It hurts and I'm trying to be very honest now. I really hate myself and what I am. I'm so tired of being utterly alone.
Do you think suicide is a viable option?
Cis female? How did that happen. Most cis girls seem to have it so easy. Like they look fine even without makeup.
I don't want any of those things. I want friends and a boyfriend who loves me.
>Cis female? How did that happen. Most cis girls seem to have it so easy. Like they look fine even without makeup.
ill take it that you're not a cis female cause thats a load of shit
makeup is very important to an ugly girl like me just like beards on fat dudes
Hey man I feel the same. I got no answers for you, but all I can say is that you should keep trying. Keep putting yourself out there, and it'll be soulcrushing at first, but all you need is one good experience to hold onto. Just one. There are genuinely good people out there, trust me.
Makeup is important. Okay. Sorry I'm trying not to be too bitter. You have your problems too I know, and life isn't easy for anyone.
It's so hard. Whatever "putting yourself out there" even means. I'm doing the super hard things. Or trying to. Kinda failing at it. My therapist says I should keep up with the positive thinking but the negative is so much more natural.
I just want a nice guy to notice me.
Thought about what? I was just as lonely back then. Not sure what point you're trying to make.
>it was just as hard as a man
Then transitioning did Jack shit for you
All those hormones
All that bullshit you put your family through
>all the ways you screwed up your body
Just for nothing
You know you could have put a fake smile gotten a job and a girl and at least made some other people happy since you obviously decided you didn't want happiness in this lifetime
But I did want happiness in this lifetime. and still do. It's part of why I transitioned. My life has improved after transitioning, but it doesn't take a whole lot to improve when you're drinking all the time and attempting suicide every few months.
Not really at all, I bet trans people are the loneliest people in the world, right up there with robots, only robots get to go outside once in a while to buy some grocery's and alcohol without getting judged by everyone in the street
I mean you failed, how do you even dress yourself no do you go to the streets looking like some creepy freak or do you go there dressed like some sissy fetichists?
Your life isn't better, your situation is the same or even worse, and I would bet is worse, your actions are the only thing that changed and you don't get to turn your life around with wishful thinking and sobriety.
I bet you thought you would never spend another Saturday night alone before transitioning but you are still here. Cognitive behavioral therapy is about deluding yourself into coping with your life not about believing you will get things that will never come
Well as a trans girl I still manage to work and do school. It's kind of horrible though. Completely obvious I'm trans. Some people are nice to me and a lot aren't. My older coworkers (like all of management) constantly misgender me and I just say nothing.
No things really were getting better for a while. I got a job and did some school. You don't know how bad I was before. It was a complete mess. My life. Everything.
Now I'm doing some things sometimes and I take better care of myself. But I still feel sad.
honestly I don't think it's that bad. it's a mistake and I want no part of it but it's not historically uncommon
>be completely unremarkable male
>get no validation from anyone for the legitimate effort you put in
>might as well try not being male
the logic is there even if it's retarded
Wtf are you talking about.
Why does it feel like no one comprehends the things I tell them, or they completely fuck up when responding to me?
I didn't become a girl because no one loved me. I just happen to be trans and it happened.
It's pretty obvious what happened tho
You got yourself your hormones, you got yourself your therapy and suddenly you had the little confidence you never got in your life
And you went ahead and got a job and you started school didn't you
And all you needed was some confidence
That's all, not transitioning, not any of this nonsense
And now that confidence is gone
And you are left with nothing more than yourself
The same yourself you were before transitioning because it obviously didn't change you, not in any significant way at least
Only you managed to make yourself even more undesirable
To everyone not just a potential lover
The hormones did make me more confident, yeah. My endo says that's one thing he looks for in trans patients after starting HRT. And of course I'm still me. Hormones aren't about becoming someone new. You'll always be yourself. I just don't understand why I'm depressed all the time and still think so much about killing myself.
How did I make myself more undesirable? I mean I did think it would be easier to find a guy after transitioning. It kinda seems impossible. But hopefully there's someone and i can find him. Maybe. I have to keep thinking positively if I ever want to get there I guess.
Being trans isn't actually a mental illness.
What conversation, the one where you slap your hands over your ears and pretend you aren't mentally ill?
I have a secret for you
You see all those Facebook posts of fat women or gay people or something like that that gets tons of support and love?
It all comes from women, every single reply and like
And you know why women do this so much?
Because it makes them feel good about themselves, not because they care about you at all, liking something takes ten seconds, helping someone may take a lifetime
Don't take any of those replys seriously, they don't care about you at all
You want the nice people back no? That's the niece people all together, they come, they leave a post and they go, they don't stay and talk to you, they got to feel better about themselves already.
There is no niece peoples just people like me
No you just said that you thought I expected a lot of things to go differently. It wasn't a question.
But yeah I did think it would be different. I thought it would be easier to pass, and I thought men would be into me more.
I really wish they wouldn't fucking do that.
It's their damned fault all these mentally ill people are warping their bodies and seeking genital mutilation.
A permanent solution to what can be a temporary problem.
You know what else is a permanent solution to a temporary problem?
It's appalling that this is allowed.
You are a little cunt and you are here out of spite.
You will stay here as long as I'm here or until you get bored just to prove a point
You have no intention on helping op out in the slightest
below average thread tbqh
you guys should try blackberry tea, it's pretty calming
I don't know. I wasn't thinking about it so much. Like I don't think I actually had the thought, "this is going to fix my depression!"
I just had a good feeling about taking the HRT. Knew it would improve my life but didn't think about specifics.
You know what I think, I think if you told your therapist you were going to stop feeling depressed and have suicidal thoughts by transitioning then he would have forbidden you from doing so and you know that. It's no wonder so many mtfs end up killing themselves
Well I never had those thoughts. It really was more of a subconscious thing. I wasn't planning on HRT fixing everything, I don't think.
I just thought this would all be easier now. Dealing with life. But I'm still here and it might kill me.
And part of it may have been the bf piece. Like I felt that once I was a girl and had my wonderful boyfriend life would make sense again and he would sorta be saving me from myself.
Not sure if any of this makes sense.
Well Billy, because of neurotic disorder comorbidity, many do.
What we can do for these lost souls is erase the parasitic T from lgbt and promote the correct psychiatric treatments.
But we can never date them. Because they're incapable of childbirth.