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I am at work right now. I work with the bosses...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 121
Thread images: 48
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I am at work right now. I work with the bosses sister who is an absolute roastie whore.

Typical I graduated with arts degree and had no skills so now I answer phones.

She is in her 40's so she is an older roastie but still a roastie.

Small event this morning
>Get to work first
>First in office so i turn on lights and radio
>Change off her top 40 pop radio which plays the same 6 songs on repeat, justin bieber, black guy, whore pop, black girl, guy whiny song, rap pop and repeat
>change it off her station and tune into some indie pop station (Anything is better then hers)
>She gets in and sits down
>After half an hour "Anon..... did you change the station"
>Nope
>"I swear someone did and you are the only one here"
>Nah wasn't me
>She lost her station and doesn't know what it was to tune it back
>A small win for the robots

Currently planning on going into her work email and deleting any unread emails. I work in construction and I know any delay in materials, missed payments or emails with contractors will cause her to lose her job.

I want her fucking gone
>>
Kek
Doing God's work, op.
>>
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>>26349461

GOOD WORK KEEP ME POSTED
>>
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Update #1

She went downstairs to get her coffee (memedrink)

>Sneak over to desk to try and get into her email
>Computer swiched off for some reason
>no matter
>Lower her chair to the lowest setting and unlock recliner part
>I am now ready and waiting for her to sit down and spill her coffee all over herself

TODAY IS THE DAY ROBOTS
WE ARE TAKING OVER THIS OFFICE
>>
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>>26349772
>To make a roastie spill her coffee is not a sin, it is the path to NEETdom!
>>
>>26349772
Well done. Once it starts it can not stop. c:
>>
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Update #2

She sat down and it spilled on her blouse . I hope it burnt her tits the fucking cow.

>"WHAT THE HELL!!!, Anon did you do this what happened? QUICK GET A TOWEL!"
>Tell her hang on I am busy and ask her what happened
>She started yelling to help her!
>I keep saying wait, hang on, wait and then tell her I need to save my files
>This seriously gave me an amazing feeling of power
>I give her a single tissue and walk downstairs

I have never felt this alive. I am currently downstairs in the kitchen looking the in fridge to find her lunch
>>
>>26350102
10/10 kid, don't get cocky
>>
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TIMESTAMP fgt... I am trying to believe
>>
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inb4 this ends with OP getting fired.
>>
inb4 OP gets fired
>>
This is fucking beautiful
Please continue your mischievous escapades
>>
BUMP
OP PLS UPDATE
I NEED MOAR VENGEANCE
>>
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DEVLISH
E
V
L
I
S
H
>>
>>26350190
For you, this is very dam real. I need to be careful with pictures though. Although I hate working with her, I do want to keep my job.

A tradie came inside so I rushed back upstairs, they intimidate me.

She is currently outside in her car so I had to be quick. She has 4 kids which are all fucking hideous fucks who she makes play her on softball team.

I want her GONE! I hate her and her fucking music.

AND SHE IS IN CHARGE OF OUR ACCOUNTS! I AM 3 WEEKS BEHIND ON MY PAY!

HOLY FUCK. Today is the fucking day.
Something big is happening and I am not sure what but today I am doing something.
>>
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>tfw OP lost his job
>>
Bump this is gold
>>
Let's go OP
The time for Retribution is upon you
You have my blessing
Ad Victoriam, soldier
>>
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>>26350550
excellent work OP. This thread has potential to be remembered for ages.
>>
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>>26350550
OP, your time is now. Do something and fuck up her comp or something. Look up a .bin file that autoruns and opens/closes her tray repeatedly and shit like that.
>>
>>26350710
Or you could go the classic killstick route and put the delsys34 script on a flashdrive
>>
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Monitoring this thread closely
>>
>>26349772
how the fuck is coffee a meme drink?
>>
>>26349461
How are you a robot when you are working and talking to a female
>>
>>26349772
>>Computer swiched off for some reason
>>no matter
>>Lower her chair to the lowest setting and unlock recliner part

fucking keked, Plan B sometimes ends up being much better
>>
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UPDATE

She is back upstairs on her SECOND COFFEE!!
I hate the fucking smell so much and she puts heaps of this artificial honey inside of it.

I fed up with all of this.

I am going downstairs right now to dip my cock in the coffee machine and pee in the water.

I am posting pictures for proof and as soon as this bitch drinks the new batch I will try and snap a picture.
>>
Glue a couple of her keys down on the keyboard.
>>
INB4 OP murders her
>>
>>26350798
OP YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN
I SALUTE YOU, O MIGHTY ONE
>>
>>26350798
Nah it's not just her that drinks coffee. Some tradie will beat the shit out of you if they find out you stuck your dick in their coffee.
>>
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>>26350798
good lick op. bernie the cuck sanders will not win.
>>
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>>26350798
Good luck Pajeet, you're going to need a designated shitting cup.
>>
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>>26350798
THE HERO THE OFFICE DESERVES
BUT NOT THE ONE IT NEEDS RIGHT NOW
>>
Cock goes in
>>
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>>26350798
JUST BE CAREFUL LAD

YOU ARE DOING THE GOD'S WORK BUT THIS WHOLE THING WILL BE EVEN BETTER IF YOU DON'T GET FIRED

MODS DO NOT DELETE IT
>>
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A B S O
L U T E
M A D
W A G IE
>>
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pee pee comes out

And now we wait. This is going to be a long day my friends, this is al for you. For every single one of you.


I also have a huge closet of chemicals I can use. pic when i can
>>
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>>26350956
M A D M A N
A
D
M
A
N

ORIGINALE LALALA
>>
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>>26350956
TOP KEK NIGGA
>>
>>26350956
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
THE NONBELIEVERS HAVE BEEN SLAYED
NU MANTIA
LIBERTY
LET ALL KNOW FREE WILL AND DO AS THEY WILL
DAWN IS BREAKING
>>
>>26350956
>OP's monster dong
Holy shit, was not expecting that.
>>
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>>26350997
Marvelous, fellow robot. Just marvelous.
>>
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>>26350798
>implying any of this is real
>implying you're not doing all this at home
>implying you won't "conveniently" miss getting a good picture of her sipping the coffee
post a better timestamp fag, i really do want to believe
>>
>>26350956
please post pics shes drinking coffee
pretty please
>>
>>26350997
>chemicals

so you're going to murder her by poison?

think about what you are doing anon.
>>
>>26350956
Nice dick op
>>
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This cant end well. Hope you are hydrated op.
>>
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>>26350102
>believing this
oh
>>
>>26350997
Inb4 boiling piss smells up that entire room. Seconding OP's monster dong, if you get busted the bitches will be all over your mischievous ass.
>>
POSTING IN LE EPIC BREAD
>MODS
MODS DON'T DELETE, PLEASE ARCHIVE WHEN IT'S OVER
>>
>>26351078
>wait you pissed in it?
>oh anon you're such a tease haha xD

>>26350997
what does your colleague look like? pics?
>>
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>>26350956
>>26350997
Ops done it again
>>
>>26350997
Holy fucking love of god, OP you need to shit in her coffee mix, IMMEDIATELY. MAKE HER DRINK YOUR PISS MIXED WITH YOUR SHIT!
>>
>>26350997
OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD OP IS GOD
>don't get caught tho nigger
>>
>>26351078
>Inb4 boiling piss smells up that entire room
It looks like a keurig type single service machine, those things compress the liquid through heated metal instead of bringing it all to a boil like a percolator.
>>
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>>26351055
I'm not going to kill her...I think
But I am leaning more to using an adhesive to fuck with her stuff.
Pic is the storage room.
>>
>>26351259
Get a pic of her from behind to prove this is legit
>>
So, basically she hasn't done anything to you at all worth mentioning and you're going to get yourself fired because you're bitter about being a worthless fucking loser with an arts degree and a job you resent?
>>
>>26350981
this piss is a stupid idea... at least dilute it. You're going to get caught.
>>
>>26351259
MORE UPDATES MORE UPDATES
>>
>>26351285
Neck yourself, normie scum
>>
>>26351285
Fuck normie reee yada yada
>>
>>26351039
You stupid fuck is this just a game to you?
I am posting picture of her now. I will get a shot of her drinking the next batch of coffee I am taking it. If not I need to dump it out because I didn't think this through. If someones sees it i am fucked
>>
>>26350838
>muel
Conservitards confirmed for illiterate
>>
>>26351329
Godspeed OP, bail out while you can imo.

Captcha is coffee lmao
>>
>>26351329
i cant grasp what youre so mad about. are you retarded?
>>
>>26351329
>that address

This is going to get intradesting
>>
Gonna get fired nigga
>>
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>>26351329
Godspeed. You need to make sure that she drinks the coffee. DO. NOT. BAIL.
>>
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>>26351329

Op you are an inspiration. God speed!
>>
This is one of those threads where robots perfectly illustrate why nobody likes them.

You're a fucking tard, OP. I hope you get everything that is coming to you when you're caught.
>>
>>26351329
Record her reaction, tell us what she says word to word.
>>
OP here, last post for a while if not last post.I am sorry for anti climatic ending but boss just came in and is about to have his coffee.
I need to pour it out NOW. I am going to get fucked over if I don't.


Please at least know I tried and all coffee drunk now will be from my dick pee residue.
Please watch out this week for my threads because I will do more. I promise you.
>>26351373
literally nothing, just an address I have been in charge of monitoring for new jobs.
>>
>>26351259

Ausbro why don't you just get an apprenticeship to gain skills?
>>
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>>26351329
is this her desu?
>>
>>26351329
>lol guys i dont want to get fired
>address right in the center of the image
>its in australia
>home of shitposting

POTTERY
O
T
T
E
R
Y
pretty sure this is top ruse. noice 1 m8
>>
>>26351329
If you want her gone, you'll have to make her quit on her own terms.

Using piss in the water filter for coffee isn't enough. You should trash that idea.

Do some more subtle stuff like arranging things at her work station. At least with that you won't get fucked for tampering with company "assets"
>>
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Do you want to become a NEET, OP?
>>
I am very sorry guys. I don't mean to let you down. I have to actually work now. I tried and somewhat failed.
>>26351372
Because she is a roastie whore. If you don't understand please get the fuck off r9k
>>26351422
>>26351442
I am sorry
>>26351469
She asked me if I wanted a coffee and I scoffed and said nope.
>>26351487
Because I am a university graduate. I already got skilled but I just don't want to use. I'd rather be doing nothing on centerlink
>>26351488
Nope
>>26351518
Detective *tip*
>>26351538
I am thinking tomorrow I am going to use an adhesive to glue all her papers together. I can just say something spilt and it wasnt me.
>>
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>>26351633
Every single day.

I have more folders of frogs on my work computer then I do of work stuff.
>>
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>>26351654
>using adhesive to glue all her papers together.

See, that's more like it.
Bonus points if you do shit like switching the layout on her monitor, changing the language on her keyboard (German switches the Y and Z keys, and keeps most english letters), tampering with the seat cushion, slightly altering the wheels on her chair.

It's little annoying things like that that would make her start complaining about work and most likely leave.

Bonus points if you pretend to not know what she's complaining about and have other people dismiss her entirely.

Oh yeah, and if you haven't brought up the 3 weeks late payroll thing with someone else, you should get on that before she comes up with some bullshit excuse.

Source: I used to work with someone who pulled the exact same shit.
>>
>>26351654
RIP

Good thread tho. Glad to see roasties getting btfo.
>>
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>>26350956

>mfw this is actually happening

>mfw OP is probably an ausfag
>>
The hero r9k deserves
>>
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>>26352514
>I was original in that comment and yet forgot the image I meant to post
>>
Where's OP? We need updates you faggot
>>
>>26351445
Nobody on here wants to be liked by others, don't you get it? Only failed normies pander for sympathy.
>>
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>>26352763
I am still here.
Unfortunately since my boss is here I can no longer ruin her life.. for now. He is constantly giving me work to do so I have no time to fuck with the roastie. But if it makes everyone feel better. My whole office is sipping on my dick dipped coffee with a hint of piss residue and the container will forever have small bits of piss and cock. Even when I am fired the coffee will remain to ruin these asshole lives. Especially the woman. Expect more posts this week. I have been thinking of using the adhesive to fuck with her stuff on her desk and also messing with her work phone.

I am welcome to suggestions but I think today I nearly went to far. I nearly got caught by my boss.
>>
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>>26352848
You shouldn't make people drink your piss bro. That's nasty as fuck.
>>
>>26352980
>yfw


Man, these normies deserve it. Seriously. They boss me around and talk to me like I am a cockroach. Especially the woman. She never tells me when my pay is late, how much she is paying me and she has all control on when I get my money.
>>
>>26351285
white knight pls leave she it not going to give you pussy points for defending her on the internet.
>>
>>26352848

Take a red marker, smear it on a tampon to look like blood and leave it on her desk.
>>
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>>26353133
Or I can just leave bloody tampons in the bathroom with my own blood?

Shes the only female in the office so she will automatically get the blame.

That's assuming they don't picture me with a tampon in my ass or something
>>
>>26353202

You're really not very smart, are you? They're going to know it was you and then you're going to have to explain yourself, and because you're a fucking moron, you won't have a good explanation and she'll be perfectly entitled to have you on bullying and harassment charges and your life will be even more fucked than it is now.

This whole thread is you taking out your failures on someone who has done nothing to you.
>>
You are human garbage OP. I hope you realize how worthless you are. Kill yourself.
>>
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So it's been 4 hours now, has anyone drank the pee pee coffee yet?
>>
>>26353287
>>26353384
Witholding pay is a perfect excuse. Please end your lives normies.
>>
its been an hour since OP's last post most likely he got punished and found out. probably fired.

but OP I will archive this thread.
>>
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>>26349461
>A small win for the robots
loooooooooooooooool

lol but true
>>
>>26353442

It's illegal for them not to pay you. Have you actually complained formally, or are you a predictable omega loser who hasn't done a thing to resolve your problems?
>>
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>OP wants to get bitch fired
>engages in stupid pranks that are more likely to get him fired
>posts evidence on an anonymous cambodian yak milking forum which will be archived.

Enjoy your neetbux OP
>>
>>26352566
I will chronicle OP's victories in Pepe form.
>>
so is OP dead? I need some kind of information here
>>
>>26350102
If true you are horrible, be nice to people, ass holes respawn as robots you know
>>
You guys do know this is a obvious troll thread right?

Not a single picture of proof for anything besides a fake dick in a glass jug.

The "piss" could be absolutely ANYTHING and does not even look like piss.

How are you people so easily trolled? All requests for more proof were ignored.
>>
>>26354348
>The "piss" could be absolutely ANYTHING and does not even look like piss.
You seem to be very certain, piss inspector.
>>
>>26349772
gods work son
>>
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Thread Dead Redemption
>>
>>26356212
Ew wtf haha never would've thought I'd see a cat mid vomit
>>
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>>26356559
I'd never thought a robot would stand up for himself, but here we are, in the big, wild world.

Penis
>>
>>26353057
Talk to your fucking boss then retard. You might be mentally impaired, but how hard is it to talk to someone, don't fucking complain if you aren't going to take actual steps to fix your issue. Fucking kill yourself.

I'm from /fit/ btw, >reeeeeeeeeeeee desu senpai
>>
>>26349772
Fucking idiot, lol
>>
3bh OP you're a fucking lame, probably mad because she rejected your ugly ass.
>>
>>26350550
Inb4 OP goes postal
>>
>>26350798
The truth is even if you do make her fuck up, she is the boss's sister. You'd get fired before she would - blame normies
>>
You realize your computer is probably bugged right
>>
Is this where you work?

http://claudeneon.com.au/
>>
>>26359253
>http://claudeneon.com.au/
You are bumping a thread that is over 5 hours old. OP is long gone and it was an obvious troll.
>>
>>26351654

what degree did you get m8?
>>
Legendary thread.
>>
hello just saw this posted on reddit so funny xD xD xD
Thread replies: 121
Thread images: 48
Thread DB ID: 497058



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