Can someone please teach me how to stop giving so much of a shit.. what should i do?
All i think about almost throughout the majority of the day is how i look, how people think of me, did i make myself seem weird in front of her, are those guys going to laugh and snicker when i walk by, i hope she doesn't realize my shoes adds a couple inches, etc. etc. im so fucking insecure. Can someone please help?
How is that retarded? What advice were you expecting? A recipe to stop having social anxiety? You need to put yourself out there and get used.
>Let the worries pass you by
if i could do that, i wouldnt be here. teach me how to make them pass by. i cant stop myself from overanalyzing them and coming up with fake scenarios about people who dont care about me will react to me.
but when they look at me, they do notice. and then they form an opinion. and i am worried tha tit could be a bad opinion, its most likely a bad opinion because im not really great to look at and i do hear snickers and laughs when i walk by..
>You need to put yourself out there and get used.
i do put myself out there... i go to the gym, i have a job that deals with random people everyday, i go to college and see new faces everyday but my fears and worries wont leave.
Tell me why do you care so much what other people think about you. Do you crave attention? Do you want to be accepted? What's the deal if they have a bad opinion about you? Can't you just accept that? If you do something retarded, what gives?
Do you have an idea how many people I(and most people) see throughout the day? Do you know how many people stay with me by the end of the day? Unless you're like pair of bollocks on a bulldog chances are they won't think of you ever again. As for people you encounter every day, again if you're not morbidly obese, hideously disfigured, or remarkably ugly most of your visual flaws can be corrected.
Step 1: Identify what people dislike/find funny about you. Step 2: work to change it.
Get a haircut, dress better, look after your personal hygiene. If people's opinions bother you that much, this should come naturally to you.
When people won't be put off by your looks they'll start to communicate with you more often and your social skills will improve gradually.
>Do you crave attention?
not really, 9/10 when i do get it, it results in someone laughing or generally doing something that will bring down my spirits.
>Do you want to be accepted?
yes. i have so many flaws, i know ill never be accepted.
>What's the deal if they have a bad opinion about you?
well i want to be accepted and everytime their body language or gesture gives off a sign of rejection, it hurts my self esteem. ive gotten so much rejection(not verbal) over the years that i legit look a walking bag of insecurity.
>Can't you just accept that?
you know, whenever they do reject me, i tell myself "theyre just a random person ill never see again, so whatever" and that works for a little while, but then i get anxious for the next person i come into contact with or make any sort of eye contact with, and i worry if they will reject me too. i think my self esteem really depends on the validation of others
>If you do something retarded, what gives?
getting laughed is a sign of rejection, and it'll kill me if too many people laugh at me.
Your fear of rejection is what makes you insecure and your insecurity is what makes you be awkward and in the end be rejected. Then again, most of it is in your head. That which you interpret as a sign of "rejection" is really one? You should start by accepting yourself and your flaws. People don't like someone who is always insecure.
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Basically this. We care too much about what others think.
We are but barely evolved apes with such a narrow view of the world. The majority may as well be NPC's, being slaves to conformity and inhibition. We've been indoctrinated to value the wrong things. We've propensities to determine a soul's value by all the wrong things. Realize this and the critical opinions of others suddenly mean
As if pleasing society means anything. It should be fine to be more selfish in this regard. I think we should be persistently focused on what could benefit this experience, rendering it a more fulfilling one. It comes just once and it's relatively short, may as well enjoy the ride, you know we all desire to. We'll certainly regret letting such menial things obstruct our potential for substantial experiences.
here is more of nude goalie
also got 2 more of her naked here is 1 of them
here is the last one it showers where she poopoos from
Well then you're fucked.
But honestly, you have to be fucking hideous for people to outright refuse to interact with you. And they must be complete assholes to make fun of you because of your looks. We're not in highschool anymore. Sure, they won't fuck you, that's a given. However, if you're a decent, polite person you'll make friends. Keep working on your social skills. At some point, down the road you might even come across someone who'll like you enough to hook up.
I am not ugly but because school was shit it turned me into an asshole and I have a hard time maintaining friendships. I am so lonely I will be cool but understanding they are busy all the time upsets me. I can not seem to do it. I will be cool and friendly for years and just try to hang out they will say no, and I will be so pissed off because it takes a long time of knowing somebody till they will feel comfy around you to hang out. Small talk is not my issue I am not him, but I just want people to hang out with.
Being flawed is not abnormal. Humans are profoundly flawed beings. There's not much we can do after realising but accept this by forgiving ourselves for being so imperfect. Have some compassion for yourself, we're all so critical of ourselves all the time.
Just like everyone has their cons, they've their pros. See "missing tile syndrome". Capitalize on your pros and they may protrude your flaws.