Never date a femanon. I met one on this website a year ago and

You know what to do, post her nudes

>>26424231
ITT: things that never happened outside of OP's mind

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>>26424272
You think this is a joke? I had to shave my head last week because it was falling out in tufts. Look at my fucking forehead. LOOK AT MY FUCKING HIPS.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

>>26424270
I don't have any, she had access to my computer and wiped it clean, just left some interracial cuck porn as my desktop wallpaper and a typed out note.

>>26424340
You could always kill her.

>>26424340
You want my honest opinion, I laughed pretty fucking hard when i saw this.

Seriously fuck that Bitch, This is a Story for the Grandkids if you ever have them, Which you better have. Pass on the Genetic code, And the story of how you got turned into a Fat Bald Smelly guy with Legit Tits onto future generations.

You will have to start working out asap to turn this shit around, You should do this. And the next time you see her, bust her fucking head off a wall with your developed muscles... Also your Pectoral muscles will be to die for.

If she left a note why not just go to the police?

>>26424403
This. She's basically been poisoning you, this is something people go to prison for.

>>26424396
i was a virgin before i met her... i'm not laughing brother

>>26424403
she has dirt on me. i dont wanna go to prison

>>26424456
>dirt on you
What the fuck

>>26424518
i have an illegal fetish

>>26424526
Which is what

Is it on your computer?

Can you give a hint?

>>26424456

Ok well tell us what dirt she has on you, Let us analyze it seriously. Sorry for Mentioning my Kekels at this but sometimes you just got to be honest, You might benefit from doing the same in your situation...Depending on what that Dirt is.

You would likely be treated by Professionals and be put onto a testosterone program or something likewise.

SHOW THE NOTE

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>>26424590
Wait wait wait...Priorities man Priorities... So about this Illegal fetish?

>>26424518
>i have an illegal fetish
Oh boy. This is the part where we see if OP deserves this all or not.

So Op? Are you going to let us tell you its perfectly fucking Normal, And that your just being retarded? In regards to your "Illegal Fetish"

>>26424231
I doubt if this is true, but if it is I have a feeling OP deserved it somehow. That kind of shit does not happen for no reason.

Please Op, Please just tell us. Release the Vice like Jew Grip of death you have on our Balls and let us know!

>>26424231
how does onion and garlic make you smell bad?

>>26424231
>have tits

well post them homo

>>26424916
>>26424922

Don't scare him you fucking Faggots, We want to hear his Illegal Fetish. Judgment must wait until then.

>>26424922
Dubs hath spoken

>>26424953
cp?
what else is there

>>26424953
It's illegal im not going to mention it and get vanned faggot

>>26424456
>she has dirt on me.

Pedophile

>>26424989
bestality

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>>26424997
Why even mention in the first place you dummy?

Op here, I'm a massive fag

>>26425029
because i cant go to the police beause she'll fucking blackmail me

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holy fuck I wish I were a girl so I could do this much /M I S C H I E F/, fucking kek

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>>26425042
Lol, idk what to tell ya bub. Could you post the note plz?

>>26424997
Banned?...Mods, We beg of you here forth to give this Man Immunity to your Wretched Liberal Ways and Permit him to Reveal Upon us his most Sacrilegious Perverse Crimes.

There your all clear, Now give us the Low down, What is this Dirt? The chances are its nothing.

She would have to have proof.
You HAVE the note

Does she have real actual proof of your fetish?

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>>26425074
Something's telling me you're a newfriend :^)

>>26425077
This guy has a Point, Unless your Cum contains Staining Dye then your all clear. But seriously, I cant sleep tonight Unless you tell me what you Get off to.

>>26425102
I'm fairly Recent, I just need to know his Kink. Is that such a crime?

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>>26424340
just lift brah
become fukin zeez brah

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>>26425072
here you go\
fgdhijgskfhd

>>26425131
Nah, it was the fact that you don't know what vanned means. But I do wanna know too, I mean, you already posted on the internet that you have an illegal fetish. Dude, you're getting V& anyway.

>>26425077
what if they say i typed it out?

also i dont know if she has proof. she couldve taken pictures of my computer before she wiped it

Is it vore? Are you a necrophiliac? Other than that all I can think of is cp

>I figured out she was cucking me
what was your first clue
>I am bald, fat, poor and smell like shit
oh lol

>>26425237
>what was your first clue

i read her texts while she was in the bathroom

>I am bald, fat, poor and smell like shit
her fault

>>26425172
>new porn folder
Even if she implanted this, and if its your fetish or not, you do have the right to go to the police. I'm quite sure they'll make sure she gets her comeuppance first before questioning you about formentioned fetish. Even then, the only way she can bring this up if it is somehow related to the case.

>>26425193
>vanned
Oh, Vanned. Like by some sort of Institution or something similar. Op you will be fine, Tell us about this Fetish of yours.

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>>26425258
its a cuck folder with pictures like pic related

>>26424231
>being retarded
lmfao desu senpai

PLEASE OP THE FETISH!

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>>26425172
>Femanon clearly doesn't like OP
>Despite this she chooses to live, cook for and probably fuck OP for two months

I still don't understand why

>You deserve it
Did you do something to piss her off?

>>26425172
give us her number and email

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>this retard desperate to find out about "the fetish"
He's into fucking Cheese Pizza, there's nothing else that he'd be this fucked about. Why he didn't keep it encrypted away from his "girlfriends" prying eyes is beyond me but he's a retarded cuck so I guess it makes sense.
>>26425375
>I don't understand it
Women. Any women fucked enough to go on this board will pull shit like this, just look at the shit Mystery did when she was a thing. Women on /r9k/ are absolutely mentally fucked. They're like the guys who post the extremely misogynistic shit and truly believe that they need to destroy every roasties life.

>>26425375
Sounds like a fetish. I saw someone post a picture of a big fat guy done up all greasy like a roast pig with an apple in his mouth posted here like, two days ago, and some stuff about wanting to be a "pig girl".

Maybe OP just didn't play ball and she got mad? Maybe it was supposed to be a fetishy transformation.

>>26425407
who is Mystery and what did she do

>>26425434
>being this fucking new
Look it up, if I go into detail we risk losing the entire thread.

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>>26424340
>WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

Honestly, pick up the pieces and improve yourself. Eat better, work out, strive hard in your job, all round improve yourself, if she was putting hair remover on your shampoo then you're probably not naturally bald and you will recover your hair over time.

Don't settle for some petty revenge like posting her phone number, or getting physical or something. Strive for that hard crushing revenge where a few years down the line, she sees you posting on social media with your 10/10 girlfriend, rocking abs wealth, yeah it takes longer but it's so much better. She will always be some crazy mediocre looking cumdumpster, but you have the potential to be anything.

>>26425498
Ur a Fag snakeskins up with for years years and of itself .....and with your company family members is

>>26425486
pleeeaaasseee

>>26425498
>Don't settle for some petty revenge like posting her phone number

this is gay, post her fucking phone number. we'll get her for you

>>26424518
>he showed a girl his CP collection
>he has an unencrypted CP collection

>>26424340
post a timestamp this could be a random pic

fucking doxx that sloppy cunt. but then both of you will get found on fb. both fired from jobs.

lots of pizza.

and ex gf wll tell world of fetish

I don't know why OP doesn't kill her.

>>26425486
man how do I look for it, I'm typing "mystery" but of course the only thing that appear are mysteries of 4chan and that bullcrap, aren't there any specific keywords to find it?

>>26424526

Lie, if she says you have CP show them how she put cuck porn(DO NOT REMOVE IT) and say you don't know much about laptops/computers so weren't able to remove it and any CP pin it on her, she's psycho they'll buy it and you can just say she's probably saying that to get off free

>Women on 4chan are shit
Whoa, you don't say?
Why the fuck would you even do that OP?
How fucking desperate are you?
The women on here are literally devils.

You could literally sue her for poisoning you and ruining your quality of life.

unless she's poor, in which case, sorry bruh

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/b/tard here

>>26426372
Same here. Keks have been had.

>>26426372
What's up man, gimme some of that fuckin popcorn. I'm here for the show, too

>>26426372
Same nigga.
Tell us OP, we'll raid her and deliver pizzas and shit. C'mon quit being a fag

Your very welcome, Now be nice and give him your Support. And get that Fetish out of him /b/rothers

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i seriously hope all of this is true, because i'm having a great laff over here

>>26424231
OP, what's the deal? You being bald, fat, poor, and smelling like shit is your fault. You're the cuck who supported some retard Stacy then let her find your pizza (side note, you're already fucked for being a pasty doughy cheese pizza lover, stacy or no stacy).

>>26426486
/b/ro samesame

That note about the new porn folder

drag all your child porn into it

go and get your shampoo bottle, your breakfast and keep it safe for later

then go get a lawyer and explain the situation

then you two will go to the police after the lawyer coaches you on how to answer their questions

>>26424340
You could always sue her for personal damages and assault. If she left a note, you have proof. Get a blood panel asap to confirm the estrogen poisoning though.

Then go to a lawyer and ask him for your options.

>>26426508
this is /r9k/ you fucking sloppy retard

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>>26426518
Wait, we dont know if he's a pedophile, maybe he has this kind of porn

welcome to /r9k/ /b/tards hope you enjoy your stay

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threads like this are the reason why i still come to /r9k/

>>26424231
>Whats a quick painless suicide method?
I'm gonna be the only one that answers his question?
if you have a stove that burns monoxide carbon you can turn it on in a closed room, take a nap, and never wake up

>>26424340
Holy hell it's real.

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>>26424340
Damn bro she fucked your shit up real good . What'd you used to look like?

We are trying to help OP, come back

>>26424231
report her to the police and let her rot in prison

>>26424456
restore your computer to system default, basically the factory setting. Then contact your internet provider or google your internet provider and find out how long they keep your ISP logs, then once how many months pass report her to the police with the note. She won't have any evidence of you.

>>26426910
a text file on a computer is not evidence, he could have written it himself.