[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
>"Anon, wake up!!!!"
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 66
>"Anon, wake up!!!!"
>"Hold on just a few minutes longer"
>"Sergeant Chad, he's not gonna make it!!!!"

You may be wondering how I got here, from shitposting on Japanese image boards, to being a Black Berets Special Forces commando. This is my story.
File: 800px-thumbnail.jpg (167 KB, 800x533) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
167 KB, 800x533
Bootcamp was fun, sometimes I trade rare Charizards with fellow NEETS while I got cummies in the outhouse.
File: Beta Orbiter.jpg (34 KB, 539x355) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Beta Orbiter.jpg
34 KB, 539x355
But then there was Stacy, she was quite a bitch, there was always that one robot who would do everything for her.
If she wasn't sucking the drill sergeant's dick then she was just trying to find another way to fuck up our lives.
I made alot of friends though, Private Cuck and I became very close as he just lost his wife to a big dicked Green Beret.
>tfw just came home from the orthopede and he says I can't join the military in a combat role.

I have never felt so empty. All of my hopes and dreams gone, they were entirely based on the service I wanted to do. Instead of being in combat where I don't even need to "tfw no gf" and becoming hardened from all the training I get to sit here and shitpost while being all "tfw no gf", staying autistic. I just want to die.
File: le UN.jpg (51 KB, 640x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
le UN.jpg
51 KB, 640x360
Then the war broke out, General Assburgers sent us overseas to kill some doon coons, Sergeant Cuck was hoping to find a qt 3.14 Arabic gf to hold the key to his chastity belt, while I was hoping to find a curvy Arab mommy gf.
Fucking hell you're autistic OP
File: UN Rape Squad.jpg (184 KB, 1024x683) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
UN Rape Squad.jpg
184 KB, 1024x683
I was quite intimidated by the UN's Mandingo Squadron Special Forces Unit, however I reminded myself that while I had an inferior penis, I would live longer than they would.
I like this story, I bump
File: 25lebanon-600.jpg (82 KB, 600x330) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
82 KB, 600x330
"Lieutenant Commander Chad, the remaining peacekeepers have been hit with a Muslim semen bomb"

We need an EVAC NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice samefagging, loser
File: Jewy.jpg (56 KB, 564x846) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56 KB, 564x846
L.C. Chad:"Hey anon patch those third world fuckers up and give them a blow job!!!"

Anon: Give the job to Sergeant Stacy, she's been promoted three fucking times, and hasn't done jack shit

S. Stacy: Um anon, I'm a grill, you know I'm too weak to fight or help but I deserve promotion its equal rights.
File: 192f9fa66124vjpg.jpg (54 KB, 800x450) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54 KB, 800x450
The military is basically NEET-central
File: Marine Spic.jpg (38 KB, 538x541) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Marine Spic.jpg
38 KB, 538x541

Anon: "Shut your cum receptacle and get back to mopping up the kitchen guido!!!"
File: Syria_explosion.jpg (36 KB, 625x375) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
36 KB, 625x375

Straight out of nowhere.
File: IED Chad.jpg (68 KB, 535x559) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IED Chad.jpg
68 KB, 535x559
>"Aaaaah, fuck anon, you've just been promoted"
>"I think I've just lost two inches off of my dick"
>"Private Cuck, your wife is gonna have to nurse the remainder back to health, uuuhh aw!!! fuck"
File: 4975.jpg (90 KB, 448x570) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
90 KB, 448x570
Private Cuck: "Uuuum Anon, I'm not gonna make it, I've got no legs and my chastity cage is permanently sealed onto my little clitty"

L.C. Anon:"Don't let your dreams be dreams Cuck, I'll find a goat herder who is willing to fuck his daughter and let you eat the creampie, after all you're my best friend"
>selling your soul to the government
>implying I have a soul
File: based john.png (124 KB, 615x406) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
based john.png
124 KB, 615x406
(Meanwhile, 50 clicks from the United States Liberation Force Base)

Degenerate John: We strike at night, kill the men, but leave the traps and qt's alive, I want to expand my harem, no more goat fucking boys. It's time to get some pure white pussy.
File: 1436643077155.jpg (89 KB, 706x706) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
89 KB, 706x706
when i was a kid i thought the military was cool and it would be cool to fight in war

so fucking cringey

i thought it was like the WWII shows on the history channel with glory and valor and shit

but really it's lame as fuck, apparently there is barely any actual contact with enemy troops and most of the deaths are from road bombs or snipers and drones and stuff

that's so fucking lame. i wanted to be born in a time where i could look an enemy in the eyes as he dies

Chadmed: "Ummm, John I can't do it tonight, I'm cucking one of the soldiers from the base. He's supposed to eat my creampie out of my loli's cunt."
I'd follow this guy to hell and back
File: ainsley 6.jpg (28 KB, 480x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ainsley 6.jpg
28 KB, 480x360
We all thought this as kids famalam.
File: ....jpg (26 KB, 455x320) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
26 KB, 455x320
19:00 hours

Private Cuck:"Anon, we're under attack again, I need my Nirvana music, if I'm going to start slaughtering child soldiers!!!"
File: jihad warrior.jpg (43 KB, 512x310) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
jihad warrior.jpg
43 KB, 512x310
>"Die infidel, your white women will be defiled by little three inch cock"

Private Cuck:"Anon, HELP!!!!!!! I've always had a fantasy of being beheaded while watching a jihadi warrior culturally enrich my wife, but I think I'm regretting it. Help!!!"
>I got you covered private Cuck, don't worry we'll find a way to safely cuck you.

Bam. Fires Shot
File: lpl.jpg (35 KB, 478x269) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
35 KB, 478x269
After that day I was never the same, we lost 42 good men, luckily I was able to get a kill, which caught the attention of the Assburgers Special Forces Division
File: 4729.jpg (407 KB, 1024x662) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
407 KB, 1024x662
>June 12, 2015
>After several months of rigorous special forces training, I have finally become the killing machine I always dreamed about being in high school.
>I knew that when I came home I could finally contribute to the beta uprising and obtain the coveted high score and join my idols Eric and Dylan in the afterlife.
File: STacy.jpg (28 KB, 468x309) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
28 KB, 468x309
Although I had achieved a notorious ranking, I was not safe from the cock gobbling Stacy. By participating in bukkake parties and anal gangbangs, she was also able to get a spot in the Black Beret Special Forces Squad.
>I was never able to get a mommy gf, but I finally fucked my new best friend's wife.
>He didn't seem to mind, and sometimes he would blush when he walked on in me pounding her fat, moldy cunt.
>It was fun, but I knew I wasn't a Chad yet.
File: Snipper.jpg (67 KB, 635x534) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
67 KB, 635x534
>June 15, 2015 Judgement Day
>"Anon!!!! Stop beating off with Stacy's dirty socks and get your gear, we've got a report that there are some Sand Niggers 20 miles west and they've got a caravan of pure Slavic virgins. We've got to liberate them, before they're turned into roasties"
>June 15, 2015 13:00 hours
>I sat there pondering, whether it was right of me to lose my virginity to a fat, beefy whore wife
>I would never be able to obtain wizardry
>My life felt scarred and incomplete
>This couldn't be how Chad feels could it?
File: asian qt patooty.jpg (65 KB, 564x376) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
asian qt patooty.jpg
65 KB, 564x376
Yellow-fevered beta:"Hey anon, you want some of this prime filipino pussy? White women simply can't compete, I love the feeling of pounding a tight cunt that smells like old sushi. You want a try at it?"
File: ijo.jpg (9 KB, 400x265) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9 KB, 400x265
>June 15, 2015 13:27 hours
Corporal Thundercock: "Incoming!!!!! Awww shit, we've been hit, MAYDAY MAYDAY, This Beta Team 6 we've been hit, anon hold on we're going down.
File: NEETy.jpg (42 KB, 470x423) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
42 KB, 470x423
>June 15, 2015 14:54 hours
Corporal Thundercock: "Splurge, cough, Anon come here. I know you think you won't get a cute mommy gf, but if you be yourself and lift every day, you can get any girl you want. Trust me it's that easy.

Anon: But Corporal, I'm not a 9/10 Chad, and I have no social skills.

Corporal Thunderock: Oh shit, nevermind I forgot you're a pathetic shitbird cough, cough splurge. Leave me now, I don't want you to be the last face I remember. Cough

(death rattle blows out of Thundercock's mouth)
ivan we make helicopter out of granite
is wall in sky
File: nquo47.jpg (372 KB, 1024x683) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
372 KB, 1024x683
Blue-pilled neckbeard:"Anon get down, they're firing at us again!!!!"
File: sad black man.jpg (11 KB, 352x236) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
sad black man.jpg
11 KB, 352x236
Private Tyrone: "Sob, sob, uhm, Anon we're not gonna make it are we? We've fought so hard and I haven't even gotten to fuck dem white wimmens with muh BBC"

(nigger continues to cry)
I like this.
File: Colonizing time.jpg (59 KB, 464x261) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Colonizing time.jpg
59 KB, 464x261
Anon:"What the fuck did you say to me Tyrone!!!! I am a loyal defender and savior of the white race, do not talk about my women like that!!!!"

Private Tyrone:"No Mastah, please I suck yo dick no no please, I don't wanna die!!!"

(Tyrone begs his superior white master for mercy)
File: gear.jpg (176 KB, 540x810) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
176 KB, 540x810
Red-pilled Stormfag: "Anon, we're taking serious fire over here, I can't get into Valhalla if I'm fighting along side of a nigger, kill him now!!!!!!"
File: 1454465146141.jpg (2 MB, 1944x2592) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 1944x2592
If you've got memeflix there's a docudrama called 14 diaries of the great war
Its portrayal of Ernst Junger seems like the kind of person the anons in this thread as well as myself wished to be
File: ping.jpg (45 KB, 564x423) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
45 KB, 564x423
Anon:"Sweet dreams, you un-evolved primate!!!!"
(Bang) Headshot!!

Private Tyrone:"But we wuz slaves and sheet, this oppres.............(Tryone's brains are splattered on the ground)
rip tyrone
File: Syrian Penthouse.jpg (376 KB, 1247x837) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Syrian Penthouse.jpg
376 KB, 1247x837
Red-pilled Stormfag: "Nice work anon, but you're not fully Aryan so you won't be joining me in Valhalla"

Anon:"No time for your Nordic blasphemy, let's take cover in that shithole the sand niggers call a house.
File: Quickscoping.jpg (56 KB, 540x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56 KB, 540x360
Red-pilled Stormfag: "I'll take watch from this window, you need to go up to the roof to signal in a chopper"
(Bang, bang cheap soviet bullets are fired into the buidling)

Anon:"Move it, we're about to get fucked"

Red-pilled Stormfag:"Odin here me now!!!!!!! I have defended the white race on many internet forums, please send the Valkyries to take me home. Aaaaaah, (Stormfag blindly fires his $4,000 piece of weaponry and hits several mudslimes)
File: Ausie.png (7 KB, 364x313) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 364x313
oi, this is sgt. ausieshitposter i switched sides, my battalion of big dicked tyrones say they wanna rape yer bum
File: good boy.jpg (24 KB, 870x551) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
good boy.jpg
24 KB, 870x551
Degenerate John:"Aaah ha ha ha, finally I have the pink dicked Americans surrounded, Chadmed you know what to do"
File: Apache 2.jpg (86 KB, 1024x573) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Apache 2.jpg
86 KB, 1024x573
(Apache dispatched)
Aussie cucks located, missiles away.
Repeat, Kangaroo fuckers are dead
/pol/ poster: (radio) artillery is in position
Anon: " Lieutenant Stacy, give me cover fire NOW!!!!!!!"

Stacy:"Hold on dude, I'm changing my tampons"

(Stacy's bitchiness has taken its toll, Anon's primal instincts set in)
>Anon unzips pants
>Stacy looks up in horror
Anon:"Today you're going to know what it feels like to take NEET cock in your ass!!!"
File: Sergeant Stacy.jpg (55 KB, 510x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Sergeant Stacy.jpg
55 KB, 510x720
>Now having learned her place as an inferior organism created only to pleasure NEETs, Stacy radios in for the artillery unit to fire.
>Hmmmmmm, Ficki ficki, Chadmed I can smell the white woman's pussy blood from down here. We must be getting close.
File: wehrmacht wojak.jpg (93 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
wehrmacht wojak.jpg
93 KB, 500x500
>tfw born too late to fight in ww2
hold me phams
File: cvc.jpg (76 KB, 540x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
76 KB, 540x360
>(The red-pilled Stormfag continues firing, the conscience of having a small penis provides him with the anger to keep on fighting, hoping that Odin will bless him)
please finish this masterpiece
File: nignog.jpg (89 KB, 640x428) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
89 KB, 640x428
Anon:"Stormfag get doooownnn!!!!!!!!"

Big dicked jihadi: "Ha ha sweet dreams white man:


Stormfag:"Ahh Valha........."

Stormcuck gets obliterated by BBC's RPG.
File: skillz.jpg (99 KB, 634x417) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
99 KB, 634x417
Anon:"They're coming again, live fast, die fast lets go NEETs"

>In these moments I pondered my life
>I grew up playing vidya and only had one friend in kindergarten
>I never kissed a girl not even when I fucked my best friend's wife
>I became a Certified Killing Machine at age 27
>In total I have 56 certified kills
>But I'm not happy
>I have no mommy gf
>All of my friends have died
>I have no one who loves me
>In those moments I fought with honor
>I had and still do have a death wish
(from the smoke of artillary fire emerges a human wave of russians most not carrying weapons)

Russians: URA!
File: Degenerate John.jpg (60 KB, 1368x1026) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Degenerate John.jpg
60 KB, 1368x1026
>June 15, 2015 18:34 hours
>Lieutenant Stacy has taken several gunshot wounds to the abdomen ensuring she will never breed again.

>The others are severely injured and The Black Beret Squadron is almost decimated

Degenerate John:"They have fought well, but I will personally behead that autismal NEET myself!!!!!!!!!"
File: 67546548845.jpg (86 KB, 450x532) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
86 KB, 450x532
>*teleports in front of you shove you to the ground and unsheaths katana*
>not on my watch draw your weapon!
File: pew pew.jpg (99 KB, 540x359) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
pew pew.jpg
99 KB, 540x359
>In those moments I had nothing
>No purpose in life
>I always had a false hope that I would do great things or that life would get better
>That is why I never killed myself
>But instead of making it, I spent my years halfway around the world earning a reputation as the most deadly NEET on the planet

In a fury I run out the building

Anon:"Degenerate John!!!!! Tell Mohammed Goatfucker I'm about to see him in HELL!!!"
>I could tell that my rifle was about to run dry
>I had accomplished nothing in life, I thought I could become alpha, I thought I could become Chad, but I was destined to be a robot
>I had Degenerate John in my crosshairs
>I had him
>I emptied my rifle into that degenerate goat fucker
>And then everything went black
>I was surrounded and ready to die
originally bumping this thread
File: untitled3.jpg (92 KB, 786x414) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
92 KB, 786x414
>I could feel my body being carried
>They threw among the others
>Stacy, the beta orbiters, the stormcuck, the blue-pilled nu-male, and commander Chad, all dead
>The stench of gasoline grew stronger as they doused me in it
>I fleeted in and out of consciousness
>Being burned alive was not the method of death I had in mind
>Degenerate John limped forward (still alive)
>He flicked the match
>I could feel my flesh leaving me, groaning and cooking
>And as my soft exterior departed, the cold and hardened steel of a true robot appeared.
cuck poster pls go
File: robot s.jpg (41 KB, 480x367) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
robot s.jpg
41 KB, 480x367
>June 15, 2015 20:00 hours
>I wake up
>My vision distorted
>Around me I can see normies frantically trying to preserve my body
>But I don't want to go on
>I don't want them to keep me alive
>They made me the way I am
>They caused this
>I pull the the tubing out of my chest
>I rip the iv needle out of my wrist
>Everything goes numb
File: MG42_zpscd87e364.jpg (109 KB, 993x542) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
109 KB, 993x542
(gets mowed down by mg 42)
Wehrmacht soldier: stupid untermensch
File: Salvation.jpg (268 KB, 670x314) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
268 KB, 670x314
>My eyes open unwillingly
>There is no pain
>And as I look I gaze into the cosmos
>I have finally escaped the earth
>No more pain, no more horrible feels
>I don't worry about having a mommy gf to care for me, since I have always been devoid of love
>There is harmony
>I feel at rest
>My body travels at incredible speeds
>I descend among the Pillars of Creation
>And here a song that warms my heart
>It reminds me of when I was a child
>When the world was innocent and when I had hope and thought there was love.
>A bright light envelops my body
>I lose control
>After regaining consciousness I wake up in a bed
>As I turn to my right, I see what I have always wanted
>My qt mommy gf
File: galaxy stars.jpg (105 KB, 500x339) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
galaxy stars.jpg
105 KB, 500x339
>Now I am truly at peace
>I live in a realm free from normies and roasties
>I make love to my mommy gf every waking hour
>I have become 2d
>I have ascended
original comment
beautiful ;_;
truly touching.
File: 1377730209363.gif (319 KB, 314x314) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
319 KB, 314x314
brava, best thread i've seen here in a long time
File: merci beacoup.gif (2 MB, 450x234) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
merci beacoup.gif
2 MB, 450x234
Thank you kind anons.
File: 199.jpg (60 KB, 1919x651) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
60 KB, 1919x651
that was absolutely beautiful anon, well done
File: no waifu.jpg (16 KB, 400x319) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
no waifu.jpg
16 KB, 400x319

In loving memory to the fallen robots at the battle of Beta's Peak on June 15, 2015
>My dream is joining the military so I can be the goverment's bitch

Pathetic. Militaryfags cant be robots
Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 66
Thread DB ID: 492254

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at wtabusse@gmail.com with the post's information.