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Frog & Feel
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 64
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It's been a warm day on the Left Coast, and the sunlight's been lifting many spirits -- hopefully, the bartender thinks to himself, his patrons' are among them. It wasn't but a week or two ago, he thinks, that he was pushing through over two feet of snow to get the doors open and wondering if there was enough wood left in the shed to keep the bar warm enough for patrons to keep ordering cold beer. It's a lot easier for him to stay upbeat and optimistic when the sun's out and the air's warm, but there's been an awful lot in everybody's lives lately to counteract this change in the weather.

Come in, have a seat, order a drink and talk. Life looks a lot better through an empty pint glass.
I'll have a bottle of bleach, thanks.
Got any Redd's back there?
What's wrong friend?
Can I order something to eat off the menu? I've got a fitness test tomorrow morning and need to hydrate, so no alcohol for me tonight.
hey bartender

i'll have a phial of slivovitz

everyone drink with me
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Lived my life outside jail and if it all works out I'd prefer to keep it that way my friend. Cheer up man, have a shot and a double IPA and tell us what's keeping you down. It sounds like you have a rough story to tell.

Not on tap tonight, but we've got a couple bottles on ice. It's a bit light and fruity for my tastes, but then I'm pretty light and fruity for some peoples' tastes, so who am I to judge.
Having a bad week. Waiting for it to pass.

Just water please, alcohol inflames my pancreas. Pass the mixed nuts.
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Absolutely. Are you military, or something? I'll be right back with a burger, no nationality meme-ing, I just like cooking burgers.

That's a new one to me, stranger from a strange land. Drinks all around.
A bottle would be perfect.
It was my first "beer" so it's got a special place in my heart.
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Today was my birthday.
Happy birthday Anon :)
How many years young are you?
Hit the nail on the head with the occupation, nationality, and general food preference.
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No problemo, senor. Sorry to hear about the pancreas, there's nothing like a couple beers to make my worst weeks go by without absolutely destroying me.
>Have one friend who is also a robot.
>Robot friend gets a girlfriend.
>Starts talking less to me.
Give me your best milkshake.
>tfw not old enough to be in this bar
>tfw it's been 20 years since I was last near a vagina
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Happy birthday lad. Why so disappointed? That's another year closer to liberation, rejoice.
I saw a footlong shitlog fly out of a homeless mans ass today on the subway on the way back from my part time job
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>old enough to drive a 5000lb machine
>old enough to kill for your government
>not old enough to drink poison
>yfw you have to live your life again after you die
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You're Buddhist or something?
The possibility of that compels me to embrace asceticism. Yet humans are plagued by such weak wills, it's awful. It's no wonder so few people can find it in themselves to devote themselves to monasticism.
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Assuming you wanted alcoholic milkshake, here's a nice mint shake with a dash of cheap vodka. Free jukebox tune 4u
Fuck it friend, I'm well into my twenties and I'm getting to where a good portion of my friends are either married or dating the girl they're going to marry.
>tfw I had a few relationships that could've been more if I didn't have so little social skills that I can't keep it together to save my life

En Mexico, no si importante, senor.
It's fine to be a 20yo virgin, vaginas really are overrated. Honestly I wish I hadn't had sex with a certain demon bitch from hell who lives on the East Coast.
the possibility of that should compel you to embrace alcoholism. but who am I to argue ideology.
Hypothetically that would condemn me to a life of greater suffering in the next.
Give me a vodka and oj. Things have been looking up for me. Started talking to this girl who has no friends like me. Shes really kind. Drink up boys. May good fortune come to you!
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That's some regards, frogs. I never lived in a city long enough to see the true degeneracy, but I've seen some shit in the ghettos. No true murder, but just degeneracy like nothing else. (I delivered pizzas for a while, nothing highlights petty degeneracy like being a delivery driver.)
no. the point is you spend your life drunk and die early, thereby repeating the short, drunk life down to the detail, so you can repeat the short, drunk life again forever after that.

it's literally the only formula for success. asceticism is just drawing eternity out. drunkenness is living eternity drunk.
That would not achieve me Nirvana. A state liberated from desire is one free of suffering.
It's for the best that we strive against our primal, bodily desires.
nirvana is shit made up by gooks and regardless it's incompatible with the concept we have been discussing of forever repeating a single lifetime.
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>vodka and oj
Holy shit, it's been forever since I've downed that bit of degeneracy. One for you and one for me.

Did you really find a true robot woman? The very, very few I've encountered have been so full of red flags or so ridiculously obese or some other thing that I've lost all hope. (or they've just straight-up hated me.)
>nirvana is shit made up by gooks
We're discussing reincarnation here, is it inappropriate to bring that up?
>of forever repeating a single lifetime.
I'd certainly not want to repeat this lifetime.
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we weren't discussing reincarnation. reincarnation is reincarnation, but the concept you introduced here
is not reincarnation.

Reincarnation is the act of returning as an other.
What you described is a repeat.
If you're going to worship gook shit get it right.
>that pic
Wouldn't deja vu imply that everything wasn't quite repeating, if you had past memories it would seem to imply that at least some things were changing.
I'm not old enough to drink yet
Bartender, can I get an orange juice or something?
I have this unfounded fear since a bad trip on lsd. (the repeating lifetime thing)
My bad. I am not a Buddhist or anything, I just find these concepts interesting.
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Lots of younger chaps tonight, here's some OJ. Don't worry, you'll lose your innocence soon enough I'm sure. It is the current year.

What's on you tonight?
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Sorry to cause a disturbance in your establishment barkeep, I'm just frustrated. Can I get a Miller High Life?
Just this girl

I don't know how to approach her and I'm afraid Chad will take her before I even have a chance

I know it isn't something to get too hung up about, but I've never had a girlfriend before and I think I really might have a chance if only I weren't such a beta faggot. If I don't do it this year, it'll be too late since she'll be going to college and all. I really don't want to ruin this like I have a lot of other relationships, But I'm just that much of a beta faggot. I really don't know, bartender.
Mix me a coffee, whiskey, and OJ, its been a helluva week.

So theres this girl I like. She loves me, but I only kinda like her back. I know its horrible of me to lead her on, but she's some of the only good in my life. If she changed a lottle bit i could probably love her, but the changes are just unreasonable. Theres also just so much other stuff (porn, school, vidya, hobbies, drinking) in my life its hard to make the time she wants/needs/deserves.

Fuck. i dont even know. thanks
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but i feel ya. that whole beta/alpha shit, fuck that. dont "man up" or "alpha" or "beat chad", just go for it. Worst case scenario, it fails, its a story, she goes to college, and life goes on. best case it works, [insert realistic fantasy here] , its a story, she goes to college, and life goes on.

either way, life goes on
You want to vent? This is an anonymous message board, and posts get recycled quick. go for it.
You're right

Whatever happens happens and fuck it if it's for the worst

Thanks, bartender

I'd only come to regret it if I don't do a thing ig, huh? I'll even try to talk to her tomorrow if I see her

Should I be straight up or ease into it? What do you do when she's the shy type?
Hey bartender, can I get a vanilla milkshake? I'm only 18 :/
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>previous work experience
Blame an oversaturated market, young adults with absolutely no ability to realize any professional ambition (if present) on why there are people with 2, 5, 10 years' experience applying to no-experience-required positions.
I understand the frustration, we've all (except the truly hardcore NEETs I guess) been there. I've been there. Miller High is my go-to for a cheap drink when I want to get drunk ASAP, here's one for you my friend. Just apply to everywhere in your entire goddamn geographic region even if it makes you want to slam your face against a wall. (Also, do you call back? Sometimes that can make a difference.)

>afraid Chad will take her
TAKE HER FIRST [le CourageWolf.jpg or whatever, xddddd]
But seriously, just go up and tell her how you feel, if you can't do it nbd but you've gotta learn how at some point if you don't wanna die KHV.

All I know about you is you're under 21 (or 18 if Europoor or can't see over the bar if you're on the other side of Trumpwall), but that means you've got a shit ton of time to make a fool of yourself in front of women. It builds skills, helps you learn how not to make a fool of yourself as an older chum.
Don't be beta, or I guess be beta if you want, be whatever you want to be old chap.

That's a mighty dangerous mix if done right.
What are the 'little' changes, is she overweight or overly flirty or what? And remember porn/vidya/drinking should always come second to a basic social life, if you ask my opinion.)
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Vanilla milkshake, eh, friend? Graudation soon, I guess? Life after highschool changes, some better and some worse. Don't fall into a "hurr I can't improve myself better fall into pit of despair xdddd" trap. Odin loves you.
you actually don't. you're simply expected to try different stores until they're desperate to hire someone.

When I got a job working retail, I wasn't even looking for a job. I was just visiting the store with a friend who worked there and somehow, through conversation, ended up with a job.
Fug a really cute girl just super-liked me on tinder. I was so happy (had to wait 3 and half hours to like back since the stupid 12 hour timer). Well about 30 minutes ago I sent this: https://giphy.com/media/e3C8aVoMqFPCE/giphy.gif as an intro. From all the girls I've met they loved friends. 3 minutes later got unmatched.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Can't go to hard because they think I'm a creep. Can't be funny because they think I'm trying too hard. Can't go slow otherwise they get bored. Can't be attractive like Chad because God is an asshole.

Looks like I'm going to be alone on Valentine's Day again. I'm not too mad because there are so few people at work that i have to work on Saturday and Sunday nights (close is 7pm). It would have made dating arrangements difficult.

I have no faith in anything anymore, I just want Trump to get elected to vanquish the sjw cancer that has infected America.
Forgot to ask for a shiner bock.
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at least you have good taste in beer
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Just a water, Please.
You might no longer be here, but happy birthday my friend.
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Tinder is a cancer upon humanity. Don't worry too much about it, if you match with a qt just use it as a confidence booster to actually approach a qt in real life. Nothing good ever happened on Tinder.

Shiner it is.
the little changes sure aint little. shes close minded AF, has a horrible taste in hobbies, and utterly lacks the ability to be poked fun at, though she criticizes everyone. She also got a shit hair cut. r9k would hate her.
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Lots of nonalcoholics tonight. What's got you dead inside? Women, jobs, family, philosophy, or the impending Armageddon and judgment for your sins?
Give me a Blue Moon please, regular. And I will have some fries with that. Shit has been going well, in my opinion. No gf, but I'm not worried. Working on becoming a teacher in highschool and then become a professor. Practicing some singing too.
Disclaimer: i have 0 clue what im doing (mostly) and get notoriously lucky.

I'd jump into it. Let her decide the speed, and match that. If you cant figure out how fast she wants to, ask. Gently push boundaries, yours and hers. If shes shy, congrats, shes human. everyone is. talk to her. do something with her, however small. I believe in you man!
Thanks a lot, man
Pretty much all of those actually. You should take up psychiatry.
Report back on how it goes. I'm curious.
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>lacks the ability to be poked fun at, though she criticizes everyone
That's a huge redflag right there, means she's going to put you through some ridiculous shit and then get mad when you do her the tiniest slight.
>implying I don't speak from experience
Don't be a total meme and actually believe the haircut memes, though. Haircuts are haircuts, if you judge a girl on her haircut then you're going pretty tumblr-tier "le fashion is the only le thing I judge people on xddd." Plus, it can lead to just automatically accepting any cosmetically-conservative girl as actually sane, and that sure as hell ain't true.
But it sounds like you do need to get out, my friend.
hair isnt actually that bad, itll grow back out.

i realize that its a HUGE redflag. i justify it by saying "we all have flaws". i drink like its saving me, love to lie, keep a weird schedule, and have no motivation to do things i know are good for me (all things that she loves brining up). she has her own set of flaws, and we put up with each other.

also i think shed kill herself if i dropped her too hard.
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>blue moon
Used to drink a lot of those, got too spoiled with more expensive craft stuff. Just a regular, huh?
No gf is no worry. Especially if you've got a career.
>tfw a cute girl actually started messaging me LITERALLY WITHIN FIVE MINUTES of posting about getting a good job with good money
Memes are true, get good job get vagina. Kinda makes you realize how worthless it all is.

Why don't you lay something out? I'm no more a psychiatrist than any other bartender is, but I know that talking about stuff is better than not talking about it.
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>drink like its saving me
Isn't necesarily a bad thing if you're capable of staying sober, definitely something to watching though
>implying I don't speak from experience

>love to lie
That's a bad one. Truth is important in any relationship, and I don't just mean romantic. Friends, family, professional, etc., once word get out that you're a liar that's pretty much it for you. I get that it's an easy trap to fall into, but if there's one thing I'd work on, that's huge.

At least you put up with each other. If she really helps you, and I mean really (not just "hormones make me say she helps me even though she's really dragging me down most days") then that's something.
>kill herself
First off, she probably won't. And don't drop her like an ass, that's Chad-tier stuff. Secondly, don't make "omg shed kill herself xdddd" your reason for staying. Many of us have been in that situation, but it's absolutely an abusive-relationship type of thing. Emotional abuse and physical abuse are different, but they're very related.
Not worthless my friend. Just weeds out the people who are only interested in money and not what you are trying to do. I'm teaching because I want to get our future ready. It isn't worthless, it just puts things into perspective. A good highschool teacher can make 70,000 a year. Not enough for Stacy gobblecock to live off of. Now, a professorship? Well over 150 to 200. Easy. And me? I'm headed there to either help provide for a family, or make my life easier. I guess it's my American Dream.
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