How can I make friends at my University so my roommate and his friends will stop making fun of me behind my back and I can stop wanting to kill them?
Please help. I recognize my inhibitions aren't novel so hopefully others can benefit from this thread as well.
To reward and entice replies I will be posting girls of both the cute and lewd varieties!
just try to find other people that chan, that's how I found my buddies
Join a club, share your hobbies and interests to branch out, you'll be surprised how easy it is
if you're really desperate, buy a pack of cigarettes and if your at a party or see someone else smoke, ask them for a light or offer them a cigarette
Cig talks are good ways to make connections with people, and if you give someone a cig for free, they like you instantly, and they have friends so you'll most likely befriend them too
just dont spill any spaghetti
I've tried that before. Joined debate and robotics club. Yielded no friendships and people routinely asked me why I even bothered showing up. They thought I hated them.
>find other people that chan
I don't know how to do that without spouting memes, which I'd rather not do, because I can't stand that sort of thing.
>join a club
I've already tried this.
And I don't smoke. Perhaps I'd drink, but I've never had anyone offer me one so I've never tried. Same goes for every other drug that wasn't strictly medicinal.
I used to be in debates. Debaters kinda suck t.bh f am.
I always recommend libraries. If you and another person like the same authors or books it's pretty easy to strike up conversations.
Or you could always compensate with online friends
>Did you try talking to other people
No, but I shouldn't have to. I groom and take care of myself and in public try my best to make myself seem approachable.
Given my inhibition, I ought not have to approach someone. Given that in every interaction, one person approaches while the other person is approached, realistically I'd be better suited waiting to be approached. It's not only practical for me, but logically fair too. There's a 50% chance that I have to approach someone, or something like that.
I go to a
party school.I've been to the library twice so far and people were either studying or using the computers, but I'll give it a shot.
How would you go about approaching someone in a library, though? Typically I'm even more reticent in that environment since, well, if you're in a library you probably want to focus, not be social.
It would be my pleasure.
You know, I used to compensate with online friends.
Either we just slowly stopped chatting after a couple of years or I put in much more than they did and I got tired of coaxing responses.
That said, I'd happily be your e-buddy, unty. But it'd probably last a week max, from past experience.
I'm usually just strolling around the stacks looking for new books to read. I like coming across books by accident but if someone looks open and friendly ill ask them if they have anything to recommend (especially if they're reading something I'm familiar with or like)
You can tell if they're open to conversation by the way they respond. If they don't wanna talk don't take it personally. Just chill and take it easy
Just Bee yourself senpai
I've had similar experiences trying to garner friends online, only in my case I was the one that left. I'd either get mad that being social was so much easier for them, or run out of things to talk about.
I appreciate the offer but I don't think it'd help much.
That sounds pretty easy honestly. Hopefully it's not too difficult in practice. Sounds like it has potential.
>approachable body language
I guess that's where I fault myself. I seldom smile, but in my own defense I don't know how and smiling when I'm not particularly happy just feels odd and contrived.
Thank you, bee-kun.
There's a lot to it.
Take this book, it's a good read.
...you sound like a tsundere. Not to go weeb on you but smile a little more, look people in the eyes and really show you're listening to them. Make the other person feel like they're the only one you want to talk to right now. Remember that human beings are very vain creatures and active listening is a high form of flattery to their existence. I.e. Make them feel good when they're talking to you and they'll keep coming back.
Thanks for the pdf, anon. I'll read through it.
I don't think I'm a tsundere at all. I'd smile if I knew how, and I'd spend more time learning how to smile if l looking at my face in the mirror didn't make me mad.
Everything else that you mention I do well, though. I used to have immense problems maintaining eye contact but I addressed those back in high school. I'm not someone who will turn to their phone or some other distraction mid-conversation. I think a general lack of emotional responsiveness is what hurts me the most.
Those girls are really cute, too bad their vaginas are worthless
It is genuinely possible that you just haven't met anyone you click with. Like finding significant others finding friends is a game of trial and error I suppose. And some of it is just dumb luck. I'd really like to help anon, but I'm certain the only way is to put yourself in situations where you'll meet larger groups of people and more varied groups in order to increase your chances. There might be online meetup groups in your area that you could join? Or try meeting people online in your area that you can meet irl later
I've tried meet-up before, before going to Uni. It wouldn't work in this area because it's a small community in the middle of the mountains.
Spring break is coming up soon, though. Think I can find something then? Or is the window too small?
Hmmm. I'm not sure unty, maybe? I'm not American so I'm not very familiar with spring break.
Bars aren't a good idea if you're alone. How about class? Try sitting next to someone who's alone and striking up a conversation? If you get along they might introduce you to more people.
Maybe if you see someone eating alone you could ask if you could sit with them.
It's all just situational I'd say
Has posting been terrible for anyone else in recent weeks?
It seems I've to constantly submit the same post several times because of stupid errors, especially posts with images.
This is getting ridiculous.
I like those ideas. Thank you.
There's this girl who routinely sits next to me in my American Lit course so I think I'll try talking to her.
I'll report back on Monday or Tuesday.
Do you hear yourself? It's overthinking like this that makes you unapproachable. Jesus Christ, stop thinking you're so cool and "approachable," because, obviously, it isn't working. Why the fuck else would you be posting on /r9k/ of all places?
You approach people for once. Trust me, I made the same mistake as you in high school, but just said fuck it and approached others in university. I've made a wealth of great friendships that way.