I decided to an hero tomorrow but I'm fucking terrified of death. Please write some reasons for suicide that will keep my decision in place so I will actually do it and not chicken out and continue living
Just come over to my house. Lets hangout and walkaround town till our feet get sore.
We can take my paintball gun and drum. And if worse comes to worse well summon the police and suicide by cop.
You're probably way too far away for that - but hey, let's say it happens that we're in the same town and I come to your place.
You will most probably try to entertain me (because you're apparently a caring, empathic person) and try to make me feel better. You will even succeed, we will do some fun stuff for a day and I'll be content; you will see the apparent progress in making me happy so you'll be happy that you helped me as well. Right?
But after a few days I will grow insensitive to the activities we do, and you will slowly get sick and tired of my constant moodiness and just tell me that I have everything in life that I need and ask me why do I still think so negatively despite of it. I will say I'm sorry and pretend that I'm okay and you won't even care because healing depression is way beyond the means of your empathic nature. You're not a doctor - you're just a person, although a nice one.
And eventually you will just tell me to get out of your life OR you will hang out with me when I'm feeling okay and leave me when I'm fucked up until I get normal again.
Like most people do.
I'm not bitter about it, don't get me wrong. It's simply the way it works. But I don't fit in the society, I don't fit in anywhere, I'm halfway desensitized to pleasure, I don't feel good, I don't feel pleasure, motivation, purpose, I feel nothing. There is nothing in this world for me.
Sorry man. I wish I could be a pleasurable company to you.
If you die OP you won't ever get to taste a specially-crisp grilled cheese and ham sandwich ever again.
Even if you want to die, there's so many simple things to live for, even if life sucks in general.
Yeah, that reason is because I'm a human being and I'm hardwired to feel desire to live.
My conscious brain fucked it all up and turned everything into contradictory spaghetti, so I don't even want to sort it all up. I'm taking the way out - I'm gonna die anyway so I'm simply gonna do it earlier than most people.
The pain I will inflict to the few people I care about isn't a problem either (thanks Nietzsche).
I just want to sleep forever.
If I had my way
I would stay with you
Until you found a reason
Worth living for
But im not going to coddle you
Im not going to try to give you advice.
Im going to be with you
by your side.
Holding that controller
Holding that joint
Holding that beer
Holding a spot
I wont hold your hand though.
I found a foolproof method during a late night lurk on /b/.
Basically, I'm going to tie the belt around my neck very tight so I compress my arteries and stop the bloodflow to the brain. I will be unconscious in less than a minute and dead in the matter of minutes.
I've already made a hole in my belt on the ideal length. I'm just waiting tomorrow because I'm scared as shit...
are you completely sure this will work, you just found that image on /b/
At least tell me you looked into it a bit more after
I'm not trying to dissuade you from suicide, if you've made your mind up I respect that, but I don't want you to end up a vegetable
If you don't kill yourself are you going to be ready to face your problems?
Are you going to stop being miserable?
Are you going to stop wallowing in self-pity?
Are you going to take responsibility for your actions?
Are you going to stop hurting others?
If you're not ever going to choose to improve your life then why bother living?
anon i feel this way too. i hate my family on most days and when i dont im usally hate everyone else or just myself. i refuse ti participate in life because most people dont like to do things i like to do. but the people who do like to do the same things as me i hate with a passion. i dont like most people and most dont like me. i worked in a supermarket for 2 years where i forced myself to smile and cater to illegal immigrants who didnt speak the native language. i too feel this deep rooted sadness in life and even when i try to participate in life it usually goes awful. last night i stopped talking to the only girl who i thought cared about me but it turned out to be a crule joke. i lost all intrest in people but i know that it may not happen today or tomorrow or maybe not even anytime this year but i will find a reason for living again. i refuse to put myself out only because it would make the wrong people happy....
please dont do it anon. i dont know you but i feel like we have similar views and if i could be there to hang out i would man. life sucks but eventually you find something worth waking up for. i lost mine last night but i hope i find a new reason soon.. i love you anon i understand you and appreciate you in this world.
Don't do it, bro. You can reverse your decisions and do something with your life. Just because you don't think it's worth living now, doesn't mean it isn't. What are your dreams, bro?
Yes, I've read sources from some forensic sites, they list Carotid Compression as a fairly common cause of death (in suicide and homicide alike). The sources all state the same - first comes unconsciousness then death.
When bloodflow is stopped, brain suffers the same damage as if the heart stopped beating so the death is pretty quick.
I've also tried to tie the belt around my neck, and I've began losing consciousness very fast, like in seconds. It was fairly painless, as if I was going to sleep.
>aware of his own flaws
>still seeking external sources of validation instead of just fixing his own problems
the reason your life is out of control is that you continue to choose to expect others to care for you instead of caring for yourself.
when you expect others to care for you you are effectively blaming them for your problems (you're holding them responsible for fixing you instead of fixing yourself)
Start taking ownership of your life.
This is really sad, I don't know why but this seems more real than when I usually see threads like this
I can't say it gets any better, and can see myself doing the same a few years from now, but I still really don't want you to die
Sweet dreams anon, you do what you think is best
Thanks anons for helpful posts.
Nah, it's not about my dreams. I'm simply unable to feel pleasure and would much rather be dead than live in pain. I could either die or start doing a lot of speed, mdma, meth and heroin.
If I die, people might be shocked for a few months. If I start railing and shooting drugs, I will ruin many lives (it's not that I care, but you seem to be the person that does).
I'm not op but I feel like every time I try to fix things 3 new problems appear and I have been trying for so long, I must have tryed a docen things in the last 4 years.
Can you understand that at all? I'm afraid of trying because I'm afraid of what's going to happen next
This guy knows his shit
If I an hero this is the way it's gonna be
I've tested it out, bringing myself to unconsciousness but not securing the rope so that it would relax and bloodflow would resume
Only way that seems like no monkey business
Painless and kind of trippy but still scary in its own right
Well can you remember feeling anything before your birth?
No, because you did not exist then.
I dont want you to do it, but if you find a way to go painless, there is nothing to be afraid of. Its just an eternal sleep with zero pain or any feelings involved, just like before you were born.
The real difficult part is going painless and being okay with who you're leaving behind. Your family would be devastated. Not trying to guilt trip you or anything, just laying down everything on the table. Depression is a bitch, and there is no shame in leaving a world you are not compatible with. The thought that i can always just end it of my own volition is comforting, in a way.
No one can condemn your decision, it's your own life.
this anon is probably the kindest person ive ever seen here
>you wait till tomorrow because scared
You're not going to be less scared tomorrow. Fear will probably only grow. If that's the only reason you wait. might as well do it right now.
I can imagine others reasons to wait though. It's a pretty big decision. And there's no reason for hurrying.
I once was in jail (long story), and the last day there felt way better than all the others, even though being exactly the same, practically. Just because you know it's almost over. You're almost free. You even start enjoying the things you hate, just because you know it's the last time you'll experience them.
Also please don't see not committing suicide as chickening out. You don't have to prove yourself.
nothing is going to happen next if you choose death
the things that COULD happen next if you choose to try include happiness, improvement, or potentially learning a lesson
the worst that could happen is you choose not to learn and you stay the same
why not choose to learn?
this is a calling from God to start taking control of your life by holding yourself accountable.
this makes me want to cry. fuck, why u have to do it, anons?
You're not going to do it anyways, you fucking attention-whoring retard. You can't do anything right.
Didn't you have that person? Didn't you choose to abandon them? Send them a fucking text. Apologize for leaving. Apologize for hurting them. Apologize for trying to shit out of this world. Apologize for giving up. Commit to improving yourself. I don't care if it's your mother or your sister or a friend who showed you empathy. Stop bullshitting. Stop playing games. Stop pushing people away. Send a text. Decide that it's time to change.
all i have is a friend who pretends to care about me every couple of months, a father that gets angry if i bring up anything at all like this and a mother who last time i told i wasa feeling bad hung up on me and called the police
I've attempted it a few times but a little voice says "what if"
What if I woke up one day and I was handsome
What if I woke up one day and I had a family
What if I woke up one day and someone loved me
The what if is just a pathetic form of denial. None of these things will ever happen. No matter how hard I work and no matter what I accomplish I will still be the same ugly lonely guy. I'm getting better at repressing the denial and I think I'll be able to go through with it
> No matter how hard I work and no matter what I accomplish I will still be the same ugly lonely guy.
Nope. If you work hard and treat others kindly you can have a family, friends, and stable housing.you can't do those things if your attitude is shit though.
You can call it stupid or profound but on the bottom line it's truth. There were countless times were some random person saved from death but if your time on this mortal plane met it's end you'll face death. I hope you'll feel better on the other side.
This will be the last thing I hear as I'm fading out.
I will now abandon the thread and never return. I love you guys so much.