>To inject some much needed romance into their relationship, the wagecuck decided to treat his girlfriend to an evening of passionate, vigorous sex, satisfying her every desire...
While he stayed at work late to finish those reports.
>How do you make a femanon laugh?
"So you're a virgin, right?"
>How do you make an anon laugh?
"So you've done this before, right?"
>How else do you make a femanon laugh?
"Y-yeah, plenty of times!"
>You shouldn't judge a femanon for not having her hymen in tact. Many of them had their hymens broken during every day activities, such as exercising, or riding horses when they were younger.
Sorry, I meant Chads not horses.
A wagecuck friend of mine told me recently that he wanted the best of both worlds: the income of a wagecuck and the freedom of a NEET. I tried to make him realise the benefits of the NEET life, but he just didn't listen. I heard from him again a couple of weeks later and he completely fucked it up -
he became a janny and ended up working like a wagecuck for the income of a NEET.
>Why did the wagecuck slit one wrist?
He only worked part time.
>What's the difference between a wagecuck and a NEET?
I don't look forward to sick days.
>What does a wagecuck have that a slave doesn't?
I've been asked why I make jokes about mods and jannies all the time and the truth is I hold a grudge against them for deleting one of my threads. But I'm mostly over it...
I mean, you can't really take seriously someone whose most lucrative career move was checking the back of the couch for loose change.
"Wagecuck who?! I've been bringing you coffee and running your errands for 6 years now, Mr Shekkelstein!"
The madman! He's on a roll and can't be stopped!
Stay comfy, fellow NEETs. Stay comfy.
>Have you heard the one about what it's like to be a wagecuck?
Never mind, you won't have time.
>Did you hear about the wagecuck that jumped out of a plane?
Mr Shekkelstein said a promotion was "up in the air" for him.
>What eats half a pack of hotpockets at a time and weighs 200lbs?
Half a janitor.
>How do you make a wagecuck bend over?
[Spoiler]Give him minimum wage.
>A NEET, a wagecuck and a 4chan janitor are at a funfair where they come across a shady looking man at a stall.
>He tells the NEET that if he buys a ticket and is able to last five minutes out back with the man's vicious rottweiler, he'll win a thousand dollars. The NEET is no fool though and declines the offer. He then watches his wagecuck friend buy a ticket, then vanish round back with the stall owner. After ten seconds or so he runs out screaming, with his clothes torn, covered in bite marks. The NEET and the wagecuck hastily leave the funfair.
>After a few days they haven't heard anything from their janny friend so decide to go back to find out what happened to him. They come across the same stall owner and ask him if janny managed to complete the challenge, to which he tells them that sadly the he was torn to shreds by the rottweiler.
>The NEET laments that it simply wasn't worth it for a mere thousand dollars. The wagecuck is taken aback by this and says to the stall owner, "A thousand dollars?! You were only going to give me twenty bucks!" The man replies,
"Well that's more than I offered the other guy - he did it for free!"
>A wagecuck friend of mine told me recently that he wanted the best of both worlds: the income of a wagecuck and the freedom of a NEET. I tried to make him realise the benefits of the NEET life, but he just didn't listen. I heard from him again a couple of weeks later and he completely fucked it up - he became a janny and ended up working like a wagecuck for the income of a NEET.
This one is some top tier shit my friend. How have you been?
>Nobody asked me to
>The Jews got them to work for free
>Can you be more cucked
holy shit, neet comedian, you've struck gold again. I'm crying here. "voluntarily"!!! you're too much.
wait a second, you're not neet comedian.
you're a wagecuck and you're being dead serious.
Stupid NEET comedian and smug wojak. I fucking hate you two. I'm not even a wagie... these threads are just so stupid. They make me angry, I know the joke here is 'le autism' but you two most likely have severe issues.
I bet you're actually wagies.
if your life's all that grand, why are you wasting your time on a Bhutanese passport forging website?
>A wagecuck was watching a football match one day with a NEET friend, and in that game there was not a single injury, and the score was 2-1 at 90 minutes. By the 92nd minute the NEET was confused, but his wagecuck friend didn't seem surprised at all
He was just so used to overtime
I'm sorry brainiac I was sort of confused with the whole 'voluntary' thing you know?
based neet comedian, you always make my day a little bit happier
Wow fellow NEET im gonna go ahead and certify this thread TOP LEL worthy. Congrats and keep on keeping on.
>A wagie and his NEET friend are debating where to eat. The NEET suggests walking to a classical Italian pizzeria at the other end of town, a real sleeper as he was told. The wagecuck however insists they go to McDonald's, justifying it with the old idiom "Time is money." The NEET was taken aback by the menial mindset of the cuckie at first, but sooner than later actually gave in, realising the truth behind the old saying that the cuckie has presented. How, you ask?
Well, the NEET realised that the wagecuck lacks BOTH time and money, equally.
You want to hear our arguments? Here is the full version
> but I just wish they didn't make fun of us Jews so much
Get back in the oven
>>What does a wagecuck have that a slave doesn't?
oh that's a fucking good one
Oh, lookie lookie! This wagie is dreaming! Wake up, wagecuck. Mr. Shekel can't cuck you properly while you are sleeping. Back to work, that yacht ain't gonna buy itself, lil' wagie.
I'd like to see a thread like this on /pol/. They get mega assblasted by wagecuck threads.
>But we don't do that
Yea, "wir haben es nicht gewusst" right?
Protip: The system right now is setup so that the rich stay rich, and the poor stay poor. This is thanks to your lobbying, mister Shekelstein
Do you honestly believe that? People have acquired wealth by simply making youtube videos of themselves playing video games. Its a capitalist society, if you study hard enough you can find a decent trade you can live off of, you won't get anywhere with communism.
>People have acquired wealth by simply making youtube videos of themselves playing video games
You misunderstand, they might have gotten a few hundred grand, but Mr Bikkelberg from YouTube got millions. And those are the lucky ones.
>if you study hard enough you can get a big student loan which will take you many years to repay with a shitty job which is by no means guaranteed btw.
>>Why did the wagecuck slit one wrist?
>He only worked part time.
I should be discouraging people from posting shit like this bc they always suck compared to the original, but I kek'd hard at this.
>a few hundred grand
You only need about 80k just to support yourself, why can't people be grateful with the money they earn? Also the founders of youtube are not jewish and nobody is stopping you from making a website similar to youtube.
>>if you study hard enough you can get a big student loan which will take you many years to repay with a shitty job which is by no means guaranteed btw.
Well you don't have to go to school to find a well paying job, you can always teach yourself how to program, make indie games, websites, ect. Nothing is stopping you from building your dreams other than your own insecurities.
>why can't people be grateful with the money they earn?
>why cant you just be happy with the scraps we give you?
Hehe, nice try kike.
>Nothing is stopping you from building your dreams other than your own insecurities.
Except, you know, taxes, low wages and regulations?
There you go with your antisemitism again.
>>why cant you just be happy with the scraps we give you?
Several hundred grand= scraps
Thats pretty greedy of you, you're living in a 1st world country, you have internet, clean water, fresh food, protection provided by law enforcement, a roof over your head, and most importantly opportunities, the opportunity to go out there and make money or gain benefits from the government by faking a disability, either way thats still a living!. There are a lot of people who would kill to be in your shoes.
>>Except, you know, taxes, low wages and regulations?
Than find a job that pays under the table, make your own landscaping company, carpentry, plumbing, people have paid others money by hand with out any taxing or regulations.
I don't understand why you think life is so unfair and the Jewish people are immediately the top 1% that try at nothing to oppress every one. You're just being mad because you don't want to work a shit job, when I've explained to you that you don't have to, but still you avoid everything I presented.
HOLY SHIT, these threads are only getting better. Thank you based comedy NEET.
>More poor shaming
If you are so happy with a few hundred grand then why do you keep squeezing every last cent out of us poor goyim? Why don't you give away your fortune?
>Than find a job that pays under the table, make your own landscaping company, carpentry, plumbing, people have paid others money by hand with out any taxing or regulations.
Sounds like a great way to go to prison for tax evasion
>I don't understand why you think life is so unfair and the Jewish people are immediately the top 1%
Look I don't care if you're a NEET, if you can find a way to live and not be homeless than good for you. I just hate it when people assume the Jews are the reason for all their problems, and you're less likely to avoid going to prison for tax evasion than lying to the government for fake disabilities. Mexican immigrants have achieved welfare from the government and work jobs that didn't make them pay taxes and get away with it all the time. Yes this is a corrupt system, but nothings gonna change if you just sit here all day spouting antisemitic bullshit, at least you're not in Somalia.
>I just hate it when people assume the Jews are the reason for all their problems
Not all our problems, but a significant portion.
Oy vey, it's annudah Shoah! I know i know...
>just proves that I won.
Oh you won for sure, by virtue of being born to the right parents