who /considers suicide every single minute of every single day but can't bring himself to do it/ here?
my life is basically constant suffering and loneliness at this point and I really wish i could escape but i can't
I appreciate the advice anon, but you really don't understand.
My life is a big pile of utter shit to the point that I don't even have the will power to describe it, and I'm totally convinced that the only way out of this is killing myself.
I used to be just like you, and you're right, killing yourself is the way out. But I don't mean that literally. Kill your conscious constructed version of yourself.
We as human beings are literally just blank slates, you can be and do whatever the fuck you want my friend. The past and future are merely an idea, a thought. The only thing that's real is now.
Do what you want, friend.
Took me 6 months of thinking "What do I truly want to do in this situation?" I trained my mind to listen more to my subconscious rather than my conscious. Because that's where the real you lies.
I didn't necessarily do the things I thought of, I just started trying to think of what my subconscious really wants and not what my conscious wants. The subconscious is ancient and has been around for fucking ages, the conscious is basically a baby in the alpha stages of development. Problem is though a lot of people think their personality and the ttrue them is their constructed "thought of" version of themselves, when in reality the real you comes naturally and without thought.
Try listening to some Eckhart Tolle and see if it doesn't change how you look at things. I don't necessarily buy into a lot of his 'spiritual' ideology, but his views on how we suffer via the ego is pretty intuitive.