>woke up at 15:40 pm
>punch the wall because my migraine is back
>stumble to my desk and slam some cold coffee from yesterday
>check my job applications, all of them declined
>lie in bed staring at the ceiling for an hour, fantasizing about blowing my brains out on the wall
>look out my window and realize I haven't gone outside my house for almost 4 months
>mom comes in and berates me before educating me for the millionth time on how much of a human failure I am and that I should get a job unless I want to be thrown out on the street
>keep bringing up the fact that i dropped out of high school twice just to make me feel like garbage
>just sitting here finishing the bottle of scotch from yesterday
Anyone else fucking tired of this shit? Jesus fucking christ, I'm starting to think that everyone who claims to be "happy" are just full of shit.
People are full of shit. That's how normal people get by. They tell themselves lies and Bullshit and create a delusion of an ideal life. I don't want what other people want. I just want a modest living with enough food to eat and clean water to drink. I don't want all the frivelous Bullshit the consumerist society has been brainwashed with desiring. I don't want to work, I just want to live. Every job I've ever had felt like it was sucking my soul from me. People lie to themselves to avoid the truth.
Most people aren't unemployed alcoholic losers with migraine issues. You'd be surprised how easy it is to feel happiness and contentedness when you don't have those sorts of issues.
>one of my favorite songs has lyrics where the premise is basically this post
i've found countless bands that make songs about this shit, this vapid media life, not obscure bands either.
i'm sorry, but when i'm relating to this stuff through music, i know i'm not alone and it is heavily reinforced in me.
how can people feel okay living a lie?
>l-leave muh hugbox!
Hahaha, no. No need to get butthurt just because I responded to OP's statement. If you need your hand held with proper polite responses then this is probably the wrong place for you.
>getting a job is impossible
OP said he hasn't left the house in 4 months, how the fuck do you expect to get a job like that?
>m-muh online resume
>I don't want to work, I just want to live
me too man, why do normies think it's perfectly okay to be a slave to a megacorporation for over half their lives while getting only 3-5 hours a night to enjoy being alive
they slave away until they're like 60 then they finally get their freedom for like 5-10 years before they rot in a casket for eternity
i just don't fucking get it
>Wake up at 2:50pm
>Spend an hour laying there staring at the ceiling imagining my death while gathering the energy just to get up
>Spend a further hour sitting in the bath staring into nothingness and thinking about shit
Deep down I don't think I want to die, but I just feel so tired of life now that I just want out of it.
Start looking into welfare programs. Anything that can get you assistance with rent or food, and also mental health care cause you really need treatment for your anxiety and depression. Obviously your cunt mother isn't helping but that's all the more reason to get as much help as you can.
Technically I was sick as I suffered from depression/anxiety and substance problems. But I hate that era of my life and would rather forget it. It sucks that it is following me around still.
I don't know why gaps would be a problem either but from what I can gather you have to be prepared to explain them in job interviews.