>Go to see a doctor today >Asshole has been sore and itchy

>>26390102
Im sure she was thrilled to see your bumhole in the first place

>>26377961
Lmao she Wanted the dickkk

>>26390102
I'm seeing a doctor for my phimosis soon. That'll be fun.

>tfw thought I had testicular torsion and had to have my wrinkly unshaven scrote ultrasounded by a cute nurse

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>>26390102
I think she's using childish rumor to cope with the reality that her next meat was earned by fingering some dude's infected asshole.

doctors do that shit all the time. don't get so triggered

saw a male doctor for skin tags the other day and he did something similar. why are you so upset?

>>26390102
>see patient today
>he's a new one
>look over his chart before going in
>patient has just listed ass under reason for visit
>walk in room
>see the ugliest, creepiest guy I have ever seen in my life
>without saying anything or having me ask him anything he pulls his pants down and shows me his ass
>I look at the chart and his ass
>put two and two together and give him a hemorrhoid cream
>he looks mentally retarded so I tell him to apply it to his bumhole to not make him laugh or offend him since he has the mind of a child
>fuck my job

>>26392021
Crying right now

>>26392021
Medfag here.
Pls stop.

>>26392542
But why tho medfag?

It's a polite way to say 'boipucci'

>>26390102
>Be medical expert
>Faggot NEET comes into my office
>Calls me a Wagecunt and sits down
>Tells me his asshole is itchy as fuck and has been for more than a year
>Ask why he didn't come to me sooner
>mumbles something about "normalscum" under his breath
>Ask to see it, reluctantly
>His festering putrid anus creates a stench that wafts from my office down to the parking lot and beyond
>Get the strongest ointment I can find that won't cause his asshole to turn black and fall off
>The fumes from his rotting anal cavity have me the slightest bit delirious, so for a moment, forget that patients for whatever reason like it when I use pointlessly proper terms for every day things
>Tell him to apply it to his bum hole
>He takes the ointment, slaps me with a feces covered hand and sprints full tilt out of my office with his pants still down
>Screeching "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" as he goes

>>26392021
Kekd and rekt

My asshole is constantly open, im afraid to get rectal exam. I ruined my asshoole (and life) with champagne bottle violently shoved up there (by myself).

Any doctors or whatever? Will they mock me?

>broken rectum feels

>>26392892
They'll probably assume you are a faggot that enjoys thick cock in your ass.
Or it was just a one time thing?

>>26392021
My sides, my sides, where have they gone?

>>26392892
Pics god dammit

>>26392892

why did you shove a wine bottle in your asshole?

>>26392892
Show us your bumhole.

I hope that one day ass word filters to bum hole.

>>26392021
Geez anon, you can't just go around destroying people's sides like this.

>>26392892
I just started doing reflexive kegels from reading your post.

>tfw first bf you get has a huge donger and your afraid to have a sloppy used up streched out boypussy that no man will ever want if he dumps you.
>do way too many kegels and my ass is way too tight preventing easy entry

>>26392021
Why you gotta be so puckish eh?

>>26390102
Doctors have a sense of humor too you dingus.

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>go see doctor because brown eye itchy
>doctor says remove pants
>bend over and spread
>commencegagreflex.rar
>fire alarm goes off from years of unwashed putrid ass juice vapours
>doctor on floor, dead from initial toxic radius
>paint peeling from walls
>take ointment doc offered before death saying to use around bumhole
>look closer, it's soap

>>26392892
It's because you damaged the muscle. My mom did the same thing giving birth to me. You're fucked. Should've gone slow.

>>26392021
>Read this
>bust up
>Guy in next cube asks what is funny, I can't speak
>He walks over, I point. he reads the thread, starts laughing
>Boss comes over, we point
>He reads it. he's laughing, too
Why I come here

>>26394641
Someone post that gif of the doc who got blown the fuck out by some guys ass shit

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>>26394966
This should be nice

http://giphy.com/gifs/poop-3ayyJHZsPQqjK

Here ya go
>>26394966
>>26396203