Embarrassing stories general

Top kek, you were born to be a cuck.

>>26469377
I have so many embarrassing stories, too many to type out desu.

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>"anon do you want a kiss?"
> get flustered
> IDSHABBEING.JBEG
>mfw

all the girls laughed at me and made fun of me for being alone

>>26469377
I'll make it short.

>Trapped in class finishing up test after school
>professor leaves to go to vending machine, puts me on honor system
>blowing through easymode test
>suddenly get the urge to poo in loo
>scared to leave classroom, professor said no pausing test
>poo becames too great to ignore
>stand up
>poo instantly peaks out of asshole
>reflexively tighten anus to grab it
>slice off a bit of poo into my underwear
>whimper and reach around tight private school khakis.
>located poo nugget and pull it out
>It's hard and black
>nervously pace back and forth classroom
>finally just walk over to class cactus plant
>dig into pebble silt, drop nugget in, bury it
>look down, notice shoelace is loose
>bend over and rest of shit exits asshole
>start crying at this point
>take off sock and fish poop out in broken pieces
>put pieces in sock and hold it away from myself
>classroom REEKS at this point
>professor comes back in and screams
>sees me holding poopsock and puked.

Test was delayed and that entire room was cleaned for two days.

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>>26470055
that's fuckin' hilarious dude

>>26470055
I knew early on to never trust girls when they say shit like this. Also how the fuck do they find that funny?

>>26470268
>be me
>go up to qt beta
> "hey do you want a kiss"
>beta gets nervous, starts looking around all shifty
>am secretly hoping he says yes because he's a qt
>actually holding bag of hershey's kisses

My plan failed. I just ended up giving him a chocolate and laughing it off, secretly wounded.

>>26470393
That's not really what I did though, I started blundering and getting really nervous and said "y-yeah"

I'm too autistic to live

>>26470261
Thanks, I always feel good man when I know I made someone laugh.

>>26470782
I know that feel anon. I'm a piece of shit who lives vicariously through the sexual exploits of my friends. Real people make me nervous and anxious

>>26469377
Nickelback? U deserved it

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>>26470874
I understand m8
Lately I've been trying to be more of a normie, except I'm not Chad. Instead grills like to tease me but I like it

> wow anon that's a nice drawing
>I didn't know you could draw so well
I don't think I'm that good but ok
> tell her thanks, be modest about it
> she pats me on the head
"Bye anon"
> mfw

>>26470949
You know what could work for you? Be this like qt that needs taking care of. Smile a lot, be a little derpy and use the drawings to your advantage. Girls like taking care of people. Godspeed you fucker

>>26470393
>be me
>hot guy (friend) I like comes up to me
>"hey anon, you're a kissless virgin, right?"
>"y-yeah"
>"I'll take your first kiss for $50"
>I pull $50 out of my wallet
>he looks at it, pauses, starts laughing and says
>"I didn't think you'd actually do that, sorry dude"
>he pats me on the back and walks away

i had a gf in runescape in 2005 but she ran off with a lvl 90 with full rune..fml

>>26471173
so you're the cartoon network faggot?

>>26470979
>>>26470949 (You)
>You know what could work for you? Be this like qt that needs taking care of. Smile a lot, be a little derpy and use the drawings to your advantage. Girls like taking care of people. Godspeed you fucker
Here's the thing though, I'm pretty sure I'm not qt. I'm like a 7 at best which is like a 2 for girls. Can I still make it?

>>26470055
>complaining about receiving free chocolate

wew

>>26471337
Bruh. Your drawings pull you up by 2. Identify your best features and flaunt them. Of course you have a chance! Especially if you're still in school. Hell if girls are talking to you, you have a chance. Trust me, just don't try too hard, and talk to them with a basic level of respect like you would anyone else and that's good enough

>>26469377
this brings back RS memories

>>26471188
>Implying there's something wrong with watching Cartoon Network

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>be me, aged 18
>going to public swimming pool to get into shape
>boring as hell, I go in the afternoon so it's only me, kids and old men
>decide I should do something funny
>go to shower when nobody's there and take massive poo on the ground
>run away.gif
>staff people find shit and blame kids
>next day kids' instructor stays in changing room all the time to ensure that no anonymous shitting happens
>after 5 days and no more poo, instructor stops controlling
>I do it again and also put all old people's briefs inside a guy's bag
>people start complaining to pool, news appear on local newspaper
>I feel like some twisted sick superhero
>Shit on the ground one more time
>as soon as my poo hits the shower ground, hear instructor yelling "So, here's our mysterious terrorist. Get out kid"
>instructor had been hiding in showers all the time that day
>fuckfuckfuck
>he starts knocking on shower's door
>don't want to get out, I don't say a word
>he insists and threatens to call security
>I get out
>I'm crying, already dead inside
>Beg him not to tell anybody, make up the fact I have Tourettes so I can't control these things
>he tells me it's ok, but I wasn't allowed to the pool anymore
>mfw everybody probably knows I was the shitter as I stopped going there and mysterious poo stopped appearing at the same time

>summer of 2013
>my friend just graduated high school, was free all summer
>invited me over to his house
>he was totally hitting on me
>i never had a bf before so i was super nervous and scared, so i pretended to play dumb
>tries to kiss me, brush it off
>go home that day weirded the fuck out by it all
>fast forward to almost 3 years later
>now i live almost every day in regret because of how i did that to him, possibly even hurt him
>he probably forgot about that day but i would like to apologize to him for ever treating him that way
>too fucking scared and shy to bring it up
I hate life.

>>26469377
> be me, 18 year old senior in high school
>fall hard for a virgin qt over the last 4 years, keep feelings secret for for 4 years.
>big School dance comes up, time to make my move.
>Girl who is her friend (and me friend I thought) asks me who I am taking to the dance.
> I tell her that I'm asking the qt after school, in an hour.
>"Oh don't do that anon, Chad is asking her next week"
> Well I'm asking her today, so Chad will be beaten to the punch.
> My plan was to ask her in front of a lot of people because she was too nice to shoot me down in front of a lot of people.
> girl I talked to tips her off, and she runs the hell out of school after the bell.
> I go home and drink for the first time ever to deal with feels, breaking into the stashes that my alcoholic father left behind when he died last summer
> use script kiddie skillz to get chad's phone number
> call and text chad drunk, begging him not to ask her
> he still does it
> get drunk again and threaten him over text
> next week get called down to the office
> Chad's parents read my texts and I'm in deep shit.
> I had perfect behavior and grades prior to this, and lost major face with school counselors and administration.
> the qt and chad hit it off after the dance
> they're on a date for Valentine's day tomorrow.
> alcoholism has taken another generation of my family
> and chad might take her virginity
> this went from embarrassing to sad, sorry.

>>26471731
Op said embarrassing stories not stories of how you missed out on being chads cumdump you stupid whore

>>26470254
lol anon that was funny

too bad it wasnt tru.
>>26471724
lol

>>26472130
>My plan was to ask her in front of a lot of people because she was too nice to shoot me down in front of a lot of people.

thats a fucking terrible idea.

>people born on 1995 are more than 20yo
Holy shit man

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Mfw reacting to this thread

>>26472252
I realize in hindsight that it was a bad idea.
I was too autistic and in love at the time to know.

>>26469377
I was about to call you underage but then it hit me that 2006 was a decade ago

I feel fucking old

>>26472204
Don't give a fuck nigga, stay mad lmao

>>26472316
In only a year most people born in 1999 will be 18. People born in 1999 and 2000 can already drive. In only a few years people born in this millennium will be able to legally drink. People born in 2001 can legally be employed. In only a few years people born within 1995-20003 will make up 15% of our workforce.