Late Night Feels

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I feel this every night.

All I know is we're all gonna make it somday.

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>>26330479
I feel you fellow robot
I'm having the exact same feel at the moment

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>finally getting motivated and improving myself as well
>get invited out to the bars with some fellow students
>all of them are motivated, in-shape, intelligent physics/engineering majors
>I begin to feel accepted, like my life is on the right track
>they start talking about future life goals
>they want to have good careers and have money/women
>I want to leave earth because it is shitty
>they call me a crank
>"as opposed to someone whose highest goal is to achieve a high-dollar salary?"
>they tell me I need to bring them proof of these theories
>the theories I've talked about are modern quantum gravity theories
>none of them HAVE proof
>"I plan to prove them, atm there's no way for me to do so"
>they tell me I'm a crank until I can prove them
>they want me to do something literally nobody on the planet can do
>all because my goals are higher than theirs
josidjfiosjdfsdf
>they want to stay out later
>I have to go home and take seizure meds
>the main instigator says "seriously anon?"
>"yeah, it's either that or I have a seizure on you, end up in the ER, and forget the past two weeks"
>"oh come on"
>I call my mom, ask her for a ride
>"so how are you getting home, anon?"
>"my mom's on her way"
>"HAHAHAHA YOUR MOM?" -everyone there
>"yeah, I live with my mom, and can't drive, because I have epilepsy."
>"get your shit together, man" -main instigator asshat
>"yeah whatever"
>they go off to more bars, I start walking to where I'm meeting my mom to be picked up
>she picks me up, I get home, go to bed
>wake up at ~6am
>hangover
>can't get back to sleep
>simple partial seizure starts; reality becomes intense, I can only think about how I do need to get my shit together
>no, that guy's a dickbag, I don't need to prove anything to him
>but it would be nice to achieve things in life
>well you don't have to do it because of him, he doesn't know shit about your life
>he can't begin to grasp these concepts
>seizure continues, at ~3 minutes now
>cont

>lay in bed
>imagine being next to a girl
>smell her hair
>i bet girl hair smells like garnier fructis or some shit
>cant sleep for hours because of chest pains
>suicide is selfish lol

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>>26330975

>pull out phone, seizure stops almost immediately
>thank fucking god, 5 minutes is long-term dangerous
>go back to sleep, wake up at ~10:30
>raging headache
>body is sore
>memory of the past two weeks is fuzzy (it's a regular morning thing for me to check)
>fuck, obviously had a grand mal after that little simple partial
>essay due in three days
>homework due in four, five, and six days
>need to read five chapters
>now I need to refresh myself on six other chapters
>can't remember how to write my essay
>going into school next I will be confronted by these guys
>none of the above is an excuse to them because they have been healthy their whole lives
>they hang out with the department heads
>I just lost tons of recommendations and respect
>probably going to just change my major
>these stupid engineers/physicists can't help me anyways, I need chemists
>chemistry department is all cool people who like me
>feeling of peace comes over me realizing this

this turned into quite the rant. Just wanted to say, OP, yeah, I know what it's like to be alone. I just had a brief moment of social acceptance, only to realize it was with all the wrong people. Still have to find that right crew but...yeah. I hope you do too.

>>26330975
Why the hell wouldn't you just carry your pills around with you? You're an adult, you're allowed to carry drugs which were legally prescribed to you.

>>26331199
*shrug* used them up the last time I was out. Not my fault they want to judge me

>be cruel to every potential gf I meet
>cry on the internet's misogyny bbs about how lonely I am

kek'd and cheq'd

I was holding a gun to my head, finger on the trigger, when I thought of browsing /r9k/ one last time before I left this cruel world.

This is the first thread on the page. I read the entire thread, tears streaming down my face in pure joy. I've been saved.

>>26332088

Kill yourself faggot

senpai

>>26332088

sell me your gun

>Had a qt nympho gf
>Became depressed
>Broke up because I thought she made me unhappy
>Depressed and lonely and jealous

inb4 get out normie fuck off cunt

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Is there even any point in being in a relationship with someone if you don't want kids and think there is no reason for two people to get married?

I just got done browsing r/relationships and I feel utterly broken.

I figured there would be much more women who were against having children.

Is there something wrong with me? Why do so many people want kids? I'm not trying to sound edgy, but look around. It's not going to get better.

>>26332293
>me 6 years ago
She went off and fucked all of my friends...literally. Told me she was gonna do it, then went and did it.

>>26332358

>faps to creampies
>doesn't want kids

>3rd week at gym
>already feel better, more active
>sleep schedule is almost fixed
>get home from class
>browse 4chin
>"i'll just browse until im sleepy"
>stay up until 4am
>sleep schedule is fucked again
>wake up late
>have to read for class
>"i'll go to the gym after class"
>get home
>sit down
>fall asleep
>wake up, gym's about to close
>realize i haven't had fun in all day
>browse 4chin
>4am again

>>26332410
What? I don't fap to creampies. I haven't even fapped to porn in like 3 weeks. Quitting it all together...well until I realized I'll probably going to be alone for the rest of my life.

>>26332358
they are out there, but it is generally only amongst those women who have huge career goals. That is, smart, successful, dedicated, strong women.

I know a few, but they are the 4.0+ GPA science majors who require serious effort to get to know.

you better believe i know those feels bro.

>in past year i've quit drugs, lost 100lbs, went back to school, got a job, got my own apt, starting dressing better, better personal hygiene, piano lessons, etc. etc. etc.
>basically went from a junkie to a productive member of society in 12 months after 10 years doing drugs alone in my room, getting fat, and not talking to anyone
>decide it's time to maybe start putting myself out there because despite all the improvements i've made i'm still lonely as fuck
>31 years old and i've never had a gf so i figure if i don't get one soon it'll probably be too late
>apparently it already is too late
>spend a long time trying to take flattering photos of myself even though i'm not really photogenic
>set up okcupid and tinder profiles
>start swiping right on every girl i consider to be a 5/10 or above and messaging lots of girls on okcupid
>took a lot of time filling out my profile so it showed my diverse interests and talents but was honest about my past as well in the okcupid profile
>it's been nearly a month and i've gotten literally 12 tinder matches despite swiping right hundreds of times (at least 5 of them are bots i think)
>one of the only okcupid girls that even messaged me back only messaged me to yell at me for messaging her late at night and waking her up
>too shy to talk to girls in real life, and when i actually do work up the balls to talk to girls in my classes or in public it's usually obvious to me within 30 seconds they have no interest in talking to me

what the fuck...i fucking worked my ass off to improve every area of my life and it appears it's all for naught. that's why i find myself on this place even though it's just a cesspool of negativity and misogyny. i can't help but start to hate women for treating me like this. i'm not fucking brad pitt but i'm not quasimodo either. i have a decent job, a car, my own apartment, i'm not fat anymore, i'm 6'3. it's fucking depressing as all hell.

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>>26332088
OP here.

That was kind of melodramatic of you but if you were serious I'm glad you decided to stay in this world anon.

>13 weeks ago, start lifting
>9 weeks ago, dump gf because she is a miserable person and was making me miserable in return. And also, not having sex for 6 months.
>5 weeks ago, start trolling tinder for ladies because I want to feel attractive again.
>Last night, I go out with one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen.
>Date goes ok
>In her car, go in for hail mary kiss
>actually happens.
>we start making out.
>She wants to smash
>ohshit.jpg
>dick decides not to work.
>life is suffering.

Kill me now senpai.

>>26332708

honestly signing up for tinder was probably the worst thing i could have done. i heard some of my normie friends tell me how easy it was to meet girls on there and that since i was kinda shy i should definitely set up a profile.

fuck that.

all it did was confirm the fact that women are incredibly fucking shallow and that since i'm not a 7/10 or above i don't deserve love or affection and certainly not a gf. it just hit me like a fucking brick after i spent all that time and effort improving myself only to find out i was probably never going to be good enough for them.

>>26332367
True to her word, good woman.

>>26331943
You're the type of guy who announces his shrugs online, I promise you were the faggot that night, not those ebil noormans x-DDdd

>>26331943
good on you man, those guys sound like reddit using cucks

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>>26332555
Don't fall for this meme

Your dick will literally break and you will never have a hard dick again

Unless you don't care

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>>26332617
FUCK and I'm guessing the next best thing would be to get with a woman who already has a kid.

SHIT!!

>>26334301
You never want a single mom.

Do NOT fall for that shit.

>>26332971
haha. She's still one of my favorite ladies, we reconciled later. Still a nympho though.
>>26333200
lol
>>26333205
yeah they're douchebags. Every other department dislikes them.

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>>26334343
Just because I don't want a family, doesn't mean I don't want a partner.

Fuck, man. I was doing great these past couple of weeks, I feel like shit, atm.

>>26334375
What led you to think gravity is quantum in the first place, and how would chemistry of ask things help you get to a point that you could prove it?

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>>26334393
I'm confused. You don't want kids, but you would go for a woman who already has a kid, because you don't want a family?

>>26334492
I don't want to pass on my genes, mostly the height and depression, but also because I'm afraid that they will end up with a disability. I couldn't deal with that. Also, liek I said in my first post, I don't like the way the world is heading.

I honestly would take a chick with a kid before I would take a lifetime of loneliness.

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>fucking intelligent as shit, probably going to attend Stanford starting this summer
>good at sports
>amazing at art, and basically everything else I do
>maybe a 6/10 at best tho
>even the girls Im into talk to and hang out with me frequently
>it all just seems fake though
>in massive amounts of physical pain at all times and doctors can't figure out why isn't helping
>older male role model dies of cancer
>anxietyallthetimebecauseofit.wmv

It's like no matter how much good happens something bad counter acts it. I'm fine through out the day but as OP said, nighttime hits and I can't help but feel so lonely and depressed

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>>26334482
lol sounds like you don't pay much attention to the physics world, so I'll dumb it down for you:

General relativity = big.
Quantum mechanics = small.

How do you get from small to big?

You invent a theory which covers both the small and the big; quantum mechanics with gravity, or simply "quantum gravity."

There are numerous quantum gravity theories out there (loop quantum gravity, string theory, causal dynamical triangulations, spin foam...) but my favorite is the AdS/CFT correspondence (anti de-sitter space/conformal field theory) which takes a chunk of string theory and compares it to loop quantum gravity.

The guiding principle behind AdS/CFT is that the entanglement entropy of some set of quantum information, defines how far away those groups of information are. The quantum complexity of that system defines how "big" it is; put in simpler terms, if you have two entangled black holes, the wormhole between them is short if the entanglement entropy is low, and wide if the relative complexity is small.

Now, if this principle holds, then one could shrink/compress spacetime by taking two groups of quantum information (the occupied energy states of say, a chemical compound) and performing operations (EM interaction, introduction of other chemical species) on it in such a way to reduce the entanglement entropy between the two.

Doing that requires more than just shoving energy at something. It requires analysis of every available energy state, and techniques to manipulate the structure of those states on the atomic scale - but across LOTS of them. It requires a thermodynamic perspective only seen in chemistry, not that seen in physics.

Anyways. That's the dumbed down version :)
>pic mostly unrelated

>>26334774
>probably going to attend Stanford starting this summer

HSSC is for high school students

underage b& hello

>>26330479
>Late at night, I feel so alone. Like I wish I could fall asleep with someone, and not just be alone during those final moments.

Having someone won't make you any less lonely.

>>26334930
> he didn't read the rules

>late night
>sun already rising once more
Ah, fuck.

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>>26334668
ah I see. That's quite the huge confidence issue though...girls aren't going to like hearing that, not unless you can show them that you still want to be a capable life partner. Women don't like men who don't like themselves.

Nonetheless, if you get a girl, and she wants to have kids, you should just tell her. If she believes that you want to make a good life for your kid, then I'm sure she'll be fine with your decision that your genes aren't good, and if she liked you beforehand, that sort of thing won't be the end of the world. Sperm donors galore these days.

oh, and the world might going in a bad direction, but you never know, maybe we'll be able to get off this shithole of a planet...

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>>26334930

It's definitely an issue, friendo.

>Find someone submissive enough to please me
>It's a guy
>I'm not fucking gay

I've tried gay before, it's not really something I'm into

A dark part of me wants to try finding and manipulating a crazy suicidal girl who feels worthless so I can take over her life. My one positive adult influence gave me a decent sense of morality though, so I could never. Unless she really wanted it. I'm also average looking and not a chad, so it'd be hard.

>>26334789
I just don't pay attention to the string theory meme.
I'm glad you've devised an experiment to test it, though. Sounds dope.

Could you rephrase the short and wide stuff?

>>26332358
What? Why wouldn't you want kids?
What's the point then?

>>26330479
I know this exact feel, anon. I just started getting my life back into order. In a way it feels good, but it's also fucking hard.

I came up with a good idea to help myself in rough times: I tell myself that I'm my own best friend and that a best friend won't let me down.

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>tfw walk up to open field near my house at night
>lay back and look up at the stars
>watch the lights of airplanes fly over and imagine i'm on one, flying to a better life
>end up crying

>life is still shit
>not improving at all
>things keep getting worse by the second
...

>>26334789

This is one of the dumbest thing I have ever read on 4chan lol. For one, we don't even have a large degree of control over qubits yet so I don't see how you would take "two groups of quantum information". Further, how do you discount the work being done in ETH and MBL for analyzing the full spectrum? I'm also curious, since AdS/CFT is your "favorite" how do you reconcile our universe not being AdS and why not other dual theories e.g. surface phases of 4+1d TSC yielding the Standard model? ;)

>>26334918
Actually it does from my experience.

Still awake.

Don't want to go to bed. Lonely.

>>26330479
Maybe we can make each other feel less lonely? If you're still awake, anyway.

>>26337518
Yeah I'm here. What's up.

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I'm always up late usually doing homework. I usually get about 4 hours of sleep, sometimes more sometimes none. It gets extra lonely at night since everyone is sleeping. Even 4chan gets noticeably slower. It helps keeping more lights on though. Staying in the dark for a long time causes depression, and having more lights on does seem to help. I try to improve myself
>started lifting sorta
>learning new languages
>reading about different skills and hobbies
>trying to sleep more
>still ugly and no gf or social life

>>26337536
Do you wanna have a sleepover? :3

>>26337574
lol. haha okay. How do we do that...?

>>26337580
My skype is naschkattze. If you want to call we can - my fingers are getting frosty from typing outside the blankets.

>>26332088
Stay alive bud

>>26337637
sounds pretty cozy, I really need some new skype friends

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>right before I go to sleep
>tell myself how I'm going to change,
>how I'm going to get a gf,
>how I'm going to work out,
>how even if i don't get a gf I can still be happy
>how I'm going to sleep earlier and wake up earlier
>Go to sleep and wake up past noon
>nothing I contemplated matters and I'm back to the same self destructive mentality
>do nothing till night, fap, got to bed
>rinse and repeat

It's almost 5am.
Can anything break me from this purgatory?

>>26338957
3:06 am here

No I can't.

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>neet for literally all my life teenage life
>21 now
>family is genuinely worried about me
>have to get a job
>think to myself how can bad can it be
>get the job
>family starts congratulating me
>reality is now sinking in that my life will be waking up from 9 to 5 every day until i can find a reasonable excuse to quit or get fired

So help me god. I don't think I'm going to do well in the outside world.

>>26332088
Just like yer mother, never could follow through on anything

>>26330975
Man those guys are assholes. I know the feel of wanting to prove people wrong too. Haven't been able to yet and by the time I can they will have forgotten about me. Feels bad.

I don't know. I used to feel like that as a kid. But there's something so satisfying about acknowledging your own independence. There need be no one next you when you fall asleep. You are the whole, complete package.

Like, having a partner makes you kind of like half a person. All the energy that belonged to you is now divided. A liability and a a loss.

I really hate people
I especially hate people who can't see how unfair life is
I really want to hurt these people
Fuck, I hate normals so much

These are some real feels

>>26334930
Are you fucking retarded?

>>26340181
>reality is now sinking in that my life will be waking up from 9 to 5 every day until i can find a reasonable excuse to quit or get fired

You should have already known that this is how shitty real life a.k.a. debt slave life is (people who are not in the elite social class a.k.a. super rich).

I think that sometimes, when I meet a really wonderful girl, I purposely ignore her and let her go because I feel that I can't take care of her the way she deserves. Relationships with me are a big drama. Either because of my traumatic background or the physical issues I have. I met this great gall this weekend and she whispered to me to follow her to the dancefloor. I saw in her eyes, she was lonely. In need of someone. Scared to be alone. But I ignored her.

I'm still not sure if I should use a girl like that just for sex or not. I'd rather not be an asshole like that, but I want to have been with such a girl before I kick the bucket.

I've fucking lost the girl I'm in love with.

She's blocked me on everything for over a month now. She hates me. We live on opposite sides of the planet now.

I've found out through mutual friends why she's mad at me, and it's over something I've literally never said in my life.

Said mutual friend is too much of a pacifist to stick up for me which is kind of annoying, so I basically have no way of speaking to her. She's literally gone.

I don't know what to fucking do anons. I can't stop thinking about her.

>>26343346
what did you supposedly say?

>>26343346
I read your story about 5 times on r9k and b now. What do you want us to say. You say she's gone.

I don't know man pay her a visit or something. Get on your knees and tell her how you feel. But she probably didn't love you back as much as you love her if she was able to get away from you that easy.

>>26333329
What's your problem with TB? I could listen to him talk about stuff all day.

>>26343381
Lel I have it saved so whenever threads like this come up I pop it up to vent. It feels nice and shit.

Assumed people wouldn't see it twice but obviously not.

Sorry pham.

>>26343708
Is okay. So, u gonna take my advice or kill yourself?

>>26343842
Well I can't because we live on other sides of the planet now so yeah I'll probably just an hero lel

>>26343855
you probably wont. people who really want to kill themselves usually dont vent about their feelings and problems. They bottle it up till they burst.

>>26343888
Yeah I'm not gonna kill myself. My emotions are all over the place and I don't see myself getting over her in the future but still. Everything else is great.

>>26343361
I'm a big football/soccer fan. I watch my team play every weekend. I stream it online because I can't afford the TV channels to watch it properly.

She likes to Skype. When I'm watching the game, I can't Skype her because I'm using my computer to watch the game. And if I used my phone, the Internet'd be super slow because I'm streaming the game. But I'll Skype her during any other time and I have Skyped her during other times.

Apparently I told her I care more about watching the game than I care about her. And that really hurt her. I have looked through our conversations. I have never said that. Never implied it. In fact, I've said the exact opposite.

Of course, I can't stand up for myself because I'm blocked. So it sucks.

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>was a reclusive neet, college dropout who never leaves the house or talked to anyone other than online
>decide I'm tired of feeling lonely, desperate for a relationship
>Over the next 7-8 years
>reach out to old school friends, start being social again
>groom myself, learn about fashion
>lean social skills through trial and error
>get a job
>move from low paid job to decent paying job
>move to own place
>get /fit/
>social with work colleagues


>still awkward as fuck
>still friendzoned any time I try
>still alone