Welcome to /r9k/, how pathetic are you?

>>26442997
I once had sex with a chair

>>26442997
I'm NEET and don't want to work

i stopped feeling any kind of shame or self consciousness a while ago

I write erotic fanfiction and upload it to the internet.

>>26443090
Sofa for me.

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>>26443106
This to be quite honest familia. Working is absolutely soul draining. You get up, go to work, and get home and you're just exhausted and can't enjoy your spare time at all.

I have complete disreguard for proper fourm ettiquette and treat r9k as the new b

I also troll r9k for tips on how to fake being pathetic so i reel women in with a false sense of security.

>>26443116
How did you achieve this?

>>26442997
I masturbate to an impressive variety of cartoon girls and have never had a girlfriend

I'm one of the few women that pays child support.

>>26442997
I wanna pour a bag of flour down her throat.

I can't have sex because im impotent.
I've tried 2 times, it won't stand.

Im doomed to never have children.

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lost my virginity to a prostitute. I was 21

>>26443173
Impressive. How'd you manage that?

>>26443219
At least you lost it.

I have a diaper fetish that dominates my sexuality to the point where I don't even try having vanilla sex with women

>>26443090
how can you do this? is it better than fapping?

>>26442997
Spent the last few years reading nothing but my little pony fanfiction. Apart from the occasional Non-fiction history book that is.

>>26443226
Chad dumped me when I got pregnant, so I threatened to throw the baby off a bridge if he didn't take it. He did, but then slammed me with child support.

>>26443263
he put it in his ass :(

>>26443343
Good. Fuck you

>>26443119
Same.
I write erotic fanfiction for moe anime characters and do ERP as them too on roleplay forums.
Try topping that faggots.

>>26443090
Had sex with a bus once.

Got a boner and the bumps in the road made me jizz.

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>>26443415
This is the first thing I've read on /r9k/ that made me say "what the fuck" out loud

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I'm a 22 year old kissless virgin
I'm a neet of five years
I've tried to kill myself once before, and failed
I'm afraid to leave the house, and only do so on rare occasions
I dropped out of high school because the stress was overwhelming me
I both hate and fear women
I watch moe anime because its the only thing that makes me happy

I'm so pathetic that when I saw that pic I didn't think of getting blown or coming on her face but of being really tiny and then her eating me, which is fatal and I die.

im a virgin at 27.im bad at expressing my feelings and showing interest.the things that interest me never seem to interest other people.
people dont connect with me because i cant connect with anyone.
i work like a slave for a shitty wage.work tires me and im already a lazy fuck whenever i can be so all of my spare time is spend on games and internet.i use 3dsmax for my work so i probably spend 14-15 hours looking at a computer screen each day.
i dont like commuting.whenever i commute i sleep.so my life is sleep work games sleep.
i try to make friends but i cant.
at this point im ok with being like this.ive come to terms that i would always be alone like this 7 or 8 times already.at least i can live by myself.
except im about to quit my job.ive had enough.at least im not fat and know how to dress.thats still something right?

>>26443457
it's not even that bad. I've gotten plenty of erections from the bus bumping and vibrating

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>>26443167
wow me2

Who's your current muse?

Mine is pic related

>>26443090
One time i put vaseline in a plastic bag and then put it in between my mattress and box spring and then pumped away.

Before i printed out a picture of a hot girl in my class and put it on the bed in front of me as i was fucking it

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>>26443263
It was a wood chair with a hole in

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>>26444263
filler text here fuck off robot

You should feel good, you supported some girls drug habit without her having to do any real work. Probably made her day too, since you're not an old fuck. Unless you made her eat ass or something

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Dropped out of HS, 10K in student loans after dropping out of college TWICE, never held a job over year (quit my current one a couple weeks ago so NEET), never had friends or gf, skin is terrible, done depraved things (came on sisters kitten, boner while niece sits on lap, etc) and currently no prospects or ambitions. Planning on throwing all the money I have at becoming the person I want to be and hoping to get a comfy mall job for the rest of my life and possibly become a degenerate cyborg.

>>26443136
>>26443090
bed and sock for me
>>26443106
same but want money
>>26443119
same and also translate works
>>26443219
pretty close here to. Lost virginity to a 16 year old wannabe street white girl when I was 19. Didn't realize why her phone had so many texts calling her a slut until I found out a year later how many guys she's been with...

Also everyone here hates cyborgs so r9k hates me, everyone hates me or doesn't care at all really. I hate myself too

i'm a tranny

despite that i pass i havent had sex with a guy in a year because i'm too neet to go outside and i'm afraid of internet dating

i complain too much about not having a boyfriend when i know its my fault for not going outside at all

i'm on r9k surrounded by nerds who dont admit its their fault they dont have a girlfriend

i think i'm better than you guys when i'm rly just like you

i'm listening to slipknot for the first time in over 10 years right now

i filled a huge garbage bag with empty bottles and old mail last night and it only took like 10 minutes, but most of it has been on my floor for months because i thought it would take forever to clean.
the only reason i'm cleaning is because i'm moving in two weeks.

btw i thought the robot was deactivated. i had to type more than "i'm a tranny".
i dont rly come to r9k anymore so i dont know what happens around here.

I'm practically fantasizing the future because this cute girl smiled at me.

>>26444745
>came on sisters kitten
>boner while niece sits on lap
lmao

>>26444766
If it's any consolation. If we met and got along, I would date you or be your friend as a straight cis male who looks like a trap pretty much

>>26444826
something funny anon?

>>26442997
31kv hows that

>>26444906
oh i dont rly have many problems with dating.
in my experience even tho like 2/3rds of guys arent comfortable dating a tranny, thats still pretty good.

i'm short and skinny and did okay with girls before i turned into a tranny, and i feel like my options are about the same as before.
if i was tall like most trannies maybe it would be harder to date.
the only difference is i cant have casual hookups anymore except with friends.

plus i dont like penis-in-vagina anymore so mostly date guys, but taking it in the ass is rly stressful/difficult even tho it feels amazing.

>who looks like a trap pretty much
i think thats hot desu

>>26444945
you came on a cat

not gonna say that isnt fucked up but its also pretty funny

>>26445081
>i cant have casual hookups anymore except with friends.
I'll have to remember that . . is this a thing, or is this just with you? Would you befriend, date and/or fuck a trap?

>>26445081
cat watched me while I was next to the laptop. Thought it would run away or see how it reacted. I guess cats don't have very good instincts.

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I've cried reading the Mommy Rose threads and I'm a sissy

>>26444766
Wow are we the same person?
>also a tranny
>don't complain about it as much but also lonely af
>live in filth
>pass for the most part but too shy and nervous to meet boys

>>26445348
>>26444766
>>26444906

stream threesome now

>>26443090
Fucked a bagel once.

>>26445223
its mostly just a thing.
if i go to a club or something, its a waste of time to flirt with random guys because he's probably not comfortable with dickgirls and it might even put me at risk of a hate crime. it happens. sometimes the guy even gets away with it.

more worthwhile investment to network and make friends with kinksters and progressively-minded individuals who are more likely to think trans girls are hot.

i've dated a trans girl before. we were together for about six months. it was nice.
i'd date a guy who is into wearing girl clothes.
i dont like putting my penis in holes, but i like putting it in mouths.

>>26445348
i just think lots of us have similar narratives.
we might even know each other.

>>26445477
i used to live with trannies who do that and they just ended up fighting with each other a lot

threesomes are fun but only occasionally

>>26443178
a true original thinker, born only once every thousand years

>>26445616
>network and make friends with kinksters and progressively-minded individuals who are more likely to think trans girls are hot

where do you usually look? I wouldn't mind trying myself actually.

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>>26444500
I don't understand your hostility.

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Why can't I ever find some slut girl who just wants to do degraded shit with me? Every girl I've been with (and its not very many) has just been kind of like... not that sexual. But I know guys with these like absolute filthy in the sack girls, and they aren't even like super alpha males. Just some kind of nerdy chick who takes pride in sluttiness.

Where do I find that???

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>>26445774
I was telling ROBOT9000 to fuck off, not you anon <3
Have more yuri

>>26445733
make friends with one trans person, you'll likely be one step away from dozens of us.

aside from that, it's hard to say.
I just talk to people while I'm out playing magic the gathering or whatever, and based on their personality I can usually guess if they're open minded.

another phenomenon i experience a lot is most guys in general have simply never thought about it, then after they meet me finally think about whether or not they're okay with dating a tranny.
sometimes they decide they are. sometimes they arent.

idk what to recommend for a guy who wants to meet trans girls. we're so rare. but when you befriend one its easy to meet the rest.

a lot of my friends play magic the gathering and pokemon, if that helps. most are into anime and music.
in general, have introverted boyish hobbies because we werent allowed to do girly things growing up.

>>26445788
You find them selling their pussy for money. PROTIP: They cheat on you, go to prison, or kill themselves.

>>26446042
>tfw never got into mtg in college, but someone gave me yugioh cards to play with them and got into it for a bit or played pokemon since ruby/sapphire

Looks like I have a new hobby to try and get back into again. Maybe I'll meet a nice trans/girl in Atlanta one day. Oh well.

>>26443256
Me too family. And my fantasies have grown to be so specific, off the wall, and downright disgusting too. I don't think I could ever muster the courage to tell someone.