>>26482463 I literally spend every day on an arm chair, picking at my acne scarred face, playing video games and gaining weight for the past 6 months with absolutely no welfare or pogey and a credit card bill that is roughly at a $900 minimum pay and have 2.7k to pay off.
After losing my job I sunk into a depression and secluded myself from my "peers", barely communicate with my mother (who I live with, not paying rent because I'm a piece of shit who is waiting to be told to pay rent) and not looking for employment.
But I think today I'm going to apply somewhere online and hopefully if there's time to go back to school, to reapply online somewhere so I can get back on my feet.
I slipped and I have an escapist personality where I legitimately think that if I don't do anything, nothing bad can happen. After typing this out, and I know that in a hour or so my opinion will change and I will continue doing what I've been doing for half a year.
I went to my work's happy hour on Friday for a manager that was leaving. He's at least the 10th person to leave in the year and a half I've been working there (around the time our company was bought out).
Just feels weird. I'm used to leaving people, not used to being left behind.
Terrible. All I have in this world are my parents. I've lost all my friends. I'm too autistic to get a girlfriend. Every girl I've ever talked to or approached has flat out rejected me. I chose a shitty major and I haven't been working hard at all in school. Depression and substance abuse are dragging me down, down, down...my parents are extremely worried about me and so is my therapist, but I can't change. It's impossible. So I keep drinking robitussin and smoking weed and I keep numbing myself to hellish reality of my situation. I'm gonna be 22 in a couple of months, and that terrifies me. There are 22 year old guys out there who are fucking CEO's of companies for christ's sake, and I've never had a real job before, I still live in my parent's basement, and I'm still drinking cough syrup like a fucking high school kid.
>>26483797 I'd take a 'boring' happy and productive life over being a self hating NEET anyday of the week. Tell me what are you up to in your life? >>26483829 >self esteem Compared to the average r9k'er not at all. I have friends to go to when I need help and advice anyway.
>>26483859 I wouldn't, I know for a fact I don't want my life to be boring Not much, its summer vacations here so I have been lazy this far but I already got my professor calling and asking when to set my new class so I guess I start the grind again this week. I started counting calories and I already lost a decent amount of weight I guess
>>26483899 >counting calories Just lift and do some cardio, you can get /fit/ instead of just thinner. Your life sounds no different then mine except possibly the having friends part, and the lifting part.
>>26483958 No, that's just my Sunday I guess. I'm always trying new things even if most times its from the comfort of my home. I have a bad knee so I can't really lift or do cardio, I was looking into swimming since I live close to some pools but I have to check with a doctor first I make friends easy too but I cut contact all the time, I don't want friends I want to be good enough at what I do to get colleagues
>>26483595 I lost my job a while back and turning into you is my biggest fear. Tomorrow starts week four of being NEET and I still haven't pushed myself towards seriously applying for jobs. I have a ton of money saved up so I'm not worried about my finances, but the longer I wait the less desirable I'll be to employers.
>>26484031 >colleagues Not the same as friends. Maybe you just don't want emotional connections. >bad knee sucks bro, I screwed up my feet with extensor tendonitis before, I can still walk at least 3 miles a day though but I don't do 6 like I used too, instead I lift 4 times a week and do flutter kicks. I'd go insane if I couldn't lift, that and get drunk once or twice a week.
>>26484330 My knee is probably only going to get worse tho, I will definitely need surgery one day for it. I should have gone to the doctor when it started making these craking sounds and hurting, I know now its arthritis but nonidea how developed it is so I'm afraid of doing much. I mostly want what my uncle has an office and a couple of guys that shoe up to work with me from time to time and have lunch with me and come to my birthday. I already have a best friend that I can be really faggy with and speak with him all night and shit I don't need two
>>26482463 My mom died on Valentines day like 15 years ago. Never had girlfriend but had some girl taht sheated her boyfriend with me and i fucked her like 5 times 4 years ago (she gave me like 5 blowjobs to). Didn't get laid again.
>>26484364 I don't understand how people can hate crowded public places. Sure if you fuck something up people will notice and either snicker or glance, but why should you fucking care? You don't know them and will most likely never see them again.
Living in a small town when everyone knows each other is fucking suffering.
>>26484408 >don't need two. Fair enough. I had a friend for about 10 years or so who I dropped after he went redpilled and would get agressive when he was drunk. His life went down the toilet and he was mad 24/7 basically. Lesson learnt make at least a few friends. Don't have to keep them all forever. I just drop friends when they become shitty nowadays. Have a couple but want to make some more. Also want a gf but I need to go to more social clubs etc to find one. Long term goal I guess. >>26484410 Sorry to hear it breh. I'm gonna get drunk and watch welcome to the nhk. One of my friends went home for the weekend the other is busy doing normie things possibly with one of his 3 gf's. Don't get me started on that. You'd think one would be enough. >>26484422 I went to the cafteria alone for brunch (technically lunch time but whatever they call it brunch) and I didn't like it much. I usually meet a friend group there. I'm an introvert so I can deal in situations like that I'd rather just not have too. I do fine in class etc though. Just crowds and parties with people I don't know I'm not a fan of.
>>26484647 I forgot what this feel was like. Felt it in the cafteria somewhat. It's just social anxiety manifesting itself. It's a part of me can't change that but it doesn't stop me from making friends.
>my parents are extremely worried about me and so is my therapist, but I can't change. It's impossible. >I can't change. It's impossible. >I can't change.
No. Fuck you! You're choosing not to change! You're lucky enough to have parents who support you and access to a therapist! You have every resource available to change! You're choosing not to. Your parents love you enough to take care of you but you're just using it as an excuse not to do anything for yourself. Your biggest flaw isn't your inability to change - it's that you're too much of a coward to do it.
>>26484174 >>26483595 I lost my job this Thursday and the depression and self loathing is slowly seeping in. Haven't even told my parents yet whom our relationship is already pretty strained. I'm really scared of losing all my motivation and becoming a fat fuccboi again.
>watching old game trailers >looked up the halo3 theme on YouTube and feel sick >back then I had one friend to play the game with after school >that game is almost 10 years old now >10 years before halo3 came out Mario 64 was released >I've wasted so many years >I'm now 25 and nothing to show for it >gonna be 26 in a few months >than 30 is right around the corner
Had a meltdown yesterday. Mom took me to the doctor and I got prescribed some fast-acting Xanax. I'm finally breaking down and I'm gonna use what little PTO I have from work to see a psychiatrist. Also I was supposed to play Parhfinder with some friends today for some much-needed social contact, but one member's gf got too high on dabs and got sick, so we're on our way out without having played at all. I don't know if I'm going to sleep, fap or watch Netflix when I get home.
>>26483627 I've been lifting for 3 years, but I'm not an abnoxious faggot about it. You sound like you've been at it for 3 months or less, just got your noob gains and you think you're the shit. Word of advice: lifting doesn't make you less autistic, as evidenced by you posting anime pictures on an imageboard.
I'm an agoraphobe who goes outside about three or four times per year, and thats only to visit the doctor to renew my prescriptions for psych meds, which my mom picks up.
Besides that, I spend my days playing vidya and watching animu when I'm not shitposting.
The only thing in life that makes me happy is the escapism of the internet, and if I ever were to lose that I would blow my brains out with my dad's revolver. Not saying I haven't attempted suicide before, I have and ended up in the psych ward for two weeks because of it. That was just cutting though, useless shit that rarely works. I don't know why I bothered. I was in the middle of a panic attack and it happened all of a sudden.
My parents are thinking about moving across the country to New Mexico (from Virginia) and I don't know how I'll handle that. I can't even go outside without having a panic attack, moving across the country sounds impossible.
>>26485403 >>26485503 Not him but >feel like I need to cry all the time >can never bring myself to do it >hate myself even more because of it >feel like my 'issues' are just a character fault and I'm blowing shit up too much
I'm just trying to hold onto anything I can use as a scapegoat for how fucked my future is.
i think ill never be able to overcome my anxiety every social encounter and i have shit on my feces why god made me like this. also i had pretty horrible life to put it lightly. im 25 years old and never had a gf, been in few jobs here and there but nothing special all i want is this world to burn into ashes so i can re-live my life again assuming reincarnation is a thing
im such a people hater i don't think ill be able to have any more friends again, i really really hate people and rightfully so, every person can just walk up to you and say whatever the fuck he wants without any consequences so i really really want the world to bomb in some nuclear holocaust because we really deserve it. we really truly honestly deserve it
I'm not. My distractions dwindled to the point where I just randomly keep falling asleep today. It's 9 PM and I just woke up from my fourth nap today. Right now, someone is with the person I would have liked to at least have spoken to today, at least one time. At least they're probably enjoying themselves. I'm really tired, I think I need another nap
>spending Valentines at home watching Game Grumps and playing video games >Date Grumps is one of them with his wife >Single Train is two of them talking about previous relationships I can't relate with either of these things.
>get in my friend's snapchad >some girl replies talking about how handsome I am >this would make most people's day >for me, it just makes me wonder how mentally and emotionally fucked up i am to be this handsome but still be a kv who never had a gf Looks literally aren't anything brobots
I'm failing some of my college classes, and I'm extremely anti-social.
I wake up every day wanting to kill myself.
I no longer have any real life relationships. A few days ago my best friend from elementary school messaged me on facebook. I was pretty close to finger banging, but she wasn't really interested. She won't respond to my texts, and so I'm basically just the pls respond guy, and I decided to just stop talking to her to spare me from the rejection.
I'm poor, and living with my mother. I have been looking at getting a job, but I'm not really sure how to work a job into my school schedule.
I'm super fucking lazy, and I need to study more. I feel like I want a girl in my life, but at the same time I can't really take care of myself.
I have just been drowning myself in drugs, and I'm just hopeful things will work out.
not really a story just a cluster of thoughts, and I'm sure some of you can relate.
you're too retarded to ever understand the pain of never being able to not be alone no matter what you do. one day pussy will throw itself at you and you'll be too retarded to know how to say no and boom all your "problems" fixed themselves
>>26482463 really bad, anon. I recently switched AD medication multiple times within the space of 2 weeks and simultaneously did loads of drinking and taking drugs, just generally getting fucked up to deal with it, and now my brain feels like it has actually melted and im going mad on a sunday night.
went to a killer party on friday though, maddest thing ive ever been to.met a real cute girl who i will never see again which sucked
Drinking some beers, watching Workaholics, browsing a dating site. Dating sites are bullshit man, I've been on this shit for a few days now and only got 3 likes, one ugly chicks and 2 dudes. One of the dudes does look okay though not that I'm gay, but makes me feel better about myself you know.
>>26482463 Gonna interview at a warehouse tmrw morning. Its gonna be hard work compared to the security jobs I've been doing for years but it'll be 13.50/hr vs 10.00/hr. It'll get me out of my rut and the 3.50 extra would work out to be 6k more a year. It would be the difference of my current rent being roughly 40% of my Income to like 20%.
Just hope I can do it. My back is kinda fucked up from a life of sitting
>>26488908 You are worse than those bar sluts you are so desperate for attention you cling to the first person to call you a faggot. I bet if some guy tried to pick you up, any guy really you would let him fuck you just so he remembers your name for one night even if you are not gay at all
>>26489060 see that's the problem with trolls, they think they have special permission to banter whenever they feel like when other people tell them to turn around and simply walk away they go apeshit im having with fun with this, just like i would have fun putting constraints on a child that can't help but screaming all day
>>26489179 didn't i said you are absolutely amazing at saving face? im assuming you are older than 16 why you don't tell me the real reason why you are here and why are we having this conversation. if i had a dime for every faggot that started debating me without focusing on the subject of argument id be a millionaire by now
>>26486764 In the process of that right now, fight or flight kicks in and I want to die, cry, or do something about it all at the same time, I am probably going to kill myself actually, not even because of her I was planning it the whole time, jokes on her, or me.
>>26489515 you cant have enough of me can you? here is a special treat for you, my horoscope
Careful planning on your part is starting to pay off, Libra, but be careful that you don't alienate others in your quest to be the best. You may not realize how your harsh words affect the people around you. Be more sensitive to the feelings of others. Focus and be brave in your actions. Hesitation may cause you to lose control of the situation. Know your boundaries, but push beyond them.
>>26482463 >get drunk as usual on the 14th >going back to school tomorrow >20 years old >been seriously considering an hero for about two month >no job >no future >getting kicked out soon >going to buy another box of wine soon with the money i have left >running out of tobacco but i'd rather get drunk >have dreams about being with some females i know for the past couple of months >really want to end it >too scared and don't want mom who works her ass off so we can eat and have a roof over our heads to kill herself if i do so >arcanine has become way too active and filled with normalshits >massive amounts of newfriends on every board for some reason >been here since 2009, want off this ride and can't get off Pretty bad i'd say.
>didn't realize it was valentines day until I saw threads about it >doesn't make a difference, not going outside anyways >spend my day shitposting and watching anime >tfw loneliness is your default state of existence >no experience with being happy, so no expectation of it >tfw my dog is the only thing that makes me happy in life
>>26487149 dat sucks feel ya, don't give to yourself the sweet release anon, and if you gonna give it please do something that you want to do it but have afraid because it doesn't matter anymore right? be a mad robot for once
I failed out of college after last semester, work an easy low-pay job and have no friends and no girlfriend. I can't talk to people because I freeze up with anxiety on approaching someone and my social autism alienates anyone who would approach me. My brother cut contact with me. I just eat cereal, fast food, and peanut butter sandwiches because I have no energy or will to cook food when I get home or in the morning. I can't afford to go to the range any more, and I don't enjoy my old hobbies. The girl I like has no interest in me and lives 5 hours away, so obviously I'm doing nothing for Valentines but drowning in sorrows. My car got totaled, so I got a motorbike to ride the feels away on and finished the courses to ride it today, but my dad "helpfully" decided to "take it in for an oil change" but told the mechanics to do whatever else they want so he tells me today it's going to be a ~$700 bill for whatever they're doing (probably nothing). The place he took it to is unreliable as fuck based on reviews, and it won't be back until Tuesday. He gets mad at me for this because I don't trust a "certified mechanic" and his effective theft of my bike and now all this money.
I'm pretty tired of the endless new ways life comes up with to be complete bullshit. Just want to die, because anything I do to change always just makes things worse. Any tiny amount of self-confidence just leads to me shooting myself in the foot anyway.
>alone again on Valentine's Day because I'm so ugly that it's rare for people to even be nice to me >turn on jewtube to watch videos from one of the only accounts I like >he did a new video with his girlfriend Everything I enjoy is just a reminder that I'll never be loved.
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