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Avoidant personality disorder

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Thread replies: 123
Thread images: 33

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Holy shit. Am I going to be friendless for the rest of my life?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVv1Su8oqvc
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>>26332581
you are more than a disorder anon

you are a complex set of experiences and interpretations, you are not bound by arbitrary categorical systems with little biological basis
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Maybe
A: Grow a pair of balls and tolerate the difficulty of adjusting. Like getting into a pool which is shockingly cold at first but feels warm after a couple minutes or taking a vaccine needle
B:Continue avoiding to address your unreasonable fear of people and forever live in a prison of your own design
People aren't complex at all, a bit of self awareness is enough to make them either tolerate or like you
>>
>>26332661
>>26332688
My problems run a little deeper than AvPD.
It's always relevant though.
>>
Don't let a disorder define you. Do something about it. It's hard. It's really really hard. But it's just a negative behavioral pattern. You can break it. It's a slow, slow, slow process. You'll get frustrated and fed-up and want to revert back and hide and give up. Don't be afraid to ask others for help.

It's hard but it's our cross to bear.
>>
>>26332581
It can be done anon. You just need t find the right people. I was lucky enough to meet those people early in my life.
Do you have any other disorders?

>tfw avoidant, paranoid and dependent
Can it get any worse?
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>>26332845
>Can it get any worse?
borderline
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>>26332749
alright
what troubles you anon?
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>>26332874
It can always get worse I guess, you're right.
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>>26332661
Does this apply to aspies too? Not sure if I should throw in the towel yet or if it's something I canlive with
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>>26332927
of course

these disorders aren't so clearly defined, and they always exist on a spectrum.
the biological basis for these phenomena isn't fully known, all that is known is that there are certain traits that tend to be associated with eachother, and we call these sets of traits a disorder and than conduct experiments based on the hypothesis that there exists a singular cause for such behavior, when that is rarely the case.

you and your experiences are completely unique, everything down to your brains physiology and chemistry is one of a kind, and highly malleable.
you can change, but first you must recognize the possibility of change
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>Those with this disorder may often choose jobs of isolation so that they do not have to interact with the public regularly, due to their anxiety and fear of embarrassing themselves in front of others.
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Is this the newest meme disorder?
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>Some afflicted by this disorder may fantasize about idealized, accepting, and affectionate relationships, due to their desire to belong.
>>
Just a little reminder guys - Do not respond to frogposters.
If we pretend Reddit doesn't exist, maybe one day it will just disappear.
>>
Having social anxiety disorder and this at the same time has completely ruined my life. No friends, no girlfriend or any social circle whatsoever, which has lead me to depression. I don't know what to do, I'm fucked.
Have noone i can talk to about this, feeling half comfortable. Only person I talk to is mom and she doesn't take me seriously.
I WANT TO BELONG
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>>26333066
you were reading that wiki article too?

I was going off on a whole lot and anhedonia
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>>26333303
Do you enjoy the company of normal people though?
Would you be friends with a typical normalfag that plays LoL and uses Instagram?
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Anyone else here an ex-robot who just want to help other robots out?
It really pains me that i can't help you all that need a hand in fixing your life, I understand the bullshit that fucked you over unlike people who've never been in a situation like that. People that don't understand how circular thought patterning is fucking ridiculously hard to break, people that don't understand that circumstances often lead to character scarring. Best i can do is post occasionally and continue supporting those i already am
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>>26333280
You responded to me though. Besides, it's true. People will find any crutch to avoid taking blame for their poor choices in life.
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>>26333447
What the fuck is an 'ex-robot'?
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>>26333447
please be my girlfriend and help me
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>>26333447
The reason robots exist is because they are incompatible with mainstream society and popular culture.
People usually end up on imageboards because they don't like normal websites or opinions.
This whole place is built around being contrarian and 'edgy'.

To be an ex-robot, you would've had to go through some very drastic (and unwanted) changes in how you view the world and everyone in it.
Almost like being brainwashed.
>>
>>26333765
sounds like a killer movie plot.
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>>26333805
Well it's similar to the plot of 1984.
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>>26333861
It's similar to the plot of a shit ton of movies, more than I'm able to count.
of all the ones to say it's similar to, 1984? Really?
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>>26333901
I don't watch many movies.
Broken attention span.
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>>26333955
I don't either. I don't watch much TV either.
Probably why I'm here, huh?
>>
>>26333365
I can't be around people that despise me for what I am.
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>>26333993
If the people you're commonly around despise you for who you are then they're probably faggots you want to avoid.
If they can't accept a guy like you, they're probably just as bad if not worse than you on the inside.
Using this attitude and thinking everyone will be the same is retarded, so please go out and find some decent friends.
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>>26334038
>please go out and find some decent friends
It's so hard though. I'm scared of other people. I'm scared of rejection, embarrassment, abandonment. I feel like any friend I have isn't going to like me as much as I like them.
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>>26334095
>I'm scared of rejection, embarrassment, abandonment
Me too. In that case, lay down and cry?
I don't know. It's hard, you kinda just have to hope, or give up.
I probably shouldn't be giving advice, I think I'm probably the worst out of everyone here, I literally have never had an irl friend. Guessing steam friends don't count.
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>>26334095
You're not me. >>26333993

Original comment..
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>mfw Avoidants

Literally the betas to us alpha Schizoids. Still miles better than normies, however.
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>>26334095
What you need is safe, nonjudgmental male friends. I don't know where I'd be without my best friend from high school (another autist) and my little brother.
>>
I am under the impression that what that article describes is probably more extreme than the actual wording implies.
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>>26332581
Anyone with this enjoy night walking?
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>>26332661
>>26332688
>>26332780
>har har just pick yourself up, anyone can do it!
how to spot someone who has never been depressed: lesson 1
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>>26334256
You're probably the same type of person that posts "therapy is a meme".

>It's a slow, slow, slow process. You'll get frustrated and fed-up and want to revert back and hide and give up. Don't be afraid to ask others for help.
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What job can a robot with avoidant personality disorder get?
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>>26334217
All I do at night is play osu! and csgo
I literally don't want to go outside at all.
My town is pretty bad for walks anyway, not much to see at all, and I don't really care for thinking about my life.
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>>26334217
Obviously senpai. Someone else pointed out something that I agree with, its nice walking in deserted public places because it feels like this area that was built for loads of people belongs to just you.
Haven't actually been diagnosed with avoidant actually, I should see a doctor lel.

Night walks are best in the rain desu.
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>>26334293
not a meme, just not for me
ive accepted that im worthless and am just hoping to die soon
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>>26334319
>Night walks are best in the rain desu.
It rarely rains where I live, and when it does, it's either a drizzle, or a downpour. It sucks.
send help, I don't want to live in the south any more.
>>
>tfw fit AvPD to the T, literally have every single thing it mentions
>tfw too AvPD to actually seek help
vicious cycle
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>>26334345
>ive accepted that im worthless and am just hoping to die soon
That's so sad. Imagine the great things you could accomplish if you just believed your life was worth fighting for.
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>>26334402
with what skills
with what enthusiasm
if it must be fought for, what does that say about any reason for it to exist?
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>>26334402
L O L
O
L

desu you have no idea what you are talking about
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Not avoidant, but my Schizotypal Personality Disorder has given me crazy social anxiety because I just relate so poorly to people. I don't really want to interact that much with people anyway, but I still get lonely. Plus, of course, the occasional hallucination.
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>>26334477
I don't know. I don't have any answers. I guess I just try to see potential in everyone. I think about all the people out here who just want someone who understands what they're going through, or to just be a friend to them. People that you could reach out to, or latent affinities that you haven't even thought of yet, but perhaps some people are just broken, like that penguin who ran off into the mountains. No matter how they tried to turn that penguin back to its flock, something inside it was broken and there was nothing they could do to save it.
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>>26332581
no, there is always someone out there willing to put up with people like you, my recommendation is, once you find it, don't let it go.
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>>26334345
This is retarded and I mean that in the best way possible.
One day, you'll realize how stupid this, and you'll finally understand.
Saying you're worthless and all this bullshit is dumb. I've been depressed before, I've done this, and it's just ridiculous. If you feel bad, you're going to actively try to make things seem worse so you have something to be upset about. I have no tips for not being depressed, and I'm not saying to keep this to yourself, but seriously, one day you'll realize life is not as bad as you think it is.
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>>26334477
wew lad yes goyim laddy JUST give up just like that......you know that is what "they" want you to do and think

prove me wrong..(pro tip) > you can't.
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>>26334477
>>26334499
>>26334544
>>26334555
This is unexpected.
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>>26334599
nice dubs stalin.
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>>26334599
>stalincheckingdubs2.jpg
>99
n1
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>>26334599
>>26334622
>>26334633
THESE ARE SOME UNPRECEDENTED DIGITS
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>>26333447
Hell i dont even understand the circumstances that led to my character scarring.
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>>26334643
Way to go, fuckup.
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>>26334643
>43
YOU RUINED IT.
HOW COULD YOU
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who /actually diagnosed and not just self-diagnosed/ here?
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>>26334699
I am. I am the Schizotypal/Stalin guy. Was diagnosed last year.
>>
tfw so many missed opportunities in ur life bc of this
and no, i dont have the disorder, but it describes me well
and i piss myself off for being like this and fucking my own life up and being so distant in relationships with anyone that i end up in
i cant go deep in any relationship with anyone ever bc i wont allow myself to out of fear
ive never even been rejected before, bc ive never tried to be in a relationship
so idk what caused this other than the way i think, but what caused that?
and im tired of disappointing those rare few who want to get close to me, of whom i also like a lot, but im too afraid to go through with it
tfw you've avoided your entire life and you feel like a ghost because of it.
tfw you're still doing it every day.
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>>26334256

>I'm a lazy asshole so I'll just self categorize myself as conveniently as possible to gain pity and acceptance
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>>26335225
>I have no understanding of mental illness, so I downplay it to make myself seem more alpha on the internet
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>>26334555
appreciated
but as for me, that friend you're describing is death
i dont want to become happy, i want to not think any more
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>>26335384
you should try and change the way you think then
i need to as well
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>>26335467
>you should try and change the way you think then
>change the way you think
Are all normalfags this stupid?
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>>26335718
to be fair, he did say "try".
He never said it was possible.
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My only friend is a cat. I've tried adding a few people from here on skype, but they'll only ever talk to me if I'm the one that makes the effort of having a conversation with them, which stresses me out. They never message me first, probably because they already have their own clique of online friends that are far more interesting than I am. A couple of them removed me already because I gave up trying to talk to them. I can't even make friends online, let alone in real life.

I think about killing myself every day, to be honest.
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>>26335718
i'm not a normie, just a hopeless loser who thinks changing the way i think is my only hope
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>>26335776
You don't have to be a normalfaggot to have baught into their cancerous idiocy.
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>>26335748
We could try being friends then. I also have a cat.
No idea what we would talk about though.
The only thing I'm interested in right now is DDDA and Toradora.
I honestly don't even like DDDA though.
This probably isn't going to work out haha I'm not very good company.
Good luck in your search anon.

>>26335776
Do you want to be a norman?
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>>26334295
Burger flipper.

Floor sweeper.
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>>26332661
>>26332688
>>26332780
>>26334038

>juz get ova it Anon so ez XD
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>>26335813
thanks
>>26335824
no, but thinking everything will end in shit and never trying is something i want to stop believing so intently
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>>26335748
what's that pic from?
and my cat is why im still here desu
we can talk if you want, even if it ends up to be not very long like most times, it's worth a shot
>>
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>>26335894
Only normalfags can be happy though.
We must suffer if we are not like them.
>>
>>26334256
Here, let me fast forward to the last lesson you whiney cunt.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

There's also the possibility that he was depressed, even worse than you, but made positive changes and is now doing better.

Oh, wait, no, that's not a possibility. If he reforms it means yours was worse and you win, right? That's all this bullshit is, for the most part, it's 'I have it worse than you woe is me don't try help because you couldn't possibly begin to understand'.
>>
>>26335877
If a bookie approached you with an apex predator from the heart of Africa who hasn't eaten since getting on the plane, and he said 'how much you wanna bet this motivates his whiny ass into getting out of bed?' Would you be like 'haha, what do you take me for, a fool? I understand mental states merely are physical states of the brain, so clearly if he's mentally unable to get out of bed he's physically unable as well. Try your hustle on someone else, friendo.'

Honestly, would you?
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>>26335942
>what's that pic from?

I don't know, I saved it over 6 months ago. I'd like to read whatever book it's from as well. My skype is zonata145 if you want to talk about something.

>>26335824
I don't know what those are, but you can add me as well if you'd like. I've just been playing Darkest Dungeon lately.
>>
can anyone explain >>26336165 to me
what did he mean by this
>>
>desire to write a meaningful post
>can't because you realize your post is too much time and effort to give to others
>you stay and read others posts though
>>
>>26335824
i like toradora, wats ur skype m8
>>
>>26336349
is that bartleby the scrivener?
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>>26336389
Alright, fair enough.

So the comic is basically comparing depression to being physically mutilated. That is bullshit.

Independent of any argument about whether brain rules mind or mind rules brain one thing we KNOW is that our minds are reactive.

This is what causes the debate about free will: We understand the truth of determinism while simultaneously understanding our ability to defy any soothsayer or prophet if we so choose.

The fact that our minds are reactive is the biggest problem with psychology, and why first post is best post (>>26332661). If a psychologist backs up a hypothesis 'the best treatment for <x> is weekly blowjobs' is it really going to be mysterious to anyone when, all of a sudden, the rates of <x> among males rapidly increases?

I'm not saying depressed people don't get my sympathy, hell, even empathy. Really, I have sympathy for anything that exists which is capable of analyzing existence. All I'm saying is that what's happening in the last frame of that comic is a game is being played, whether they are aware of it or not.

>I can't that's what I'm saying--

Really? There's nothing in the world that could motivate you to get out of fucking bed? Prove it: Here's a hungry pride leader.
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>>26336640
>is that bartleby the scrivener?

something like that, I like that quote by him a lot
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>>26336772
its a sad story.. one of my favorites
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>>26336696
>mental pain doesn't exist

Wew lad
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>>26336696
OP here. I never claimed to have depression.
You don't know anything about me. Fuck off retard.
>>
>>26337078
[citation needed]

Here's your (You) anyway.
>>
>>26337103
Do you people know how to fucking read? I'm not accusing anyone of having depression.
>>
>>26337116
>WHY are autistic people acting weird? Just be normal

>Why do people with Alzhemiers keep forgetting stuff? You're so lazy and forgetful. Take responsibility

>just calm down. You don't have big polar disorder. Just be cool

The comic was talking to people like YOU.
YOU don't understand what they're fucking through. Just project and have no further knowledge on what depression or mental illness is.
>>
>>26334477
>if it must be fought for, what does that say about any reason for it to exist?
If it is fought for, it has value. If you don't fight for anything, your life has no value.
>>
>>26335877
>Have mangled hand
>Do nothing about it
>Don't get it wrapped
>Don't get painkillers
>Don't even put it in a bucket of ice water
>Have depression
>Do nothing about it
>Don't get out of bed
>Don't even go for a twenty minute walk

Perfect analogy imho.

>>26337231
The comic definitely wasn't talking about people informed about psychology right down to the philosophical problems of psychology. I daresay you're talking to a Phd there, champ.

Also, the premise of the comic is that people think their advice is valuable when they're not actually helping at all, this, all in defense of someone who is depressed and so is less capable of helping anyone.

So, what, every single person needs to learn all about your mental illness, your trigger words, how to help you, what not to say, et cetera but because you're 'depressed' you have absolutely no obligation to help them in return because since you have depression you're allowed to be unmotivated?

Instead of just raging, and continuing to misconstrue arguments, why don't you just address this:
>>26336165
Do you take the bet? Do you bet a fucking hungry, wild, lion in his bedroom is enough motivation to get him out of bed?

Or do you stand by your guns and say:
>I can't
>>
>>26337390
Depressed people DO need help. It's not that they're saying they incapable, but the mental damage is real. Don't give me that "hurr ur just want attention and safe space " bullshit. You don't have anything to prove mental illness isn't real. You're confusing depression with laziness.
>>
>>26337527
>need help
>you CAN'T be depressed about life!!one!
>life is a gift!
>>
>>26337231
>big polar disorder
Very similar to hypothermia I believe.
>>
>>26337592
>life is a gift!

Tell thst to a kid in the 3rd world countries
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>>26336551
I know that feeling all too well famiglia.
>>
>>26337390
Not him, but I'll bite. Sure, a lion would get all but the most severely depressed people out of bed, but what's your point exactly? If someone needs a lion as an alarm clock, that guy has some legitimate mental problems, and he would likely just return to his routine sluggishness after the threat disappears, since that's the only option his illness avails him to. And the fact that your example response is to essentially prod a depressed person toward action instead of providing compassion and support that would enable long-term independence says a lot about why depressives still have such a hard time going abou their lives (i.e. other people can't help but give them shit for being miserable, which makes them more miserable and continues the cycle).

tldr: stop being mean and dismissive and shit (pls)
>>
>>26332581
You know, those personality traits can only be considered a disorder if they cause significant stress in your day to day life. You can embrace them and succeed in spite of them.

Also lbr, a lot of this is basically just "introversion" in general.
>>
>>26337527
>depressed people do need help

Obviously. So do people with Munchausen Syndrome. Everyone needs help, that's my point.

That last frame of the comic, though? That's not indicative of depression, it's indicative of Munchausen syndrome.

>You don't have anything to prove mental illness isn't real.

I don't have anything to 'prove' evil spirits don't posses people. I didn't become an exorcist though because I called tails and it landed on heads. I'm sure I would've been able to do just as much help, with less student debt.
>>
>>26337687
He probably only cares about normans that have depression or mental health issues.
>>
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>Work retail
>Handle customers well because I can just go by the script and imagine I'm somewhere else
>Unfortunately have to be with the same coworkers 40 hours a week
>We ran out of shit to say to each other years ago
>Sometimes hear them lamenting my presence and regretting that the guy I replaced isn't there to joke around with them anymore
>That job is my only social interaction and for 40 hours a week for 6 years I've only known contempt from other people
>>
>>26337749
but doctors will tell you mental illness is real

You obviously never taken any classes of the science about the human mind and western philosophy
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>>26335748
>That pic
Hold me Anon... I've been feeling like I'm watching myself fail in third person every step of the way.

People keep telling me I have the deadest eyes they've ever seen and it makes me want to crawl into a hole.
>>26335838
>Burger flipper
>Trapped in a small sweaty room between 2 chuckling hoodrat teenagers while an obese middle-aged white woman yells at you to work harder because she's too scared to make the other 2 pull their weight
Just be an overnight grocery stocker at Walmart. You get your own aisle all to yourself and nobody fucks with you.
>>
>>26337687
I'm not being dismissive. But you have no idea what you're talking about.

> instead of providing compassion and support that would enable long-term independence
>support that would enable long-term independence
>"the cure for learned helplessness is to teach it more"

I won't bother linking to the Drama triangle again, if people can't be bothered reading my posts all the way through I surely would have a helluva lot less luck using wikipedia.

The point is there are three, very dysfunctional, roles that people tend to take in relationships: Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim.

Not only that, but we're all capable of switching between roles, and even not requiring another participant

IE: A thought dialogue

Victim: I have family downstairs, food in a fridge and an internet connection but I'll never be happy unless a girl touches my genitals.

Persecutor: Yeah, like that'll happen. You're too ugly man it's out of the cards. You should just kill yourself.

Rescuer: Daaaaaw! NAAAAAAW!!!!!!!! IS AWRIGHT BUDDEH! You know, girls like that? They tend to be miserable anyway. I know this because I'm actually a body-snatcher currently taking you over.

This does not lead to results, but people like you seem to think so. The BIGGEST problem with ignorance about mental health is that, generally, members of the public will draw false conclusions based on poorly explained premises.

"Dude, he's got depression you know? He can't really help it."

"Oh. Wow. I didn't realise. Do you think it would help if I put my fist up his arse and gave him an amazing prostate orgasm?"

"...Couldn't hurt."

Say he enjoys that fisting, and he wants it to happen again. Based on what he's learned so far, does he act more or less depressed to persuade his friends to fist him?

>>26338287
Exorcists will tell you evil spirits are real.

You have obviously never taken any classes on the practical implications of Cartesian dualism, the human mind and basic syntax.
>>
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>>26338189
This is exactly what my future is when I'm done with TAFE.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just kill myself right now.
>>
>play mmos because you can't talk to people in real life
>230 days of time played on one of your characters
>no guild
>0 friends
>decline all party invites unless you need a group quest or raid (unsoloable)
There truly is no escape, is there?
>>
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>>26338189
that's the fear

>>26332581
I cope by telling myself if I build myself up with enough things/achievements, I won't feel that inadequate or anxious. It's slow, I don't know if it'll work, I'm probably going to be alone but it's something to work at.
>>
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>>26338417
Obsidian should be releasing a new Fallout with the current iteration of Gamebryo

You probably haven't worked out yet, just to investigate it as an avenue to finding worth externally and otherwise.
>>
>>26338509
>obsidian fallout
>after the fiasco that is 4

yeah anon

and one day I'm gonna find a girl, it's gonna be warm and sunny, we're going to go places, love each other, have kids, I'm going to have friends everywhere to call on and they'll call on me, and everything will be just fine
>>
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>>26338592
Why are you responding for me?
Fuck you.
>>
>>26338592
>15 million copies
>fiasco
Also you never know if you'll find a girl if you don't work out. Personality is really just what people think you're like based on your appearance, which is why nobody takes a fat-ass/skeleton seriously when he tries to act alpha.
>>
>>26338386
By support, I don't mean coddling. Think "teaching a man how to fish" more than catching it for him kinda deal. You can help a guy up without establishing a co-dependent relationship. The exact opposite of teaching learned helplessness.
>>
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>>26338656
>Personality is really just what people think you're like based on your appearance
ok
>>
>>26338803
>Implying Chris Hemsworth couldn't act like a fedora and people would buy it because he looks like a badass

Hell, Clint Eastwood was basically a fedora for the entirety of the Man with No Name trilogy and women wanted to fuck him, men wanted to be him.
>>
>>26338189
I quit my last job and one of my coworkers there told me someone else said "It's good he left. Looked like he was gonna have a bomb on him one day"
>>
>>26334699
>actually diagnosed
How can you be a true avoidant if you didn't avoid seeing a doctor hmm?
>>
>>26332688
>says the guy on r9k

stop preaching when you have no experience of what you are talking about
>>
>>26341336
i see posts like this and have to wonder if its bait. Are you really so slow to think that ALL of the people who go on r9k are overweight, sitting in their mother's basements and hoard piss bottles? By now, there are more normalfags here than manchildren.
>>
>>26341397
So there life is so great they come HERE for entertainment? I don't think so. I don't want advice from people who have not overcome anything like I have to overcome. It gets us no where.
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