There was this Girl that left my school a while ago and I can't stop thinking about her.
I think she's very beautiful and it hurts inside.
I've completely given up on seeking a relationship. If you aren't Chad, you have to put in a ton of fucking effort. Effort that is not worth it for women. It feels so strange that something so commonplace for normal people is unknown to me.
In fact I kinda fear intimacy now because it's so foreign and intimidating. I have lost all interest and hope of ever having sex with anyone.
I'm a bitch and I'll probably never be with my oneitis and I'll probably never get a gf, but I keep thinking about her
> Tfw she comes up to me from the side after class when I'm on my phone
> puts her hand under my chin and brings me to look her in the eye before talking to me
It's a mixed feel tbqh, but it's nice.
I want a qt gf to hold me and pet me while I'm sleepy
Becouse I think she's really pretty and she was better than most girls becouse she actually had a future thanks to her ecademic ability. I find intellect really attractive in a girl, not some air head Stacy.
Haven't you ever been filled with dread knowing you could never have somone you hold in such high regard
>In fact I kinda fear intimacy now because it's so foreign and intimidating
I know that feel. I just can't be intimate anymore.
There was a girl in my highschool, all those years ago, who I was completely and utterly obsessed with. I spoke maybe two sentences to her in the entire two years we had at the same school before she transferred fairly far away.
She had just a little bit extra curve, not a whale but a faint hint of muffin-top when she wore high shirts, which come to think of it might be why I'm so partial to that body type to this day. Also was big into wearing weeb fantasy shit in everyday life, which of course made me think she was perfect and honestly I still haven't completely gotten over her. It's been almost a decade, I don't even know what she looks like anymore. She might be married with kids.
The girl in my lecture.
Despite ostensibly being friends, she never contacts me.
Who can blame her though? She's known a hundred guys like me, the ones who claim to be friends but end up becoming jealous when she goes out with guys.
I will never be her type, I know that, but I still care deeply for her.
I wish I could stand being her friend only, but the fact that my physical, and frankly mental and social, disabilities bar me from ever having the chance with her makes me so angry.
I was stricken down by factors out of my control.
>implying I don't know that
But I was a teenager at the time, still a believer in true love and all that stuff. I knew, deep down, that since she wore the cute semi-cosplay nerd stuff on a daily basis, she was perfect for me and would bring me true happiness forever.
Of course, now I'm a jaded asshole, and even if I did meet some 'perfect woman' I'd push her away with cynicism and misogyny that's become my mindset.
whenever i really really really like a girl, it's always physical attraction only and i get oneitis'es based on how unique the girl's looks are, but never about her personality
i never fall for girls on an emotional level, can't grasp how you faggots do that
>tfw thinking about girls in elementary school you hardly talked to
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE AVERAGE GIRL THAT WAS ALWAYS NERVOUS AND STUTTERING AND HAD A FATHER THAT HATED JEWS WOULD BECOME MORE DESIRABLE 10 YEARS LATER
Truth be told, I'm not one for physical interaction.
She is very beautiful, I will not lie about that, and i would consider myself sexually aroused by her, but I do not long to fuck her.
What I want is to be in a deep, loving relationship, one that would naturally entail physical romance, but I know that I'm incapable of giving her what she needs in that area.
I just hope there's a guy out there who loves her like I do, and is capable of giving her what she needs.
Of course I say this, but the thought of her special person being anyone other than me makes me seethe with unjust anger and hatred, only further proving how little I deserve her reciprocity.
If I were in her position, would I ever give myself the chance?
>If I were in her position, would I ever give myself the chance?
Hmm, that's a great quesion, though no one should ever convince themselves they could think like the people they like.
W-w-what? I don't know how to kiss.also I don't even have her number despite having known her for quite some time, also I think she likes some demi Chad.
Tf are you saying, she likes me?I don't believe it
A girl I was friends with for a few years. We used to run around in this little patch of trees down by a stream and walk to either this one pizza place or a gas station afterwards.
We used to play wrestle a lot too and go box sledding on these small hills after a heavy rain. She used to steal my hat and I'd give chase. She'd punch my arm a lot and one day did it so much it left a pretty heavy bruise in the shape of a heart.
Sometimes we'd just sit quietly not saying a word and share headphones listening to music.
Now she's in college, a whole slew of new friends, a somewhat chad boyfriend, and is busy with her new life. Ive spoke to her twice since April 2015.
I think Ima kill myself.
I know what I am to her.
The truth is that I'm not her friend, nor am I an orbiter or even a tolerated nice guy.
I'm an act of charity that she deigns to acknowledge as a human being out of an outstanding internal grace possessed by her.
She knows that the few short words we share every day are the highlights of my life, and she allows me to have that.
I can't tell if I'd rather accept her pity or have never met her at all.
And then I think about all of the horrible things that come to my mind when I consider the life she leads outside of me. I call the only person who's ever even pretended to see me as a real person a bitch and a whore.
Why do I have to be like this?