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What is the edgiest thing you have ever done?...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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What is the edgiest thing you have ever done? I guarantee no one in this thread can sincerely beat me

>Jury summons
>Murder case
>Defendant pleads not guilty
>During the case the overwhelming evidence proves his guilt
>Defendant killed a chad who once bullied him in school
>Foreman just says "So I take it we're all agreed on guilty then?" Within 5 seconds of entering the deliberation room
>"No, I believe he is not guilty"
>"I believe there is a reasonable doubt that he committed murder"
>Judge accepts a majority verdict
>The other 11 look at me like some child rapist.
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>19 years old
>just discharged from the Marine Corps for a personality disorder
>just discharged from an insane asylum after a three month stay after losing my shit on a couple of people
>just finished recovering enough from surgery that I can walk again
>on more meds than I could count
>the meds are for all the wrong things, they're actually making me worse
>have bipolar disorder
>mania is at an all-time high
>dye my hair purple and buy a bunch of weapons
>ask one of my roommates to drive me to the barracks where my ex-boyfriend lived
>he immediately lets me into his room and thinks I want to fuck
>get him to take off his shirt and jacket
>as soon as he's undressed, start slashing and stabbing at him with one of the knives I brought with me
>he's too shocked to properly defend himself, I easily overpower him
>we're wrestling on the floor, I keep cutting at his hands and arms
>he keeps begging me not to kill him, I keep insisting I don't want to kill him, I just want to hurt him, I can't stop hurting him
>he manages to scramble up off the floor, I lunge after him and hit the wall
>I take my golden moment of opportunity to start screaming for help
>my roommate bursts in the door, it looks like we got in a bad fight and he's the one pinning me down
>ex shakily tells him to get the knife off of me and to get me the hell out of there
>I gladly cooperate
>hastily clean the knife off before we get back in the car, manage not to get a drop of blood on anything
>throw all my clothes in the wash, take a shower immediately
>just as soon as I sit down to paint my nails and casually watch tv with my roommates to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary, the cops bust down the door, pin me to the floor with three guns to the back of my head, cuff me and drag me to their car
>politely tell them where all of my weapons are kept, they ransack the house anyways
>spend the rest of the night in a holding cell

OP you don't even know the meaning of edge
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>dye my hair purple and buy a bunch of weapons

/r9k/ was right yet again!
No shit, no respectable woman would dye their hair. You have to be in a position where you don't have a stable job, a respectable position or any sort of public exposure to do something like that. That only leaves students, NEETs, people in the arts and/or complete social disgraces. It doesn't take a genius to connect those dots.
>page 9
>no one on /r9k/ has any edgy stories to share
I don't believe it
>Be 17
>Family asks me every week if I want to go to church, but I always say no
>One week I tell them I'd love to
>I go to church with them
>When the priest gets to the lord's prayer, I loudly say the opposite of every line (e.g. "blasted be thy bastard name")
>At the end of the prayer, I step into the aisle to debate the priest
>Instead, a bunch of old farts and balding, middle-aged cucks push me out of the door
>Grandparents were crying their eyes out
>filled out my passport paperwork

I hope you get hit by a truck

unoriginal, kek.
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you seem like a great person, want to talk?
got an email?
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That's not edgy, that's fucking justice pham. Our frog god KEK will have a special place in the afterlife reserved for you, the rest of the jurors will be condemned to frog hell.
so... then what happened?
You crazy roastie whore! Women are the devil.
I feel like I met someone like you in a ward.
Where are you from?
>**3 cringfest 7 m3 m8
very funny ;_;

>since I was on a military base I was processed differently than I normally should have been
>was able to be released from my cell the next day
>one of my roommates, bless their fucking hearts, heard what happened and came to pick me up
>a week later, the cops show up to our house and tell me I have 15 minutes to collect my things
>escorted off of the base, barred from it for life, would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law if I ever tried to get back there
>had no job, no friends, no money, only my car and the three boxes I managed to pack with some clothes and my laptop
>spent the next four hours in a coffeeshop panicking and trying to find an apartment on craigslist
>reserved a room in a hostel just in case I didn't find anything
>luck was on my side and I found someone who took me in for the night, wound up living with her for the next month
>during that time, I was given court summons, I was charged with assault and could have faced a $5,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison
>was assigned a lawyer because I was too poor to afford one
>she was actually extremely competent, communicated with the prosecutor and got them on our side
>after several months of hell I was eventually declared guilty
>they didn't fine me, no jail time, but I was to be indefinitely assigned to a forensic psychiatrist, put on probation for a year and I couldn't leave the city
>the mental health care I received turned my fucking life around, they put me on medication that actually worked and I haven't been manic ever since
>now actually a productive and (almost) healthy member of society
>never looked up what happened to the guy I assaulted from the guilt but I was told that despite being scarred pretty badly he's completely functional and wasn't damaged by the assault in a way that hinders his functioning

From California, stayed in a ward in England, Germany and Maryland.
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If you had an inkling of charisma in your blood you could have turned that into a 12 angry men type situation. Or was the evidence that solid against the dude?
Men do crazy shit all the time too. Mental illness is the real devil.
Not that edgy, I guess, just dickish.
>homo comes on to me in about 9th grade
>not one of those gays, a real jock type
>super religious family
>begs me not to tell anyone
>say sure
>i'm desperate for attention at the time
>immediately tell everyone, complimenting myself as I say it
>later find out he got kicked out of his house
>he finds me in the hall
>super angry, eyes are red, kind of an angry cry
>"What the fuck, man? You fucking promised!"
>"Huh? I didn't say anything. Someone must have just found out."
This also happened twice with girls, if you want those stories too.
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am serious though, partly because you posted my favorite guro artist and partly I like talking to troubled people since they're the only ones I can really find interesting conversations with.

[email protected]
heres my contact
>This also happened twice with girls, if you want those stories too.
Yes you attention-starved asshole, tell us
I agree

also, nice fucking quaids
Jesus loves you anyway child
You should have been aborted. Trainwreck of a human being.
alright, I sent an email against my better judgement. hopefully something good will come of it, I usually don't do this.
>12th grade
>girl asks me to prom
>kind of cute, but pretty chubby
>tell her sure, as long as she handles the outfits
>tell popular friends who usually ignore me
>alpha bitch stacy and I are going to mess with her
>weeks go by, outfits picked out
>show up, matching with stacy
>nerdy girl shows up, finds me and stacy
>tell her I'm sorry, but I forgot she asked me
>she runs out in tears, drives back home, calls me 8 times that night before blocking my number in anger
Nice reference brah
please tell me you went to federal prison
>tfw no response

of course this isn't original
>didn't fine me
>didn't go to jail
>probation for a year

This is female privilege
Saved the best for last.
>summer between 11th and 12th grade
>thinking of relationships
>mainly how I'm not in one and how worse people are
>think of another stacy and chad couple
>they were together since around 7th grade
>stalk said chad's facebook profile
>he's flying out to a family reunion on friday, going to be gone until monday
>convince good friend to host a party
>I pay for most of the alcohol, bro as fuck uncle gets it for me
>invite stacy and bunch of others to this party
>she always was a bit of a drinker
>not as much as I am, though
>as soon as she gets there, have more than a couple shots of liquor with her
>she's completely fucking hammered
>i'm about halfway there
>remember my plan amid my drunken stumbling
>ask her if she wants to go lay down for a bit
>use said friends own bedroom
>start taking her shirt off, telling her that she wouldn't want vomit on it
>she thanks me for being so helpful, and sweet
>start feeling her up a bit
>she puts her arms around my neck
>unhook her bra for her, we start making out for a bit
>perfect perky c cups
>get my phone out, take a few photos
>after making out, convince her to let me inside
>"Chad doesn't have to know, this can be our little secret"
>"O-okay, if you're sure..."
>not really experienced with this
>jam it in at first opportunity
>get a couple good strokes in before I bust
>no time to pull out
>drop a load inside her
>she says "that was nice", and passes out after a couple minutes
>I was taking photos during the fucking, and took some of her after as well
>even had a video of her talking during it for proof that she was conscious and aware
>email it anonymously to chad while he's on vacation
>comes back, dumps her, bitch doesn't remember a thing about the party
>nobody snitches on me either
Thank fucking god she was on the pill, though.
>This is female privilege
This. I KNOW without a single doubt in my fucking mind that if I was a minority or male I would still be in prison right now. There is no justice.

Having said that, though, my life is a living hell and every moment that I'm free is another moment I'm suffering thanks to mental illness, physical disability and the life I've carved out for myself since then. It's not exactly enough to make up for it and I expect to be punished at some point in my life.
I'm 100% sure I've seen this before
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>stocks weapons
>attacks and injures a man with a knife
>found guilty
>still allowed to roam the city streets
>because vagina
Wow. I read your story thinking you were a massive purple headed faggot.
I've been posting on /r9k/ since its inception and on 4chan in general for 9 years, I'm positive I've posted this before at least once. Sorry if you're sick of seeing it by now.

To be fair I was closely monitored for a year and monitored more generously for another six years (which is still ongoing). During that time if I made a single move against another person, if I even got so much as a traffic violation, I would be in prison, but I didn't, so I'm not. I am no longer a threat to society so I am not caged up like an animal that is. It is an extreme exception to the rule and should not be done, but it was, and here we are.

I grew my hair out immediately afterwards and have been a brunette since. Only had the purple hair for about two months of my entire life, but it was so edgy I figured it warranted mention in the greentext.
And you cucks still want gfs.
Is that you Necrofag?
If so, nice to see you around. I used to enjoy your stories immensely.

As long as you know that what you did was fucked up and you deserve to be in a fucking like the chimped out roastie you are, that's alright by me.
It is.
Thanks senpai

What was the point of that Jimmy Stewart?
How did you get a job with a background like that?
sorry, needed to do something important.
will reply as soon as I can
I meant i read your story as you being male. A f
Male with a boyfriend and purple hair and a slicingussue
>be me
>be 14
>dad just broke both his arms falling off a ladder
>stay up late,because no one is home this day,due to dad being in hospital and parents being divorced
>realize I can do whatever I want
>decide to go to an area of the city that is notorious for street prostitution and kill a prostitute with dad`s knife
>it`s 3 AM when I go out
>realize I can`t get to this area due to no public transport
>walking to metro slash a tire of a random car
>realize that if I want to be mischievous that`s the best I`ll get
>dressed in a suit jacket for extra edge
>slash 8 vehicles` tires over an hour or two
>one guy spots me(I think)
>run home
This is bretty edgy I guess.
I've only been able to work retail, and only jobs that don't do background checks. It's rough. I can't complain, though, I brought it on myself.

Thanks for letting me know, take your time.

That makes more sense.
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>at school
>bump into Chad
>turns and says "I'll fukin kill you"
>"I'll do it first"
It was in Model UN, I'm sure some of you have heard of it. It's really pretty stupid and gay, the kids are all morons for the most part, myself included.

My partner (Japan) and I (US) argued to invade North Korea against literally 100 other people. The whole room was against us and hated us. It was even against our official positions. I just really fucking hate North Korea desu. I'm in the Navy now and I would risk my life to have Kim Jong Un killed.

I got in similar arguments online every so often too, I don't see why the US should have any fewer than 5 aircraft carriers deployed in North Koreas immediate vicinity at any one time.

I also hope China gets involved so we can just level all their bright new skyscrapers with cruise missiles. Do it all before their new stealth fighter enters service in 2019. These next few years are a perfect opportunity.
Fug OP that is pretty damn edgy. I cant even nearly top that but one time I walked right through a group of Stacies holding hands in the Six flags parking lot
Did you kill him?
>14 YO
>me and group of friends sexually frustrated
>see year 11 girl with a fat ass
>touch her ass week in week out
>move on to different girls
>feels good
>get too cocky
>see this maths teacher in the dining area
>as we are walking out grab her ass and make her fall to the floor
>Im the only one who gets caught
>teacher wants to press charges
>tells me if I tell the name of the rest of the boys she will let me go
>she lied
>tfw no friends for the rest of school
>tfw the whole school knows the monster you become
I once attacked and nearly killed a young boy.

He was hanging around the water fountain at my high school (I was 16 he was 13 at best maybe 14). He was with friends and said "watch this" and threw a stone at the back of my head.

I flipped.

Turned around and ran at him while I was literally grunting wildly like a mad animal.

The 3 of them screamed and ran away I grabbed the one who threw the stone and throttled him for probably 10 minutes on and off while banging his head on the fountain.

He must still remember that to this day (8 years on). He probably thought he was going to die.

I ran home after that and I was shaking.
Probably because North Korea might have WMD's and could cause mutually assured destruction.
My 5 biggest hobbies in order

>classic literature
>mechanical wristwatches
>artisanal alcohol

I'm pretty sure they have a handful but can't actually be launched on a missile.

Even so, 1 or 2 little nukes would be worth it imo. But I'm not South Korean or deployed on a carrier so I guess I shouldn't be talking.
I was once hit in the head with a softball in gym Freshman Year and I did a similar thing, in retrospect I think it was an accident and I feel sorry to have stressed out the gym teacher
This was different though there was nobody there for 10 minutes and his friends ran away it was just me and him and I kept grunting through my teeth. I kept tightening my grip then letting go then tightening again and I can remember hearing the way he was gasping for air between and then Id say horrible shit to him kept calling him a "little horrible twat" and whacking his head. I was easily double his size and Im really surprised I didnt kill him.
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sent the email, don't know if you got it.
also yeah I would like some guro images, forgot to add that in the email
I got it, and I'll send some pics your way once I reply.
Get off my board Chad. This is MY BOARD! MINE
Mine too.Get out and eat shit and die and kill yourself reeeeeeee.
You're a hipster conservative. You admire "the good old days" and believe Reagan was a god even though he was a serial liar and funded Terrorists and Central-American death squads. You wear watches because you like the style and cultural feel but still carry your smartphone around with you and tell the time using both. You read classical literature in other words anything that penguin classics sells. Mein Kamf copyright ran out great read kill the juice
Elliot's such and ugly child, to think he ever thought he had hope as a Chad..
>be 13
>very addicted to the Internet
>parents turn internet off at 11pm
>get really upset because of this one particular night
>mom isn't home
>sit down in the kitchen until 2am waiting for her to come home
>she finally comes home
>tell her to turn the Internet back on
>she says no and I start yelling at her
>I get really mad and pull out a knife
>point it at her and tell her to turn Internet back on
>scream at her that I hate her and other shit
>she gets really scared, threatens to call police on me if I don't put knife down
>I eventually put it down because I don't want child services to take me away

I wish I was making this up Pham, cringiest memory I have
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