[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
>be catholic
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 33
Thread images: 12
File: image.png (478 KB, 611x362) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.png
478 KB, 611x362
>be catholic
>go to church one day
>see literally the most attractive qt in my entire life there
>she's doing all the responsorials correctial and singigng the hymns from memory
>work up nerve to go up to her after and explain that she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen and that I'd like to take her on a date
>she's feminine, sweet and understanding even though I'm stammering
>get her number
>she becomes my gf
>never been happier
Meanwhile, atheists have to cross their fingers for a fat harridan with 6 dormant strains of HPV
>>
>>26401230
But are you having sex with her?
>>
>be christfag
>be 10:1 gril to dude ratio at church
>too guilty to pick up church grils
they probably all think i'm a homo
>>
>>26401339
Yeah but she has misgivings about it
>>
>>26401230
>Be Occultist
>Sit around in a dim room reading copies of ancient tomes and grimmoires
>Commune with the Lords of Hell for advice
>Even they can't get me a gf
>And I quote:

>Holy shit Anon, we're not miracle-workers

What's even worse is that if I kill myself, it's going to be really awkward in Hell.
>>
>>26401506
Nice. You're allowed to brag then.
>>
>>26401506
>be me, atheist
>10/10 girlfriend, fucking sexy as fuck, perfect tits, height, skin, intelligence, personality,
>girlfriend is an atheist
>fuck her senseless, in her sleep, in many positions, anal, BJ,HJ, fingering, anal (<3), raw, creampie
>girlfriend and I have no misgivings because we're athiest
>pays to be an atheist because god doesn't exist, betas are christians because they 'devote' themselves to an unknown, disproven diety that submits women and children to men
>tmw atheist and 0 problems
>tmw gfs atheist and loves fuckin
>OP, you beta ass fuck
>>
>>26401230
Did I get in before all the triggered atheists?
>>
File: 1441646993775.jpg (351 KB, 1153x823) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1441646993775.jpg
351 KB, 1153x823
>>26401230
>be catholic

kys papist
>>
File: 1449930906981.png (59 KB, 352x263) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1449930906981.png
59 KB, 352x263
>>26401451
I think my church friends see me as a closet fag or they know I am autistic
>>
>>26401631
>Protestant

kys heretic
>>
File: 1440785644789-0.jpg (13 KB, 257x196) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1440785644789-0.jpg
13 KB, 257x196
>>26401694
>unironically being a cuck to the pope

top jej
>>
>>26401748
>unironically following Martin Luther
>"u can get to heaven if u just believe, man"

o am i laffin

Protestants are literally only a step above "Spiritualist" scum.
>>
File: image.jpg (83 KB, 430x602) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
83 KB, 430x602
>>26401627

Trying a little too hard m8
>>
>religion
>church
>Catholicism
>>
>>26401230
Does God watch me cry myself to sleep?
>>
File: image.png (574 KB, 2828x1296) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.png
574 KB, 2828x1296
>>26401902

>the man in Rome told me to believe this so I do
>>
>>26401902
>a man with a big hat told me to do a thing, so i did the thing

cuck
>>
>>26401536
This made me kek out of originality
>>
>>26402086
>>26402086
>doesn't have the substance of communion that forms the core of worship and theology
>b-b-but we hold bible study more often!
Literally the Reddit of Christianity
>>
>>26401230
Get the fuck out of this board you fucking normie.
>>
>>26401627
This is the most embarrassing post I've seen in a while
>>
>>26401627

I'm unaware of any instances where any deity was disproved.

Enjoy your slutty heathen gf I guess.
>>
>>26402471
>doesn't have the substance of communion that forms the core of worship and theology

You mean the pants-on-head-retarded belief that the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ?
>>
>>26401694

>implying I'm not orthodox

Catholics are worse than protestants, but only because cathloics embrace heresy with open arms where at least some protestants still have the balls to tell fags and whores to go fuck themselves in hell.
>>
>>26402471

You mean the Eucharist? That thing every protestant church has?
>>
>>26402086
>And on this rock you shall build my church
>my church
>CHURCH
>not a bunch of churches with varying beliefs and weird new age fruity shit
>>
File: 1451878065905.gif (2 KB, 73x73) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1451878065905.gif
2 KB, 73x73
>>26401230
>>26401627
Hi, I heard this is the "made up stories and general autism from christfags and fedoreddits alike" thread :DDD
>>
>>26402670
Catholic here.

"Substance of Communion" means the Transsubstantiatio - that the bread and wine becomes the host of Christ. Protestants believe it is just symbolic or a memorial - essentially protestant "eucharist" is a meaningless ritual, not a legitimate sacrament.
>>
File: OrthodoxMonks1.jpg (55 KB, 720x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
OrthodoxMonks1.jpg
55 KB, 720x720
>>26401694
>he thinks a doctrine first put into place in 1870 is canon law
>>
File: 1452699229332.jpg (90 KB, 500x667) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1452699229332.jpg
90 KB, 500x667
>worship dead desert jew on a stick
>go to a building dedicated to said jew
>see a qtpi
>she has some fanfiction memorized that some roman statesman/writer jotted down a thousand years ago
>talk to her
>"y-you are the p-p-p-prettiest thing g-god has c-created"
>she gives me number out of pity
>go on date
>talk about my autistic obsessions
>she becomes gf out of pity
>>
>>26402830
Damn, that girl needs the D.
>>
>>26401230
Your religion is literally founded on cucking m8
Thread replies: 33
Thread images: 12
Thread DB ID: 510684



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.