ago.
>>
Lads, last nights sinday sesh got a bit too real.
>drinking with lads
>banter banter banter
>"anon wouldnt understand, hes never been woth a girl"
>bamter banter banter
It wasnt mentioned again and i feel its too late to pretend i have been woth a girl.
How did they know, dont wanna fo to next sundays sesh.
>>
>>26508946
>ordering pedo onaholes from overseas

youre going to jail, not even joking
>>
>>26509163
It's not illegal though.
>>
>>26509200
>loli stuff
>legal here
>>
>>26509216

If it was porn, yeah. I mean, the packaging would need to be full on loli porn to fall under that classification.

Just to be safe I ticked the "remove packaging" option during checkout though.
>>
Am I the only depressed robot here who is forced to work on a building site everyday around all the builders banter?

I just want to be left alone for fuck sake, its like being at school again, no qualified for anything else and being on JSA doesn't pay enough

Seriously just fucking end it
>>
>>26509236
Become a supervisor or something
>>
>>26508946
No idea what customs are going to do, but I enjoyed your post nonetheless.
>>
>>26509242
Long way away from that yet mate
>>
>>26509247

Thanks friend, I enjoyed yours too. Do you want to fuck? We're both desperate virgins. We could end it.
>>
>>26509236
That sounds like hell mate.
>>
>>26507532
>smelly paki mad at his white betters
>>
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Ultralight Beam is one kanye's greatest choons but apart from real friends the rest of the album's just a 7/10 nothing GOAT
>>
Wish I could just end it all to be honest lads
>>
>>26509274
I'd prefer Midna, but if you can get that onahole up your nether I suppose it would be a similar enough experience to her to be acceptable for me.
>>
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spasda was awful but now the ordeal is over.
Going to make pasta then get cosy in bed with the dog and watch lotr I think.
>>
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>>26508946
That's a good order, eventually I ended up with the R20 because I split the smaller ones. I was always fine with customs. And the guide does have everything you need.
>>
>>26508946
https://youtu.be/1Uuq1OnYdIo

0.37. You are ordering a sex toy emulating a real life 8 year old girl.
>>
>>26509301
Most days I consider suicide desu
If I didn't have family who cared it'd already be over
>>
>>26506767
no but i'm in the west sussex area
>>
>>26509393
>If I didn't have family who cared it'd already be over

I used to not want to do it because of my parents but I realised they never gave a fuck about me so why should I give a fuck now?
>>
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>>26509431
I'm sorry you feel that way mate, I'm sure they do care, in their own way

I know it would break my mum if I did it, I know how much the death of a loved one can destroy a person, its partly the reason I already feel this way
>>
>>26509236

Literally on my way home from working construction, I'm the engineer though so thankfully don't have to do much manual labour.

The shite banter pisses me off, always asking how many birds I shagged last night.

>It's a weekday nigga

Also always being asked
>What you got there
When on break, suck your mum man I just wanna have lunch in peace.

I'm looking for a design job now though, so I can be inside warm and shitposting on here 9-5.
>>
>>26509393
can't you get another job? there are other shit jobs out there.
>>
>>26509216
Loli is legal in Wales and Scotland, only haram in England.
>>
>don't really have enough money leftover to pay rent unless I go super cheap on my diet (like 50quid for 25 more days for someone who needs 3500-4k calories just to break even)
>fat paycheck next month, 1 day after rent day

Can I just tell the landlady 1 week in advance that I'll be a day late on payment because of unexpected expenses?

ive paid on time for 6 months already so i dont think shell bitch about it.
>>
>>26509589
sheep fucking is legal in wales too
>>
>>26509594
the paki shelf stackers story continues.
>>
>>26509594
50 quid to last 25 days of food is easy as fuck, just buy smart price pasta and jars of pasta bake, it won't be an exciting 25 days but you'll survive.
>>
>mum cooks me dindins
>already binged on crisps and chocolates this morning because it is the only thing that makes me feel good
>throw my dindins in the bin without her knowing
>>
>>26509773
I binge on chocolate and crips and still eat my dindins.

>without her knowing
they always know.
>>
>>26509805
>they always know.

truth
>>
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Whats everyone listening to?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vATlONpoS1I
>>
>>26509617

not my fault these fucks gave me the wrong tax code.

looking forward to my fat 2k+ payslip next month tho, only 350 goes to rent too.

Also I'm god tier flip, not middle eastern. know my pronouns.
>>
>>26509663

>carbs carbs carbs carbs

fuck that shit sucka, aldi's selling those premium 95% pork sausages for 3 quid a kilogram atm.

Also angus burgers for 1.75quid per 1k calories/100g brotein.

Cheap, but with my insane metabolism and unnatural gains it'll still cost 100-150quid a month.

I'd rather eat quality shit and lose a bit of pride.
>>
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>>26509872
>before steroids
>>
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>>26509872
>after steroids
>>
Does weed damage brain?

I have smoke years and nothing wrong with me.
>>
>>26509918
>needing steroids to get that big

Yikes. I wouldn't even think about steroids until I'd gotten to his size naturally.
>>
>>26509946
weed no damage brain.

i smoke weed and work shelf stack job my boss say good job rakesh i take roid help make flip flop master race paki pray time i go ride bike it has ring ring
>>
>>26509864
Perfect combination of depressing and comfy~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f11Fi98XglM
>>
>>26509342
I respect your opinion but this is one of the greatest albums ever made by our lord yeezus in my 0pinon senpai
>>
I'm singing in the rain...
>>
>>26509979
On the train home as I read this, fucking lost it and now everyone's staring at me like I'm some kind of retard

Its worth it
>>
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>>26510030
Gonna get stoned later and listen to it.
>>
>>26507667
OXFORD?

Don't forget tuesday night at babylove, brother.

Seriously though, Oxford meetup when?

Email me at [email protected] if you're keen.

Also sorry to the two guys that I once drunkenly emailed from that account.
>>
>>26510102
Please tell us all about it lad.
I hope it goes well, but if it doesn't thats also pretty good.
>>
>>26510102
So many niggas from oxford in these threads.
I don't want to meet up though, sorry mate.
>>
What are my chances of getting some 350's on the 19th?

I've wanted a pair since they were first released but I don't live anywhere even close to any shops that were stocking them and the online game is an absolute joke.

On the first couple colourways it seemed people over here had an easy time getting them from Adidas UK but I think now they've grown in popularity I won't stand a fucking chance. Cunts are just out to buy 20 pairs to resell.
>>
Of fuck right off you tedious cunt.
>>
>>26510196
Did you forget to reply to someone babe?
>>
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>>26509979
oregano comment desu
>>
>>26510156
why not m8?


oceee
>>
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People should just try and meet up causally more here imo. I'm in azulads room right now, just having a nice chill time.
>>
>>26510339
I hope you both die of aids
>>
>>26510339
>interacting with people irl

normies out reeeee
>>
>>26510339
Hoe you enemad up beforehand. Getting shit on someones dick isnt fun
>>
>>26510178
Slim to nome bro.
>driving up to aberdeen on the 19th to cop a pair (hopefully) then home.

>tfw just copped a pair of adidas x raf simons stan smiths.
>tfw no one in my area knows raf.
>>
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>>26509773
>Mum used to make me sandwiches for school and I never used to eat them.
>I used to get told off so I started throwing them in the loft (my room is a loft conversion so there's a normal door to the loft).
>Fast forward ten years and I'm 24.
>I get a text from my Dad asking why there's shit loads of mouldy old sandwiches in the loft and do I want them for lunch because I'm an ungrateful sod.
>>
>>26510156
No worries, lad. You're welcome if you change your mind
>>
Snake with two heads
>>
>>26510339
Post pics of you both cuddling and touching dicks
>>
>>26510423
Why didn't you throw them in a bin like a normal human being

Better yet why didn't you just fucking eat them in the first place? What are you, anorexic or something
>>
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>>26509966

Got a tiny bit bigger now tho.

#17 inch arms
>>
>>26510587

Bedpost, computer chair and fabric softener all in the same room?

Plus have you just thrown a carrier bag on the floor?! Those are worth 5 whole pence.
>>
>>26509903
>poor
>picky eater
pick one.
>>
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>>26506857

Waifu status

[x] posted
[ ] not a qt
>>
>>26510647

being organized ain't one of my specialties.
>>
>>26510339
I try to but I'm really nervous
>>
You were the manual orgasm
I was the dirty little boy
>>
>>26510767
Do you need a cuddle to get you into the mood senpai?
>>
Pc nagged me into letting it restart for updates.
5 minutes has never felt so long and lonely
>>
>>26510587
can you not afford to buy a wallet
>>
>>26510846

when my paycheck arrives I'll have over a grand of play money to buy superficial shit and night clubs.
>>
>>26510805
I'd love cuddles but I'm not really cute enough for anyone
>>
>>26509342
>you left your fridge open somebody just took a sandwich

kanye is delivering some of the most relatable feels of 2016
>>
>>26510887
Plenty of people like cuddling manly men senpai. I know I do.
>>
>payslip still hasn't come through

Are. you. taking. the. fucking. piss. mate.
>>
>>26510943
I'm not a manly man, I take girl pills and ty to be as fem as possible
>>
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2 dilemmas plague me this evening lads:

1. A girl messaged me to say she wishes she were here (in the country, she's abroad). Do I say 'yeah it'd be nice having you around' OR ignore her.

2. The only way I can get drunk tonight is if I drink with my mum. I want to be drunk, but also alone, how can I best achieve this?

Your help is, as ever, appreciated.
>>
>Guys and girls in work ask me why don't I have a gf
>Tell me I have a well paying job, nice car and a house so it should be easy

It's nice to be told women will only want to be with you for your material possessions. It's like they want me to be some girls beta bux, probably a girl who spent her uni years "having fun".
>>
>>26511007
I'm trying to do that too
But I should really get my blood checked first senpai

How long have you been on them?
>>
>>26510581
I was at the time yeah. I massively regret it now because I will always have stick arms. Serves me right for acting like a girl.
>>
>>26510339
>People should just try and meet up causally more here imo

B-but that's for /soc/ and normies

R-reee

so alone
>>
About to go to the shop lads, anyone want anything while I am there?
>>
>>26511028
jesus christ
can you not make simple decisions yourself
why would you ignore the girl?
>>
>>26511028
1. Yes text her back. "I wish you were here too x"

2. Get pissed with Mum. Neck a load of booze quickly then go upstairs.
>>
>>26511031
>probably a girl who spent her uni years "having fun"
You mean literally all of them? Never heard of a girl who wasn't a complete whore at uni.
>>
>>26511069
Almost a year now, they really are miracle pills if you want to be a girl.

Bloods aren't super important but you want to make sure your t level is near 0
>>
>>26511126
A pic of your pits?
>>
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>>26509979
I'm in tears, holy fuck.
>>
>>26511126

Bring me back 28 of those 5-litre bottles of Evian please Tilde
>>
>>26511031
Fuck off, normie bastard shit
>>
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>>26510339
Seeing as you guys live-post about it without fail at multiple times during I can only imagine how boring/terrible it is.
>>
>>26511168
This, but loads of guys never got any action, with more women at uni than men how does that work out?
>>
>>26506705
>sometimes books can be pretty amazing for describing feelings and moods

>The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was.
>>
>>26511308
>with more women at uni than men how does that work out?

I'm curious to know the reason as well, as it's definitely not possible that one male can copulate with multiple, different females
>>
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>>26511308
something along these lines,

roboto
>>
>>26511333
I find it hard to believe most uni girls are in some jock's harem.
>>
>>26511308
>>26511333
The girls at my uni would go to the clubs and fuck the chads that came into town to fuck students.
>>
>>26510522
post with two two's
>>
>>26509229
>Just to be safe I ticked the "remove packaging" option during checkout though

You do realise that means they send instructions that customs can remove the packaging to do a more thorough investigation?
>>
>>26510339
yet you still post here, so what's the point?
>>
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>>26511308

The 80/20 rule. 80% of women fuck 20% of men. If you're not part of that top 20% of men...better luck in your next life.
>>
>>26511126
a lucky dip pls
>>
Anyone wanna meet up for a scrap in Sheffield?
>>
>>26511126
Get me a can of stella
>>
>>26511173
What is important then? I imagine it could be pretty dangerous if you get unlucky/fuck up.
>>
drying my hair
>>
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>>26511424
the two girls at the bottom are lesbians, but what about her at the top?

Just ugly?
>>
now i'm trimming my pubes
>>
>>26511499

She's a strong independent womyn who don't need no man.
>>
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>>26511481
So long as you don't smoke and don't drink too much it's pretty safe, also if you're on spiro don't have too many bananas

it's safer then most antidepressants
>>
>>26511424
I used to think this was some meme but I've confirmed it with several pissed up girls who didn't give a shit. They told me they'd gladly wait a few months of no sex just to spend one night with a top alpha and they don't mind being #48 on his list of girls to shag.
>>
>>26511606
Well thanks senpai, ill do some more research anyway.
Thats pretty reassuring though.
>>
>>26511468

You're not even gonna offer a lad a pint afterwards?

Oh, you won't feel a thing the way you're carrying on.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDAKBzFFa6U

Thoughts lads? Teared up tbqh
>>
now i'm sucking dick, just for fun
>>
I want to get a mastiff with good blood lines and just feed him a completely raw diet so he grows up to become a huge cunt.
>>
>>26511840
I want to get a bird and feed it bird food. No money tho
>>
Anyone think it would be /comfy/ working in a petrol station lads? Specially the night shift; typical degenerate robot job.
>>
>>26506120

>Northampton will never have an airport

Why even live lads? It's impossible to just nip abroad, you have to go to Birmingham or Luton and they are fucking miles away
>>
>go to Bargain Booze
>no Hobgoblin in
>ask the man
>he tells me they forgot to deliver it but he ordered 4 crates in for me this week and they will be in tomorrow

I want to get drunk tonight though, not tomorrow.

Had to get a variety selection instead. I got

>2x Greene King IPA reserve
>2x Wychwood Imperial Red
>2x Waggle Dance by Wells
>1x Old Empire IPA
>1x Banana Bread Beer

Will of course start with the Banana Bread Beer, hopefully I can find something else very enjoyable among this bunch.
>>
>>26511942
I had a friend who did that, apparently they still get a bunch of people.

Probably depends on where you live I'm guessing.
>>
>>26511942

Don't think it would be comfy at all desu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZLeQh-P-R0
>>
>>26511942
I do

I applied for a night time position in a petrol station once, but they never got back to me so I took a normie job in a bank. Then like a month later the bloke rang me up for an interview but I was already settled at the bank.

Would love to work there though. Just sit around all night on your laptop serving a handful of people through the glass and doing random odd jobs around the place.
>>
>>26511942
Most petrol stations close the doors but keep you manning the kiosk window, you'll spend the night alternating being bored and trying to work out what drunk retards want you to find on the shelves and bring to them.
>>
This whole "treat a disgusting downie spakker like a human being" shit on corrie is going too far
>>
now i'm shaving my balls, luckily my sack has tightened up from being out of the shower naked so long and getting a bit cold.

still undecided on whether i'll shave all my pubes too, depend on how much it'll sting.
>>
>>26512040
I walked through the room while my mum was watching some woman in tears begging to buy weed from some old woman in a pharmacy, it was really embarrassing so I had to leave.
>>
>>26511953
Which Hobgoblin do you buy?
>>
>>26506120
porting some of my projects over to python
>>
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>>26511865
>>26511865
I have a bird,
>>
>silent for ages
>I accidently make a loud noise
>neighbour makes a louder one by banging on the wall
>not sure if I'm paranoid so wait a bit and make the noise again
>neighbour bangs twice even louder

I hate those fucking old cunts
>>
>>26512257
Awwwww, I want one.
How expensive is keeping one?
>>
>>26512266
Vocaroo the noise for us please? Try to include the neighbour noise.
>>
>>26512257
are birds easy to look after, do you have to clean up after it loads?
>>
>>26512281
The real question is can you put up with its fuckin sqwauking 24/7
>>
Sum 41 are playing at my uni tonight lads, but the tickets are eighteen quid. Worth going?
>>
>>26512306
Yea I can senpai.

The birds in my back garden never shut up, I'm fine with it desu.

>>26512257
Does it fill the empty void in your soul?
>>
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>>26512281
He's a parrotlet. Basically a mini parrot.

Cost me 25 bong, so not expensive. He has a huge cage though.

>>26512303
You have to give them tons of attention because they're very smart, social animals. If not, they get stressed and start pulling all their feathers out.

You have to clean up after them shitting. So if you've got them out of the cage expect them to shit a lot and always have to clean it up
>>
>>26512344
I WANT ONE.
Can you teach him to say 'desu' or 'senpai'?
>>
>>26511966

I usually go just after midnight when my wages go in, I fill up and it prevents me from gambling my wages away
>>
>>26512377
You can teach them to say anything if you repeat it enough.
>>
>>26512337
I was meant to go see them in Bristol but I forgot. I can't remember how much the tickets were but it was more than 18 quid. I didn't realise I'd forgotten until someone at work mentioned it and I remembered I had a ticket at home. The short answer is that I don't know.
>>
>>26512337
I would desu, just for the nostalgia of being 9 years old and happy again
>>
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>>26512377
One more.

original
>>
>>26512404
Why do your parents have access to your money? Sounds shit.
>>
>>26512439
fatty bum bum in the house, stay off the crisps mate
>>
>>26512439
Very nice. Like the background.
>>
>>26512464
Read his post again fampai
>>
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>>26512476
Not even fat mate. Pic I posted other day
>>
>Break up with gf Saturday
>Get drunk
>Pretty grim sunday, don't leave bed until 5pm as I'm hungover
>Goto work today
>About half 10 a delivery arrives, strangely petite girl driving this huge van
>Lithuanian accent, my gf was Romanian and I have a thing for these accents.
>Muster up the courage to ask if she's seeing anyone
>She says no and is blushing but I don't really close the deal
>Eventually we laugh at the situation, I sign her sheet and go on about my day
>She's taken my name from the sheet and has just messaged me on fb
>Asks where I work to make sure it's me
>Now asked if I remember her

fug

what the fuck, brobots

I'll post pic soon maybe
>>
>>26512506
Looks like soft hands desu.
>>
>>26512554
They were actually dry as fuck when this was taken.
>>
>>26512542
Nice hips baby.
>>
>>26512536
If you can pick up a girl that easy you don't need help from /r9k/

Fuck off with your bait lad
>>
>>26512594
ty, you should come feel them for real.
>>
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>>26512603

desu this is freaking me out

I was bricking it when I asked

My gf was basically as autistic with this stuff as I am.
>>
Why won't my dog chew bones? He's had a trotter and a big, tough chew bone for a week now and he just carries them around a licks them.

He's like 7 years old but his teeth are all fine. Still really white and healthy.
>>
>>26512493
Fucking hell I'm retarded. I'm sorry, it has been a long day.
>>
>>26512720
You don't have to apologize to me senpai. It's alright.
>>
>>26512678
she looks like a man

ocee
>>
>>26512690

You should try an actual pig femur. My dog doesn't like normal bones but she won't move for 6 hours if we give her one of those. Just from a butcher or something. They kinda stink though.
>>
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reposting with the picture the right way up.

not sure whether to now trim my tummy hair now after shaving my pubes and ballsack

it kind of looks silly just having a line where the hair stops but if i shave that then i might then want to shave all my chest hair off.

then what about my leg hair, that looks silly too the hair next to my silky smooth ballsack.

where does it stop? will i have to shave off every hair on my body to end this madness?
>>
>>26512863
Just shave it all~

oc
>>
>>26512863
Just leave it for fucks sake...
>>
>>26512863
never shave, it lets your bf bury his face into your pubes when he is giving you a blowjob and gives him the opportunity to take in all of your musk
>>
>>26512690
>his teeth are all fine
I'm taking one of my dogs to have his teeth checked tomorrow, they're going to have to anaesthetise him to do it. Unless you've been through that already you can't know for sure there's nothing wrong with his teeth.
>>
>>26512896
where should i draw the line though, tummy or chest? and what about the leg hair, that looks sort of out of place compared to my ballsack

>>26512904
make your minds up; reeeeee

>>26512918
but i don't have a bf ;_;
>>
>>26512988
No hair, its too late to go back now. If you wanted to keep the hair you needed to just trim it.
>>
>>26506120
Dark souls pvp on xbox
>>
>>26506120
Anyone /Somerset/ wanna go for a beer?
>>
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plan on waking up earlier tomorrow with a fag and a coffee and getting shit done
either that or play vidya all day :L
>>
>>26512464

>re read my own post
>read 'prevents' as 'parents'

I can see why you were confused.
>>
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>tfw given up smoking

I envy you, bro, I really do.
>>
>>26512096
The blue one, whatever else?
>>
>>26513057
yeah maybe m8, where abouts are you and how old are you? i'm near frome
>>
>>26513057
My gf lives in somerset, keep away from her.
>>
>>26512055
Fascina-ting
>>
>>26512690
my dog does this, she figures bones are too much effort for so little reward. she prefers smaller manegable snacks.

get it some denta sticks. it can chew em and theyre good for its teeth.
>>
>>26513218
18, bath based

How old are you?
>>
>tfw spent the whole day in bed drifting in and out of sleep

Someone sum up /britfeel/ for me please.
>>
>>26511126

Tilde sure is taking a long time at the shops
>>
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>>26513427
>tfw kind of alright but not amazing but happy with it nonetheless since it could be worse
>>
>>26513457
I got back 10 minutes ago. I go to the furthest one from me to burn as many calories as possible~
>>
>>26513332
Your dog is a FUCKING WHORE!
>>
>>26513457
He's sucking Mr Amir's greasy cock for all that evian anon requested, I'll bet you anything.
>>
>>26513427
>Someone sum up /britfeel/ for me please.

Every day a lot of people post inane nonsense and call each other "lad" and "mate".

That's it.
>>
Just entered the Pot noodle raffle thing, so you chucklefucks best keep out because I'm going to win, I can feel it.
>>
>>26513504
Sounds pretty accurate to me, mate.

I saw a hedge today, lads.
>>
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>>26506204
It feels so good though
>>
>>26513390
23

extremely original comment right here
>>
>>26511424
but that's the way evolution works
the females all pick the most 'desirable' male while the others get fuck all
marriage and by extension the church made it so everyone got a go
sooo...
1. church stopped evolution
2. church would have got me laid
3. its a shame the 'desirables' of today are fags
>>
>>26513459
>>26513504
>>26513530
Thanks lads. I'm all caught up now.
>>
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>>26513427
>Someone sum up /britfeel/ for me please.

It's basically pic related most threads.
>>
>>26513005
where do i draw the line then?

and i wouldn't go back if i could, having hairless gentiles looks and feels amazing.

just need to workout the rest
>>
>>26513578
I'd be up for meeting if I'm not too young for you

I can also hook you up with dude lmao and all of that
>>
>>26513621
>having hairless gentiles looks and feels amazing.

OY VEH

GOOD GOYIM, FEMININE YOURSELF
>>
>>26513631
are you a pseudo normie? i'm pretty JUST tier myself

and ty for the offer but i quit dudelmao a few years ago
>>
>>26513621
Keep the hair on your head.

desu I need to shave too desu.
>>
>>26513621
>having hairless gentiles looks and feels amazing

I wonder who could be behind this post
>>
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>>26508946
good lad, just make sure to upload a video to mega so I can watch but pls shave
>>
>>26513704
>Not liking hair
u a fag or something pal
>>
>>26513691
i'm not tilde if that's who you're referring too
>>
>>26513741
yes, but uncut cocks just look more suckable smooth
>>
>>26513504
Don't act like you don't enjoy it.
>>26513529
Best of luck. Can you win cool shit or just free pot noodles?
>>
>>26513769
disagree desu, i think uncut with some hair looks manly and better
>>
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>>26513763
Thanks for the kekels
>>
>>26513769
>tfwis it still okay senpai
>>
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>>26513769
Get out Milo. Save it for The Big Questions.
>>
>>26513668
I don't know I mean I have friends but I'm pretty eccentric, and recently pretty much lost all my friends along with my ex- so I'm on my way to becoming a NEET rn tbqh senpai- but I still go out and am up for meeting new people
>>
>>26513827
>I don't know I mean I have friends but I'm pretty eccentric


You sound like a 6/10 nerd girl on tinder mate
>>
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>>26511126
strawberry cornetto, pretty please boss
>>
>>26513857

He already been and has come back it's been like 2 and a half hours what is wrong with you?
>>
>>26513844
Ikr, but I'm a guy believe it or not

I'm just not gonna act as if I'm some sort of super chad because I'm definitely not
>>
We all joke about meeting up for a gangbang with tilde. But if you had a 1to1 meeting with him would you

[]sniff his pits
[]lick his boypuss
[]ravage his boypuss
[]suck his tiny girlcock
[]piss on him
[]gag him with your dick
[]take pictures and share with your good friends on /britfeel/
[]cuddle

And where would you cum?
>>
>>26513825

I watched that show for the first time just last year. They were discussing whether the Devil was real; it was ridiculous.
>>
>>26513963
lick his boypuss
ravage his boypuss
suck his tiny girlcock
gag him with your dick
take pictures and share with your good friends on /britfeel/
cuddle

I'm such a nigger slut
>>
>>26513827
yeah alright i'm up for grabbing a pint although i'd rather not have one in Bath just cos a lot of my old mates live there and i'm just scared of bumping into them
>>
>>26513963
Cuddle and I wouldn't
also pics for fun
>>
>>26513963
>[]sniff his pits
>[]lick his boypuss
>[]ravage his boypuss
>[]suck his tiny girlcock
>[]piss on him
>[]gag him with your dick
>[]take pictures and share with your good friends on /britfeel/
>[x]cuddle
>>
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>>26513807
it feels better fapping smooth anyway, just do it
>>
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>>26513785
Thanks, you can win a grand.
Money is probably better spent on actual lotto tickets but I already buy pot noodles anyway so might as well try.
>>
getting some H in a few days, looking forward to that... otherwise just working...
>>
>>26514146
Don't touch that shit nigga
>>
>>26513963
I would only be willing to cuddle~

and even that would make me blush~
>>
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>>26514203

>this yet again
>>
>>26514126

Your tank's an over engineered piece of shit, Klaus!
>>
>>26514146
that's a really stupid decision anonymous

lay off that shit
>>
>Poleaboo got a email from the AA call centre regarding the phone interview he missed
>It's a paki
>offers to arrange another interview

Job might be within reach
>>
>>26514276
i thought you were a paki?
>>
>>26514284
Yes, poleaboo is a paki

What in the previous post indicated otherwise?
>>
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>>26513973
Best ones are Dawkins vs Islam or Milo vs Feminism. Oh and Hitchens vs The World. Anything else and I turn it off. I like to take my Sunday morning run between Marr and the Sunday Politics so I often miss it anyway.
>>
>>26514203
end yourself already faggot
>>
>>26514203
Me and azulad are watching madoka and sharing a blanket. Both would love to cuddle with you desu la
>>
>>26514358
Can you possibly tip that fedora any harder?
>>
>>26514146
Don't be a fool.

>>26514276
I spoke to an Indian in our Milton Keynes office the other day and thought I'd dialled the wrong number because we have offices in India too. He sounded Indian to start with but then went into that faux black gangster thing you people do.
>"Have I got through to Trivandrum?"
>"Nah mate, I'm in Milton Keynes!"
>"Oh... sorry."
>>
>>26514358

I watched Milo vs Feminism and I thought he could have done a lot better than he did. It would help if they had someone on the opposing side who wasn't a smug cock. It just descended into anarchy which is a shame because those hysterical women could have easily been BTFO
>>
>>26514022
Ah sounds good mate, but I only really kmow bath
>>
>>26514400
I just like a good argument where idiots ultimately get their shit pushed in. Hitchens is as Christian as they come.
>>
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>tfw itchy nipple
>>
>>26514390
I'm so jealous :p
>>
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The guy in this just posted it and I'm not sure how it makes me feel
>>
>>26514442
It's difficult when you're the only somewhat reasonable person there. He tends to fare pretty well considering he's normally outnumbered.
>>
>>26514358

Milo's a tedious cunt. So is Dawkins, honestly. Feminism's ace. Atheism is just correct, but you don't have to leak twatiness over everything when you point that out.
>>
>>26514457
i drive so we could go to one on the outskirts or if you know any really quite ones that would be grand
>>
>>26514146
Do you want to fuck your life up even more?
>>
>>26514442
>>26514522
>>>reddit.com/r/MensRights
>>
>>26514519
you...hope they have fun?
>>
>>26514433
>you people
Fuck off with your racism and generalisations
>>
How the fuck do supermarkets make money on canned fish?

Cost me 40p for a can of sardines with like 12 of those little shits in. They've got to get the fish, make the container and put the oil into the container. Oil that goes straight down the drain.

How do they do that shit.
>>
>>26514546
>>26514531
>>>reddit.com/r/Normies
>>
>>26506497
>pol
>EA
>game
>http://youtu.be/qe5iLzz15XI
>Ayyboo
>>
>>26514534
Devonshire Arms I'm pretty familiar with- the guy there is nice too
>>
>>26514390

>tfw nobody with whom to share a blanket

Thanks for ruining my evening by reminding me you fucking weebs
>>
>>26514522

The woman next to him was perfectly reasonable, she believed in free speech.
>>
>>26514556
All I have to say to that is:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0W50kkQX1pR
>>
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>>26514563
No need to get triggered. It's not racist if it's true "bruv."
>>
>>26514568

Probably by utilising massively unethical and unsustainable fishing practices.

>>26514576

But being sexist IS the norm, you fucking normie.
>>
>>26514568
Top tier banter!
>>
>>26514576
>not being an underage fedora tipping cliche makes you a normie
Fuck off
>>
>>26514593
The ginger woman with the glasses? Yes I agree. I was thinking of an earlier show. I agree he can be over the top sometimes but I enjoy people's expressions when they get verbally bitch slapped so it's worth it.
>>
>>26514568
Third world fishing. They pay like 5p for the fish.

Containers are cheap too when you buy them in bulk.
>>
>>26514519
in this what?
>>
>>26514615
>>26514611
I was being facetious.
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>>
>>26514607
Most of us say "brother", "bruv" takes away from the intimacy of the word
>>
>>26514691

Oh, that's something I like to do, but as we just discovered it doesn't carry well online.
>>
>>26514719
I have to read transcripts of calls between Asian men for work sometimes and they say "Uncle" a lot even when they're not related. Why is that?
>>
>>26514744
Because they all look the same.
>>
>>26514744

It refers to Uncle Osama Bin Laden, any brown skinned person that says that is a terrorist that hates democracy.
>>
>>26514797

George W. Bush is not a Brit, no git!
>>
>>26514744
East Asians do the same

It's cultural among those who value community and respect their elders
>>
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>>26514519
Turkroaches can have the fat white roasties.
>>
>>26514744
Auntie and Uncle is any older man or woman who you aren't related to, because pakis will mooch off literally anyone the same colour as them and these aunties & uncles will just go with it. There's a paki woman in work in her mid 40s that does this and she's constantly bringing in food for the other pakis and gets nothing in return except shat on when she tries to boss them around.
>>
My boney Fingers can't fund tidr
>seen the light lords
>http://youtu.be/3_mpk6NtX3o
>met Jesus F Christ on Top Cat last night
>the old cunt couldn't get his ankle upto web cam level I laughed
>abs day again but don't do it while driving
>literal car crash lads
took a pic of a dropped tear, but still haven't told one you won't of already heard
>unless your deaf
> and read that shit
>>
>>26514534
Mate???

Original comment

>>26514582
>>
>>26514899
was cooking some pasta

alri so when do ya wanna meet then?
>>
>>26512040
my work has a pair of downies come in once a week for some reason, arranged by their care workers probably to show that they can be members of society too.
They spend half an hour fucking up whatever task they get given then go on lunch for an hour and a half before going home.

They also go to the toilet every half hour at the most. Most of the time you'll see one waiting for the other to come out of the bog so they can use it. And they fucking always have fish for lunch, which they microwave so it stinks the place out
>>
>>26509342
This album fucking sucks, autotune garbage.

Only track worth listening to more than once is No More Parties In LA. I'm a Madlib stan though.....
>>
>>26514894
Haha maybe uncle where's my other boot and laugh at the one I keep to myself
>unicorn UNIX form
>all doctors are science freaks
>this nuts bigger than the other two
>four knuckle prostate punch
>he does it 2 b
>paye wew
>>
Just drank a bottle of Doom Bar lads and I have to say it went down very nicely indeed, I would drink it all day if I didn't have a job to go to.

What should I get next time I go to Bargain Booze? I think the novelty of Banana Bread Beer(TM) is wearing thin.
>>
Lads how do films get away with letting young actresses dress so slutty?

I was watching skins and you see effy in just underwear yet the actress was only 15 at this point?
>>
>>26515178

Imagine if it turns out these posts are made by a real person and he says the same kind of things while sitting on the bus/queueing at the post office
>>
>>26515238
It's alreet for such a meme beer.

Speaking of meme beer, I've been drinking on called 'Proper Job' recently which was actually really fucking nice.
>>
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this photo made me laugh a lot

it looks horrific for some reason with the lighting and ass hair in the shadows, probably shouldn't of used flash

anyway, should i shave the leg hair on the side?

and how would i go about doing that?

would anyone like to do it for me and maybe some other stuff whilst you're there?
>>
>>26514339
I fucking hate Pakis me
>>
>>26515498
Absolutely disgusting lad at least spoiler that shit.
>>
>>26515344
Dk how desu

Maybe a body double, or lying about a body double.
>>
>>26515498
just shave your arsecrack, you don't need to do your legs unless you're going full fem mode
>>
>>26515344
It's in the name of art of creative expression or some bollocks, like you can take fully naked pics of actual kids if it's all arty farty and stuff.
>>
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Some absolute fucking degenerates on craigslist lads.
>>
>>26515607
that and 15 year old girls do sometimes walk around in their underwear (in private obviously)

so unless it's in a sexually provocative manner you can pass it off as just being representative of real life
>>
>>26515640
That means nothing to me.
Explain please?
>>
>>26515640
>degenerates
Sums up Peterborough really
>>
>>26515662
he's looking for someone underage

or under eighteen, which might as well be the same thing considering the relative age gap
>>
>>26515498

Is that a shorn scrotum?

It's quite breathtaking.
>>
>bong
>bong bong, bong bong bong.
>bong!
>>
>>26515662
25 y/o guy looking for under 18 boys to fug
>>
>>26515704
Nah Britain mate, its legal as long as they're 16+
Still wrong though.
Unless it's some 16 year old virgin tryna buy a girlfriend.
>>
>>26513621

I can't believe hardly anybody picked up on the hairless gentiles typo, I'm literally still chuckling at it now, this is the funniest thing I've seen for weeks.
>>
>>26515344
The Zionist media uses Sexual Bolshevism to undermine western society.
>>
>>26515707
yeah, you should see the whole thing mate it looks and feels incredible..i'd defiantly recommend doing it

might fuck a whore of adultwork i'm feeling so confident about my meat and veg
>>
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SOLVED THE 'UNCLE' QUESTION LADS

Craigslist is a solid bet when you're in need of keks or cocks or cucks
>>
>>26515744
kek, glad my dislexia could make you laugh so much mate
>>
>>26515640
I'm calling 101, can't wait to see him being arrested on the news
>>
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>>26506120
I miss the classic /brit/feel OP pics

These are giving me to many feels
>>
I can imagine breaking into her house, raping her and burning the place down

Every night
>>
>>26515782
It's legal SENPAI
>>
>>26515078
How bout 8 tomorrow, Devonshire arms? I'm poor af but it'll be nice to have a pint or two w you
>>
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I really liked Yeezus, will I like Pablo?

I heard about 30 seconds of Fade too and I liked it
>>
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Drops tomorow lads
>>
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>>26516063
>still playing halo after 3

ODST was alright but apart from that, it's been a joke.
>>
>>26515640
I did craigslist 3 years ago when I was a mentalist. Ended up getting shitfaced when the realization of what I was doing kicked in
>>
>>26516063
good lad, looking forward to oddball and assualt too

wanna play some octagon while the arena servers are down m8?
>>
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>>26516063
White lass = you.
Black guy = Jewish agenda.

And you're just lying there and taking it.
>>
>>26516105
The servers are down?
>>
>>26516095
I have 3 questions:

1. Are you no longer a mentalist? If you answer no, please explain how and why you stopped being one.
2. Did you ever actually meet anyone off it?
3. You make it sound as though getting shitfaced isn't a regular ocurrence for you; why is this?

Thanks for your cooperation.
>>
>>26516143
>And you're just lying there and taking it.

if only
>>
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gonna empty my pissbottles out of the window later on tonight when everyone's asleep

please ridicule and mock me so i realise how disgusting this lazy habit is.
>>
>>26516196
That's so grim m9
>>
>>26516150
The servers are down?

yep, the arena ones are

octagon?
>>
>>26516196
just piss in the toilet lad
>>
>>26516196
Find where the local bums hang out and drink and leave them there.
>>
>>26516221
Nah I hate it sskepta.

Sorry, maybe some other time.
>>
>>26516196
Dump them out in the toilet. No one's going to question if a bathroom smells like piss.
>>
>>26515784
same these are so grim
>>
>>26516258
np m8

oceeeeeeee
>>
>>26516298
Oceeee?
What's that mean?

And was I right? Sskepta?
>>
>>26516196
Nice collection and consistent colour. You use wine bottles?
>>
>>26516401
Are you a retard?

oceeeeeeee
>>
>>26516428
Calling me a retard yet naming yourself Sskepta?
>>
>>26516455
perhaps he is merely a grime enthusiast
>>
>>26516473
Skepta is shit though.
Also robots only listen to Beethoven, everyone knows that.
>>
>>26516063
>Not playing Digimon Cyber Sleuth
>>
>>26516401
OC just for an original comment so the robot doesn't fuck me

and yeah you were, i forgot your tag but if you ever wanna play just message me saying you're the guy from r9k and i'll join
>>
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>>26515911
I really like Yeezus and I'm finding TLOP pretty enjoyable.
>>
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>>26507216
>on the cross
my god im fucking dying here mate
>>
>>26516506
Nah I'm not him. I don't think so anyway.
I remember seeing you post your gt before when talking to someone else.
>>
>>26516576
>11 hours ago

nigga
>>
Azulad the lightweight, can handle the alcohol about as well as azusa herself.
>>
>>26515784
agreed, these new ones are a bit much
>>
>>26516605

Why are you lads up so late, don't you have school tomorrow?
>>
>>26516411
they're water bottles and i literally only drink water, nothing else that's why they're so consistent

>>26516269
effort
>>26516239
effort
>>26516220
i know
>>
>>26516671
Get off my forums mum. I can do what I want.
>>
>>26506120

I woke up today with really, really sweaty balls lads. What the fuck? I can't say how much liquid there is but fuck me its a lot and it kind of smells, what is wrong with me?
>>
>>26516595
>11 hours ago

it was 9 hours ago you absolute madman
>>
>>26515878
how do i know you'll turn up and i won't just waste my petrol/time though? also i don't know what you look like and vice-versa although probably wouldn't be hard to spot each other
>>
Just met the one
>>
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Where should I get a job?

I'm unmotivated as shit and these 30 minute tests to work in fucking greggs are killing me. Isn't there a place where I can drop in my CV or phone a chap who NEEDS me?

Post good robot jobs.
>>
>>26517217
what are your skills?
>>
>>26517238
I can work a cash register.

That's it.
>>
New thread
original comment
>>
>>26517254
Then nope, you'll have to sit through the 30 minute tests.
>>
>>26516936
I'm a greaser which means I'll be wearing a leather jacket and a white tee, and I'm pretty small tbqh senpai

You probably think I'm a massive faggot, oh well I'm still up for it
>>
>>26506857
Literally best waifu. Flat is justice.
>>
new thread desu
>>
Dad tried to get poleaboo to look for jobs again
>>
>>26516186
Not a mentalist no. Just depressed

I don't know how I stopped.

Yes I did meet someone off it, and I got shitfaced at his house because I couldn't go through with it

I've been drunk 3x in my life. That night in particularly made me a tee-totaller. Can't even sniff alcohol anymore without gagging
>>
>>26517217
>Where should I get a job?
>I can work a cash register.

kek you act like you can choose.
>>
I present to you a new thread my good lads

>>26517480
>>26517480
>>26517480
>>
>>26517453
Why do you always talk in third person? Are you fucking autistic or something?