Robots from the land down under, let me know you exist! Sucks being the only weird cunt spending every single day with normies...
Anyone from Adelaide, SA. (Down south preferably)
I've actually got wheels/free time for a change.
We could go for a cruise, try and score some hooch, and listen to 'return of the mack' by Mark Morrison 80,000 times in the process..
What's wrong with normies?
Who /Healthy Harold/ here
>tfw thought healthy Harold was a real fucking giraffe and when it bit me I cried cause I thought I was gonna get rabies and die from it
but Harold. What if I don't care about dying? Check and mate.
Don't have normiechat, but my email's email@example.com
Hey I wouldn't mind getting a bus into the city or somewhere closer if that helps
Normally have a car, just not tonight dammit.
Just go a job in direct marketing
Pretty keen to start working after 3 months as NEET
where my failed normies at?
your daily reminder that there are no real robots in australia. this country is to chad and the real robots have already an herod
Doing a course atm, was a long time NEET
Even making friends, fuck me, this is weird
I feel so fake tbqh
I want to know this too, I got put off YA because rents were making over a certain amount. Does this change once you're over 21?
Aus study is only for over 25's (I'm assuming you're younger) so you're still eligible for student YA. The amount payed is the same as Aus study so it's pretty much the same thing.
I believe you have to be living independently. However you can claim disruptive household (rents ant chipping in to feed you, arguements, stress, you have anxiety/autism now)
But give them a call anonymously desu
>tfw you think your a robot because your neet
>remember your australian and you have atleast done 1 normie thing in your life
>mandatory sports/swimming in schools
>australian beach culture doesnt allow for shut-ins at a young age unless your actually autistic
Definately possible. Just claim your parents are making you pay rent.
I know someone in that exact same position however he has high-functioning autism, OCD and is completely unstable. he gets paid well from centilink
Alot of people do this illegally
>lets say you have a friend that owns a rental property
>bribe him/her to sign off that your living there and paying rent
>claim autism bux for rent also from centi link
Mind you getting caught can land you and your friend with criminal records so its a terrible idea desu.
Moral of the story is be either a student or have autism.
In either situation get a part-time restaurant or cafe job that pays cash 1-2 days a week. youll be under 18,000 a year so no tax..
>I've been to the beach countless times
>Still a pure robot
pick one chad..
Come on mate, that's like saying going to a nightclub makes you a chad. It sure as fuck doesn't, it just makes the robots stick out even more. Any location I go to, I'm still a kissless virgin
Perhaps, I've just witnessed the purest strain of robot and they're mostly from UK/America.
These are truly humans with no motivation/hope left.
Yet to meet an Australian robot and by meet I mean have an omegle/skype chat with.
>Any location I go to, I'm still a kissless virgin
Sure you might not be a chad, but you still a failed normie just like me and 95% of the board. but dont consider yourself a robot.
>naturally strongly built
>good hair, good facial hair
>smart, genius level
>was shaping up to have a god tier life
>tfw hit with medical issues
>tfw they ruined everything
FUCK YOU WORLD
>far away beach town.
I work for Centrelink. At 22 you're considered independent, and no longer get assessed based on parental income.
Because this is an aussie thread on /r9k/, I'll stick around if any ausbots want Centrelink advice.
Where do you study, what course?
>Youth Disability Supplement
Pretty sure that's just an add on to YAL.
But yeah, NSA is the regular dole payment when you're over 22.
But the guy you're replying to is probably eligible for YAL.
Your service provider is probably keeping you on the books cause they get paid. There's gonna be an audit in 2016 of all jsp's, and they'll either be forced to recommend work for the dole, or they'll shuffle you off to someone else.
Have to stress here that it's not that easy.
You'll be expected to prove that its unreasonable to live at home if you're under 22. They investigate that stuff, and if you're not a study living away for study, they involve a case manager or social worker at your local office.
I got sick of reading the posts. If you have a question, ask.
Actually, current independent rate of YAL is averaging at $485.00 a fortnight plus whatever rent assistance you're entitled to.
RA depends on circumstances, like whether you're sharing, paying board/lodgings, private rent, etc.
Protip; if you're not assessed as independent, no RA for you.
Im doing mech engineering at university of Western Sydney. How can I apply for these benefits? Walk into a Centrelink or can I do it online. Keep in mind I have no disabilities/mental issues just want some petrol money/general spending money. How long is the process?
Without knowing specifics, I would say that you didn't have enough medical evidence to show that you're incapable of working.
I don't usually work with DSP, but from when I did, I was used to seeing DSP claims re schizophrenia with medical evidence that would point out that with medication, the individual can function and work.
Seriously though, without knowing exactly what your rejection letter said, I can't know.
I'm on DSP, but there's NO indication of any change (I.E forced to do work, pay deduction, job interviews).
Yet I hear about people losing the dole or getting dole lowered, even policies changing.
Why hasn't that happened to me?
Not complaining, just curious
Well, its not that simple. I would be working if I was able. I lost my last job from mental instability
It just said that it was rejected. Fucking bullshit man theres people I know with PTSD who are on disability but me literally being crazy can't get it? Its a load of shit
Sounds like you've got something.
Assuming you're full time.
If you have a record with Centrelink, make sure you have online services. If you've never verified your identity with documents, go into an office with 100 points (license, birth cert, passport, medicare card, whatever, just enough of it) and while you're there, get self-service.
If you've never provided documents, make sure they scan them on (the office guys will tell you to ring or do it online). Make sure it's your record. (You probably have a child one if your parents claimed FTB, so ring and check, ask them to separate it).
Once you've managed to apply online, if you're under 22, get a MOD JY form off human services (parental income). If you work, get payslips. If you have money in a bank (you'll be saying on the claim) get bank statements ready, and if you work, payslips.
>how long is the process
Mate do I have some news for you. We have over 70 000 YAL claims right now. We've just mobilised huge amounts of people to try and cope (I was one of them).
Make sure you're submitting documents - ones that don't are getting immediately rejected after 14 days. Don't sit around waiting, just do it.
I do Fulltime uni at UC finishing my degree next year and I get 655 per fortnight from AusStudy but I also work alot too so thats something
Hey Robots does anyone else just feel hollow when walking though the crowds or when you talk to people?
Just curious, what's the likelihood of me being granted DSP nowadays? I was rejected for depression/anxiety back in 2011 (under the GOOD impairment tables) and I've barely worked since, and my health has only deteriorated.
That's a big fat maybe.
We have this thing called "allowable time". Basically, we take a look at the type of course (not going into our grading system). Basically, if it's the same level (say, Bachelors), we'll ask why. If it's something logical, like after doing an arts degree, going to do a more serious one, then maybe. If its another random one, you'll probably get knocked back. Canberra wants people getting jobs and giving back in tax. They actively try to stop career students.
Also yes, AUS is for you after 25.
Are you over or under 35? Half way through 2015, there were mass reviews of people on DSP under the age of 35.
Like I said, it comes down to the evidence you've provided. People on it for PTSD are usually described by the medical pracs. as unable to hold down a job.
DSP processors aren't medical professionals dude, they have legislation to follow, and take their cues from your doctor/psych.
>he thinks he isn't a normie
i used to make ausbot threads for friday and saturday nights but i stopped bothering becuase they were full of unifags like yourself
you think you are a robot but you are able to go to uni
i dropped out of school in 8th grade because i could no longer handle being around other people
UNIFAGS ARE NOT FUCKING ROBOTS FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Thanks mate. Wish I was aware of the appeals-system back when I applied over 5 years ago, perhaps I'd be on it today. The whole process is rather daunting and off-putting though.
>what counts as disabled
Can't quote off the top of my head, but basically, if you can prove medically that you're unable to work, due to physical or mental conditions, and this is verified by medical professionals, you have a chance.
Rarely see DSP for this. Most people consider it treatable with drugs or therapy.
Anti-depressants are the norm for this. Most doctors/psychs advise this manages the condition.
You can do other work, work that doesn't require hearing.
If you function, you'll have trouble finding someone to stick their neck out and say you can't work.
>work a lot
How much is a lot? Are you reporting it?
I feel like I'm saying this a lot, but you will never get DSP if you can't find proof that your condition is something that will, or is, keeping you from working.
Also on the website it says that the allowable time for each course is the standard course length + 1 semester. If it took me one semester longer could I appeal to have my allowable time increased? I have a family doctor who would vouch for any reason I might give (depression, trauma etc).
You never got it? I never worked with the U35 team. When were you granted DSP?
Pretty much. DSP is on the firing line.
>daunting and off-putting
It's meant to be. It's the harsh reality that it's my job to mask (I work on the phones). Social security is a safety net, and an important one, but the government wants it as cheap as possible. One of the most effective ways to do that is make it hard to get on it. That way, only the desperate and truly needy will struggle to get on it.
you don't know shit. I was on free benefits for six months without needing to do a single thing and all I needed was certificate saying I was too depressed to work from my doctor
I barely leave the house, I work part time at night stacking shelves so i put my headphones in and work on my own
i spend my entire waking life on the computer or furthering the goal of being on the computer
on the off chance i meet people out side i like them to be white and unarmed
>Cash in hand
Be vary careful. I mean if you get busted with that, you'll have bigger problems than a Centrelink debt, but there's a saying in DHS. It all comes out in the wash.
>appeal to have allowable time increased
Potentially, but then we're going to question why. Like, most unis will have course length based on how many subjects, which in turn determines whether you're full time. If we ask why, chances are its cause you haven't been doing it full time in order to complete in standard time. If you weren't full time, you weren't eligible.
Okay so I can work, but its more stressful for me than for normies, and only minimum wage shit despite my degree, and I'm so autistic that i will never get promoted. Is there anything other than dsp that I could apply for?
try being in a shopping centre carpark on your own at 1am in the morning and it's a perfect 25c
or walking on the beach at night alone
melbourne was ok when it was full of white people
>you don't know shit
By chance, were you on Newstart, and made exempt from your mutual obligations?
You do know we've change it right? Med certs can't exceed 3 months, and you still need to report every fortnight.
On behalf of everyone I work with, I want to ask: you do know you're not as clever as you think you are, right?
It sounds like you may have fallen through with relatively recent claim. Your medical details may also determine that your condition won't be changing. Why are you on DSP?
>desperately need job
>been looking for jobs for past couple of weeks
>Every single job lists one of these as requirements to be considered
>"Must have X years experience"
>"Must have tertiary qualification/certificate III
what the fuck do I do ausbots, what do all of you do as jobs?
Isn't QLD full of islander looking dudes? I lived there for a few years and it was a horrible experience. Melb is just full of Asians at the most, and they don't bother anyone
Also I'm too scared to go out alone at night, I'll never know those car park feels
It's sad because, once upon a time I truly believe the money would've enabled me to live a more fruitful, independent lifestyle. I may've even been able to address my condition more readily. But I don't feel as if that's an option anymore, I feel thoroughly defeated by the system, and the powers that be. Now here I am, nearing 24 years of age, still suffering on NewStart. Fortunately I don't have to participate in work for the dole, due to my DES-status.
Fair call. I'm not at work so I can freely admit that most people are fairly hard done by in life.
If you're earning under a certain threshold, you can sometimes be eligible for NSA. You'll be required to report every fortnight, and work a certain amount of hours.
I failed one class in the first semester which was a prerequisite for another class which is going to push the completion date past the allowable time. I was living in a violent situation and had to relocate during that semester so I assumed it might be a valid appeal.
Hey robots I have a question for you.
I had me a gf years ago and we ended because of the distance (I drove up 3 hours to get her and bring her home when ever we met) We ended thanks to her and I havent had a woman since (4 years) we kinda remained like friends I think
She got knocked up to a Chad douche and he left her almost instantly and I was ther efor her all though out the pregnancy even when she went into labor I rode all the way up to her to be by her side for 3 days Hell I was there before her mum was and they live just 10 min from the hospital and still im treated as a friend even though I would have helped rasied the kid and taken her in.
I still love her but I dont know what I did to have deserved this shit but I dont know what to do.
I feel fucked and drinking while on depression meds dont help me at all
Why do all women that you bend over backwards for end up killing you in return?
i think most of the kiwis fucked off back to new cuckland when the economy here shit the bed
anywhere outside of brisbane and logan are white paradise
it's so nice outside that sitting inside feels good even, just having a rainforest outside the window
Probably considered ongoing conditions. Combined with their severity, you probably skated through.
As I'm giving genuine advice tonight, I'll say: please keep an eye on your letters and correspondence. A lot of people have been missing it (cause for a lot of people, managing to get on DSP has been equal to permanent easy street) and getting their payment suspended.
Honestly, I'd say go get re-assessed. But if your doctor or psych won't back up the claim that you can't work, you're probably out of luck.
Nah you should be fine.
Just update student details to reflect your completion date, and if you get asked, just say that.
Usually we have extended allowable time for people who fail once (twice at max, if its not the same subject).
If you're required to provide evidence, just take it from there. It sounds like a legit thing, and god knows there have been allowances for less.
Hell ive held him and he grabbed my hand that kid is beautiful and I know I shouldnt cuck myself but honestly the women in the ACT are fucked beyond all reason hell even Uni girls dont look twice at me and I come home to drink myself into a stupor when I can afford it
she will use you while he grows up, take your money, then seperate and go to court and claim that as you were in a de facto relationship you need to pay child support
then she will train him to hate you and cut all contact
just dont do it it's not worth it. trust me a life of complete loneliness is better than having your kid taken away from you by a filthy entitled western woman
rural victoria robot here
>tfw somehow scored interview for for a job after 4 years of NEETdom
i am shitting myself. i have no idea how to function in the outside world anymore, but i am getting kicked out of my parents place
Alrighty, all good. U35 reviews haven't affected you.
As for your original line of questioning, other peoples' payments change for a bunch of reasons. Depends which ones they were on.
>spend 8 hour days dealing with a parade of people whose only job is to go to appoints, "look" for work and report every 2 weeks
This thread is just so cathartic - I can tell you to go fuck yourself.
I'm autistic to the point of having panic attacks from things like dropping a plate of food or being approached by strangers, I went to a pretty empty cornerstore last week and I almost passed out from terror
can I get loads of autismbux
I'm not sure what you think working in the real world is like but it's mostly getting along with others. They'll hire a likeable guy over a socially retarded genius almost always.
Sorry to hear about your shitty childhood. I was raised by a single mother but I can't complain.
All good - honestly it's kinda fun. It's only more fun when exchange programs at the uni I go to waltz into my tutorials and throw around phrases like "Centrelink will pay for your travels" and I get to call them down.
Can you get a doctor or psych to provide, in writing, information that communicates in no uncertain terms that these conditions are keeping you from working and functioning in normal society?
>Can you get a doctor or psych to provide, in writing, information that communicates in no uncertain terms that these conditions are keeping you from working and functioning in normal society?
What type of job should I be trying to get as a fundamentally broken human being in Chad: the country?
I'm similar to this >>26433786, I've woken up in the middle of a panic attack which I think was because there were too many people around me in my dream. When I try talk to other people, I just go completely brain-dead, I can't form even simple responses. My parents aren't going to take this much longer and I really need to start getting an income, but there's no way I could get centrelink because from four years old, my dad ingrained into my head how disgusting it is to be a dole bludger. My parents also earn too much.
>enter late night Aus thread
>Centrelink music starts playing
>weeding for Mr Goldberg
Dude, I work for the government. I don't know if you've noticed, but specifically, I work for Centrelink.
Newstart/jobseekers isn't slave labour, it's a free $400+ a fortnight.
Hi bots. I saw centrelink bloke and that inspired me. I am here to offer help. On the odd chance some of you are employed or want to know how the tax system works (and mildly relates to centrelink, mostly in a debt/child support capacity)
>individual tax related questions
>business tax related questions
>student loans, compulsory repayment, voluntary repayment, indexation
First spoiler alert:
If you have a student loan, at 31/12/2017, the 5% repayment bonus for voluntary payments made over $500 is going to be abolished, so make the most of that if you can.
Then get one prepared, call Centrelink or go in, get your forms (DSP is still on paper claims) and get started.
Lost my shit. Thanks for the share anon.
Fun fact - we go on hold ourselves half the time we need you on hold, and get the exact same music.
night shift doing menial physical labour somewhere with limited contact, but it sounds like youre too autistic for even that. so, suicide (i recommend this, but not from a place of malice. very few people are capable of accurate assessment of the merits of existence which leads them to place an inordinate amount of value in staying alive) or autismbux, which you sound like you qualify for. your choice
Actually, now that you're here, I'll just ask some stuff.
>what's your role/APS level?
>what do you know about changes to YAL start up scholarship/loan?
I'm fairly certain this is a debt tacked on to HECS.
>how often do you use the DHS data link to check earnings from Centrelink fortnightly reports?
And my favourite area
>how often do you get people whining when ATO takes family tax benefit supplements for a tax debt, or their tax refunds gets taken by Centrelink for a family tax benefit debt?
This has happened to me. All aussies know how notoriously shit centrelink is with their phone service, no fault of their own but they're getting assraped by millions the worst kind of people every day.
I also don't think they outsource, centrelink dude can maybe confirm this. I don't envy his phone shenanigans at all.
If you have a loan and it is viewable on your Statement of Account (SOA), you can make a voluntary payment of any amount at any time. You can call the ATO's individual line on 132866 to get a balance of your HELP loans (student loans of any kind). When you call, have your ID like TFN, address, name, dob and passport or birth certificate ready. Ask for help linking up to myGov if you haven't already. You can see your SOA online at any time, you can also lodge your tax returns and manage ur details.
tl;dr know how much your balance is, ask about payment options on the phone, make payment.
Use this tool: https://www.ato.gov.au/Calculators-and-tools/HELP-voluntary-repayment/
Where would I be able to get work like that? Will I need a forklift license or something?
I'm pretty far gone, and while I was never really good with people, I used to be A LOT better. I don't doubt that I'll get better with extended exposure, but the problem is overcoming it all at the beginning.
Thx m8 ill use the calc tomorrow
Fuckin 1am and shit
Eh. I just don't think suicide is a good option. What's the saying.... Permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's kind of just normie garbage but yeah, don't kill yourself.
supermarkets employ shelf stackers that work the graveyard shift exclusively. you will still need to make occasional contact with other humans but if you think you might be able to handle it no harm in trying. these jobs are typically easier to get, as well. high demand for workers and very limited experience requirements
not all problems are temporary, and not all temporary problems are worth enduring. you're going to end up dead regardless, and life isn't the super happy fun slide most people make it out to be, it will only get harder from here until you die in a likely painful manner
i havent had sex in years but when i did its because my friends (REEEEEEEEEEEEEE i know, they know i am retarded but still like me) dragged me to normie parties and some drunk slut found me attractive enough. if youre ugly, i dont really know desu. probably try and develop a friendship with a girl and work off that rather than attempting to date them right off the bat. though that will most likely land you in the friendzone anyway. i truly feel for my ugly robot brethren, it must be what i feel but tenfold. at least take solace in the fact that there are people out there SO AUTISTIC AND AWKWARD that even having a nice face cant save them
Since you call yourself a robot, I doubt you go to bars with m8s so... maybe try Tinder or just make some friends and stop caring so much. I don't know why undesirables want to get laid so badly. You'd think they would just accept their fate and whatnot.
I am a CSR and my APS level is 3. I handle inbound phone calls like you. I also handle inbound correspondence (very broad range of topics) but one of my recent highlights is now getting access to DIBP which means I can see passport details of anyone who entered or left the country. Mad snooping.
I have not been made aware of any changes to the YAL startup loan, truthfully I didn't know that it existed, if I got a call about it, I'd direct people to centrelink phone lines to answer it because they facilitate the loan. Once it becomes a HELP debt, I can provide advice.
No one in my centre handles DHS payment earnings to check income. That may be something that other ATO sites do if they need to work out child support arrangements or confirm reported taxable income. Normally what I would do is check ATOMS in corporate apps and compare welfare payments vs declared income from PAYGW employers to see if people had been claiming centrelink and working at the same time. Centrelink doesn't withhold tax but it counts as taxable income so people get 20-25k on centrelink and then earn another 10-15 and end up with a tax liability.
FTB calls happen alot around tax time, but since we're well past the lodgement due date of 15FY these calls have really died off. It became a little bit satisfying to tell people that they aren't getting shit and their money was used to clear an existing debt.
This also applies to people who have other forms of debt on other accounts like PAYGI or activity statements, or entities and composite debt/insolvency. People seem to think their income tax return is immune.
They come and cry to us and we palm them off to you because we literally don't give a fuck. Sorry <3.
I remember when it was 30% and I still didn't bother repaying. HELP is still the best loan you can get and you don't even have to pay it unless you earn more than average. Not worth repaying imo
i stack shelves at woolies and i fucking love it
everyone is a casual easy going 40something you can basically do your own thing all night with headphones in or you can work with someone else and spend the night talking you dont need to be really clean, shaven or in nice clothes most of the time, you don't have to deal with customers or other departments, all the higher up managers have gone home for the night by the time you get there
you'll probably luck out and get put in some store thats open while you are filling with a bitch of a manager and hate everyone though
fucked if i know, there are no robot women in australia
It really depends on how much income they got from centrelink. If it's their only source of income and they don't get more than 18200 a year I think it's actually impossible to have tax withheld on it due to how little the amount of money they get is. I have seen some rare cases where people get more than 18200, probably have kids and family benefits that ARE taxable.
go to ato.gov.au and search for fortnightly tax tables to see how much you have to "earn" or be paid to start withholding tax. Basically, if you earn a certain amount of money during that pay cycle, you will be taxed and money will be withheld, even if you don't work for the rest of the year and thus earn less than 18200.
That search term works for monthly and weekly too. Get acquainted, useful stuff.
Alright, thanks guys.
>you'll probably luck out and get put in some store thats open while you are filling with a bitch of a manager and hate everyone though
That's probably what'll happen.
>tfw spent the day downloading SFV and too scared to add people to play with on release
I fucking did it Robots I told her that I was fucking out that she and the baby were not my responsibility and that I offered love and got rejected no matter what I sacrificed for her and that baby. I also told her she will remember that Iw as there for her when no body else was not even the father or her mother (I got to her labor well over an hour before her mum showed up dispite me riding 3 hours to get to her after I dropped everything to ride right then and there) and she will carry that weight with her the rest of her life as she is complaining that she has no man to help her raise her child when I gave her everything she wanted and was ready to give up everything for her.
I feel fucking invincible right now is this what self confidence feels like?
Considering the system operation requirements, the role of interpreting legislation and the type of service offered, it's been considered and rejected multiple times. Contractors don't have the same standards, training, or requirements in their roles.
Ever handle myGov calls? They're the bane of my existence.
Yeah we have a direct link too (I deal with portability of payments, among many other things).
I avoid it, cause CustomerFirst might as well be called "big brother".
Yeah YAL startup loan got changed 01.01.16 and it becomes part of HELP repayment. Luckily we deal with the calls, as they need to apply for it to get it now, so we handle the questions.
20-25k on Centrelink? I feel like that'll be Carer's payment in a circumstance where it isn't a pension. I know FTB is non-taxable, and most social security pensions are.
>little bit satisfying
I've had orgasms less satisfying than those conversations.
People who leave their estimate at 60k and end up earning 90k because they think they'll get away with it are the worst kinds of people.
>"b-but you're the government you should know and fix it for us"
>Palm them off to you
It's ok, when I get people (mostly indigenous people) who don't know their TFN and want us to tell them, I shuffle them off to the ATO cause we can't legally provide it. Often I'm looking right at it - it's perverse enjoyment.
Here is why you don't want to do that.
The loans aren't static. They raise every year based upon the CPI which is based upon the cost of living. Every year you leave that loan sitting idle it accrues an increase in "value" over time to align it with the cost of living and keep it revelant. It rises with inflation.
Getting away overseas won't save you anymore. From 2017 you MUST pay the loan back with your foreign income, or you will face repercussions with the ATO. They did this because too many people were exploiting the system.
Not saying I agree with it, that's jus thow it is.
The more you know, bots.
>What's the point of living?
This is an individual question and if you don't have an answer then you should kill yourself. No memes. Just end it, my friend. No point dragging out your pain. The secret truth is that we should all do this, but few people are capable of recognising it, and of those few fewer still are capable of ending it. If you are, then by all means, get out while you're behind.
Actually, I don't really care. I'd care if I knew him or he was a pretty girl or something. Yeah, I'm heartless but I'm also honest which is more than you can say about most people.
Can chip in here.
Just waiting for some cunt from Medicare to jump in and we'll have some real advice going.
Most ISP (income support payments for people who think I mean internet service provider) don't earn over the threshold if it's their only income.
Getting more than $18 200 is pretty much impossible to achieve and have it taxable. FTB isn't taxable, and social security pensions are exempt (DSP, AGE etc.).
I feel like ISP customers are also working if they're getting over the threshold.
Please I got an internet gf though Okcupid (By trying to not fuck up talking so saying stuff like "Tell me about yourself" and "haha thats funny") and it went alright for a while like a year with me doing a 6 hour round trip to get her and she would spend a few days at my house but it ended because she was an idiot and didnt see what I was willing to offer and she spat on my love and left me for a Chad farmer douche bag and got knocked up and now is a single mum living at home at the age of 26 hahaha
She fucked up hard
The only reason I keep going is because I secretly think I can still change. But I'm getting older and time is running out, and each failure sucks away at my last embers of hope. There's no way I can take another 50 years of this, so suicide is pretty much inevitable I guess.
Because it's a good solution. You are extraordinarily biased towards because of a combination of upbringing and survival instincts. You are incapable of thinking logically about your life. You're not alone, obviously, but that doesn't make it any less retarded.
Hey, not dissing you man
>(By trying to not fuck up talking so saying stuff like "Tell me about yourself" and "haha thats funny")
So you were pretty neutral? I mean like you didn't try to make jokes and shit, just listened to her problems? How long from that until you started meeting for sexytime?
How do the ato know when you're doing the dodgy?
I'm 21 and have been audited twice now when doing my tax. I've been running an enterprise of sorts where I provide comfort to lonely people in exchange for donations (it's not prostitution it's all online), the money goes through my paypal into my bank acc.
Am I just unlucky or do you guys have access to bank history and know I'm doing something wrong?
>contractors don't have the same standards
I think this is a misconception. I won't lay down an argument about it but what I will say is that DHS phone lines are buckling under the pressure and have done so for years, and the gov won't spring for extra sites and employees so no chance of seeing it fixed soon.
myGov calls are a breeze. We verify a document, give them a code, tell them to enter the code and send them on their way in 4-8 mins depnding on how up-to-date their POI is. The most annoying part is dealing with ATO online because we can't access the website and see what they're looking at, at all, no emulator, no screenshots, nothing. They expect us to know exactly what they fucked up when they were lodging their tax return online (normally they didn't read anything at all, so you have to do the thinking for them, feels so blind).
I don't normally pry or ask, we do have the payment acronyms but they're three letters and some of them aren't very intuitive, we don't have the information in a readily available resource to check it out so I remain ignorant.
I might be confused here, but I think people apply for FTB or some kind of lump sum payment once a year and I've had a memory of problems to do with it. I think it's because alot of the time they haven't lodged their ITR yet, and if they have it's within 28 day service standard after their return is processed to have data processed by DHS. Also if they got FTB in a lump sum and had any debts with the ATO it would be offset to the debt AFAIK.
>worst kind of people
Speaking from experience, it will always catch up with you. You can't avoid tax if you have a paper trail, so make sure the paper trail lines up.
I've had rare encounter on the phone here and there but we have an indigenous line that we transfer them to, or give them the number. I don't remember it but it's a 6 digit 13 number in barracuda (if you have that).
How is cutting off all future possibilities a good move? You have no idea what will happen. You have no idea what will give you happiness or sadness. People are notoriously shit at predicting our own emotions, so hitting the quit button a quarter way into your only play through seems pretty fucking dumb.
It was like 2 months of letting her talk about herself and me just being nice like to saying "You look nice in X photo" or just giving small compliments and be not an asshole and people are normally open to talking.
Then again most women are horrible in this country
Its all about the first impression I find but then again I havent had sex in like 4 years+ so what do I know
>working to get over the threshold
very often this is the case.
Not illegal technically, but people don't realise they are going to get raped by a tax bill at the end of the FY. You may be able to clarify this for me, if you're on a DHS payment your payments get limited based on your income. Is it limited by how much you self report or is it actually automatically datamatched (doubtful)?
It's not illegal to work and cento at the same time, but it is a bad idea to not report your income properly lest you get a tax bill at the end of the FY.
>guy that wants to help you end your needless suffering is satan
rofl, the dna molecule has really done a number on humanity. you guys really have no idea what is going on here, in this life, do you?
happiness doesn't exist, there is only temporary reprieve from suffering. look up optimism bias. i think that if you were honest with yourself about the kind of things that can occur to a sentient organism on this planet you wouldn't be so blindly keen to stick around. remember anon, your messy end approaches, breath by breath. and the interim will be almost exclusivly pain and boredom
Your bank requires you to declare your TFN for your account, otherwise it has to withhold tax on interest. You may have declared the TFN. Regardless of whether you have or not, we have access to EVERYTHING because the banks answer to the ATO, so if we need to match your income to a person we can do that based upon the POI that the bank has for you without a TFN anyway.
As for the audits, I'm not trained in auditing, but I would presume that something to do with the income you've declared and what we see is actually coming into your accounts is maybe not lining up exactly. I don't really know about the restrictions and what would be triggering it, it's above my pay grade.
>buckling under the pressure
Couldn't agree more. Centrelink is getting a bunch of funding, so they're dealing with it by introducing casual roster APS3s. Infrastructure is another issue, but they're putting all their eggs in the myGov, self-service basket.
See I'm not sure if you're on the helpdesk, but I am, and I get the "why isn't it working" calls.
We get a background view of what they're doing, but we can't access myGov at all.
If you wanna write them down, I'll give them here:
>DSP/Disability Support Pension
>PPS/PPP/Parenting Payment Single/Partnered
>FTB/Family Tax Benefit
>CCF/CCI/Child Care Benefits (this also includes rebate.
If its a pension, its non-taxable. FTB and family assistance are also non-taxable.
FTB is calculated as a lump sum. They estimate their taxable income. They can chose to claim retrospectively as a lump sum after they've lodged, or can estimate their taxable income, get the sum calculated on that estimate and it gets paid in fortnightly installments.
We reconcile at the end of the FY - this is when they get their lump sum, and we check their income via ATO data link and if necessary, top them up or raise a debt.
Aren't you lucky. Ever heard of income management and BasicsCards?
I work with them. Every. Day.
13 numbers are all us.
Hey thanks for the insight into relationships. So autistic that this is useful to me.
One more question if you are so inclined: how did the conversation leading up to the first sex go like? Were you guys just talking about everyday stuff and suddenly decide "let's fuck" or was there some sort of build up?
Kinda touched on it here with FTB reco.
We do it two ways - the way I discussed with FTB is only with FTB, and its a weird and outdated system we keep for some reason.
We datamatch at the end of the FY automatically, or as needed manually.
For ISP, if they work, they're expected to report every fortnight. They report at the end of their entitlement period, and their payment is adjusted. We basically take their word for it, but everyone gets reviewed randomly (system generated thing) at some point, even when they're not on payments any more and either have to provide payslips or their NOA/tax year info.
If they're not reporting with us, they also get a debt. Some people genuinely think they'll get away with it.
>all eggs in myGov
The long term plan is to minimise the amount of paperwork done by all government agencies, I think the target is 50-80%, we get an alert every now and then. It costs a shitload of money to do paperwork and a shit load of man hours. It has nothing to do with trees, but I think trees are awesome and we should save those cunts, infact I'm going to go hug one after I wake up tomorrow.
Nah i'm not helpdesk but I could handle helpdesk enquiries. without a trouble. We can only assist as well, we can't access myGov. Also, people get so mad when they forget their PW and then permanently lock their account. They also have an inability to follow easy instructions to retrieve their passwords so it's infuriating.
Thanks a bunch for that man, i'll screenshot so I can check later on.
>income management and basics cards
I heard of them but I thought they were a meme. Must be a NT and Alice thing, I barely get calls from those areas. Sounds like a charming experience.
Saw earlier in the thread about the hold music and how we get it too KEK. We're told only two mins on the specialist line now otherwise NPE (non phone escalation) so that they get a callback. I'd ask if you guys do the same but I'm pretty sure I know the answer already.
I think one of the reasons that cento is so plagued with service delivery problems is that the entity itself doesn't generate its income at all, it relies on a budget handout for everything which means it's very constrained. Tax department, however, has one hand in the pocket of every man, woman, child, entity, trust, corporation, company, partnership etc... in the country. It can justify its own expenditure.
Bit unfortunate, bit backwards, but this is ausfailia after all. I'm moving to europe.
I've been making 20k min over what I've been declaring for the last 3 years, straight into my bank account. Can you venture a guess as to why it hasn't gone further than these audits?
If the ato does come after me is worst case I'll have to pay back what I didn't declare? What if I say they were donations, is there a donation tax?
I literally got a case of cider (Girls like sweet stuff) and we had a few drinks and eventually I worked up the courage to overcome my autisticness and I started getting a little touchy and began make outs then one thing lead to another we went into the bedroom and as soon as we hot the bed shit took off from there
Pretty much. With Centrelink it's a step further, hoping to get a bunch of people off the phones for simple stuff (FTB estimates, fortnightly reporting, etc.).
Like, the cost alone for the department in reporting calls is ludicrous.
>retrieve their passwords.
When they're locked out for good, and we tell them to make a new one (requiring a new email if they want it done quicker) we might as well have told them to go and extract their fingernails with rusty pliers.
I wish. They are pretty much NT and Alice, but WA as well, plus some select areas where they want to roll it out to white people lol.
To be fair, it's been effective at helping indigenous people manage their finances and not blow it all on crap, but I imagine it'll be worse in the suburbs.
Yeah, what people should start reconciling themselves to is that we're gonna do it as fast as we can, and that hold means a) we need help or b) you're an annoying twat. It'll last as long as it lasts.
I get people genuinely confused as to why their SO didn't call back when the call "dropped".
Also you're right on the money - the government doesn't want to dump money into a branch that is designed to hemorrhage taxes.
You know anything about that whole "ATO is going after multi-nationals" for taxes?
You have to be registered as a charitable organisation to accept donations and be tax exempt on that income. You may have survived surface level checks but you will eventually be caught, mark my words.
My advice is to either register with http://acnc.gov.au/ if you're eligible (protip: in this case, you're probably not) or lube your anus up for the long dick of the taxation law.
Probably worth saving some money for a rainy day to cover future liabilities, calculate how much tax you should have paid by comparing tax threshholds for the past three years to how much you earnt, how much tax you paid and how much you actually should have.
In the grand scheme of things the amount so far is trivial, when compared to some of the cases fraud officers deal with every day but this doesn't work in your favour. It will only make them more apathetic to your excuses about why you never paid it and how it shouldn't be counted as income.
This says that "gifts" are not generally considered assessable income however if you were using these donations to pay bills or eat food or anything else, it will be considered as income.
A gift would be something from someone like a family member and in a one-off occasion, rather than a form of income generated by a service you've provided.
Well it depends on who's managing you. If you're managed by Centrelink, be prepared to justify it. If you're managed by your own provider, they generally negotiate it all with you, send the data through to us and an SO/the system makes sure what you're reporting matches your requirements.
Cool, that sounds pretty doable. My problem would be getting a girl comfortable enough with me to want to have drinks in the first place. I'm just so fucking awkward, I don't blame girls for avoiding me.
Did you find you had to have similar likes/dislikes in order to connect, or is that not necessary? Did you have to be entertaining and interesting, or was being supportive enough?
Thank you for your help.
I've saved most of it, I try and only spent my real income but it all gets pooled into the same place, I should have just left it in my paypal account.
*lubes up* guess I'll be expecting you guys.
I find that when you get a girl talking about herself they are more happy to do that and when you need to talk about yourself it helps to have a funny story like a time you ended up in a Stupid situation due to drinking or just having fun (if you dont have one just make one up) dont take everything so seriously heck if you meet a girl online (Best way to get yourself used to girls or hell even a retail job)
just have an ice breaker ready like one of the ones I use is the time I woke up nude on a gold course when I was 18 wearing only my suit jacket and my left sock and had to walk down the main road back tot he holiday house my friends were at on monday morning in turros heads (True story btw got cock blocked that night and had god knows how much vodka)
>ATO gov sharing info
I really don't know the specifics of this. I am not trained in foreign income so I can't give you a straight answer. There is a possibility that this could happen, maybe it's a clause in the TPP or something like that? Or maybe we're going to get you to declare your earnings while overseas, who knows how they're going to implement it. I might try and find out on monday, you've made me curious.
Check this for foreign exchange rates info or call 132861 and ask for foreign come to be cold transferred to an internal team who knows more about both questions.
Sorry for the late reply, this question got buried.
Idk much about it mate, if it hasn't passed legislation yet it's gonna take a while for any details to trickle down. I don't think you'd be allowed to take assetts from an established entity. I'm not trained in capital gains tax yet. Probably have to call up the ATO and ask.
Sorry for late reply, post got buried and I was answering others.
I'm going to sleep guys, it's late as fuck. If there's any further questions here in the morning I'll answer them, but I also have to go thriftshopping in the morning. Also going to have to work out how to cope with another valentines year alone without drugs and alcohol ;_;
Nah jk I'll manage.
Main message for you all is to be very aware of your tax affairs and keep that shit in order.
Also, if you call up and have all your information ready to identify yourself on the phone we will love you.
>TFN (IS SUPER IMPORTANT HOLY SHIT)
>Address on file
^simplest way to identify yourself on the phones. Do the voice authentication, don't be a paranoid cunt, your voice isn't important and has already been recorded without you knowing it hundreds of times before. It just makes it easier to be identified.
Dude if you want help I can guide you though it I know its like hell the first time but you and every other robot are not beyond hope.
If you want list a contact point and I will help were I can mate