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What keeps you going in life?
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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What keeps you going in life?
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>>26284883
That's a good fucking question. I really don't know how I'm still up walking around. It amazes me every day how functional I am. I'm probably going to hit a sudden point where everything just crumbles.
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The blind hope that it will get better.
The knowledge that I'm intelligent, moderately attractive, and of good kind, but I'm too much of a weak, depressed shitbag to use any of it.
The fact that even I've began to notice the stagnation in my life and I'm instinctually thirsting for change.
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the weird elevated feeling i get when doing something i actually enjoy and the hope that something will change
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Primal instincts.
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>>26284883
An inability to an-hero.

Also, Dota 2.
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>>26284883
Stuck on a fucking IT course
shit just started and I am really scared
looks like a bootcamp (very hard) or something, really easy to lose yourself in the way
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I still enjoy things and am working towards some kind of future.
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I live for drugs, OP.
Without them, I would be dead by now.
It's funny how something so harmful can be so beneficial
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>>26284883
Obligations for the most part. The other portion is what little hope I have left for the future and that eventually my "Misaki" will find me, i.e. a girl who just comes out of the blue, more or less saves me from myself, and makes life worth living in the end.

It's bad though, I've been planning on killing myself every weekend for the past month or so and have never been able to do it because something comes up that I can't just drop out of all of sudden without giving a good reason, certainly can tell them, "No thanks, I was planning on killing myself today."
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I live for escapism, playing vidya. lately my only hope is VR escapism.
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inner peace, faith and joy and a hope for a better tomorrow
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Trump becoming president.
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The hope that one day I'll be able to fly military aircraft just like I've always wanted.
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I don't know, I won't kill myself because that would be letting the normies win. But most of you have something to appreciate, I don't.
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I'm not always going. Sometimes I stop. I'm lucky to have gotten out of some jams, and to have had employers not fire me for slacking or being disrespectful.
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>>26285507
VR will be a locked up platform and all the software will be developed by normies.

Enjoy your life.
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I don't want my death to be a burden on my parents. That's pretty much the only reason, same as a lot of people here.
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>>26284883
My dreams mostly.
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I'm not going to suicide because I want to see just how bad it gets.
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>>26285656
this, I'm already in the rabbit hole I might as well fall to the bottom.
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>>26284883
https://youtu.be/MTb_VesmiZg
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Not fat, but FOOD
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>>26285690
>the humid atmosphere of dog food in that cup

i could puke
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>>26284883
The embarrassment of having my bloated corpse found by a random person
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Fun, obviously. It's what I'm always after.
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>>26285736
that's not actually an excuse because your bloated corpse just won't give a shit and the corpse you currently inhabit isn't much better
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Video games and masturbating some many times a day that o enf up smelling like cum. This somehow has kept me going for the past 4 months I barely eat much due to cavities so I have not enough energy to think properly of myself anymore. I might be broken.
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>>26284883
a sustained hatred for those who have wronged me

i want to see the day that their marriages falter, when their kids abandon them, when their prestigious jobs are taken away from them, when everything comes tumbling down

oh and money, my dog, and the dream of buying an island with said money and living like a hermit on my island living a self sustaining life

the world can burn for all i care
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>>26285354
>I can't just drop out of all of sudden without giving a good reason

That's exactly what suicide is fucking moron, if you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldnt let societal "obligations" get in the way. Face it, you don't have the balls.
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>>26285085
Ayy same here Family. Dota 2 is a great mind number
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>>26284883
One piece I guess.
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nobody i know can afford any arrangements for my corpse
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redemption maybe
im not sure
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>>26284883
Honestly, nothing.
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Smash Bros
Samurai Jack is coming back
The Strawhats haven't found One Piece yet
I haven't gotten laid yet.
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>>26284883
DNA addiction. Same as everyone else
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I'm in love with a person who I'm very desperately hoping returns my feelings at some point. It's been about 3 years or so now, I'm sure it'll happen soon.
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>>26284883
Religious beliefs.
that's the only thing preventing me from killing myself.
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>>26285240
and yet that is no less valid than living for your family or your goals or nature or anything because when it gets right down to it everyone who fails to commit suicide is a DNA junkie
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>>26286052
Imagine discovering death is actually really good
all this time wasted being alive
I'm actually afraid of this shit happening
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What keeps me going?

I can't take the pointlessness of existence seriously enough to give up. I just do, because my time isn't that valuable, might as well get something done. Keep pushing through law school, then go ahead and try making lots of money. Then see how I can do in politics. Maybe open a school along the way. Whatever, as long as i'm keeping busy and not being repetitive.
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>>26286005

Don't think it's going to work out. Feelings kept hidden are never reciprocated.
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>be me
>live life just to watch anime/play vidya
>thats all i do
>too scared to force death
>but willing to accept it if I am faced with it.
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my gf is the only reason why I'm trying at all at anything.
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>>26286120
There are plenty of reasons right now why my feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. First of all, I only know him online so there's absolutely no reason for him to feel the same way as me. I intend to move there at some point but I am really badly off economically, so I can't even do that. We talk often but he seems to care about other hobbies more and doesn't mind ignoring me when he's not interested in whatever I'm saying.

All I can really hope for is to eventually end up financially stable so I can move there and actually have a chance at making him feel the same way as I do.
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>>26286091
Why would it even matter
If there is a heaven, good you have the eternity to enjoy it.
If there is nothing, good. You won't feel shit.
If there is a hell or purgatory, then that's when I worry.
Or whatever you believe in.
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>>26286178
Purgatory is okay. The existence ell would not make any sense at all (as in it means god is a total douche) but that's still a fucking scary idea.
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Pure, naive, unrealistic hope.
I hope the future will hold my dreams.
I hope that, despite my anger and depression, I'll be happy.
I hope that I'll find a girl who loves me, and who I can love just as much.
I hope to have good friends.
I hope to be successful.
I hope for a nice comfortable house.
I hope that i'll be able to stop the pain, the self-loathing, the confusion.
I hope that I can control my fear.
I hope that one day, I won't push people away.
I wake up every day, and I hope. And I wake up every day.
>>
Sunk cost fallacy basically. I know that there's nothing I can achieve in life anymore, and it's way past the point of no return, yet I'm an irrational retard who just doesn't want to cut his losses.

I keep telling myself "soon"...
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>>26284883
My fear of death.
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>>26286246
completely
it's overkill
an infinite punishment for finite mistakes/sins?
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My life just fell apart and I'm getting kicked out and written out of a substantial will. I've been as high as one can go, and now I'm going to be essentially homeless. I'm going to buy a ticket to France and see if I can't join the French Foreign Legion. I'm pretty fit and speak some french so maybe I'll have a shot
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>>26286273
underated post

smack dabed me right in the feels
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I just want to try every drug at least once and see if something makes me fulfilled
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>>26286315
How are you afraid of death? What the fuck is wrong with you stupid cunts?
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I unable to properly conceptualize how miserable I will be for the rest of my life.
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>>26286273
I waited 12 years for that, since I was 15.
I gave up all hope since then, now being a wizard at 30.
I wanted the "it gets better" meem to be true, but it really isn't. At least not for me.
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>>26286449
Thanks friend. Here, have this thing I made. It's at least 20% original.
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>>26286273
The worst thing is when you start doubting any of these things will really make you happy
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Because I always tell myself she'll leave her husband and come back to me
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>>26284883
I thought of this question several times and I always can't find a proper answer.
It's probably a mixture of hope and fear. I hope my future will be much better than being homeless and socially retarded living each day with my head hung low. I fear for the future that I continue this life; this deplorable existence of mine that kills me slowly.
Though I also suppose its a bit of anger and resentment that has no where to go so I channel it towards what I wish to attain. I might always be an outcast, a misfit among misfits, but I hope that even I can attain a sliver of the sublime.
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>>26286738
They would make me happy instantly if they just happened now out of the blue. The problem is that I'm too old to start working on them and still have any benefit at a reasonable age. So there's nothing to do really, just sit and wait for the end of the reel.
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>>26286780
The idea of having to make everything happen in order to be happy is really scary to me
I know the way
But I got no energy, no conviction and no motivation
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Like the other anon said VR. I don't even care about the games so much as the prospects for 3d internet/chatrooms
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>>26286388
Good luck m8. Go kill some towl heads for us
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>>26286813
Then give all your money and possessions and privilege to me, so I can make it happen for me, you obviously don't deserve anything.
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Maybe there will be a new hot anime out and you will miss it.
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>>26286843
dude, you have a lot more than I do, I assure you
not my fault being spoiled
laziness really makes things impossible
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>>26286849
Exactly this. It really fucks with me that I will literally not be able to keep up with the new games/anime. Probably more than anything else. There will be so many sequels and one day I won't be able to see them, ever again.
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>>26286849
Oh yeah and this. I just remembered I can't kill myself until pic related airs.
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>>26286866
>dude, you have a lot more than I do, I assure you
I'm sure I do, being from a country with a $300/month average wage.
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>>26286904
yeah try 225$ minimum wage
and I'm simply tired
I fucked up beyond repair
why even trying?
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Inability to gain courage to kill self

Inability to kill in a way that looks like an accident

Don't want to make family upset so I just go with the daily routine until I die

I'm just so tired.
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I haven't written a book yet. well, not a coherent polished one.

>>26285626
and this.
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>>26285626
Basically this. I know my mom will probably become a fucking alcoholic and drink herself to death if she knew I killed myself
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>>26284883
Programming, school, band friends, worldbuilding, and this one shy girl that sits behind me in my stats class. Some days I question the point of life, but suicide is fucking stupid. You're all going to die anyway, why not see how it pans out?
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>>26286327
>mfw christian Grandmother defers the problem to being about how satan corrupts people
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What keeps me going?
Is it the dopamine? No.
Is it the dysphoria? No.
Is it the copious amounts of deleriants and social isolation? Perhaps.

I've slipped somehow or other into states of consciousness where I see the apparent disintegration and disorganization of everyday life as the functioning of a totality, which at its level, is completely harmonious.
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>>26284883
Football. I don't want to live during the offseason.

>rise up
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>>26287355
rise up senpai, I want to see the Falcons win a super bowl before I shoot myself in the face
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>>26287355
>>26287377
YOUR FACE WHEN DA BEARS WIN DA SUPERB OWL
VERY ORIGINAL COMMENT RIGHT HERE
>>
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porn
i love porn. 99% 2D. I probably like doujins more than anime and manga. The nips are gods. i don't even need real sex at this point. i have everything i could ever want and more.
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>>26287457
This. I pretty much only fap to 2d on gelb and sometimes furshit on inkbunny at this point 3d is just gross.
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I want to see technology evolve.
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>>26287355
Who /nfl/ here? Show yourselves you fucking faggots.
>>
Escapism I suppose. Right now I have no future except for homelessness. I expect my life will be the same as my fathers, working hard at shit jobs to barely support my existence and drinking heavily to get through it.

I want to be good at something and I want to destroy other people and get to the top of the pile but I have nothing and working within life's little systems makes it all pointless.
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>>26287507
allah who fucking ockbear'd

if manning doesn't win this we should invite him to become a robot during his retirement
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Because i want to see my life get better. I dont wanna die a coward
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I'm too scared to kill myself
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>>26284973
Hello me

I don't know whats worse. To have the potential and not be able to meet it or to never have had potential at all
>>
Im scared of what happens after death
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Hanging out with my mates and fucking around and just having a goof time. Fuck after a long week kickin back with the boys is the best
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Just enjoying life in general. Learning is pretty fun. Idk man too many things I enjoy to even begin jotting them down

>implying falling for the depressed meme isn't as normie as it gets.
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I just don't wanna make my mom cry again.
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The irrational and desperate hope that at some point life will get better + killing myself would destroy my parents
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The little Hope that everything will get better...
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>>26284883
This thing called posting feelpix, OC and memes.
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>>26284883
loads and loads of memes, my man.
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I have no reason to live at this point waking up is just a Reflex.

I have no hope and no dreams. But I really wished I had something to live for because then I might actually get the will to improve.
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The hope that one day i might find someone (preferably a gf) who would love me for who i am rather than the stoic normie i pretend to be
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inertia

I don't really have any motivation apart from a vague realization that I need to continue doing things to make my future not be horrible.

>>26286717
anon you should stop making things that hurt online strangers
>>
I have one dream to strive for, and I won't rest until it's permanently out of my reach.
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>>26284973
you've described r9k
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>>26284883
the structure of time

> wake up
> 12hrs to live
> meals break up that time into 3
> feels get worst at evenings when im woken up
> then i go to sleep
> and it begins again

i hate everyday, but 12hrs is just enough to blow on r9k then it all starts again
>>
my sempai
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>>26284883
The prospect of power and money.

...and, accordingly, the prospect of vengeance.
>>
>>26284883
Beer and anime.
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My new pc and masturbating to hentai.

tfw most people my age are getting married and having kids.
>>
If there's an afterlife, I probably won't be going to the good place. If there's no afterlife, then there's nothing. That scares me more than hell.
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>>26284883

curiosity mostly, i want to know how my story unfolds, even if it sucks.
>>
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>>26291279
Oh boy you're in for a ride
>>
>ITT: All these people with all this hope and potential, these people with a dull sense of life and a positive enough attitude just waiting for the catalyst that jump starts the rest of their lives

Some of you are going to have it happen. Just like in your Japanese animes, something is going to fall out of the sky and get your ball rolling. You'll probably bitch and moan just as you do now.

Maybe everyone is like this to an extent. Just living their routine and doing things because they're supposed to or it's all they know to do.
Some people don't seem to think beyond this, after all this is what animals were meant to do: just survive and try to reproduce.

But some of you are so god damn thirsty for anything else because your routine and lives suck. How much worse could your situations really get? What will you have to lose if life finally pushes you in a new direction?

That fact that most of us won't make it is tragic. The fact that some of you might make it is beautiful.

God damn am I drunk.
>>
My dream and the one and only thing on this planet that I truly love.
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>>26284973
:( dem feels when people like you are out there.
If your going through hell, keep going bro.
>>
>>26291316
> What will you have to lose
bugs me when people say this because the mind isn't some logical calculator - it operates on fear.. and even if you're at rock bottom you're still scared
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>>26284883
Taking drugs, basically. You can always go deeper with psychedelics. It keeps you occupied for a while.
>>
Reading books, watching films, taking drugs

Also curiosity. I just want to see what happens in 50 years
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>>26291495
Maybe my mind just works differently then. My knee-jerk reaction is as fear-based as yours but after a few seconds I consider the outcomes and decide which choice is the optimal one.
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>>26287457
>99%
Are you me?

I even wrote an OS X app for organizing my 500GB doujin collection.
>>
>>26287484
>>26287457
>tfw never really got into "real" porn because it seems too graphic and knowing they're just really bad actors kind of kills the mood
>>
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Hate.

Fate itself wants me dead, but I'm not going down without a fight.
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>>26284883
original cowardice
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>>26284883
I'm not going i'm stuck.
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>>26284973
are you me?
I know nothing will change if I don't too, but I don't
>>
Inertia, I don't even need gas to drive a car nowadays I think
Also Chinese cartoons
>>
the fear of death

that's literally it, I consider myself a literal dead man walking already, but I just can't help but shit myself at the thought of dying

I've been dead inside for ~4 years now if I know that's there's no eternal blackness or fiery hell awaiting me, I would put the shotgun in my closet in my mouth right. fucking. now.
>>
>>26292532
\thread

I feel the same way anon. plus ptsd and shit
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