Since we cant edit genes ourselves (yet), we have personality change. Has anyone come across a method to change ones ways permanently and for the good? Ive tried lots of stuff, but im a hard motherfucker to change.
>>26299779 Everybody has some level of confidence inside of them. A shy person doesn't need to just stop being shy, or change their personality. They just need to slowly reach out of that comfort zone and start exploring the confidence that is laying dormant inside of them. Anybody who is reading this and feels hopeless should remember that this comes from small baby steps. Don't force yourself to go to a shitty club tonight and assume you'll be able to force yourself to be social/confident in just a night. Set small obtainable goals, try joining skype group and talking to people online. Try a new food or recipe that you've never had. Wear an item of clothing that you've never felt that you could pull off, but have always wanted to. Build it up slowly, the way you level skills in an RPG. You can do this, I believe in you.
Ok, I never told anyone about his but here we go. >shy kid, bullied hard through middle school >parents even have me diagnosed >doctor and parents agree not to medicate me, sign me up to extracurricular activities with other nerdy kids (music instrument), by me books I am happy >high-school, all the books helped, advanced placement in everything, no more bullies but still a socially awkward KV >start doing push-ups, after 4 months can do 100 a day, physique much better >girl from other school interested because I know about alternative culture and physique ain't a deal breaker, finally kiss last year of highschool >she finds out I am beta and dumps me hard after 5 days, get depressed, spend more time reading, ace all exams and my countries SAT >everyone else takes a gap year or semi-mandatory military service. I go best Uni in the country >No friends again and everyone is older, struggle first year. But do all homework alone because no social anxiety. >second year learn how to study, much better marks >watch some WWE, shows of raw physical power speak to me on primal level >go to gym, get hooked >now people my age start their studies as first years, I am third year and fit, girls interested >get onites, she plays with me but ultimately fucks me over >decide that fuck women, talk to guys in class, they are actually delightful, nerds like me >go out with them, start to have a brotherhood >some older friends of friends mention good films and books, no more shit sci-fi and anime >Music instrument pays off, start working with an actual orchestra (ethnic music), travel for concerts interact with men, become significantly less autistic >Get good job while last year in uni at a Tech company (I probably worked on devices you robots have at home) >makes a lot of money, invest in local business of friends of the family, now welcomed any time >meet, hot 9/10 qt who is really into alternative culture, speaks Japanese and Korean from Anime .... TO BE CONTINUED
>>26300440 *did homeworks alone because of social anxiety, not "no social anxiety" Anyway, here comes the important part. >don't ask qt out because too shy, she starts dating a guy but doesn't tell me, strings me a long for months with rare makeouts (first since high school) >find out, decides that fuck everything and hit on her hard, she leaves he bf but something broke inside me, don't believe anyone >Full time work in Tech now, a lot of money, meet lots of girls through friends business were I am treated like a king because of previous loans. >Crazy 19 years old 7/10 petite nymph almost obsessed. >gf treats me like shit because she is older and wants to officially commit >father who always helped and cheered me up tells me not to commit so young, and to have fun, also he thinks I can do better than gf (she is 2 years older) >take father's advice, she starts treating me like shit, frequent break ups >decides fuck this (same as in uni). >Look at myself in the mirror, and think of my father's advice, I look like chad with all the muscles money, girl and gf (although still a virgin, she wanted to wait until marriage - she was also a virgin, I am positive) >think about young autistic me, feels like I live in a lie. >dump gf because she only wants a chad who is also beta bux. >fucks the 19 years old petite nymph, no more V card. not because society, but because I want. >starts reading again, haven't done that in 2 years. >start watching weird cinema and anime and listen to unfashionable music again >read existentialist books, discover voltaire's Candide and Camus sisyphus and nietzsche's ubermensch. Life is fucked up and there is no meaning, it frees me because no more reason for social anxiety ... TO BE CONTINUED ...
>>26299779 Two small doses of LSD worked for my anxiety in general. It only worked because it was a change I genuinely wanted to make. I'm awkward and shy sometimes but that's just me. Just do your on thing and "fuck the haters" being yourself attracts others who are similar and people who aren't don't pay any mind to you : )
>>26301028 >Now working out is almost spiritual experience >Find a socially awkward guy at work, he is as old as me and was in the same uni! even went to highschool with first gf, he never even held hand with a girl >been around him since middle school. Always miss him because of his social anxiety >become friends with him, get him to work out and since we both have money we start travelling during vacations >he becomes better, soon he gets hobbies, meet girls at travels, he is no longer a KV. >ex bf of girl who fucked me up in uni was always kind of a chad, but he is nice, gets interested in my weird tastes, drops mainstream culture and hangs out with us >brotherhood with them heals my wounds from bad childhood, pussy comes and pussy goes, brothers are for ever >Finally decide to quit me glamorous job because I do not enjoy it >Give all money I saved to parents to help by a better house and pay loans >Apply for scholarship, get it, study abroad, full tuition and living expenses paid >throw goodbye party, a lot of people attend. >chads who bullied me in highschool had shit luck after, they did not build individual personality in highschool, instead were just normies who did what media told them, some became addicted, other have STDs. >Staicys who never gave me a chance also having it hard. >the most successful of them are still in the middle of their degrees >doesn't feel good, instead feel bad for them, hopefully they will all become doctors and lawyers and engineers, use connections to get the tech ones some interviews before I leave. >get others who are unemployed to work for my friends businesses >Everyone welcomed at my party, we celebrate until dawn .... LAST PART SOON...
>>26301738 >Two days later in new country. No connections or Money, still weird as fuck, not a chad. But very confident now. >Make new friends by insisting we do my weird stuff, if you are confident enough people will just follow you. >Meet some nice girls, its different now, not obsessing or becoming completely absorbed. Get simi serious with one. >Emotional connection makes sex amazing, it is like I am fucking the universe and loosing my ego simultaneously >moves away eventually, but now I can have healthy relationships with girls >since then been with african girls, Chinese, white, Middle easterns... >does not sleep half of the nights because research for school is so interesting that I work on half a dozen of projects even though I have funding from scholarship. >talk with parents and sister (sister always defended me from bullies when I was young) everyone is happy.
well, sorry for the rant, never wrote or told my story before. But what is my point from all this OP? Going full normie won't make anything better. Neither will holding a grudge. I ended up just doing what I enjoyed since childhood, and only became happy when I decided that fuck everyone. The lesson is not "BE YOURSELF" though, if my parents did not push me out of my comfort zone in middle school, or if I did not drop everything I have to start from nothing hundred of miles away I would still be miserable.
I just found my centre only when I forgave previous transgressions and followed my own path, not a robot, and not a normie. Just enthusiastic kid with high hopes and weird obsessions like I was 20 years ago.
>>26301823 Well, its completely subjective. Maybe my ego erased some of the bad memories to make me look good.
but you are right, I did not emphasise my failures. Well, then I will try to fix it. >Practically laughed out from the orchestra I worked at because too awkward, and made people cringe (everyone hated me) >I kept thinking everyone was normie scum, but missed the cool dude who later became my friend for years, thinking I had nothing to gain from associating with him, wanting to be friends with chads and stacies who disrespected me instead >friends said I was an asshole who made them feel bad and sometimes laughed at them. Hopefully did them more good than bad, still working on being nicer to my friends, but years of resentment might have made me too sarcastic.
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