Has anybody here ever tried on a condom? I decided I would try jacking off with a condom, so I bought a pack of normal Trojans but they were way too big. Just straight of slipped off, even when I used my fleshlight, which has a light grip. So I searched online, bought the smallest condoms I could and tried them on today. Still too fucking big, and slowly tugs off when I use it.
I discovered they don't legally sell condoms skinny enough for me to properly wear.
> mfw I thought my dick was was why I'm a virgin but it's actually because even if I get my pants off, no condoms will fit my dick.
Quarter, small condom, regular condom for reference.
The opposite for me. Tried on a condom and it was just to small. It was a huge struggle to fit it and I lost my boner.
I fucked a hooker once and she put a condom on my dick in one second like it was nothing. I wonder how the fuck. Maybe she was just carrying condoms my size by chance.
>default pack from supermarket
>put it on
>kinda turned on no clue why
>fits like a glove
I suppose I am as generic as it gets. never going to use them for the real action though wizardry is strong in me.
>dick is thick but short
>no condom fits because it's either painfully tight or pathetically too long
having a chode is suffering
Being a dicklet fucking sucks. I was considering losing my virginity to a hooker but there's no way I'm fucking one without being able to keep a condom on for more than a few pumps.
And I paid all this money for a textured fleshlight and can't even reach the textured part of it because my dick only goes 1/3 of the way in.
>buying a fleshlight that is made for turbococks when you're a dicklet
Get a Tenga Fliphole at least. You can even squeeze it for a tighter experience if you're literally a needledick. Fliphole is said to last 50 uses but I have fapped at least 200 times with me after having it for a few years and it's still just fine. Optimal experience with it is probably if you're like 6 inches, but shorter dick shouldn't be a problem at all. I'm a little over 7" and I bottom out pretty bad.
Fucking hate condoms. Regular sizes are too small for me and I still can't feel shit in those that fit me properly. Had a bit of a funny banter with a shop clerk once though (he was clearly an upset dicklet)
>late in the evening, no people around, need condoms right fucking now
>see a small cornershop, go inside
>"hello, you got any condoms here?"
>"here you go" (gives me regular ones)
>fumble it in my hands for a couple of seconds
>"got anything bigger than that?"
>"no, sorry, we don't"
>"wait, hold on, I think I got some"
>clerk reaches under his counter and pulls out a plastic bag
>"big enough for you?"
>laugh it off and grudgingly buy regular ones
>clerk wasn't laughing at all
I tried some regular, 53mm flat-width condoms and had a hell of a time getting it past the valley between the head and the shaft. It cut into the shaft too much for me to stay hard once I finally did yank it down. Then I tried some 58mm flat-width ones (Magnum XL) and they fit just fine. I'm about 5.5"-5.75" girth, which isn't a hell of a lot above average, so I can believe bigger guys when they say that condoms don't fit.
Condoms are usually way longer than average, so you'll rarely run into problems on that end. If you're uncut and wear them the comfortable way (roll it on with the foreskin pulled back, roll the foreskin forward) you're going to use like an extra 2", though.
The hell is that kind of condom?
Looks uncomfortable as fuck. No wonder americans say they don't feel anything with a condom. Looks like you're putting a fucking plastic bag on your dick.
It might be the brand I got
One of those Trojan bare skin condoms and it was literally horse cock size I couldn't even get it to stay on but regular condoms won't even fit me. I legit got that bare skin and was like what the fuck am I small as fuck? I have an 8 inch cock...
I tried when I was 15 my Chad brother hid condoms under the bed, I wounded what it would be like to fap with one so I took one he never even noticed
Had trouble getting it on but as is turns out it Dident make fapping feel any better
Does anyone here know if sex with a condom works and isn't painful if you have phimosis (can't retract)?
I got my chance to find out once but couldn't get hard with the condom on
Fuck I hate them
I've had this problem too, I couldn't ever keep it up if I threw on a condom.
Ended up having to use the much more expensive larger sized one.
They never talk about what happens when you have too large of a dick :c
I don't if condoms help, but you can get that treated.
It shouldn't cost much, and I don't think it'll be anything like getting a full circumcision.
I was circumcised at birth, so I've never had the problem, but even if it was just like a curcumsision, you won't lose much pleasure
In your case, you'd gain a lot of pleasure, no offense.
Even if your spaghetti level is maxed, you can still just go to your doc and tell him you need your dick chopped.
It won't be that bad anon. And you'll be able to have sex like an animal. And fap to goof porn without pain, forever.
Remember, King Louis XVI had the same issue, it's not something to be ashamed about. You should get it fixed tho, soon, because king Louis waited and it looked bad for his mrs.
But I digress. Maybe good doctors appointments and sex to you friend!
>tfw can't use normal condoms
It's not fun at all. At least my pullout game is strong
I listen to a radio show that deals with drugs and sex and relationships, all things I have no experience with but it's interesting to listen to, and they said that the pill or thing they put in your arm(arm thing especially) is better than a condom for preventing a kid and condoms are mainly used to prevent STDs. Obviously condoms are still a form of birth control, but no need for one if your girl has the arm injection or is good at taking the pill
He's right anon, look at the wiki article
Looks pretty dope desu.
I'll attach a screenshot, just in case you're lazy.
how do you know which end to insert your dick into?
You've never bought a condom before, so it's not too unreasonable an assumption.
Personally, I have a vague idea that it shouldn't be inside out and the tip should be pinched(?), but no more.
Nah don't worry it's cool homie, plus if he gets his girl pregnant he can snag an extra 500 a month in gov support. Then in 3 months he could throw up the roc and bounce to another state we he gets sick of that bitch and kid. #Slay #dab #hova #kanye #weezy #leanin #burrrr #keepit100 #truth
Reminds me of an old joke
>Guy comes into drug store
>"Sup, I need a motherfucking condom, and make it fucking quick!
>Clerk: Sir, I beg you! Mind your tongue.
>You're right. Make that two condoms.
>stole a condom from my brother when i was 12
>tried it on
>it was too small
Was sure they were normal condoms because my brother got a lot of them from a friend who was in a gay parade in sweden
this happened to me a few times couldnt get the thing on was really difficult and id start losing my stiffy, i just practiced at it a bit they will fit on if im not at full mast was really uncomfortable at first but i kind of got use to it cause i started to use them whenever i jerked off. not really worth the expense but better than the plain old rub and tug.
Here's what you do. Google trannies in your area. If you have to speak to them on chat, act weak, pathetic and ultimately, submissive. If they prostitutes, act submissive. Trannies cannot pass up an oppertunity to have sex with something more submissive than they are and get off on domination. Enjoy you good peepee feels. With women, I can't really help you. If you just want to reproduce, then get swole and play the big man. By the time you've inseminated them, it will too late for them to say you've got a pecker to all thir gal-pals.
My problem isn't conedoms being too big haha
actually the problem for me is they don't fitting because I have very big dick
actually measured it before and was around 7 inch and 3.5 quarter inch
sucks that people here have small dicks that condoms are too small lol what the heck but yeah
I got normal size at first try and had trouble fitting it in.
Second try, it fit but barely, the bottom would hurt a little.
People told me being too big for a normal sized condom is not possible but I'm not so sure.
i know it was because of the girth, im not that long. Just don't want to measure it because she said almost all men she met tells her their penis size somehow and now I stupidly don't wanna be one of them.
She's gone anyway, though. Sad stuff.
>tfw only fit in magnums
Shit sucks, one time I didn't have one on me and I had to use the babby condom the girl had. It straight up suffocated my dick and I got soft within seconds. Needless to say she was not pleased.
Of course I shave my butthole anon! And I'm thinking about removing da penis when I can finalise insurance stuff and get scheduled for the operation and get over the fear of what exactly that fucking surgery is
Okie give me a few minutes, I'm at work
>I was circumcised at birth, so I've never had the problem, but even if it was just like a curcumsision, you won't lose much pleasure
How would you know?
You've never been uncircumcised so you've never experienced full dick sensitivity
sorry I'm late, senpais
I've never tried one but I have had sex. Thank God I know what it's like to cum in a pussy because that was five years ago and it hasn't happened since and will probably never happen again.
PROTIP for all the dicklets, anyone who claims to be over 7 inches with under 5 inches of girth is 100% lying, I'm 6 inches of girth and it's not even that impressive at 7+ inches with 4 inch girth you'd look like your dick is a straw
>I'm 6 inches of girth and it's not even that impressive
>6" of girth
Is fucking Shane Diesel considered the minimum standard for dick girth now or something jesus christ.
Have fapped with them to see what it felt like. Was enjoyable but nothing extraordinary. Virgin so no idea what its like with a girl.
Got given some in some student pack and they were too small.
>tfw regular size condoms fit just fine
>tfw no small dick to blame on my insecurities
>tfw no big dick to make myself feel confident
Asleep my dick is almost 6 inches of girth maybe I'm measuring wrong cause no way all other dicks are so small, how do you guys measure? I usually wrap floss or a measuring tape. Do you just put the ruler over it cause then I'm 2+ inches of girth which would make sense I guess
I have tiny tranny tits, barely A cups
but at least they're there
>maybe I'm measuring wrong cause no way all other dicks are so small
How about you use the internet fuckhead. I'm not going to spoonfeed you information that takes 5 seconds to google.
But the internet can't tell me how YOU measure it, I asked YOU specifically I can't really search up "how does anon measure his girth" since you're not that important. So I ask again, how do YOU anon measure your girth.
fucking gross. this shit is nasty
just how small is your dick ?
The size difference between those two condoms is negligible
>Tried on a condom and it was just to small.
You mean the same condom that is tested with 5+ liters of air and doesn't break is too small for you ?
what man these are the exact brand i was using
those things are really really snug like i was partly practicing with them cause i thought they might break since it felt so tight. i mean yeah bareskin it's bound to be kind of a tight fit or whatever.
I'm an computer engineer. It pays pretty decently
Try a gas station condom. I was horny and desperate once and got one. It was hell to get on and hurt until it finally squeezed the life out of my dick and I gave up.
I suggest bathmate, or at least the cheap verion found on dhgate/aliexpress which is exactly the same except shipped from china instead of america and like 5% of the price.
It actually works and you stay above baseline until your next shower, assuming you bathe daily. It's just kind of a bummer if you quit. I had gotten used to my new normal and after I stopped using a couple days I felt like a needle dick nerdtron when I had to get it up. I'm ordering a second to keep in my gymbag which is always in my car with soap, shampoo, toothbrush, and an emergency spare of clothes. Now my noodle is never a needle as long as I have a private bathroom and 10 minutes to myself before gametime.
Sorry senpai...I'm running low on lewd pics on my phone and not in a position to take more
It's pretty boring at my current job. Tolerable, but mind-numbing-- mostly copy/paste from existing code and making small changes. Soooooo much more boring than studying CE in college...I'm looking into switching jobs, but I may go back to academia even though it pays less, it's a lot more interesting. What area are you studying in?
And thanks senpai
Not that guy but I suppose the job is easier than what you learned in college then? I always have concerns in the future that with what I'm learning won't prepare me for the work they want me to do at all unless it's basically "Get a degree and prove you can somewhat handle your shit and we'll teach you the rest at the job"
Yeah, it's pretty much just that haha. The work is wayyyyy easier than academic work prepared me for, so don't worry about that! At least, that's especially true for the intro level jobs...and the higher level jobs care more about your past experience on your resume though, so it's kind of a hard ceiling to break through.
OP your only hope is to be come a gril
Mine's only about 6" length-wise, but girthwise it's 5.75", which means even regular Magnums feel too tight on me.
>You mean the same condom that is tested with 5+ liters of air and doesn't break is too small for you ?
The smaller ones don't break, but that doesn't mean they feel at all comfortable.
Anyone else had an autistic idea of a prank go horribly wrong?
>be me a few hours ago
>boolin around in my friend's neighborhood, we walked to the store to get a lot of junk food
Later in the night we planned to get smoke on the water stoned
>was browsing a successful prank thread a few weeks ago
>decided i would try out a fairly simple prank on this occasion
>its the middle of the night, we are walking back to my friends house
>decide to slip into the shadows
>they walk like 10 or 20 yards before they notice im not around
>watch them from a distance, slowly sneaking around
Mind you this is in an upperclass white suburban neighborhood
>after about 10 minutes of trailing them i decide to take a shortcut to his house so i can sit on the doorstep and act like ive been waiting forever for them
>i start smeagling around peoples backyards and shit
>think i see a beeline to the target point
>book it like a librarian
>cops come across the corner
>roll up sirens blaring and stop me
>instead of running away from cops i comply
>they question me heavily until my friends show up and clear suspicion
I guess im lucky because i could have been arrested
>instead of me laughing at my friends, theyre pissed that i got notoriety on me because my friend was carrying pot
>am embarrassed as fuck, almost ruined a few lives
So, what have you robots been up to, hopefully you havent done anything more stupid than this even though my expectations are low
they suck don't they/.... your hand doesn't feel like a hand when you're in one huh?
the new "average" is like 7 inches.... 6 inchers are dicklets in this day :(
I hear you, it's awful,. it's like every guy born post 90 has fucking 7-8 inchers.
> they don't legally sell condoms skinny enough
Sure they do. They're called Hotshots. They make em for 12-14 yr olds, and Asians.
I don't even give a fuck no more
Even on r9k you can't find anyone below 5" anymore. Normies flood the thread with their big dicks
Fuck this gay place. These faggots are like redditors who just cannot shut the fuck up in a thread that's not about them
>robots whine about shitty life and shortcomings constantly
>thread about tiny penises
>everyone's cock is over 7 inches and girthy