>go to church one day
>see literally the most attractive qt in my entire life there
>she's doing all the responsorials correctial and singigng the hymns from memory
>work up nerve to go up to her after and explain that she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen and that I'd like to take her on a date
>she's feminine, sweet and understanding even though I'm stammering
>get her number
>she becomes my gf
>never been happier
Meanwhile, atheists have to cross their fingers for a fat harridan with 6 dormant strains of HPV
>be 10:1 gril to dude ratio at church
>too guilty to pick up church grils
they probably all think i'm a homo
>Sit around in a dim room reading copies of ancient tomes and grimmoires
>Commune with the Lords of Hell for advice
>Even they can't get me a gf
>And I quote:
>Holy shit Anon, we're not miracle-workers
What's even worse is that if I kill myself, it's going to be really awkward in Hell.
>be me, atheist
>10/10 girlfriend, fucking sexy as fuck, perfect tits, height, skin, intelligence, personality,
>girlfriend is an atheist
>fuck her senseless, in her sleep, in many positions, anal, BJ,HJ, fingering, anal (<3), raw, creampie
>girlfriend and I have no misgivings because we're athiest
>pays to be an atheist because god doesn't exist, betas are christians because they 'devote' themselves to an unknown, disproven diety that submits women and children to men
>tmw atheist and 0 problems
>tmw gfs atheist and loves fuckin
>OP, you beta ass fuck
Did I get in before all the triggered atheists?
I think my church friends see me as a closet fag or they know I am autistic
>unironically being a cuck to the pope
>the man in Rome told me to believe this so I do
>doesn't have the substance of communion that forms the core of worship and theology
You mean the pants-on-head-retarded belief that the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ?
>implying I'm not orthodox
Catholics are worse than protestants, but only because cathloics embrace heresy with open arms where at least some protestants still have the balls to tell fags and whores to go fuck themselves in hell.
Hi, I heard this is the "made up stories and general autism from christfags and fedoreddits alike" thread :DDD
"Substance of Communion" means the Transsubstantiatio - that the bread and wine becomes the host of Christ. Protestants believe it is just symbolic or a memorial - essentially protestant "eucharist" is a meaningless ritual, not a legitimate sacrament.
>he thinks a doctrine first put into place in 1870 is canon law
>worship dead desert jew on a stick
>go to a building dedicated to said jew
>see a qtpi
>she has some fanfiction memorized that some roman statesman/writer jotted down a thousand years ago
>talk to her
>"y-you are the p-p-p-prettiest thing g-god has c-created"
>she gives me number out of pity
>go on date
>talk about my autistic obsessions
>she becomes gf out of pity