One can only live while one is intoxicated with life; as soon as one is sober it is impossible not to see that it is all a mere fraud and a stupid fraud! That is precisely what it is: there is nothing either amusing or witty about it, it is simply cruel and stupid.
The point is to immortalize your legacy either by changing the world or having kids who might have the opportunity to change the world so people not as smart as you can live blissful lives.
I've been in a similar spot for the past couple years. The best existential answer I can think of is absurdism yet that isn't even satisfying. I want philosophical answers but they either aren't there or not in our ability to know. I could live to hope some day in the future we can augment our intelligence and I could continue to search. That doesn't guarantee shit though and math is boring af so why bother
I hope robots exterminate everybody but normies first.