Post in this thread and ill tell you how will you meet the

Plz don't lie to me senpai

>>26424354
You both crash, she drops her books. You help her pick them up. Bam! Love.

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>>26424325
Okay fine, I'll bite.

>>26424325
OP please deliver

Or I will kill you.

>>26424325
I'm guessing the answer is that I already met her and blew any chances I had but let's get this over with

>>26424325
do me familia

Homeboy do me a solid, is it my oneitis?

>>26424383
She challenges you to a game of chess. You lost, i guess, but love has risen for you jest.

I dont fucking know how to rhyme.

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>>26424408
> You lost
Fucking blasphemy

>>26424325
I really really want to know op

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>>26424325
What about me nig-cunt?

>>26424325
Tell me please.

Also, am I lying when I check "I'm not a robot" in the captcha?

>>26424378
Does this mean I should start running into girls on purpose OP?

>>26424449

Please

Please tell me it's soon

>>26424449
>>26424458

Sorry m8 didn't mean to quote you, meant for OP here >>26424325

end your pathetic life you fucking faggot

>>26424458
>tfw I'm not OP

>>26424325
Going to be impossible for you to tell me how to meet my love. I only go to work, the grocery store where I just pick up the groceries I ordered online, and my house. Oh my office has an extremely strict no dating coworker policy.

>>26424386
You try to kill her. She kills your heart. And your dick.

>>26424387
You meet her in the afterlife, as a cute ghost girl. Now you can have spiritual sex forever.

>>26424390
"You are under arrest!" she says "For possession of my heart"
"Who the fuck are you?" you answer.
She kisses you.
People applaud.

>>26424405
No. Its that girl that is under your bed right now.

>>26424439
You didnt think that cockroach inside your house would turn into a qt girl out of nowhere. She flies to your arms and you feel your love go nuclear.

>>26424440
Your mom? The love of your life?
It might be more common than you think.

>>26424325

just fucking post a link to that lifelike sex doll discount site already you faggot

>>26424496
Oh shit. I'm no actor, but I'll take it. Pretty dramatic way to meet a girl

>>26424449
She is a fortune teller who offers to read your hand. And she discovers you are both destined to be married.

>>26424454
Yes.

>>26424458
Once you are 88, luck and love will come. Too bad she has alzheimers.

>>26424481
You mad at LOVE bro

>>26424488
You meet her on Omegle, fall in love and have a distance relationship. From time to time she shows you her boobs.

>>26424496
So, what you're saying is that I try and kill a girl, and then she fucks me? Sounds pretty kinky, I'll take it.

>>26424325

I'll try my luck. I've not been well lately, Anon. Your words will give me hope.

>>26424497
www.dolljointfetishabest.com

>>26424558
>Once you are 88, luck and love will come. Too bad she has alzheimers.

I can actually see this happening. Shit.

>>26424496
What if it's my oneitis under my bed?

>>26424325
posted

can probably prove you wrong too

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Why not.

Show me what you've got.

I'll take the bait
Tell me my fortune.

Alright, I need a good laugh.

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>>26424325
Alright anon, illuminate me.

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Me next
Blox

>>26424561
She is a funny girl that you meet on a walk and turns your life around. Full of quirks and very special, you fall completely in love... but she DIES. Pam. Manic pixie dream girl or whatever the fuck its called.

>>26424598
No love for you.

>>26424608
You never expected to participate in that expedition to the jungle. Oh my, a tribe. Twelve years old? Well, love has no age. You fucking pedo.

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Tell me Op. I'm tired of being lonely

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Please make it believable for someone who rarely leaves the house and never has any meaningful contact in any way.

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Alright fine I'll play along

sounds like a good time

>>26424660
more of whoever this is.

even if it's a trap i'd suck the trapcock because 2qute

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Amaze me Anon, I'm dying to know

>>26424325
pls be realistic

tell me fgit

>>26424611
You are a fish. She is hairy and with fangs, like a bear. Love blooms on a river.

>>26424621
Circuses are boring, but after the clown girl asks for your number when she sees you at the entrance, you start getting the excitement of it.

>>26424630
Desperate and in need of death, you walk into the Cavern Of Shadows. There, at the end of the tunnel, a hooded figure approaches.
"Are thou death" you ask "Hath come to take my life, and endless endeavours cut, through shadows of my luck"
"No, stranger" says the shadow figure "I am YOUR LOVE"
The cape is off. She is nude.
People applaud.

>>26424635
Are traps gay? You will have to ask yourself that after meeting him at the park.

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How about me?

>>26424325
Come on, anon. Give me something fun, please.

I'm very curious about this

>>26424733
>clown girl
Sounds neat

Thanks, fortune-teller.

>>26424660
Eventually, you learn to accept loneliness. Just when you do, she appears. At first you dont want nothing with her. So after a couple of dates you leave her. You sick bastard.

>>26424669
Penpal friend. Letters. Trip. Holidays. House. Talks. Nervousness. LOVE.

>>26424676
But she IS japanese. "Arigato-chan, robot-kun" she tells you "Omoshirou nandete sore?"
"I fucking hate you and your entire species" you answer.
Of course, she falls in love.

>>26424703
Your sister? The love of your life?
Its more common than you think!

Wait you dont have a sister?
Oh well.

>>26424705
You grow up, have a job, and live your life normally. Eventually have a friend or two, go to a meeting, and meet some girls. Realistically, you dont get to meet the love of your life. But maybe you get married with some girl, tho. A divorce is highly probable.

>>26424714
She beats you with a club and drags you to her vagina.

bleh

FUcksdgsd

>>26424325
How anon?
Just how?

I have no friends and zero social life. I won't be meeting anybody.

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okay OP
show me the future

TELL ME

>>26424558
Thanks for clearing that up for me Op, time to buy a helmet and some shin-pads.....

I doubt any woman would love me, but i'll at least try i guess?

>>26424766
You see a big blob of hair walking down the street. What the fuck is that? You approach it with fear. But then the hair parts, and inside there is a qt3.14, crying. Now go, ask her why is she crying. She wants to cry in your arms.

>>26424783
You get Missie Boredom. The most boring girl in town. She is always correct, dresses on a suit, and calls you "My associate." But you learn to enjoy it.

No she does not do anal.

>>26424799
You meet the perfect girl. Perfect toned body, beautiful hair, amazing green eyes. She listens to your problems and laughs at your jokes, she never leaves your side. You are in love.

Then you wake up.

>>26424826
The prince of an invading country challenges you to a sword battle. You manage to win, to his surprise, so he reveals you a secret. She is a GIRL, and now she wants your SWORD. And yeah i mean dick.

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>>26424822
FUCKING JAPANESE

>>26424657
>No love for you.
since I'll likely be getting an arranged marriage I can't ever hope to get out of, you're right

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>>26424822
>At first you dont want nothing with her. So after a couple of dates you leave her.

Well shit. Thanks I guess

>>26424836
Im sorry mate, you dont make it. You die in the next two years.

>>26424836
"How?" she asks you, glancing at what you did "How did you do do this?"
You smile.
"I guess i only needed to trust myself."
Tears roll down her cheeks.
"You need to kill it, robot. Kill it."
But its too late.

>>26424851
A cat is fine too.

>>26424872
Year 201X. World War III incoming. Luckily for you, the army now accepts females, and there is one who is itching to meet you. Also you both get killed.

>>26424878
Your new boss, a WOMAN? How awful! But she IS kinda cute, tho.

>>26424900
She doesnt love you. She just finds you nice to be with, and so do you. Surprisingly, it works perfectly for both.

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>>26424822
>Penpal friend
Wh-who wants to be my new penpal friend?

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>>26425002
>Year 201X. World War III incoming. Luckily for you, the army now accepts females, and there is one who is itching to meet you. Also you both get killed.
how romantically tragic

>>26425002
>she doesn't love you
No one ever does. :(

>>26424325
Gimme a sick tale

tell me please

This ought to be interesting.

May i have some hope as well anon?

please make mine a boy

You've got a lot of work to do for all these anons. Me included. Me first.

>>26425078
You are broke, and you try to steal. But she discovers you, and chases you, and you fall.
"Ah ah" she says "I know what you are thinking. Is she the love of my life or not? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this are D-Cup Breasts, the most powerful breasts in the world and would blow your dick clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

You do.

>>26425106
on a dark and distant night
the end seems close
yet suddenly light
to your eyes disclose

she has appared at last
with a whisper melting your heart
and though it seems to fast
love between you both is an art

>>26425126
"I cook pasta" she says
"I have zero redeeming qualities" you answer.
Nothing more was needed.

Tell me please
Saludos cordiales

>>26425226
>Dirty Harry reference
Can't believe I actually paused TESIV for this

Please, I must know.

- Posted from my SONY Playstation 4 Entertainment System

>>26424325
A great prophet has appeared before the people of /r9k/, praise be unto him!

Tell me something sad.

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I'm a handholdless, kissless,hugless and no relationship virgin who is 22 years old. Not even ugly either.

Try your best shot.

>>26425146
You decide to become a serial killer. You kidnap highschoolers and murder them because you are tired of life. But that girl asks you the question, that question that has been plaguing thinkers for centuries:
"What doth life?"
You forgive her life. And love blooms.

>>26425156
"No homo" he says, just before getting his mouth full with your cock.
"Who the fuck are you and why are you on my bedroom?" you answer.
But it does not matter.
U gay son.

>>26425197
The supermarket is especially crowded. You are on the fast lane, and there is an old man in front of you, rambling about dumb shit. You roll your eyes. A girl at your side laughs. Yep. Is just as you believed. You die alone.

>>26425286
>hating on Clint Eastwood

>>26425299
You go to Las Vegas and get wasted. You know how this ends.

PD: She is Chinese.

How will i meet my beloved husbando? My heart is patient but the feeling of loneliness stil lingers...

>>26425228
Ayyyy chihuahua. Cruza el muro, y detras, esperando, veras a una mexicana que llorona. Ella es el amorcito de tu vidita wey compadre.

>>26425338
A great goddess has appeared in your life! She is a LOVE creature that feeds on your semen to live.

But if you stop fucking her for just one day, he explodes. Good luck with that.

>>26425381
She is been gone since yesterday
oh, you didnt care
never cared for yesterdays
fancies in the air

No signs of mistery
she laid golden in the sun
no broken harmony
but you lost your way
she had rainbow eyes
rainbow eyes

>>26425387
Nigga you still have good chances. You will meet her at your 30s. Remember to hide that you are a virgin. She will be very jealous. Her hips are wide. 7/10.

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>>26424325
Tell me
Comment wasn't original

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Ronery asian-australian whos depressed and has social anxiety and likes dorky girls with acne and glasses and bad haircuts

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>>26425397
Thank you for the nice serial killer story anon.

Ha 2 late m9, already met her, she dumped me a week ago.
Pretty much want to kill myself. Topkek.
>inb4 try suicide

Go for it fucker

>>26424325
I dunno give it a whirl

The ouija board said it'd be this year

It has never lied. Tell me

>>26425469
The explosion killed everybody. Only you and a burnt girl remain. Her legs dont work anymore. But you make your relationship work.

>>26425492
Does that qt librarian seems interested in you? In think she does. Ask her for her favorite book. You will discover she has good taste.

>>26425703
Suicide is not the option. But youll never return with her.

>>26425795
Why did you have to detonate that nuclear bomb? Now everyone is dead.

Wait this has nothing to do with love.

>>26425812
The ouija was being controled by a hot demon girl. Wet dreams and invisible blowjobs will come to you but only if you post FUCK SUCCUBI

>>26425983
FUCK SUCCUBI

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>>26425983
Combination of Hanako and Emi
I am happy

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Pls I need dis
I just want a gf to talk to and hug
That is it

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Maybe I'm autistic, but I believe OP may have special powers. Also check em

>>26424325
Oh god, oh god, OP you have to help me or I will definitely an hero. Within 5 years, definitely. Please tell me where I will meet my 3d waifu?

Will she love me in return?

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>>26424588
> once you are 88
>88

Mother of doubles

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>>26426188
Check em ^
[Insert original comment here]

Give me my fortune mong

why not? i have nuttin to losee ,

>>26426188
Its the end. You are desperate. You only crave for death as you slit your wrist, in tears. But then she appears.
"Anon!" she shouts "Anon, im sorry! Ive been watching you all this time. I loved you, but i was too shy! But i really love you! We will be together, right? Anon? Anon!"

>>26426204
Doubles consume your life.
You only think numbers. You eat two dinners, two cups of wine, you sleep two hours a day. When you mother calls, you shout "DOUBLES!" because her number ends in 77.

Whats that?
Look there, in the distance.
Are those...

Twins?

Oh my,

>>26426217
She is a tsundered redhead with twintails who calls you "I-idiot" and blushes every time you breathe.

Or a normal, average girl that digs animu and stands your shit.

Take your pick. But dont have more than one waifu, or it will destroy your laifu,

>>26424325
Will I remain alone, anon?

>>26426360
>She is a tsundered redhead with twintails who calls you "I-idiot" and blushes every time you breathe.
I hate redheads though. Am I too picky? I would like someone who would worship me though.

>Or a normal, average girl that digs animu and stands your shit.
I am fully erect.

>Take your pick. But dont have more than one waifu, or it will destroy your laifu,
An hero please.

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>>26424325
I'll never find real love, but let's hear what you think OP

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>>26424325
Do mier

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DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME

>>26424325
Let's see OP's powers.

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>>26426360
Th-thanks

Check em again tho

Will I find her? Will she have cute feet?

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I-i wonder how
Please be true

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pls be orignil

>>26424325
I will probably stay alone my whole life, but go for it OP.

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>>26426477
>>26426188
>>26426055
>>26425299
>>26424900
FUCK
I'm loving these doubles

>>26426301
It seems you are out of years to leave. And i think you know what it means. It means you are shit out of luck.

>>26426316
This quirky, brown haired girl with braces aproaches. She smiles at you and you realize she is kinda cute.
"Can i gently bite your balls, anon?"
It seems that you have nut to lose after all.

>>26426403
No. Not after cloning becomes legal, at least.

>>26426438
The system is on. You have your protein pills, engines start to go.

You are far above the earth. Ground control calls. Its a girl.
"You really made it!"
"Yeah. The stars look very different today."
She lets out a gasp of admiration.
"You know, Anon. I really respect you. Once you come back to earth, would you like to... I dont know, have a dinner?"
"Of course" you say.

You feel very still. Far above the moon, the earth looks blue.

>>26426441
Would you believe Death feels lonely from time to time? And she kinda likes you.

Dont call her boney.

>>26426443
You are the worst. Everyone hates you. As you walk on the streets, they shout "Anon the accursed is coming! Anon the accursed is coming!"

But she is with you all this time. Your guiding light. Your true mentor.

The waifu sword.

>>26426548
>No. Not after cloning becomes legal, at least.
So I'll get to clone myself and fuck myself in my own ass? Now that you mention it, I could get into that.

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>>26424325
Dazzle me with your wonders Oh Great and powerful Oz!

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>>26426548
>The waifu sword.
FUCKING YES
WOOOOOOOO
THANKS ANON

OP do me next

>>26426548
If I'm gonna be in space, it'd be for the sake of interstellar conquest, not some moon research.

>>26426606
>OP will butter up and stick you like the squealing pig.
On that note, I would also like to participate in this meaningless exchange of text.

>>26426633
>OP will butter up and stick you like the squealing pig
Sounds like a fun time.

>>26426458
YO, nigger, this rap will tell
the story of how in love you fell
for this girl, she is so great
too bad that she is deaf
you dont care cause you got nothing interesting to say af

>>26426477
Yes. But the first time you tell her about your feet fetish, she cries. She is a fragile flower.

>>26426479
"Anon" she says "The truth is... I have a head fetish. Could you pat my head?"

Dont lose your head over her. You are heading for trouble. Just go ahead and do it.

>>26426501
She is a coke addict.
"The empress is me!" she proclaims "And nobody will change that!"
"What."
"You know my secret! Do you wanna make me angry?!"
"What"
"Die!"
But she trips and you both kiss.
Its the start of a beautiful phone related romance.

>>26426504
Not your whole life. You get to bang the love of your life, but it lasts 4.54 minutes until the plane crashes.

I'll never have a gf

>>26424325
I'm desperately alone

OP please do me next

For the love of God

Please

>>26426655
D-d-don't make fun of my g-grammar mistake senpai.

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Fuck it, I've got nothing to lose anymore. How do I meet my future GF, OP?

>>26426715
I wasn't, anon. I was just projecting my homoerotic fantasies on a bunch of imaginary friends on a Tanzanian Pooper-Scooper forum.

no homo

>>26426664
>bang until death
sounds neat

are there any survivors?
i hope im bigguy enough

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>>26426664
>she is deaf
See, now, I'd rather date the deaf than the blind. The blind will have a messy house and let's face it, they're not going to get all the crumbs.

>>26426773
They've got to make some really unattractive sounds though.

>>26424325
Alright op tell me.

>>26426590
She is a hot magician in stage. She asks for a volunteer and you accept. She gets you into a wooden cage, throws a blanket at you, and you wake up married to her and with three kids.

Magic. She aint gotta explain shit.

>>26426606
Its my female clone.
"Im OP" she says "Ill do you."

You have good taste.

>>26426684
Indeed you wont. But a DOMINATRIX? With toned ABS?

Now we are talking.

>>26426688
You go to a convent to pray, tired of your meaningless existence. A cute nun in practice appears and sees you crying. After a while, she asks you about your troubles.

She wears pantyhose.

>>26426737
To meet your future GF, you must travel to the past. She is the braided villager crying on the dry well.

>>26424325
please tell me senpai familia

Tell me how it goes

I've got a paper to write. Maybe this will give me motivation enough to leave this site. I would like one of these story prompts.

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p-please??


originality is stupid, fight the system

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>>26426819
>To meet your future GF, you must travel to the past. She is the braided villager crying on the dry well.

Wtf does that even mean? I've gotta break the laws of relatively to get pussy? Guess I'm gonna be a kissless, handheldless virgin for the rest of my life.

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pls let her be saber

I'm drunk and I'll accept whatever fate comes to me. Do it faggot

Currently finishing high school. How do I find her OP?

>>26426890
You get to have a
fantasy adventure

>>26426800
She just works with you.

>>26426823
A ninja girl burst into your house
"You! You killed my entire clan! For years ive trained my entire life, devoting myself for vengeance! My path is the path of revenge! You will pay for all the souls you sent to hell, you damned monster!"
"You got the wrong guy"
"Oh."
LOVE

>>26426837
You wouldnt leave your house in years. You only dream, of doors, of eggs, of strange events that you feel once transpired in your past.

Then, you jump of the balcony.

>>26426854
You finally decide to go to the hairdresser. She is a girl and you both get to talk as she takes care of your hair. The conversation flows perfectly. After leaving, you get yourself the courage and ask for her number. Oh yes.

Hope you arent bald, senpai.

>>26426885
This girls wants to be the most normal girl ever. 6/10, brown eyes, brown mid lenght hair, no special qualities. She dresses in pants and simple shirts. No earrings, barely uses make up.

Become the normie, and you will have her heart.

>>26426949
I don't fucking like fantasy adventure. Sci-fi, space adventure, or bust, faggot. Fucking doomed me to swords and shit, and sub par medical care.

>>26426903
No, she is Caster.

>>26426911
A bus crashes you.
You wake up in an hospital. Everyone cheers that you survived... except one girl. She seems to hate you.
You manage to talk to her.
"Why do you hate me?"
"Dont you realize it?" she says, tears on her eyes "Everyone talks to you now because they are selfish. You dont belong to this world."
Then you realize you are dead. You are a ghost, and everyone is trying to stop you from going to the after life.

The shock makes you wake up. You are on the hospital bed, alone. You have been in comma for months. Everyone at the bus died, your survival is a miracle. On the newspapers, you see the faces of all the dead passengers. The girl is there, of course.

>>26426946
Walk 30km north, from wherever you are. She is there. Talk to her.

>>26427003
And I don't fancy hairdressers, but you take what you can get.

>>26426992
Like we work in the same place?

>>26426992
>Become the normie

Shit nigger

>>26424325
Struggling trurobot here. Tell me how please.

Thanks in advance.

>>26424325
Just frick my Shitanite slab upwards

>>26424325
I'd love to know, I never go outside.

>>26424325
tell me about niggy

>>26424325
Tell me pls. I like this thread.

Please tell me

>inb4 you'll never find her

>>26427385
you'll never find her

Although there's a chance that she might find you if you get off the doritos-dust covered couch, wipe the cheese wizz off your toes, and go outside.

>>26427153
When evening comes
she will run to you
like whispered dreams
your eyes cant see

soft and warm
she will touch your face
a bed of straw
against the lace

you believed
you catch the rainbow
right away
to the sun

sail away
on keeps of wonder
but life is not a wheel
with changes made of steel
so bless you

>>26427202
"ALLAHU AKHBAR!" she shouts. But then she sees YOU. And her eyes widen with LOVE.
"Wai-"

>>26427205
But you will go, INSIDE.
Inside of her.

Get it?

Actually you dont get to meet someone until you are 47.

>>26427227
She is a hippie, and tries to turn your life for the better. At least her armpits are shaven.

>>26427336
Is that... a spider? A womanly spider?
I dont know man, fuck this. Dont follow this prophecy. She seems dangerous.

Yes, she IS cute. Yeah. But man, SPIDERS. Are you sure? I dont even know where her pussy is. She might even eat you or idk.

Ok, you go for that.

>>26424325
give me the deets

File: 1413429154851.gif (805KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

805KB, 500x281px

But will she be able to see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

How do you know I haven't met them already and instead they just forgot about me because I'm a pathetic shit?

Honestly this new job working nights for minimum wage and spending 3/4 on commuting is the end of me. Gonna quit after first paycheck. JUST- end it. I'm convinced ilk be alone in life. It's hardwired into me. Autistic faggot obese loser dropped out twice psychiatric problems its almost like I want all of this negative shit.

>tfw you will never discover the science behind room temp superconductors.

OP here,
sorry bots but im heading to bed

if the thread is alive when i wake up ill continue giving prophecies, through i doubt that will be the case

LOVE for you all

>People still believing in the 'love of your life' meme.

Come the fuck on just let it go already and come to accept how your life is. It's a 1 in a million that some random event will strike you by and change your life.

The rest you have to actively go out and get done yourself, but that's why we're here, we don't want to.

>>26427627
What a nice thread, what a friendly OP.

>>26424325
Alright OP.
Let see if this happen.

>>26424325
Will OP delivar?

OP make another thread tomorrow so I can get my gf prophecy

>>26424325
I might have already met him, but they're a bit of a normie

File: [.jpg (113KB, 444x750px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 444x750px

>>26424325
Okay, I think I will give this a try

PLS

ORIGINAL COMMENT

>>26424325
Unlikely. But what the hell, I'll give it a try.

>>26424325
I need to know, I REALLY NEED TO KNOW!

>>26424325
Tell me senpai, please tell me

Okay rolling..
(I am bored and this intrigues me.)