What's an easy way to get a lot of jail time without actually

>>26469110
>caring about hurting others

Give a hand-written note to your banker asking for all their money.

>>26469110
>>26469146
This is a good answer

Wanna talk with me? Brokenstrings89 on skype or brokenstrings899 on kik

>>26469110
buy some drugs just to show a policeman, this wasn't a difficult one

Buy some drugs
Ask a police officer if he would like to buy some

you could even just ask a cop where you could get some drugs and that could be considered solicitation

>>26469146
this is the correct answer.

bank tellers are trained to deal with robbers. just write your demands on a deposit slip, get your shit, and get out.
you don't have to hurt anyone and you don't even have to carry a weapon. you can even just sit down outside and wait for the cops to come once you've done the deed.
when you get to trial, you can plead guilty or not guilty depending on how long you want to serve. prison a la carte.

>>26469169
Talk about what? Low effort nonviolent crimes?

>>26469297
>bank tellers are trained to deal with robbers
No, we're not. I've been a cashier for over a year. I was just told to hit the big button under the desk and give them the money.

>>26469146
this OP

why do you want to go to jail though?
Are you hoping to go to jail or actual prison?

>>26469331
this is the training i mentioned. you hit the button and OP goes on his way.

>>26469331
That is "Dealing" with them. You get them the hell out of the building by just giving them what they want.

>>26469146
>>26469297
>>26469331
Check it out OP
http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/08/27/2535201/sick-oregon-man-robs-bank-dollar-health-care-jail/

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/nc-man-allegedly-robs-bank-health-care-jail/story?id=13887040

You'll even get a puff piece about it

>>26469341
Prison. I want to take up reading and exercise and make friends. Plus I'll come out of it with some cool stories.

>>26470099
>exercise
You'll be given the bare minimum of food if people don't take it, so you won't get in too good of shape.
>friends
Good luck on this one, it could be done, although you're a robot.
The rest checks out, have fun.

File: 1452109777820.png (25KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 400x400px

>>26470099
You realize they will just turn you into a rape slave right? They never give you enough food to gain weight and bigger guys will beat on you for your comissary.

OP, don't do this. If you're minimally close to a robot, you will be made someone's bitch (that if they don't go after your loved ones if you refuse to cooperate with any of their schemes), and the food and health care is just barely enough to get by. Also, with internet access in any public library you get more and better books than you will ever find in prison.

Not to mention that once you get out you will be even more of a social pariah than youa re now.

>>26469110
>>26470099
>WANTING to go to prison
>to "make friends"
I'm sorry but you are mentally deficient. Seek help. Soon.

bait thread blox

piracy

just let me post

Don't be stupid, OP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s

>>26469110
robbery. Pretty simple. Especially if you actually WANT to get jail time.

>>26470417

That only happens in shit prisons. If you're rich enough and get a good lawyer, you can be sent to a nice coushy prison which actually allows to you become a more productive member of human society.

>>26469303
>Low effort nonviolent crimes
Kek. All day baby

File: 1454513656988.jpg (180KB, 1000x990px) Image search: [Google]

180KB, 1000x990px

>>26469110
>yfw not getting laid often reduces the risk of fakely getting accused of rape
S-survival o-of the fittest.

Calling up a bomb threat to your local elementary school

>>26470739
This is absolutely not true. Even Bernie Madoff is getting beat in prison.

>>26470787
This one is cool because I'd give a bunch of kids a day off. Maybe I'll follow some teens on Twitter and call into their high school if they ever post about being stressed over a test.

>>26469110
Child porn...and lots of it

you'll get lots of time

>>26470880
no no no no no
i mean yeah you'll be locked up, but OP says he wants to make friends in prison. inmates are curiously hostile towards pedos and kiddy diddlers.

do or sell drugs

>>26471082
I don't have any friends how do I get a connect

>>26469110
Getting caught with cp will get you a lot of time

get stopped by a cop in texas with 3 cannabis seeds in your car.

might get you more gentle treatment by your fellow inmates.