Do you ever get the feeling like you're not that awkward, but the world is just forcing you to be awkward? Do you ever feel like everyone else is just trying to con you into taking responsibility for their own awkwardness? Like you just can't assert your own suaveness, so everyone just dumps their awkwardness onto your lap?
It seems like most of the time, I'm not even the awkward person. Other people are awkward, but somehow I'm always the fall guy. Everyone projects their awkwardness onto me. I'm sick of it. I feel like I'm just an awkwardness trash-bin.
Anyone else starting to realize this? Anyone else trying to take a stand against all the glibness in the world? Is the only answer to just stop giving a shit about everything?
Yeah, sorry man, a lot of apathy and a few rare moments of real caring is all I've been feeling for the past decade. To be honest, it's difficult to not care, this will sound really bad, but if you force yourself not to react it will become second nature.
Or maybe you could just assert yourself in the situation more, I don't know, I'm struggling with this too, man.
I relate to this post so much. It's gotten to the point where Im starting to refuse to speak to anyone I have known for awhile because new people are the only ones who treat me like a human being. My "friends" treat me like I'm some sitcom character and don't let me get away with anything.
The worst part is you cant even stand up for yourself because everybody will just laugh at it and think you getting angry is just another example of your strangeness. Once they get it in their head that you are someway, literally every action you take will manage to reinforce that image of you.
because people are afraid of themselves.
I remember as a kid I'd say "awkward" like the faggot follower I was, trying to be popular until one day I said it around an older, wiser friend and he said
"it's only awkward if you make it."
Being older now, I realized how true it was. People project their insecurities onto others. People need constant validation for their social appearances and efforts and appeals. Not everyone but generally. I can be quiet around others and others can be quiet around me as long as we've paid our respects to each other. That's all that matters. Don't need to force anything. Just be courteous while still being natural.
> My "friends" treat me like I'm some sitcom character and don't let me get away with anything.
I hate this, I'm close to just dropping these people because it's like they're deliberately keeping me like this, almost like if I started to act more comfortable and confident they'd be intimidated
It's the snide remarks that really get to me, and not just the way friends insult each other because I've had that my whole life and it's never bothered me, this is different
Just little put downs, like
>anon, talking to people, lol
I'm so glad I'm leaving soon
People at work have literally referred to me as "Sheldon" and often treated me as such because I don't have a normie hivemind mentality.
>"Oh but anon, Sheldon's really cool"
Cunts can go fuck off.
Jesus dude, I know all about being a sitcom character. My friends all treat me like I'm some enigma. You get pigeon-holed into become a character, and it starts to become your identity.
After awhile, nobody want to know about "You", they only care about the character. You're just entertainment to them. And as soon as I stray away from the character, I begin to feel like I'm not filling my role.
You wear the mask long enough, you become the mask.
My whole life has been awkward so I'm assuming it's probably me and not everyone else. I've gotten so used to being the awkward one in most interactions that even if it's the other person, I think it's somehow my fault.
It's like normies have the pathological inability to see people in any other terms but their favourite TV character. Like they're literally unable to view people who aren't like them as human beings, but only as caricatures that exist for their entertainment.
this is frighteningly similar to my situation
>tfw someone I thought was a close friend told me "you're good for making people laugh, don't ruin that image" when I was drunkenly complaining about my life
I know this a little bit different, but it's on my chest.
>get a new job
>it's nothing special but it's the best job i've ever had
>because of bad life problems since graduating school, settling down at this job for a while would be a great thing in my life
>anxiety, insecure, unsure, social spaghetti, burned out, the works
>do a good job and everyone seems to like me
>everything is going better then expected
>now two weeks in
>people start asking questions about myself
>my manager decides to ask
>"Are you going to college?"
>(lie, I hated school) I just haven't yet
>"Don't you want to be somebody?"
>(after hesitating some more) I don't really have an answer for you
>They just give me this look like there is something wrong with me
>Holy shit this look on their face
I just can't pull this social shit off. Here I am finally doing something productive and my fucking manager tells me to my face it's not good enough. However, if I was skilled socially, I know I could have turned it around in a way that actually made me seem even better. But no, now this person who should only be worrying about my performance now respects me less due to my awkwardness, even though they asked the fucking question.
Just work and get paid. That's all you're there for. You're there for yourself, not for them. Remember that and keep your focus. In time they'll learn to respect your work ethic.
If anyone asks you about college again, just say something like, "I'm not interested in going right now.", or "I'm still thinking about what I want to do."
>"Don't you want to be somebody?"
>"I'm happy enough with the way things are going right now. Maybe I'll do something later when the time's right."
I doubt they really care that much about why you're not going to college.
I'm glad that I'm somehow in the process of losing my thoughts about all of this.
Today when I was outside I barely had any thoughts at all. The city noises were so clear and everything felt weird, kind of like a videogame.
Drop them. It's better to be alone than with people who don't respect you. Very calmly, back out from their lives, decline their invitations, etc... Be sure you're not just over-reacting or being to sensitive. Sometimes friends are there to remind you that you're not growing as a person.
That's my plan. Today two of them got into this spat, and kept trying to get my attention to get me involved to take a side. I ignored them the best I could until they literally walked up to me.
My fucking anxiety and fight or flight kicked in and I just wanted to avoid the situation entirely. Holy shit I just want everything to be calm and happy, not have to feel the need to be tough and defend myself socially just to make it.
jesus christ this is too true
the only reason I haven't stop giving a shit completely is because every blue moon someone takes the fall for me. The problem is if I try to stand up and say how I do it so much more than anyone else I come of as greedy