Hey bots, can we talk. All are welcome here in this thread.
I'm an 18 year old senior in high school and lately, my depression has come back. I want to kill myself. I have friends and they try to be nice to me and I shut them out. I can't handle people anymore, I want to either die or live in solitude.
I yelled at my girlfriend because she said something to me and I got mad, I can't even remember what it was. Her and I aren't together anymore, she tried to talk to me but I just stayed in bed and ignored her.
I just want to talk. I'm so tired of everything, I know life could be much worse, but I just hate myself.
My psychiatrist thinks I'm manic.
Hey, I don't know how to deal with this either.
I'm in school but I have no friends - no close friends, nobody talks to me to hang out with me or anything and I'm really a loner
I'm doing a bunch of shit for college but its fulfilmment is null - currently I feel no joy
All my studies are going to shit no matter how I try and I'm burning out
I want to kill myself and nothing is going my way, no social, no academic, no athletic since a meniscus tear ended my football, wrestling, and taekwondo career.
My future seems bleak
I hyperventilate at times and I feel short of breath and it gets hard to breathe.
hhmm lets see
>has someone who loves and cares for him
>has friends who care for him
>pushes them away to forcibly be sad
>whines about it
shut the fuck up and look at your blessings you fucking retard. at least you got a girk who gave a shit, even just got a girl wouldve been an achievement in and of itself. not only that but you have friends who also care, but you push them away like a fucking retard. if you were to kill yourself, youd only prove yourself right, a shitty fucking waste of space. so either kys or solve the problem like a functional fucking human being
at 18 your life is an open book. believe it or not, high school is not the best time of your life. make a plan for your future that you're excited about and get to work. also don't do anything stupid. it never hurts to see a therapist.
>Pretends he has problems
>Fuck off normies
It really impress me how every single r9k thread could turn into "OMG YOU ARE LESS DEPRESSED THAN ME" or "U GOT GF? SO WHY HERE? REEEEEEEE". I'ts not about which problems are bigger, problems are something subjective. If you don't have food you would blow dicks for it, if you are socially awkward getting a pussy will be the "biggest problem", but actually won't be for most people.
Cherish what you have. Your problems are just minor.
I think you should kill yourself because when you look at the numbers the only sensible conclusion is to ascribe a negative value to life. The alternative is living in a state of DNA addled delusion
Anon, no issue is as insurmountable as it may seem on the surface. From what you are telling us, you seem to be burned out in respect to people. This is more common than you think. Like with everything from food to music, a person can reach times when, if they are introverted or not particularly fond of constant socialization, they do not want to acknowledge or grow their social group. You'll go back to behaving normally soon enough. However, you have to give yourself time to work through your current emotions. Relax, treat yourself kindly, prioritize what your needs and wants - before you know it, you'll be out of this mess. Everyone needs time to be depressed from time to time, and so do you.
Do yourself a favor. wait until highschool is over. Trust me when i say that after highschool things are much better. They may still be horrible but at least you are not constantly surrounded by cunts
Same anon who just posted that wall of text here. I just wanted to add that you should go on Youtube and binge-watch schmoyoho's songified Donald Trump speech. It always cheers me up. Lastly, if you have netflix, try watching a drama or something somber - it will help ease or put into perspective your emotional state.
I cant tell you how to make it better, though I can tell you how to change your perspective and break you down.
This sounds stupid, but go download Katawa Shoujo. Its free off of their website, get off the meds and play it through till the end of one route, today.
If that doesnt utterly break you, try Grisaia no Kajitsu.
Ive found that for you to change who you are, you have to have a reason to. Hopefully these games can do for you what they did for me
Might as well.
>Start high school
>over the course of six years almost all of your friends stab you in the back or effectively cast you aside.
>People you don't even know treat you like shit because of rumors, half of which you supposedly started.
>tfw someone literally pretended to be you for years and got away with it.
>years later everyone treats you like you don't exist, when they even acknowledge you they act as though nothing happened, as though you're on good terms, etc.
>as a result you can't trust people or form any kind of lasting friendship, let alone talk to people.
>experience has shown that by and large, people are incapable of proper understanding or empathy, and will act on literally fucking nothing.
>can't even bring myself to go outside most days out of a fear that everyone's out to get me.
>have to explain to a psychiatrist that people are monsters.
I just want the ride to be over.
Ride it through. Focus on yourself. You'll either come out better or be like the rest of the people here. Either way, I'd suggest staying off of the board for a little while. This place is toxic.