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>Be me
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 83
Thread images: 15
>Be me
>Browsing internet in room
>Have blue gatorade that I'm currently drinking
>Almost done with it
>Forget about it for a little bit
>Remember I'm thirsty, go to drink the rest of it without looking
>Godawful taste in my mouth
>Smell familiar smell
>It's the same smell as when you kill an ant
>I just drank a ton of ants

I've never felt more autistic in my entirel ife
>>
Do you feel em crawling in your throat and shit? That'd be hot af desu.
>>
>>26348287

this is my fetish

for real

does ant death smell a certain way?
>>
>>26348287
No, I guess they were dead by that time, I just spit out a bunch of dead ants and was horrified with myself.

>>26348310
If you've ever killed an ant, it can give off a very strong smell of nail polish remover. I don't know if this goes for all types of ants, but the tiny black ones that invade my house do this all the time.
>>
>>26348387
If you find anymore ants, you must swallow them live and stuff them in your pants.
There is no escaping this fate.
>>
How do ants get in the bottle? Do you not put on the cap?
>>
>>26348310
>>26348387
Ant-death smell is the result of signalling chemicals they give off, "we're getting fucked up over here, need back up".

Also
>into ant-vore

End thine own mortal coil, fiend.
>>
>>26348287
>>26348310
Holy fuck. I knew this board was full of autists but Jesus Christ you two are fucking mental.
Seek help.
>>
>>26348450
No, I like half-closed the cap because I was still currently drinking it and also I'm an idiot.
>>
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Here's the bottle, there's a lot more ants in there though.
>>
>>26348769
What the fuck? Those are ants? They look like fucking bread crumbs. They can be that fucking small?
Holy shit now I'm paranoid.
>>
>>26348769
>>26348769
FUCK that shit happened to me too, I was eating a bag of left-open chips in the dark and tasted the same fucking ant-chemical shit
>>
>>26348769
Why do you have ants in your room anyways? Get some traps and bug-spray exterior-liner.
>>
>>26348769
You need to check your room for anymore of those ants and then work on finding the source.
Because sooner or later you're gonna wake up with ants inside your dick or in your mouth.
>>
>>26348799
I guess the size can vary depending on where you live?
>>
>>26348769
i was eating a bunch of sugar while playing vidya, yes straight up sugar, i know im fucking fat (500 lbs.) i left the jar open and fell alseep, woke up at 2 AM, started eating my sugar, smelt that ant chemical smell, i was so sleepy didnt even realize, just gobbled down the sugar. i woke up at 3 PM, went to take a piss, looked at the mirror, and my face was COVERED in ants. i openeed my mouth, and my tongue looked almost black with all the ants crawling inside it.
>>
>>26348817
The reason I have ants in my room is because I do dumb shit like leave gatorade bottles open.
>>
>>26348883
Dude, did you not feel them? Holy fuck
>>
>>26348883
>Eating straight sugar.
Holy fuck its like you're asking for diabetes.
>>
>>26348987
i have a lot of pimples on my tongue because of the medication im taking, and my tongue always feels tingly, so i just assumed the tingly feeling was just ants
>>26349031
i already have diabetes
>>
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>>26348799
They're called sugar ants, where do you live that you don't have those, anon?
>>
>>26348834
No, they're called sugar ants. (For a good reason.)
They are literally everywhere.
>>
>>26348810
>>26348883
These stories make me feel better. I'm glad I'm not the only slob who accidentally gobbles ants.
>>
>>26348463
I-is ant-vore an actual thing? Like, is there a community of ant-vore people?
>>
>>26349334
Yeah, totally.
Have you even put an ant down your dick hole or let it crawl around your ass or mouth? Shit feels good desu.
>>
>>26348255
I know that feel.
>be 7 year old
>have habit of eating/drinking anything that I found on the ground
>chocolate, half eaten burger, if it looked good then I ate it
>walking home one day
>it was one of these small forests that have paths and shit
>see carton of grape juice
>pick it up, shake it
>"still some left"
>carton was open, so no need to open it myself
>smell the inside
>umai desu
>proceed to drinking the juice
>feel loads of small things within the juice flowing down my throat
>stop drinking, feel something on my lip
>it's an ant
>it's a fucking ant
>proceed to killing it
>as soon as I do, more crawl out
>run home to clean out my mouth
>i just drank a ton of ants
>didn't change my habit though

I have another story, no ants though
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>>26349421
pls tell B)
>>
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>Americans live with ants in their houses
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>>26349412
Nigga, an ant aint gonna crawl down your dickhole. It's just gonna crawl around the tip.
>>
>>26349421
>be me
>around the same age
>live in commie block in what was east germany
>9th floor, oftentimes i would run down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator
>it was a filthy block, the stairs always smelled of piss
>we were poor, and only drank tea; no soda and rarely ever did we have juice
>see bottle of what looks to be orange juice
>it was closed this time
>"guess someone left it there, might as well drink it" i thought to myself
>pick it up, it was slightly warm, that didn't bother me though
>take a sip
>tastes fucking weird, drink some more anyway
>after drinking half the bottle i came to a realisation
>i became enlightened, right then and there
>"this isn't orange juice"
>"in fact, this isn't juice at all"
>remember that it slightly warm
>remember that i was living in a disgusting piss filled commie block
>i just drank some poorfags piss
STILL didn't change my habit
>>
>>26349664
You're lucky you didn't get a fucking STD or some disease holy fuck.
>>
>>26349702
Only now did I realise how lucky I am. I would literally eat anything that looked good. As I said, we were poor, so anything like chocolate, waffles, sweets or anything else that I barely ever had I would eat, even if I found it right outside the trash. I didn't care.
>>
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>>26348499
Most of us are mental. Check out the mental illness generals for more information.

Also >having a fetish is weird
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>>26348883
500lbs isn't just "fat" at that point you're entering small whale territory. No wonder you have ants, you're drinking sugary drinks and eating straight sugar. What kind of caloric intake do you have to maintain that kind of figure???
>>
>>26348883
The ants were probably the halthiest thing you've ever consumed.
>>
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>>26349412

I thought I was the only one. I deliberately attract houseflies, haven't had enough ants.

Bumping for extreme interest.
>>
>>26349914
I'm a NEET that lives alone, my grandma's inheritance pays my rent, gaming habits, and food. It's a pretty large inheritance, I did the math and I can keep living like this for the next 6 years before I need a job. I've been doing this since I was 18, before I would just leech off my mom. My mom was pretty unhealthy and died of a stroke. On a usual day, I get up, eat 5 whole packs of oreos, 10 packs of doritos, a shitton of energy drinks, 5 packs of ham, I can eat 10 loafs of bread and not feel full. Literally all I do is play vidya, go online, jack off, eat food.
>>26350008
probably true, i heard ants are actually pretty healthy
>>
>>26350229
Do you get your mom's inheritance too? Damn it, this sounds too good to be true. I've always secretly wanted my mom to die so I could gain her money and live alone.
>>
>>26350227
I don't have this fetish, but I'm extremely curious. What is it about the houseflies that you like? How do you jack off without crushing the houseflies? Is there a puddle of cum with dead housefly bodies in it? Pls elaborate.
>>
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>>26350008
That was fucking hilarious
>>
>>26350275
my mom was in deep debt, she had a shopping addiction and would go to mcdonalds for every meal. life is pretty chill desu, but sometimes i feel depressed, im 27 and im still a virgin loner and never done anything in life. high school was the only time i had friends, i would go to their houses and play vidya, but then they went to college and became chads, and now they're married and have high positions in their workplace. i also wonder at night what sort of job will i get when the money runs out. i've never had a job and i dont want to get one. im thinking of probably scamming people or selling drugs on the deep web.
>>
>>26350395
don't worry yoour money will last the rest of your life :D
>>
>>26348255
Thats not that bad, I thought it was going to be urine
>>
>>26348769
Dirty ass fat faggot detected, how about you clean your fucking room and stop being a filthy slob
>>
>>26350305

>What is it about the houseflies that you like?
Their little feet tickle, and the humiliation of being stimulated by insects is hot.

>How do you jack off without crushing the houseflies?
I just let them do their thing, only have to touch myself at the end to push myself over.

>Is there a puddle of cum?
>female, famiglia
>>
Your dirty fuck, are you fat or just a pathetic NEET?
>>
>>26348769
>glacier freeze
mein neger
>>
>>26349529
>yuropoors live with refugees in their houses
>>
>>26351134
So..you let dirty houseflies crawl around on your cunt?
How? Why? What?
>>
>>26351911
No, they don't go there. Being on my skin pretty much anywhere works. They're really ticklish.
>>
>>26351978
Different anon,
That's pretty hot desu. How do you keep them on your skin?
Have you ever thought about letting one "go down there"?
>>
>>26348769
i cant believe you did that i am triggered on a whole new level holy shit fuck
>>
>>26352049
Guess it's storytime.

>Staffing a summer camp
>Just sitting and watching the little store while the kiddos are off doing activities
>There are one or two flies
>One lands on my arm, I can't be bothered to shoo it off
>it tickles
>it's the most entertaining thing I have, try to stay still so it doesn't leave
>being a summer camp, it's been close on two weeks since I masturbated, and it feels good
>association's a bitch
>>
>>26352209
Continued...

>from then on, don't shoo flies away, enjoy the tease
>at a different summer camp years later
>they have latrines, idgaf, it's supposed to be tough
>flies there aren't scared of people anymore
>they'll land and not leave
>I'm in the mood, go to the bathroom, they land on my thighs and face
>one is on my lips
>masturbate
>>
>>26352278
Last one and then I'll stop being degenerate

>On a mission trip to a hot poorfag country
>roommate moves out halfway through, I have the mud hut to myself
>an actual swarm of flies gathers in the warm spots every day
>lie in the spots and have my fun
>close the doors and lock them in so they have to follow me to my room and keep crawling on me till they die
>>
>>26348883
Kek sorry kek
>>
>>26350327
>Maisie gif
muh erection
>>
>>26352339
don't suppose you'd drop an email or some such, jesus christ
>>
>>26352339
>>26352278
>>26352209
Holy fuck my penis
>>
>>26352339
>>26352278
>>26352209
I find pleasure in degeneracy, simply because it's degenerate. It's more thrilling than plain old masturbation.
>>
>>26352339
you have to trick someone into walking in on you and show to them the glory of the fly lord
>>
>>26352209
>>26352278
>>26352339
I need more aaaaaaah
>>
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>>26352677
Agreed.

>>26352518
>>26352721
>>26352727
Damn it what do? /r9k/ ain't for porn.
>>
>>26352339
Please, more degeneracy. Please?
>>
>>26352906
post email if you would?
>>
>>26352906
This is 4chan, nobody gives a fuck about what you post. Porn is posted in this board literally every five minutes.
Now please you're leaving me blue balled here. I never thought I'd get this hard from just reading text.
>>
[email protected]

I have bf though.
no ERP.
no nothing.
>>
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>>26353139
>>26352946

>can see them "kiss" me for the salt on my skin
>have tried to get another on my lips but it doesn't happen
>they will not be controlled, they are in control of me
>they will tease me as they see fit, they are the most stupid, dirty animals but I still have to beg them

plz fellow degenerates finish your fap so I can go
>>
Would you consider vocarooing your story?
>>
>>26348255
damn that sucks dick

but gatorade left out gets gross and gives you throat issues if you dont drink it all after opening
>>
>>26353402

I sound like a ten-year-old.

That would just make it better for you fucks, wouldn't it. I'll do it.
>>
>>26353347
>>26351088
For you

original comment stop muting me hiro
>>
>>26350395
>i've never had a job and i dont want to get one. im thinking of probably scamming people or selling drugs on the deep web.

I hope its bowel cancer that kills you bro, nice and excruciating
>>
>>26353462
waiting with bated penis!
>>
>>26348769
why did you not see that progressing
>>
there is apparently a 1,000,000 / 1 ratio of ants to humans. Which is cool, I want my own personal army of a million ants.
>>
>>26353563
>>26353402
>>26353139

Just in case you aren't all samefag.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VUmd3Twa58
>>
>>26353680
Ohhhh mah gawd
Spaghetti is everywhere.
Literally.
Everywhere.
>>
>>26350395
With your diet you probably won't live long enough to run out of money.
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>>26348255
I would probably induce vomiting.

Then again I'm not retarded enough to leave a drink in the open without the cap on.
>>
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>>26353347

>they will not be controlled, they are in control of me
>>
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>>26348310
>>26348417
Ech ech eg-g-g-g-g-g-g-g
>>
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>>26348310
That's something new, hilarious
Antlerade lads
Thread replies: 83
Thread images: 15
Thread DB ID: 495366



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