I want to send my ex oneitis flowers on valentines anonymously

>>26311326
I like to watch you while you sleep. -Guess Who!

>>26311326
Roses are red violets are blue trash is dumped and so were you

>>26311326

dewd she probably already has plans. you better not go with that anonymous bullshit, she ain't got time for that she got the next dude already lined up.

now or never.

>>26311369
that's mean

I'm sort of worried for her because we haven't been in contact for 7 years or so and I still follow her romantic history and it seems like every guy breaks up with her. even I did.

>>26311326

Same plan, except I'm sending her Pizza and she's currently seeing someone

I'm going to write
>Make sure he's putting in everything he's got because plenty other guys would

>>26311396
>putting in everything he's got

sounds sort of cucky but I know what you're getting at

>>26311422

Oh that's not a concern, it's been clarified I have a larger penis

He best friend told me

>>26311326
I hope you step on Lego. Bitch.

>>26311392
>I follow her romantic history
>no contact
>7 years
You're fucking hopless

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>>26311464
I know. I've even had girlfriends since her but no one can replace her.

>>26311392
Here's some flowers, I've been stalking you for 7 years maybe you'd like a chance to dump the guy instead this time?

>>26311485
Rekt


For you robot

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Serious answers only please

if you don't have anything helpful to add this thread please don't post

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>>26311545
Is snek serious enough to post?

>>26311545
You should try another board with this instead. I can smell your normalfag from here.

Happy valentines day! I know you think youre alone but theres never a moment that my watchful eyes arent gazing upon you, protecting you from being hurt.

P.s. I ordered you your favorite takeout, it shoul be there soon ~<3

>>26311624
no weeb shit allowed in my threads

reported

>>26311326
This gon' be cringey but I bet it'll work
>Just because you're single doesn't mean you aren't appreciated. Know your worth, don't settle for less.
-maybe your number, depends what you plan to do after

Basically blaming her ex while validating her (they love this.)
You guys all know how women work, start applying it.

>>26311877
>know your worth, don't settle for less
Why the fuck would you even feed another human being that trash? Implying this girl who is probably some roastie is of such a high caliber that she should only get the better things out of life. I fucking hate it when people fees others egos especially in situations like this. Fucking approach someone like they're some fucking queen like that.

>>26311981
Because I want to stick my penis in her.
L2P the game or lose.
I would personally never do this btw.

>>26311877
Thanks this is the best one. Will probably incorporate some of this one too but in a less creepy way.
>>26311684

>>26311326
>succ
That's it, she'll maybe laugh. And laughter is nourishment.

>>26311479
If you dumped her and you still miss her, why havent you contacted her?

>>26312095
Guys this person hacked my profile how do I report him

>>26312132
basically I became a psycho ex-bf and scared her away

>>26312073
>protecting you from being hurt
DONT DONT DONT DONT
you don't want her to think you think she can't take care of herself, that's kind of belittling her.
Also all that guardian angel shit is creepy af.

>>26312062
Inflating peoples egos so you can fuck them fucks everyone over. Alot of guys do this shit and have turned an overwhelming amount of females into fuck egomaniacs. It pisses me off because people like you do this just to fuck them and then I have to deal with these fucking people as a result. Also guys who do this get laid alot and it drives their egos up to. You created Chad and stacy, please fucking kill yourself

>>26312186
>implying anything we will ever do can change the fact that women will always be egocentric narcissists
If you can't beat Chad join him.
I did not create Chad, blame biology for that one.

>>26312371
Stop feeding into it is what I'm saying. Why would you want to be Chad? What's so important about this world that you'd want to become and egotistical douche bag over? I feel like everyone's left r9k at this point and everyone here is just a failed normie. Who the fuck even wants to buy into society? And you'd be willing to give up the person you are just to fuck some sluts and a decent paying job? How does any of that even matter? I mean by becoming Chad you'd also be helping in creating more robots. So you'd be willing to potentially destroy lives for your own personal gain. Idk I feel like r9k so lean more towards the side of fighting back as opposed to buying in.

>>26312473
Like I said earlier, I would never actually do this. I'm just trying to help anon get his nut in.
Have fun "fighting back," keyboard warrior.
You probably don't even have contact with females, so what difference so you make?

>>26312532
I'm a chef in a busy restaurant with and open kitchen. I have to deal with these types of people all fucking day. Not to mention all our customers are rich Republican assholes. I'm fucking tired of these people

>>26312532
And I'm not saying I'm"fighting back" I'm just surprised people would actually want to buy into this crap

>>26312156
If you really havent spoken in 7 years, you can message her. People change. you might not have but she doesnt know

>>26312567
Me too man, but getting triggered and typing this up isn't going to make you feel any better.
Unless you're venting, which is ok.
Get out of here man, this isn't the environment you need.

>>26312613
I am venting sorry.

>>26311326

"Hey dont take this the wrong way but i still love you."

Works every time

>>26312665
You ok mane?

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>>26312473
Chad isn't real it's a fake made up persona of highly exaggerated, boorish, jock/stud attractive males with negative personality traits. For /r9k/'s sake basically any male that has female contact or isn't introverted.

Nobody wants to emulate that and people who think and believe that women want to be treated like whores and are actually attracted to douchbaggery behavior because they likely saw it on tinder or some shit are the same retards that want to be or grudging *idolize* "chad".

Also to OP it's over, either send her a card/wish her well or don't do it at all. But drop any expectation that you might be back with her. If you dumped her then expect its over and you need to look for other prospects.

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>in college
>working 2 full time jobs
>3 weeks before christmas
>I help her move into her new apartment
>end of the day
>her parents are leaving
>she invites me to her living room
>asks me to sit down
>"I'm breaking up with you."
>"Why?"
>"Because you'll never be religious."
>Cry.
>Get up.
>Walk home.
>go to bed
>wake up
>go to bed
>wake up
>go to bed
>get a call
>"Anon you're fired"
>go to bed
>get a call
>"Anon you're fired"
>go to bed
>wake up
>"You missed your midterms. Do you want to make them up? What's going on? You were en route to get a B+!"
>hang up
>go to bed
>develop bed sores
>smell awful
>roommate offers to cook me dinner
>first time eating in days
>roommate starts leaving water by my bed
>proceed to starve
>go from 6' 160lbs to 5'10" 115 pounds
>it's been over a year
>call a counselor
>go to sleep
>wake up
>go to counselor
>she admits me as inpatient to psych ward
>three weeks later, sent back home
>slowly get my life together
>still have stretch marks on my inner thigh due to rapid loss of lean tissues

Women are for fucking, but I only date men now.

Oh, almost forgot to mention.


>2 weeks after breakup
>be 7pm
>be sleeping
>roommate wakes me up
>"how're you holding up?"
>silence.minutesof
>"so I guess you heard. you really deserved better."
>she was already dating her coworker from her new job
>remember she told me when we broke up that she'd be going to a party later that night
>remember that she was going with chad
>and now she's dating him
>no, she's still dating him
>she has probably been dating him for months.