I am at work right now. I work with the bosses sister who is an absolute roastie whore.
Typical I graduated with arts degree and had no skills so now I answer phones.
She is in her 40's so she is an older roastie but still a roastie.
Small event this morning
>Get to work first
>First in office so i turn on lights and radio
>Change off her top 40 pop radio which plays the same 6 songs on repeat, justin bieber, black guy, whore pop, black girl, guy whiny song, rap pop and repeat
>change it off her station and tune into some indie pop station (Anything is better then hers)
>She gets in and sits down
>After half an hour "Anon..... did you change the station"
>"I swear someone did and you are the only one here"
>Nah wasn't me
>She lost her station and doesn't know what it was to tune it back
>A small win for the robots
Currently planning on going into her work email and deleting any unread emails. I work in construction and I know any delay in materials, missed payments or emails with contractors will cause her to lose her job.
I want her fucking gone
She went downstairs to get her coffee (memedrink)
>Sneak over to desk to try and get into her email
>Computer swiched off for some reason
>Lower her chair to the lowest setting and unlock recliner part
>I am now ready and waiting for her to sit down and spill her coffee all over herself
TODAY IS THE DAY ROBOTS
WE ARE TAKING OVER THIS OFFICE
>To make a roastie spill her coffee is not a sin, it is the path to NEETdom!
She sat down and it spilled on her blouse . I hope it burnt her tits the fucking cow.
>"WHAT THE HELL!!!, Anon did you do this what happened? QUICK GET A TOWEL!"
>Tell her hang on I am busy and ask her what happened
>She started yelling to help her!
>I keep saying wait, hang on, wait and then tell her I need to save my files
>This seriously gave me an amazing feeling of power
>I give her a single tissue and walk downstairs
I have never felt this alive. I am currently downstairs in the kitchen looking the in fridge to find her lunch
For you, this is very dam real. I need to be careful with pictures though. Although I hate working with her, I do want to keep my job.
A tradie came inside so I rushed back upstairs, they intimidate me.
She is currently outside in her car so I had to be quick. She has 4 kids which are all fucking hideous fucks who she makes play her on softball team.
I want her GONE! I hate her and her fucking music.
AND SHE IS IN CHARGE OF OUR ACCOUNTS! I AM 3 WEEKS BEHIND ON MY PAY!
HOLY FUCK. Today is the fucking day.
Something big is happening and I am not sure what but today I am doing something.
excellent work OP. This thread has potential to be remembered for ages.
OP, your time is now. Do something and fuck up her comp or something. Look up a .bin file that autoruns and opens/closes her tray repeatedly and shit like that.
She is back upstairs on her SECOND COFFEE!!
I hate the fucking smell so much and she puts heaps of this artificial honey inside of it.
I fed up with all of this.
I am going downstairs right now to dip my cock in the coffee machine and pee in the water.
I am posting pictures for proof and as soon as this bitch drinks the new batch I will try and snap a picture.
good lick op. bernie the cuck sanders will not win.
Good luck Pajeet, you're going to need a designated shitting cup.
THE HERO THE OFFICE DESERVES
BUT NOT THE ONE IT NEEDS RIGHT NOW
JUST BE CAREFUL LAD
YOU ARE DOING THE GOD'S WORK BUT THIS WHOLE THING WILL BE EVEN BETTER IF YOU DON'T GET FIRED
MODS DO NOT DELETE IT
pee pee comes out
And now we wait. This is going to be a long day my friends, this is al for you. For every single one of you.
I also have a huge closet of chemicals I can use. pic when i can
Marvelous, fellow robot. Just marvelous.
>implying any of this is real
>implying you're not doing all this at home
>implying you won't "conveniently" miss getting a good picture of her sipping the coffee
post a better timestamp fag, i really do want to believe
OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD
>don't get caught tho nigger
>Inb4 boiling piss smells up that entire room
It looks like a keurig type single service machine, those things compress the liquid through heated metal instead of bringing it all to a boil like a percolator.
I'm not going to kill her...I think
But I am leaning more to using an adhesive to fuck with her stuff.
Pic is the storage room.
So, basically she hasn't done anything to you at all worth mentioning and you're going to get yourself fired because you're bitter about being a worthless fucking loser with an arts degree and a job you resent?
You stupid fuck is this just a game to you?
I am posting picture of her now. I will get a shot of her drinking the next batch of coffee I am taking it. If not I need to dump it out because I didn't think this through. If someones sees it i am fucked
Godspeed. You need to make sure that she drinks the coffee. DO. NOT. BAIL.
OP here, last post for a while if not last post.I am sorry for anti climatic ending but boss just came in and is about to have his coffee.
I need to pour it out NOW. I am going to get fucked over if I don't.
Please at least know I tried and all coffee drunk now will be from my dick pee residue.
Please watch out this week for my threads because I will do more. I promise you.
literally nothing, just an address I have been in charge of monitoring for new jobs.
If you want her gone, you'll have to make her quit on her own terms.
Using piss in the water filter for coffee isn't enough. You should trash that idea.
Do some more subtle stuff like arranging things at her work station. At least with that you won't get fucked for tampering with company "assets"
I am very sorry guys. I don't mean to let you down. I have to actually work now. I tried and somewhat failed.
Because she is a roastie whore. If you don't understand please get the fuck off r9k
I am sorry
She asked me if I wanted a coffee and I scoffed and said nope.
Because I am a university graduate. I already got skilled but I just don't want to use. I'd rather be doing nothing on centerlink
I am thinking tomorrow I am going to use an adhesive to glue all her papers together. I can just say something spilt and it wasnt me.
Every single day.
I have more folders of frogs on my work computer then I do of work stuff.
>using adhesive to glue all her papers together.
See, that's more like it.
Bonus points if you do shit like switching the layout on her monitor, changing the language on her keyboard (German switches the Y and Z keys, and keeps most english letters), tampering with the seat cushion, slightly altering the wheels on her chair.
It's little annoying things like that that would make her start complaining about work and most likely leave.
Bonus points if you pretend to not know what she's complaining about and have other people dismiss her entirely.
Oh yeah, and if you haven't brought up the 3 weeks late payroll thing with someone else, you should get on that before she comes up with some bullshit excuse.
Source: I used to work with someone who pulled the exact same shit.
>mfw this is actually happening
>mfw OP is probably an ausfag
>I was original in that comment and yet forgot the image I meant to post
I am still here.
Unfortunately since my boss is here I can no longer ruin her life.. for now. He is constantly giving me work to do so I have no time to fuck with the roastie. But if it makes everyone feel better. My whole office is sipping on my dick dipped coffee with a hint of piss residue and the container will forever have small bits of piss and cock. Even when I am fired the coffee will remain to ruin these asshole lives. Especially the woman. Expect more posts this week. I have been thinking of using the adhesive to fuck with her stuff on her desk and also messing with her work phone.
I am welcome to suggestions but I think today I nearly went to far. I nearly got caught by my boss.
You shouldn't make people drink your piss bro. That's nasty as fuck.
Man, these normies deserve it. Seriously. They boss me around and talk to me like I am a cockroach. Especially the woman. She never tells me when my pay is late, how much she is paying me and she has all control on when I get my money.
Or I can just leave bloody tampons in the bathroom with my own blood?
Shes the only female in the office so she will automatically get the blame.
That's assuming they don't picture me with a tampon in my ass or something
You're really not very smart, are you? They're going to know it was you and then you're going to have to explain yourself, and because you're a fucking moron, you won't have a good explanation and she'll be perfectly entitled to have you on bullying and harassment charges and your life will be even more fucked than it is now.
This whole thread is you taking out your failures on someone who has done nothing to you.
So it's been 4 hours now, has anyone drank the pee pee coffee yet?
>A small win for the robots
lol but true
>OP wants to get bitch fired
>engages in stupid pranks that are more likely to get him fired
>posts evidence on an anonymous cambodian yak milking forum which will be archived.
Enjoy your neetbux OP
I will chronicle OP's victories in Pepe form.
You guys do know this is a obvious troll thread right?
Not a single picture of proof for anything besides a fake dick in a glass jug.
The "piss" could be absolutely ANYTHING and does not even look like piss.
How are you people so easily trolled? All requests for more proof were ignored.
I'd never thought a robot would stand up for himself, but here we are, in the big, wild world.
Talk to your fucking boss then retard. You might be mentally impaired, but how hard is it to talk to someone, don't fucking complain if you aren't going to take actual steps to fix your issue. Fucking kill yourself.
I'm from /fit/ btw, >reeeeeeeeeeeee desu senpai