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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 114
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Weird dreams

>nailing a qt doggy style
>pull out
>my testicles are hanging out of my torn scrotum
>inspect ballsack
>ballsack is made out of KFC chicken skin
hello rato

original commento
hello rato senpai
Hello rato

>wake up
>go to Mcd's
>be devilish and browse 4chan in public
>everyone crowds around
>realise of a dream
What is life
Bonjour Ratatouille!
Hello Rato
>walking in the woods
>a giant boar charges at me
>I grab it by the tusks and snap his neck
>its corpse starts talking and says some really important stuff
>I wake up and forget what it said
Fuck me, I had an encounter with my spirit animal and I forgot what it revealed me, that's why I'm still a kissless virgin
>playing pokemon
>about to catch my legendary
>fag that stole my gameboy in elementary school shows up and steals my legendary
fuck you brain I thought we left that in the past
>not single
>madly in love
>every day is happiness
>wake up
>die inside
hallo rato
Hello rato

You motherfucker
Hello rato

konnichiwa, ratto-san

>in a parking lot
>an old couple I don't recognize say they're my grandparents and tell me to get in the car cause we're leaving
>go along with it and get in the car
>the interior of the car is made of human skin
>the driver door opens
>weird fleshbeast with stick-like appendages comes at me and starts sniffing my face. It looks like the faggotron from that old spore thread on /v/.
>wake up

I've also had a few gay dreams too
I had a dream last night that I was held prisoner by an autistic woman who wanted to use me for sex. It was scary.
como esta senor ratto

>be 20
>talk in Tagalog with cousin and fem cousin
>talk about stuff
>start saying gibberish
>everything I say gets auto-translated to a dialect
>I'm the only one that seems confused
>words I say seem to have a pattern
>realize its Norwegian language
>look at cousin and say you understand me
>looks at me and casually says yeah
>asks how
>cousins laugh
>older man cousin says they did something in my youth that made me trilingual
>asks cousins how do
>before they finish talking
>wake up

fuckin ruined my day
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>really strange dream of a closet with a rag doll inside that lasts for 10 seconds
It's odd, i've had this same dream before when I was younger, what's even more odd is that nothing happens, it's just an image of a doll in a closet.

fuggit I too almost always forget the dream when I wake up. if I do remember, it's not the entire dream just 1/4 of the dream

same concept nigga. mine's at the airport with a 6/10 qt randomly bumping into
hello rato

The only weird dream I have was all pitch black.
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>at the movies
>walk into the theater
>it's completely empty
>except for my childhood love (I dream about her a lot)
>wave to her and go over and talk
>she's excited to see me
>it's been so long since we've seen each other
>sit next to her
>the lights in the theater dim
>start talking
>head feels weird
>feel my head
>I've gone bald
>she starts laughing
>the theater is now full of people
>everyone stands up and starts laughing at me
>the lights come back on
>no one around us has a face, just a blurry smudge mark where their face should be
>she looks me right in the eyes and says "don't ever talk to me"
>wake up
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I keep having this recurring dream

>at a cemetery with my extended and immediate family, middle of a service for some family member that's died
>I'm a necrophile so I wander off looking for opportunity or a distraction
>lo and behold, just in the distance is an open casket
>I cautiously sneak up to it
>my gf is inside, dressed in a bridal gown with a princess tiara
>she looks so beautiful I can't control myself
>climb into the casket, start making love to her
>the shadow of someone looms over us, scares the living shit out of me
>it's one of my cousins, he looks terrified and extremely nauseated at the same time
>asks me what the fuck I'm doing, what's wrong with me, etc.
>I start to try to explain myself, he vomits profusely
>tells me that the corpse I'm holding is extremely rotten, says I'm going to get sick, screams at me to get away from it
>I look at the body and it's at least three weeks dead
>there is a pool of bile and other bodily fluids in the bottom of the casket and covering my body
>bits of flesh and skin are stuck to my face and arms
>the smell is overwhelming
>all of this only makes me more turned on
>my cousin ran off and told the rest of the family what happened, they start coming towards me
>try to grab the body and run
>it slips through my arms almost immediately
>when it hits the floor it practically explodes into a mess of maggots and decomposed flesh
>I fall to my knees and try to scrape her back together, crying, not knowing what to do
>my family crowds around me, kicking me and throwing things at me, laughing or screaming and telling me what a freak I am, how big of a loser I am, asking what the fuck is wrong with me, saying I'll never be normal, etc.
>I wake up

it's absolutely horrible but the very first part of it is so good it makes me want to keep having it
hello rato

>in car with Ronnie Filyaw's self insert, he's driving
>see a dog on motorized skates speed past us
>Ronnie is so amazed that he can't take his eyes off speedy dog and misses a turn, running right into a truck in some Mormon Church parking lot
>some Mormon missionaries come by and ask if we're okay and if we need any help
>Ronnie and I just keep mumbling until I wake uo
Hello rato

Pls leave me alone, I love my long hair.
>having normal dream
>suddenly become half lucid
>realize the world around me doesn't make sense
>instead of realizing I'm dreaming, assume I'm suffering from psychosis
>spend the rest of the dream trying to put my mind back together, trying to figure out what's real and finding nothing real
It was fucking terrifying and I was so happy to be awake where I could touch and feel things that were constant.
hello rato
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hola raton
> dreamed i was a warrior fighting a female order of witches/ bene gesserit
>at one point dream of a king that kind of looked loke arthas cursed with perpetual ice aura a la elsa from frozen
>his throne was beneath a frozen waterfall
>a woman decked out in silver regalia approached the throne and started talking shit
>they were clear enemies and she brought out the sunstone to burn away his ice caatle and eventually defeat him
>take turns melting and freezing the surrounding area over and over again
>dreamt I was fighting a woman who was a warrior of some sort, part of the same faction
>we were wrestling
>figure out the only way to kill her is to call in a long distance poison dart barrage
>hold in in place
>get rained upon
>die while embracing her.

My dreams are cool af mate
fucking hell

hello ratto
Hello Rato
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Last night I dreamt that I had a detachable penis. I went to the penis replacement store and put a new one on that was bigger, but it was purple. It turned out that my purple penis was non-detachable. I didn't realize that until it was too late. The remainder of the dream consisted of the increasing amount of anxiety and embarrassment I felt over having a purple penis.
hello rato

better save than sorry guis!
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>in strange dream, no idea where the fuck I am
>feels like I'm constantly switching between random places I've never been
>can hear people talking and screaming, along with a lot of other background noise that sounds like a mix between tv static noise and engines
>vision starts completely breaking, all kinds of strange shapes assaulting my mind
>think that this shit doesn't make any sense and that I'm going insane
>get extremely anxious and terrified
>start trying to kill myself in my dream by jumping off high places but the environment changes whenever I'm about to hit the ground
>start screaming and wake up
>bathed in sweat from top to bottom, immediately rush to the bathroom to throw up
>wanted to kill myself for the next 2 days because I couldn't get the dream out of my head
hello rato

Please stop doing this to me
Too coherent dream 100% fake not real 1 link mediafire
It's literally real. What would I gain from lying about a dream
hello rato

>Back where I used to live
>Hanging out with old friends
>Feel extremely hungry
>Find whole burgers and hotdogs growing in the wild and scattered across the neighbourhood
>All of them are slightly mouldy/rotten so can't eat
>Eventually find a hardees superstar burger in good condition
>Bite into it
>the sauce was rotten and slimy
>wake up

I went out for a burger that day
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fukoff rato
>Be me
>around 12 years old
>hunting with dad in a park in the middle of the city
>See a bird
>Shoot it
>It falls with a WW2 fighter sound and explodes
>Look other way
>A fucking stampede of hogs with angel wings flying trough the sky
>Nah, anon, we ain't shootin these, it's their mating season
>Wake up
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argh why cant i post?
hello rato
ps fuck you
hello rato

I told my GF about this dream and now she won't talk to me

inb4 'normie' - She's a dying schizophrenic in Korea who I've never met face-to-face

So I suddenly remembered that there were two other brothers/versions of me that lived with us when I was very young. One was born out of my mouth just after I was born and because of this there was some discussion as to whether he was my son or brother - He was about two inches high and lived for a short while and I kept exploring my own mind for memories of him. He had fairly normal skeleton. The other was born dead. His skeleton was more like a fat mouse with a diamondish-shaped head. Somehow I had these skeletons all of a sudden and I kept them in my bag. They were very precious. My sister broke them. Oh and we all were living in a hotel.
You forgot about the fact the you killed it, anon. You killed your spirit piggie.
hello rato
dis be very original
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>hello rato

when I was a kid I used to have this recurring dream where I was like tarzan and was riding a giant dark beetle really fast through a jungle and then I fell off of it and wake up
>>really strange dream of a closet with a rag doll inside that lasts for 10 seconds
>It's odd, i've had this same dream before when I was younger, what's even more odd is that nothing happens, it's just an image of a doll in a closet.
>goes bald
>smudge faces
You're a fucking mug
hello rato

I sprayed axe on my balls and they turned to leather
Hello rato

commente es originalo
>>ballsack is made out of KFC chicken skin
I thought I was the only one.
hello rato
>spend the rest of the dream trying to put my mind back together, trying to figure out what's real and finding nothing real

coolest dream in the thread desu

samefagging this hard
kfc ballsack was the best
>Be inside a huge house with a bunch of people
>One of "them" is in the house too
>Trying to figure which one is the "thing" while avoiding getting killed by it or it killing anyone
>Decide fuck it, let's just leave this place
>Dad tries to stop me
>I insist
>Dad basically says "fine, you'll understand when you see and you'll wish you hadn't."
>Opens the door out for a single second
>That second was all I needed to be shocked to my core
>In that small amount of time I saw a post apocalyptic wasteland, piles of corpses, trees and grass are all dead, sky is heavily overcast and yellow, and a charred and twisted something standing upright only several meters away. Don't know if it's alive and don't want to know.
>Door closes
>Nope all the way to my bedroom, decide I'll take my chances with the thing inside, at least it hasn't killed anyone yet

Shit I think I had a dream about fallout.
hello rato

original comment because I want to keep my hair
hello rato desu senpai
Hello rato gt3bv3eih3yeoh2bwjwwnbee
hello rato

Original commento for no baldo
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I work in mental health - This kind of thing fascinates me.
Hello rato
Fuck off robot
Hello rate old friend
Hello rato

Had this dream like 2 weeks ago...
>be at the academy awards
>all famous people are there
>have no idea why I was invited...
>after a long ceremony and shitloads of awards there's only one award left
>"The oscar for the longest piss in history of cinema"
>Leonardo Dicaprio and I are the only nominated ones
>he seems super anxious, I don' really give a fuck
>I win, as I go receive my oscar I see Dicaprio, he is super pissed off
>he's cursing a lot
>give my speech, but only say that I need to take a leak real bad, everyoen laughs
>go to the bathrooms, there's a line and I can't hold it for much longer
>finally my turn
>enter the bathroom, I am about to pee but suddenly this black girl appears
>she loos straight out of the 70s
>"Oh anon! you are the greatest, DO ME !!"
>she leans against the wall/urinal in front of me rising her skirt revealing her butt
>she's blocking the urninal
>Don't wanna fuck, just wanna pee
>doesn't get out of the way
>pee on her butt, she enjoys it
>bunch of paparazzi come in and start taking photos
>stick it in her pooper, fill her intestines with pee
>she enjoys it even more
>go out tell my mom that I just peed up a girl's ass
>Paparazzi hear ths and write stories about it for months
>Dicaprio gets super depressed
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The settings in my dreams are often grotesque and dimmed. What occurs is usually some confusing scenario which I seldom make sense of after. It's not often I will have "dark" dreams, but when I do they leave me feeling rather "dirty" upon waking up.
One that stuck with me from about a year ago was quite vivid. I remember much of it- down to minutiae.
Long story short, I had gruesomely murdered an adult and two children with a kitchen knife after entering an unfamiliar house. The adult I had stabbed from behind, unsuspectingly. One of the children was sleeping, the other I had propped up onto the counter to begin slitting his throat.
All I can ask is fucking why my subconscious would project such a scene.
hello rato,
i have beatifull long hair, i dont wanna be baldo, so a saying hello to rato
hello rato

yuo are greatest ally
>down to minutiae

A pop quiz. No making it up plz.

1) Where exactly in the back did you stab the adult?

2) Describe the adult's face.

3) What was the second child wearing? Bonus points if you can tell me what she was wearing on her feet.
hello rato im piss
hello rato, my old friend
how the fuck is this not original
Hello rato
If I lose my hair I'll truly have nothing left
>Where exactly in the back did you stab the adult?
It was somewhat below the neck, but not directly below.
>Describe the adult's face.
I don't recall looking after the fact. It was a woman though.
>What was the second child wearing?
t-shirt, shorts iirc.
>what she was wearing on her feet.
Not so much I remember these details, more so the ones of how they were murdered stuck with me.
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hello rato
I sometimes have dreams where I somehow end up at school naked.
Fuck you rato, you're taking it already.
hello rato

>breaking Jerry Seinfeld from prison
>via a labyrinthine sewer and subway system
>Jerry acts like an autist unaware of the seriousness of the situation, cracks some jokes, witty observations I think.

fun dream, i think there was a car chase as well.
JUST had this dream

>My mother was trying to get me to drive
>I don't know how; too scared
>trying to start the car
>she gets in front of it
>the car finally starts and I accelerate it
>runs over my mom
>can't stop the car
>trying to find her
>trying my best not to hit anything since I can't find the breaks
>breaks pop out of now where
>push it down, then drove to where my mom is
>she's on the floor with her arms and legs dislocated, but still alive
>I cry on the floor for what I did

I felt like a horrible person when I woke up
How do you know it was Norwegian? Do you have any connection to the language in real life? How about your cousins?
hello rato

not spam. original
>House = fantasy
>"Thing" = person who tells the truth
>Outside = reality
hello rato

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hello rato.
this is original desu
hello rato
original comment original comment
Hello rato
>family is at a popular two story mcd's
>fuck knows where
>balcony table was high class shit
>years in advance reservation
>family is about to go
>niggers stole our spot
now here's a little of the atmosphere
>no cars
>one street
>houses completely wrapping the street
>across the street is a park like field
>only other building is the mcd's
now on one side of the street this jet black poodle with that weird ball hair cut like as the dog contests lives on its own and all he does is sit on his porch
hes about 6ft tall on his hind legs and he walks and has the stature of a human
also has this metal rod attached to his forearm
and twice a day he crosses the street
then crosses back
and if anyone is in the street while he is they get vapourized
>be me
>running back to my house to get our reservation saying its our spot
>house is on poodles street
>get reservation
>sprint back to mcd's
>freeze in place in the middle of the street
>look to my left
>theres poodle raising rod arm at me
>wake up
hello rato

Balding is one of my biggest fears. You're damn right I'm going to do anything not to go bald.
Actually dreamt this today
>Be me in my room, it's morning sun is rising
>See a lighthouse where some old garage is supposed to be
>note: I don't actually live in front of a lighthouse, nor nowhere near the sea
>The light is working, spinning like it's supposed to in a lighthouse
>Light has a teal color for some reason
>I live in one of those commie tower blocks
>Whole building starts moving to the left and down
>Like an icecube slowly sliding a melting at the same time
>For some reason I have the feel like I'm on a train
>Hear train whistles and shit
>See that the building is actually falling down
>Close my eyes
>I'm ready
>Next. I'm in a pile of debris of the tower block
>Go, meet some people I know
>Tell them I almost died and have no place to live
>They don't give a flying fuck
Literally what the fuck
hello rato

fuck you for posting this
Hello rato.

Any dreams of sexual nature pretty much turns into something grotesque and disgusting for me. I can't actually remember all the lurid details and I'd really rather not.
hello rato
Hello rato
>I'm happy
>wake up
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>major mommy and daddy issues
>norman normieson
Yeah, you're a normalfag.
Imagine if you still had the same problems and never had a gf?
Those people exist. They are the robots, not you.

Having a girlfriend guarantees you have at least some level of social acceptance, and therefore excludes you from being a robot.
This is basic robot sociology, norma scum.
herro ratto
I remember when /r9k/ used to be about telling stories, and the majority of them involved interacting with other people in some way. Those posters, by your standards, were not robots. The people who contributed the most to /r9k/. Are you trying to tell me that someone who has extreme social deficits and has completely unconventional experiences has to be a non-functioning member of society in order to be called a robot?
Hello rato god
Bless me with long lasting hair
Hello rato

Psychological maymay manipulation js 3strong
hello rato

u smug fuqq
hello rato

veryy originaal comme t
Hello rato

What's going?
>I remember when /r9k/ used to be about telling stories, and the majority of them involved interacting with other people in some way. Those posters, by your standards, were not robots.

The same way you can post on a board without understanding or be involved with it's culture, you know?
Reminder that /r9k/ was deleted and BROUGHT BACK for the exact same reasons: people complaining about women and tfwnogf

>The people who contributed the most to /r9k/
Not really. No one cares about your boring anecdotes. You honestly think those threads where everybody blogpost and nobody reads is "constributing the most to /r9k/"? They weren't. The few exceptions where an interesting story was told are just that; exceptions.

>Are you trying to tell me that someone who has extreme social deficits
You're so called "social deficits" can't be all that extreme if you still manage to have a girlfriend, a job, and a large circle of friends you fucking normalscum.
i had one last night where my housemate who apparently dislikes me told me to fuck her and leave the door open so my gf would walk in.

Called her a fat cunt and then woke up
>large circle of friends
you have a caricature in your mind of what every person is like who has a gf, and no matter what I say or do you will continue to think of me as that caricature instead of as a person

enjoy your shitposting
hello rato

had a dream that spiders crawled into my ears and they made a little tribal spider village
hello rato
Hello Rato.

> Me and my younger brother are at our great grandmother's place, being looked after.
> My brother finds an old bronze-colored scimitar.
> He starts to cut his head off.
> I start to scream.
> Great grandmother comes in.
> She starts shushing at me, saying we just need to wrap my brother up with tape.
> She casually fix him with tape.

I have dreamed this one 3 times, and every time it leaves me confused and disturbed in the morning.
If you don't have a job or friends then the fact you have a girlfriend is even worse because it means you -especially- have factors about yourself that a girl would find attractive despite those massive drawbacks enough to date you.

So you're actually a level above normalfags. You're flaws aren't severe enough to deter women when you completely lack the social power.
hello rato

you deserve to have kfc ballsack for posting that image
>be a supporter of trans folk for a number of years irl
>not for fetishistic reasons but I have fooled around with some trans people before
>go to sleep
>have a dream that I am talking about trans people in public
>mention that I've kissed some trans people before
>man gets really fucking mad
>tells me I'm a disgusting faggot and that I should be dead
>he forces me to snuggle the corpse of a trans man that he himself killed and decapitated
>forces several of my irl trans friends to do the same
>wake up before he kills me too

wtf brain?
hello rato

>dream about getting dinner in college cafeteria
>suddenly feel really uncomfortable and taste something really gamy and savory and fleshy-blob-textured in my mouth
>hear "IT'S THE MEAT" clear as day in a voice halfway between the Arby's dude from the commercials and our Hispanic cafeteria worker's
>wake up in a fucking panic, shoot straight up, open mouth, have the same kind of chills and fright I would if I had dreamed about getting shot
Vegans have weird nightmares.

>dream about picking open my own skin on my arm
>reveal muscle underneath
>it's made of pasta-and-margarine-ish strands, which I begin to tease apart and inspect
>pus butter
>wake up
>arm isn't mutilated
>feel relieved

>go to beach with little sister in dream
>get swept out by riptide and fucked over by the tides
>try to float for a while, only get dunked and swept out further
>begin to struggle and drown
>become acutely aware that we're dying out here while the rest of my family in yelling on the shore and I can faintly hear them
>try to drag little sister to shore, swallowing and gasping water
>succeed in getting her to a point where she can swim to shore and touch ground, but inhale a fuckton of water
>hear family yelling for sister and getting closer
>go down
>moonlight on the water's surface, waves lapping, faint yelling, surging, panic
>wake up, cancel swimming there with sister
hello rato

Thank you.
Do you think this is why, in post apocalypse stories, it's always seen as better to leave the sterile safe environment in favor of the horrid wastes? Because psychologically we feel like it's better to face reality even when it's not the safer choice?
hello rato

blease dont b-bald me
hello rato

fuck off i'm original
hello rato

Damn you now i need to bumb this shit

>a dying schizophrenic in Korea

Can you give us some more details? sounds very hmm...
Hello rato

>fever dream

>be me
>man with no features
>teenage mutant ninja turtles stuck on a sinking square of ground
>help them out of the hole
>put them in an ambulance
>drive 50 feet to a firehouse
>put them in firehouse, hospital beds between the trucks
>go back
>more ninja turtles in peril


>weird dream

>in my room
>bed has ladder
>room is dark, but we're covered by a spotlight that seems to be ultraviolet
>victoria justice appears naked in front of me
>kick her in the stomach
>she falls into the ladder and gets chopped into 5 pieces
>wake up
hello rato

I read about a guy dying by trying to swallow a whole cheeseburger. Then I dreamed about it last night. I couldn't even look at him while he was doing it. It happened so fast and I knew he was going to die.
More dream from me
Hello again rato

>in house
>go into brothers room
>climb on desk
>see a door near the ceiling
>secret hallway
>old baseball bat and glove from like the 60s
>another door
>leads to living room, can hear my dad watching the news
>go up stairs in the hall
>another hidden room
>this one is an attic
>lots of old dusty stuff like an entire library of books, a telescope, and what looks to be a stage of some sort
>go near a window
>on a table there is a hollow, rubber, slightly inside-out floppy figure of Alyx Vance
>somehow know it's called "husk01"
>look up husk01 on google the next day
>didn't find anything

>somehow know

always happens to me in dreams. I just have random knowledge about things/situations despite no evidence whatsoever
hello rato

some extra text to make my comment original
Hello rato

>live in a trailer park near Fat albert and his gang
>I am one of the gang members
>someones shoots oil in my eye
>my eye turns yellow
Konnichiwa, Rato-san

>find myself in an endless golden field
>it's so serene, almost completely empty, and the sun is setting
>black dot moving in the distance, I start running towards it
>holy shit I'm super fast
>as I get closer I realize it's a man, and he's running away from me
>want to catch him
>realize I'm sprinting on all fours, but my arms are longer than my legs so I'm running like a gorilla
>use my arms to launch myself through the air
>slam down on top of the man and start stabbing him with my arms
>eat him alive as he screams

I had a nightmare and I got to be the monster for once, it was pretty cool.
ello rate
>i'm suddenly a black guy
>realise im talking with James Bond
>MI7 is pissed, they send me to check if he won't fuck up again
>As a punishment, he has to finish the mission using a bike
>i'm the one riding the bike
>the rest of the dream i was joking about stealing bikes and niggers
Thread replies: 114
Thread images: 15
Thread DB ID: 501283

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