As in, slasher movies. I watched loads of them during puberty and they shaped my sexuality to a huge degree I've only been able to realize in recent years with help from a therapist.
Sex is inextricably linked with fear and violence in my mind. The essence of fucking is the same as the essence of killing, penetration with a penis is penetration with a knife, etc.
A woman is at her most beautiful to me when scampering away, in something flimsy like panties and a tee, glancing over her shoulder now and again with wide, tearful eyes.
This is a big problem for me. I don't want to actually hurt anybody. You won't believe me after what I've said but I am a gentle person. I'm a contradiction I guess.
What I really want is a girl who, once or twice a month, would be willing to let me chase her through an abandoned building. I would be wearing an expensive, elaborate nightmare creature costume of my own design. She would be scantily clad and maybe splattered with some fake blood.
When I caught her I'd fuck her, but I wouldn't hurt her. I have no criminal record, I have never thrown a punch in anger, I catch spiders in my home and carefully put them outside.
I can get a date, but she always immediately leaves when I bring this up, even if we've been seeing each other for weeks or months. I guess it is a big red flag that I'm not safe to be around, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
I can't even say I don't know why I am like this, because I do. How do I find someone willing to indulge me?
I don't blame you for thinking so. But I have a personal theory that most paraphilias result from the crosswiring of two normal biological drives to form an abnormal one.
For example I think pedophilia results from confusion of the parental urge to nurture something small and cute, and sexuality.
I think in my case it's confusion between sexual instinct, and the instinct that used to drive us to pursue and kill prey animals.
It could just be influence from movies but unless you believe the Jack Thompsons of the world I don't think it's that simple. They probably did reinforce that paraphilia in me though
Would you be okay doing it without the costume? Maybe you could find a girl with a crazy rape fetish, chase her around the building with a knife or some shit, and pretend to rape her. Probably some kinky girls would like that. Maybe anyway, not that my virgin ass would know.
No, putting myself into the mindset of an inhuman creature is part of the enjoyment. I expect what women like about rape fantasies is being captured and dominated by something bigger and stronger, not knowing what it will do to them. That should not be disrupted by the addition of a little dressup.
It doesn't have to be too elaborate, just well done/authentic so I don't feel like some weird pervert in a halloween costume (which at the end of the day is what I'd be no matter what I suppose).
If I were dating you, it would be a huge red flag, but you would be able to convince me that you weren't dangerous though, because I got my fetishes from TV shows and, actually, we have a lot in common.
You're seeing a therapist, so that's good. Weird fetishes can definitely fuck shit up.
I'd ask for the following changes to your fantasy scenario:
>we build up to it with smaller roleplays bit by bit
>we choreograph the chase ahead of time so we eventually have a set location for the "rape" scene somewhere that works
>we collaborate to design your costume (I have a mask fetish but I'm picky as fuck about aesthetics)
>we develop a story about your monster/villain character and my victim character for future roleplay
That last part is partially because character development gets me off and partly because I think it would be worth trying to see if it can modify your fetish at all. I love horror movies but slasher movies are shit about having characters with depth and I want to know what it would do to your kink if you and your monster persona could more deeply empathize with the girl character.
Aftercare emphasis would be important too.
Also, honestly, the fact that you preferred slasher movies to other horror movies as a kid is a bigger red flag to me than anything else. I prefer monster movies.
Monster movies are higher quality horror, but slasher movies are inherently sexual. The whole formula of the genre consists of sexual symbology.
I'm down to develop backstory. I write horror, in part as an outlet for all this. I would also be happy to collaborate on the costume design, the only really necessary bit is that it be high quality and well made so I can take myself seriously while wearing it.
I've begun to wonder about the feasibility of buying land with an abandoned building on it. The last time I got a girl to try this was several years ago and one of the reasons she cut things off with me was the hassle of finding someplace to do it where we wouldn't be walked in on by urban explorers
This. You'd both want to make sure she knows that you're not some insane maniac serial killer, and find a way to modify your fetish so that it's more friendly towards what a lot of women would like.
If the costume is essential, maybe you could have a roleplay where you're some crazy serial rapist or serial killer who dresses up in your costume, and you chase her around and rape. That will be her point of view. And you just pretend to be a monster, maybe taking off the costume before sexy time (that might mess up the costume anyway).
You know, the best way might be for her to think of you as a guy in a costume, where you'd think of yourself as a monster, so that it's less weird for her.
Or something like that, maybe read up on common female fetishes and fantasies and see if you can integrate one into what you like.
>I expect what women like about rape fantasies is being captured and dominated by something bigger and stronger, not knowing what it will do to them
This is part of it, but another core element of most rape fantasies is that the "rapist" is desirable in some way. There has to be some sex appeal of the "rapist". Another angle of rape fantasies is that the victim wants to feel desired sexually and specifically, not "just another victim" but wanting to be the main focus of the attacker.
Work small rather than big. Start with just playing out rape in bed. Figure out the monster/villain's dialog and stuff. Work with just a room as a holding cell, etc.
You should see if you can develop a character with a compassionate side. I know that sounds like a crazy thing, but you might be able to move away from the vicious side of this fetish if you can make a sympathetic bad guy.
I got my rape fetish as a kid from a cartoon where I saw a guy beat up a young girl and it was really sexually charged. So at first my sexuality was fantasizing only about being the victim of violence. I was the one running away and crying in these fantasies. But I knew that was a shitty fantasy to have, that it would fuck me up down the road, so I started trying to angle things differently and imagine more conversations and empathy between the attacker and victim, and now I can enjoy a huge range of things from violent rape to cuddly things. I think you should try the same thing since we have kind of opposite sides fetishes from childhood.
No matter what though, I prefer stories that end well to stories that end sadly, even in roleplay.
probably better off going on tinder and the like where the casual sex whores hang out
but I dunno that's just me
on a purely safety note, running through an abandoned building, especially if the girl is scantily clad and not wearing any footwear, could result in injuries
I always figured there were people in your shoes but you are the first one I've seen admitting it. No one wants to admit to violent fetishes, I think, and I'm glad that anonymity gives us that. I've done a lot of roleplaying with my partner in a mask and stuff and we came up with a lot of good dialog for those kinds of rape scenes.
A lot of movies have that scene where the victim says something like "Why are you doing this?" And so often the answer is some variant of "Because I can" and while that is a great answer for horror it just doesn't work well for bridging the gap into other genres. See if you can get into the head of a villain who would have some other emotion-based answer like, "Because I am angry" or "because it's the only way I feel alive" and how they might change and develop if someone were able to help them. Too often the villains in horror were some kind of victim originally. I imagine most of them need healing.
I was thinking about this while waiting for your reply, sorry I keep typing books here.
>on a purely safety note, running through an abandoned building, especially if the girl is scantily clad and not wearing any footwear, could result in injuries
Yeah, I was thinking this too. That was why I was thinking he should choreograph it out if he can. Set up places for safe falls and stuff. I think it would take a lot of prep work though.
dude this sounds fucking hot i want to do it. when you do 'catch' me i would even want you to do light whipping and mild abuse while we fuck. i have zero mental illness im just very very kinky.
>I expect what women like about rape fantasies is being captured and dominated by something bigger and stronger, not knowing what it will do to them
Only has long has what he does turns out to be exactly what she wanted him to do, ie give her amazing orgasms and pleasurable sex and declare his undying love and devotion to her by the end. That's women's rape fantasies.
You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content). You have been muted for 4 seconds, because your comment was not original. You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original. I fucking hate you robot!
OP I have a very similar fetish to yours. I've been able to act mine out with a couple of different people, but only for the following reasons:
1. I established from the very beginning of the relationship that I was a non-threatening and non-violent person who had extreme control over my desires and impulses
2. I waited until we had been together for months or years before even suggesting something that would build up to the fetish, and only did so when I was certain that they trusted me and wanted to do what would make us both happy
3. I built up to revealing my fetish, by starting with rough sex play and more vanilla things, gradually making them into more and more of a masochist. I also exposed them to a lot of violent media that I enjoy, to hopefully show them the appeal of sexual violence
4. When I finally told them about my fetish and asked them if they would help me make it a reality, I heavily emphasized that I would only do it if they were completely comfortable, it would be on their terms, and that if they didn't want to do it we could stop at any time and I would never bring it up again. Although I did have a very specific scenario planned out in my mind, I never revealed the details to them, I made it appear as if they were the one choreographing the whole thing. Giving them the illusion of control is very important, they will be far less likely to panic if you do so.
5. When we actually got into it for the first time, I took things VERY, VERY, VERY slowly. I never surprised them or made them feel like I had lost control. It's mandatory that they feel as if you have complete discipline over your actions and that everything you do is carefully planned out and executed. If they think for even an instant that you're a crazed sadist trying to get off at their expense, they will go running so fast you'll never even get the chance to see them go. I know this from experience, it's horrible.
Having said all of that, this is a very difficult fetish to act out with a willing partner, and you can expect to have some failures before you find a good match. Harden yourself, and plan for this, so that when it does happen you aren't as hurt as you could be otherwise.
If you have any questions, just let me know. I know how hard it is to deal with this fetish, and it's really good to hear that you've had some therapy to help you understand it better.
If there were a meetup you know it would be a sausage party. But since we came all that way we'd chase each other around the abandoned building in our monster costumes anyway.
Then some normal sane person would stumble across us with a flashlight, we'd freeze like deers in the headlights unsure how to explain ourselves. Then suddenly
>"...WE DID THE MASH! WE DID THE MONSTER MASH"
>you will never roleplay that you are being chased by a variety of monster people
>they will never catch you and do lewd things
>aftercare will never be a monster cuddle puddle and the monster mash
>As in, slasher movies. I watched loads of them during puberty and they shaped my sexuality to a huge degree I've only been able to realize in recent years with help from a therapist.
>help from a therapist.
How does it feel knowing you're in several watchlists senpai?
That sounds like a hoot.
Unfortunately, I'm a grizzly looking ogress and bound to a relationship that will last until I die.
But I think plenty of broads would do it, just find one into roleplay.
Be careful and prospect any abandoned buildings, those can end up a lot more dangerous than a masked slasher. Before any rumpus, check for water damage or anything that would fuck with structural integrity, make a layout of "safe" areas, and make sure she knows where they are as well.
I actually have a lot of experience urban exploring and am no stranger to derelict/abandoned/dangerous old buildings. I think multiple people ITT already cautioned OP about the dangers of doing something like this without proper research.
I know jack shit about this but aren't there specialized fetish dating sites?
This would pre-screen your dates, and you wouldn't risk Stacy thinking you'll go axe murderer on her.
There are fetish dating sites, but they do not pre-screen users and there is no guarantee that you won't get catfished. I've used them a couple of times and EVERY SINGLE TIME the person chickened out and just wanted to get normal sex. A lot of people use those sites thinking it's an easy way to get laid and don't really want anything to do with fetishes. It's pretty shit for anything other than discussion, desu.
not op but I'm in the same boat as him, and while it may sound like a load of horseshit it definitely is not. there are plenty of legitimate sadists out there, and it only makes sense for people at the more extreme end of the fetish to sexualize homicide, stabbing, asphyxiation, electrocution, drowning, etc. When there are people out there who can find literal shit sexually attractive I don't see why it's so hard to believe that someone could be aroused by such an intimate, intense, physical experience as murder.
I posted earlier in the thread as having had the complementary fetish as OP where when I was young my sexuality was fucked up such that I could only get off to the idea of being viciously beaten.
If as a kid you accidentally connect fear and arousal, it's really hard to disconnect them. I can now that I am an adult, but it's really hard still and my gut instinct will always be to connect violence to sex. I think it's the same for OP.
I was just thinking about the link between sex and violence.
What you feel is your violent nature is just your primal side, slasher movies just made you understand that you HAVE one.
Primal hunter. Thats what the sex fetish is oficially called.
I have it too, OP.