any plans for today my good lads edition
might go visit azulad and have a romantic meal.
/oxford/lads, when are we meeting up for a beer?
I'm fucking serious.
So lads I need some advice. Had one relationship that ended on fairly bad terms about 3 years ago with no contact from about 6 months after that.
I've been trying to find a way to contact her online but there's nothing except an old instagram with 3 posts from 200 weeks ago. I know where she used to live but she may also live at a different address in the same town which I've found through searching her parents. I want to get back into contact with her purely to catch up and see how she's doing with her life, also to apologise for being a cunt when/ after I broke up with her.
Tempted to drive there (60 miles) and see if she's there or if I can give her parents a message to give to her to see if she wants to catch up some time. Is this a bad idea? Getting pretty tempted to do it desu but I'm not sure.
He's camp little gay man
Only gives Poleaboo aggro for not using Universal JobMatch (all the adverts redirect you to apply via different sites, such as workcircle, so he can't check if it has been used or not)
You can if you want, I bought my last car at full asking price because it was exactly as described and already cheap.
Generally if you do, aim to get about 5 - 10% off the asking price. Say the car is up for two grand, offer 1600 and they will most likely meet you in the middle.
Buy on condition and history, mileage isn't really relevant.
I'm not some /lit/ faggot but sometimes books can be pretty amazing for describing feelings and moods. You don't really get that with tv shows or films.
>He wanted to be like a pennant, dependent on each gusting wind. The only thing that seemed valid to him was to live for the emotions, gratuitous and unstable, dying only to quicken again, dwindling and flaring without direction or purpose.
Speaks to me tbqh.
It's hard to truly judge how it's written as it's a translation from Japanese. The quality of writing is dependent on the skill of the translator and his grasp of both languages.
Spring Snow by Yukio Mishima
He's in the KEBAB shop
Absolute M A D M A N
Rung work to say I got a bad fever and can't work tonight, first time I've ever called in sick, literally can't do a 4 hour evening shift which nothing ever needs doing anyway, still got the whole oh are you sure you can't come in anyway blah fucking blah.
What a load of bollocks honestly lads
Well that was kind of my point to the store manager why risk going in and giving it to everyone else .
I'm young and pretty /fit/ , ( I lift and train the feels away rather than wank to anime and eat chocolate ) so I know in the next 24hrs it'll be gone
I really don't know how to go about this without coming off as a creepy stalker. I'm not interested in fucking her, just meeting up and having a chat or something.
My guilty conscience has also been nagging at me for the last couple of years.
I fucking hated that when i did those jobs. I was always the first person they called when someone else bailed on a shift.
They called me in before an A-level exam and when I said no, try someone else they waited 15 minutes and rang up again saying none else would do it.
They took a load of shifts off me after that because i messed up one order and one table got free pudding. I'd been working the bar, the restaurant and working as the kitchen porter all night on my own while the owner sat around and drank.
I doubt it, we took each others virginities and I was the one who broke of contact (she was talking to me for months after I dumped her). I ended up telling her to fuck off because I could see it wasn't good for either of us.
nuJ evoL I
An image of my waifu has been posted senpai~
>grandfather got banned from Asda for stealing
This cunt is nearly 70. It's not as though he's some old, frail, mentally ill old man either. He's completely sane and fully aware of what he is doing.
I remember working at a bar where the owner was a proper lazy cunt who bullied the staff. He would come in all the time and say "pull me a pint" before going off on one with one of the female staff members or one of the lads who were too scared to defend themselves.
Anyway after a while I used to sneak behind a little wall where some people would put their coats and I rubbed my bell end around the rim of the glass. I would then stash the glass behind the bar in a special place so that whenever he asked for a pint he'd get that one.
I dare say this happened about 15 times before I quit.
Hah, my grandfather got banned from a Sainsburys local for walking out with 6 cans of Strongbow.
When I asked him why he said "She was being a clever cow for no reason so I wasn't having any of it"
"Yeah but you stole those cans"
"Well I wasn't going to hang around and listen to her shit and I wasn't going to put them back either after making the trip"
The owners of the spot i worked ate and drank themselves out of 4000bong in profits in a year.
Treated the staff like servants. I believe after i left the angry glaswegian chef stormed out in the middle of a wedding
The difference is now that I assume she's grown up as much as I have over that time.
Thing is I'm a poor as fuck student. I'm at home at the moment so if my parents give me more dosh than I'm expecting I'll do it this Wednesday hopefully. I'll report back with results. What'll probably happen is no one will be in or I'll get told to fuck off.
I'd recommend either a ford or a toyota unless you can afford something better like a tesla or volvo
>my ford mondeo lasted 235,000 miles
>currently drive a prius (dont hate) its at 90,000 and has never broken down, cheap to run and super reliable
>tesla is basically future if you can afford one then go for it
>volvo are probably the most reliable if you can get one
if you're early 20's, I'd recommend a ford focus/fiesta
source: i like cars more than women
(p.s prius haters are scum)
White bastard at the JobCentre told Poleaboo to take off his hood
Decent slag outside the building
Polish hag speaking loudly into her phone on the way home
Sister grassed him up to mum for posting on forums again
>Trying to wank off to an amateur video of a paki fucking some white girl
>The animal is really pounded her, gonna cum soon
>She moans 'Harder Rasheed'
>Lose boner from laughing
Fuck the lad ITT who calls everyone they don't like Rasheed.
No, I'm not a slut at all senpai. A slut would have posted pictures by now~
Sorry senpai, I'm DFC~
Why does your sister hold such a grudge against you?
If you drive it for reliability and/or comfort then that's fine. If you drive it because you think you're doing the environment a favour then you're fucking retarded.
The greenhouse gases created when manufacturing one of their batteries completely negates its low emissions. It's not an environmentally friendly car.
This came up on an image search so i'll assume its relevant.
Just got off the phone from the AA interview, I accidentally said I left a previous job because it was too much like a call centre so I'm probably fucked.
At least now I can start drinking.
Gonna go visit my brother and his wife and kids.
Also just been to TK Maxx to get a new jacket for work. Work at Maccas and my clothes stink so I've ruined a few good jackets I actually liked. Picked up a shitty crosshatch jacket for 20 quid so it's good... also spent the same on Timberland shades and now I regret it.
i would like to see the hat as well.
I don't get it. What's cucked about a guy who has a wife and kids at 30?
3 aren't his, and she's only preggers with his
I'm just going for pints and to brag I spent most of my pay on shit like clothes and video games while he spent his on kids and the house.
>tfw my pay is less than his and my rent is more than his too and I still have plenty of money to throw around.
>married with children, not even once.
>driving lesson at 11:30 tomorrow
>gonna have to either get up 2 hours before because it takes me forever to wake up or get up an hour before and crash
TOO FUCKING EARLY
Mates how easy is it to cancel a bank transfer?
my regular supplier of drugs (had 1k spent on him over the year) seems to have disappeared after a 100quid stash payment.
Can I simply call the bank and tell em I made a mistake or something? what's a good way of doing this shit.
>ring up bank
>I'd like to cancel a payment
>okay sir what is your name
>okay anon which payment
>to Mr D Dealer
>okay anon I have canceled that for you, is there anything else I can help you with
>sorry anon we do not provide that service
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content).
>That's just ridiculous.
>mfw I was mutted again
>mfw there's nothing you can said here without being mutted
It's designed to keep shitposters like you out, fuck off back to /int/.
How about you suck my ass clean, faggot.
joke's on you I'm not even argaytinian
>paying for drugs via bank transfer
You deserve to go to prison for being a complete idiot, as does he. What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?
Really though, if he has been caught then you're fucked anyway, the bank will give the police any info they want and you'll have to explain the transactions. Best get a story thought of now.
>need to go shopping
>put it off all day
>start getting really hungry
>decide to go for it
>see it's getting dark
Quiet day today, was hoping to spend a day without leaving the house but food situation is critical. Got some pasta but can't decide what to do with it and anything I choose is going to mean going to spasda.
>the police care about people buying drugs for recreational use
Yea mate, I'm sure they're going to set up a phone tap on him and everything to catch him the next time he tries to buy a ten bag of weed.
What's up, lads? Just dumped 60 quid on 1-3 day shipping onahole and onahole warmer.
I've never used one of these things before, but did a bit of research for placing the order. Was going to go with a "dick bully" lolinco but thought it'd be too tight despite me being only a bit above average length and maybe under average girth (not sure on that part).
Went with a big Rina
I've got like, 7 bottles of bad dragon cumlube still. Hope that stuff works.
You reckon customs are going to fuck me over? I got a 27 quid bill two weeks after my BD m/Chance and m/David got delivered a few months ago.
Lads, last nights sinday sesh got a bit too real.
>drinking with lads
>banter banter banter
>"anon wouldnt understand, hes never been woth a girl"
>bamter banter banter
It wasnt mentioned again and i feel its too late to pretend i have been woth a girl.
How did they know, dont wanna fo to next sundays sesh.
If it was porn, yeah. I mean, the packaging would need to be full on loli porn to fall under that classification.
Just to be safe I ticked the "remove packaging" option during checkout though.
Am I the only depressed robot here who is forced to work on a building site everyday around all the builders banter?
I just want to be left alone for fuck sake, its like being at school again, no qualified for anything else and being on JSA doesn't pay enough
Seriously just fucking end it
Ultralight Beam is one kanye's greatest choons but apart from real friends the rest of the album's just a 7/10 nothing GOAT
spasda was awful but now the ordeal is over.
Going to make pasta then get cosy in bed with the dog and watch lotr I think.
That's a good order, eventually I ended up with the R20 because I split the smaller ones. I was always fine with customs. And the guide does have everything you need.
>If I didn't have family who cared it'd already be over
I used to not want to do it because of my parents but I realised they never gave a fuck about me so why should I give a fuck now?
I'm sorry you feel that way mate, I'm sure they do care, in their own way
I know it would break my mum if I did it, I know how much the death of a loved one can destroy a person, its partly the reason I already feel this way
Literally on my way home from working construction, I'm the engineer though so thankfully don't have to do much manual labour.
The shite banter pisses me off, always asking how many birds I shagged last night.
>It's a weekday nigga
Also always being asked
>What you got there
When on break, suck your mum man I just wanna have lunch in peace.
I'm looking for a design job now though, so I can be inside warm and shitposting on here 9-5.
>don't really have enough money leftover to pay rent unless I go super cheap on my diet (like 50quid for 25 more days for someone who needs 3500-4k calories just to break even)
>fat paycheck next month, 1 day after rent day
Can I just tell the landlady 1 week in advance that I'll be a day late on payment because of unexpected expenses?
ive paid on time for 6 months already so i dont think shell bitch about it.
Whats everyone listening to?
not my fault these fucks gave me the wrong tax code.
looking forward to my fat 2k+ payslip next month tho, only 350 goes to rent too.
Also I'm god tier flip, not middle eastern. know my pronouns.
>carbs carbs carbs carbs
fuck that shit sucka, aldi's selling those premium 95% pork sausages for 3 quid a kilogram atm.
Also angus burgers for 1.75quid per 1k calories/100g brotein.
Cheap, but with my insane metabolism and unnatural gains it'll still cost 100-150quid a month.
I'd rather eat quality shit and lose a bit of pride.
I respect your opinion but this is one of the greatest albums ever made by our lord yeezus in my 0pinon senpai
Gonna get stoned later and listen to it.
Don't forget tuesday night at babylove, brother.
Seriously though, Oxford meetup when?
Email me at [email protected] if you're keen.
Also sorry to the two guys that I once drunkenly emailed from that account.
What are my chances of getting some 350's on the 19th?
I've wanted a pair since they were first released but I don't live anywhere even close to any shops that were stocking them and the online game is an absolute joke.
On the first couple colourways it seemed people over here had an easy time getting them from Adidas UK but I think now they've grown in popularity I won't stand a fucking chance. Cunts are just out to buy 20 pairs to resell.
People should just try and meet up causally more here imo. I'm in azulads room right now, just having a nice chill time.
Slim to nome bro.
>driving up to aberdeen on the 19th to cop a pair (hopefully) then home.
>tfw just copped a pair of adidas x raf simons stan smiths.
>tfw no one in my area knows raf.
>Mum used to make me sandwiches for school and I never used to eat them.
>I used to get told off so I started throwing them in the loft (my room is a loft conversion so there's a normal door to the loft).
>Fast forward ten years and I'm 24.
>I get a text from my Dad asking why there's shit loads of mouldy old sandwiches in the loft and do I want them for lunch because I'm an ungrateful sod.
Got a tiny bit bigger now tho.
#17 inch arms
[ ] not a qt
I'd love cuddles but I'm not really cute enough for anyone
2 dilemmas plague me this evening lads:
1. A girl messaged me to say she wishes she were here (in the country, she's abroad). Do I say 'yeah it'd be nice having you around' OR ignore her.
2. The only way I can get drunk tonight is if I drink with my mum. I want to be drunk, but also alone, how can I best achieve this?
Your help is, as ever, appreciated.
>Guys and girls in work ask me why don't I have a gf
>Tell me I have a well paying job, nice car and a house so it should be easy
It's nice to be told women will only want to be with you for your material possessions. It's like they want me to be some girls beta bux, probably a girl who spent her uni years "having fun".
Seeing as you guys live-post about it without fail at multiple times during I can only imagine how boring/terrible it is.
>sometimes books can be pretty amazing for describing feelings and moods
>The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was.
>with more women at uni than men how does that work out?
I'm curious to know the reason as well, as it's definitely not possible that one male can copulate with multiple, different females
something along these lines,
>Just to be safe I ticked the "remove packaging" option during checkout though
You do realise that means they send instructions that customs can remove the packaging to do a more thorough investigation?
The 80/20 rule. 80% of women fuck 20% of men. If you're not part of that top 20% of men...better luck in your next life.
the two girls at the bottom are lesbians, but what about her at the top?
So long as you don't smoke and don't drink too much it's pretty safe, also if you're on spiro don't have too many bananas
it's safer then most antidepressants
I used to think this was some meme but I've confirmed it with several pissed up girls who didn't give a shit. They told me they'd gladly wait a few months of no sex just to spend one night with a top alpha and they don't mind being #48 on his list of girls to shag.
>go to Bargain Booze
>no Hobgoblin in
>ask the man
>he tells me they forgot to deliver it but he ordered 4 crates in for me this week and they will be in tomorrow
I want to get drunk tonight though, not tomorrow.
Had to get a variety selection instead. I got
>2x Greene King IPA reserve
>2x Wychwood Imperial Red
>2x Waggle Dance by Wells
>1x Old Empire IPA
>1x Banana Bread Beer
Will of course start with the Banana Bread Beer, hopefully I can find something else very enjoyable among this bunch.
I applied for a night time position in a petrol station once, but they never got back to me so I took a normie job in a bank. Then like a month later the bloke rang me up for an interview but I was already settled at the bank.
Would love to work there though. Just sit around all night on your laptop serving a handful of people through the glass and doing random odd jobs around the place.
Most petrol stations close the doors but keep you manning the kiosk window, you'll spend the night alternating being bored and trying to work out what drunk retards want you to find on the shelves and bring to them.
now i'm shaving my balls, luckily my sack has tightened up from being out of the shower naked so long and getting a bit cold.
still undecided on whether i'll shave all my pubes too, depend on how much it'll sting.
>silent for ages
>I accidently make a loud noise
>neighbour makes a louder one by banging on the wall
>not sure if I'm paranoid so wait a bit and make the noise again
>neighbour bangs twice even louder
I hate those fucking old cunts
He's a parrotlet. Basically a mini parrot.
Cost me 25 bong, so not expensive. He has a huge cage though.
You have to give them tons of attention because they're very smart, social animals. If not, they get stressed and start pulling all their feathers out.
You have to clean up after them shitting. So if you've got them out of the cage expect them to shit a lot and always have to clean it up
I was meant to go see them in Bristol but I forgot. I can't remember how much the tickets were but it was more than 18 quid. I didn't realise I'd forgotten until someone at work mentioned it and I remembered I had a ticket at home. The short answer is that I don't know.
Not even fat mate. Pic I posted other day
>Break up with gf Saturday
>Pretty grim sunday, don't leave bed until 5pm as I'm hungover
>Goto work today
>About half 10 a delivery arrives, strangely petite girl driving this huge van
>Lithuanian accent, my gf was Romanian and I have a thing for these accents.
>Muster up the courage to ask if she's seeing anyone
>She says no and is blushing but I don't really close the deal
>Eventually we laugh at the situation, I sign her sheet and go on about my day
>She's taken my name from the sheet and has just messaged me on fb
>Asks where I work to make sure it's me
>Now asked if I remember her
what the fuck, brobots
I'll post pic soon maybe
desu this is freaking me out
I was bricking it when I asked
My gf was basically as autistic with this stuff as I am.
Why won't my dog chew bones? He's had a trotter and a big, tough chew bone for a week now and he just carries them around a licks them.
He's like 7 years old but his teeth are all fine. Still really white and healthy.
You should try an actual pig femur. My dog doesn't like normal bones but she won't move for 6 hours if we give her one of those. Just from a butcher or something. They kinda stink though.
reposting with the picture the right way up.
not sure whether to now trim my tummy hair now after shaving my pubes and ballsack
it kind of looks silly just having a line where the hair stops but if i shave that then i might then want to shave all my chest hair off.
then what about my leg hair, that looks silly too the hair next to my silky smooth ballsack.
where does it stop? will i have to shave off every hair on my body to end this madness?
>his teeth are all fine
I'm taking one of my dogs to have his teeth checked tomorrow, they're going to have to anaesthetise him to do it. Unless you've been through that already you can't know for sure there's nothing wrong with his teeth.
where should i draw the line though, tummy or chest? and what about the leg hair, that looks sort of out of place compared to my ballsack
make your minds up; reeeeee
but i don't have a bf ;_;
plan on waking up earlier tomorrow with a fag and a coffee and getting shit done
either that or play vidya all day :L
>tfw given up smoking
I envy you, bro, I really do.
my dog does this, she figures bones are too much effort for so little reward. she prefers smaller manegable snacks.
get it some denta sticks. it can chew em and theyre good for its teeth.
>tfw kind of alright but not amazing but happy with it nonetheless since it could be worse
Just entered the Pot noodle raffle thing, so you chucklefucks best keep out because I'm going to win, I can feel it.
but that's the way evolution works
the females all pick the most 'desirable' male while the others get fuck all
marriage and by extension the church made it so everyone got a go
1. church stopped evolution
2. church would have got me laid
3. its a shame the 'desirables' of today are fags
>Someone sum up /britfeel/ for me please.
It's basically pic related most threads.
good lad, just make sure to upload a video to mega
so I can watch but pls shave
I don't know I mean I have friends but I'm pretty eccentric, and recently pretty much lost all my friends along with my ex- so I'm on my way to becoming a NEET rn tbqh senpai- but I still go out and am up for meeting new people
strawberry cornetto, pretty please boss
We all joke about meeting up for a gangbang with tilde. But if you had a 1to1 meeting with him would you
sniff his pits
lick his boypuss
ravage his boypuss
suck his tiny girlcock
piss on him
gag him with your dick
take pictures and share with your good friends on /britfeel/
And where would you cum?
>sniff his pits
>lick his boypuss
>ravage his boypuss
>suck his tiny girlcock
>piss on him
>gag him with your dick
>take pictures and share with your good friends on /britfeel/
it feels better fapping smooth anyway, just do it
Thanks, you can win a grand.
Money is probably better spent on actual lotto tickets but I already buy pot noodles anyway so might as well try.
Don't touch that shit nigga
Best ones are Dawkins vs Islam or Milo vs Feminism. Oh and Hitchens vs The World. Anything else and I turn it off. I like to take my Sunday morning run between Marr and the Sunday Politics so I often miss it anyway.
Don't be a fool.
I spoke to an Indian in our Milton Keynes office the other day and thought I'd dialled the wrong number because we have offices in India too. He sounded Indian to start with but then went into that faux black gangster thing you people do.
>"Have I got through to Trivandrum?"
>"Nah mate, I'm in Milton Keynes!"
I watched Milo vs Feminism and I thought he could have done a lot better than he did. It would help if they had someone on the opposing side who wasn't a smug cock. It just descended into anarchy which is a shame because those hysterical women could have easily been BTFO
The guy in this just posted it and I'm not sure how it makes me feel
How the fuck do supermarkets make money on canned fish?
Cost me 40p for a can of sardines with like 12 of those little shits in. They've got to get the fish, make the container and put the oil into the container. Oil that goes straight down the drain.
How do they do that shit.
No need to get triggered. It's not racist if it's true "bruv."
The ginger woman with the glasses? Yes I agree. I was thinking of an earlier show. I agree he can be over the top sometimes but I enjoy people's expressions when they get verbally bitch slapped so it's worth it.
Turkroaches can have the fat white roasties.
Auntie and Uncle is any older man or woman who you aren't related to, because pakis will mooch off literally anyone the same colour as them and these aunties & uncles will just go with it. There's a paki woman in work in her mid 40s that does this and she's constantly bringing in food for the other pakis and gets nothing in return except shat on when she tries to boss them around.
My boney Fingers can't fund tidr
>seen the light lords
>met Jesus F Christ on Top Cat last night
>the old cunt couldn't get his ankle upto web cam level I laughed
>abs day again but don't do it while driving
>literal car crash lads
took a pic of a dropped tear, but still haven't told one you won't of already heard
>unless your deaf
read that shit
my work has a pair of downies come in once a week for some reason, arranged by their care workers probably to show that they can be members of society too.
They spend half an hour fucking up whatever task they get given then go on lunch for an hour and a half before going home.
They also go to the toilet every half hour at the most. Most of the time you'll see one waiting for the other to come out of the bog so they can use it. And they fucking always have fish for lunch, which they microwave so it stinks the place out
Haha maybe uncle where's my other boot and laugh at the one I keep to myself
>unicorn UNIX form
>all doctors are science freaks
>this nuts bigger than the other two
>four knuckle prostate punch
>he does it 2 b
Just drank a bottle of Doom Bar lads and I have to say it went down very nicely indeed, I would drink it all day if I didn't have a job to go to.
What should I get next time I go to Bargain Booze? I think the novelty of Banana Bread Beer(TM) is wearing thin.
this photo made me laugh a lot
it looks horrific for some reason with the lighting and ass hair in the shadows, probably shouldn't of used flash
anyway, should i shave the leg hair on the side?
and how would i go about doing that?
would anyone like to do it for me and maybe some other stuff whilst you're there?
that and 15 year old girls do sometimes walk around in their underwear (in private obviously)
so unless it's in a sexually provocative manner you can pass it off as just being representative of real life
yeah, you should see the whole thing mate it looks and feels incredible..i'd defiantly recommend doing it
might fuck a whore of adultwork i'm feeling so confident about my meat and veg
SOLVED THE 'UNCLE' QUESTION LADS
Craigslist is a solid bet when you're in need of keks or
cocks or cucks
I miss the classic /brit/feel OP pics
These are giving me to many feels
I really liked Yeezus, will I like Pablo?
I heard about 30 seconds of Fade too and
I liked it
>still playing halo after 3
ODST was alright but apart from that, it's been a joke.
White lass = you.
Black guy = Jewish agenda.
And you're just lying there and taking it.
I have 3 questions:
1. Are you no longer a mentalist? If you answer no, please explain how and why you stopped being one.
2. Did you ever actually meet anyone off it?
3. You make it sound as though getting shitfaced isn't a regular ocurrence for you; why is this?
Thanks for your cooperation.
gonna empty my pissbottles out of the window later on tonight when everyone's asleep
please ridicule and mock me so i realise how disgusting this lazy habit is.
OC just for an original comment so the robot doesn't fuck me
and yeah you were, i forgot your tag but if you ever wanna play just message me saying you're the guy from r9k and i'll join
I really like Yeezus and I'm finding TLOP pretty enjoyable.
>on the cross
my god im fucking dying here mate
how do i know you'll turn up and i won't just waste my petrol/time though? also i don't know what you look like and vice-versa although probably wouldn't be hard to spot each other
Where should I get a job?
I'm unmotivated as shit and these 30 minute tests to work in fucking greggs are killing me. Isn't there a place where I can drop in my CV or phone a chap who NEEDS me?
Post good robot jobs.
Literally best waifu. Flat is justice.
Not a mentalist no. Just depressed
I don't know how I stopped.
Yes I did meet someone off it, and I got shitfaced at his house because I couldn't go through with it
I've been drunk 3x in my life. That night in particularly made me a tee-totaller. Can't even sniff alcohol anymore without gagging