>>26331954 >What prompted this OP? Someone posted on /soc/ in an ideal mate thread that her hypothetical ideal mate should be open to going to a therapist if needed. I thought that was really fucking stupid. If people truly love each other, they will put their love first and have no need for a counselor. If not, then they should just end the relationship.
>>26331924 God damn I hope I'm grown up enough to not fight with my wife when I'm an adult. I understand this is alot coming from a manchild, but I just can't see myself fighting with my wife. I mean, holy shit what a fucking waste of time and energy.
I've had so many petty, utterly fruitless fights with parents.
That's because the woman WANTS to fight, if everything is going smoothly she'll find something petty to complain about and make a bigger deal out of.
She wants the EMOTIONS involved, where you're stuck trying to sort it out logically, to your own stressful demise. Their is a sexual element too, she's basically saying "Here's a bunch of bullshit I don't want you to put up with, get angry and then put me in my place, bent over the bed, later!" Instead of just saying she wants to get fucked rougher, she tries to piss them off first.
>>26331985 That's a little idealistic, anon. Sometimes people need help working their issues out, and clearly she's not the type to just quit and move on to the next dick/pussy when the going gets tough.
>>26332101 It's not the she wants to fights; a woman who seeks out arguments does so because she either A. Wants attention or B. Is perpetually unsatisfied because she's unhappy with herself (usually it's both).
I've always thought of this type of shit as a scam. if you really need to go to a fucking marriage counselor your marriage was over before you stepped in the door, and the counselor is just profiting off your eventual demise.
>>26332193 She wants fights. There's really no rhyme or reason to it. She's pissed off and needs a fucking punching bag, so she'll do as little as she can to get a reaction and then drag the fight out of you. Sometimes it's riding you since you came home from work about something that can absolutely wait until you're good and ready to take care of it, others it will be a thinly veiled low-blow out of fucking nowhere.
There is no winning that fight. At all. Ever. You can refuse to play, but it will just be pickpickpickpickpickpick until you finally do snap at her for being an irritated cunt for 3 days straight. The only thing you have a choice in is when that fight happens. If you wait too long, it will last too long. I usually just wait until I have nothing better to do that day (not likely) and start by asking her why she's picking fights with me again, about as rudely as I can muster without being outright insulting. Gets it over with quickly and we can move on with our lives.
Women are crazy and unable to fit into a social structure where someone leads and the others follow. It's fucking alien to them. They want to be in control, but don't want to make decisions that may upset you, so they abstain from making decisions to keep you happy, then start a fight about it later.
>>26332225 Therapy can work because one person can eventually come to an agreement with themselves. Marriage counseling is just mediation, which is the same term that the courts use for coming to terms in a divorce without having to get a ruling from a judge. You're never going to get both parties to change enough to please their partner. They're both just going to change enough to hate what they've had to become to please this person they now resent for bringing them there.
>>26332834 The family is already broken. Keeping a broken home where both parents resent each other, and possibly the kid, isn't any better than getting a divorce, especially if the parents are cold and sexless (one of them won't be, for sure). Financial support can be determined in the court, or during mediation. Custody and visitation rights also will be determined there.
As a kid, waking up to parents screaming at each other about who spent the money on which drugs (be it coffee, gambling, or cocaine) isn't going to be solved by a marriage counselor and they REALLY should just fucking kill eac-err get divorced so their son can have some peace and quiet and sleep long enough to stay awake in classes so he doesn't fail.
Don't like it? Should have thought more about choosing your partner, partner. I sure as hell didn't choose my parents, so why the fuck did I have to suffer their incessant rows over something easily solved? Marriage counseling only works for people that never had a problem to begin with.
Yeah that's what I figured happens with "lover's spats" their is even a fucking name for this shit.
I've never been in a relationship but I've watched so many of them, usually after drinking at a bar with friends and going back to their place. They try to drag me into too and last time I was like.
>Why don't you too just admit this is a lover's spat, you're fighting because you want to fight and it will probably end up in sex later tonight and this is part of the pre-game sex ritual or some shit.
They started laughing nervously and the fight magically disappeared.
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