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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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You describe your /Cyborg/ life

(original autobiography)
>wake up
>bunch of uneventful shit
>go to sleep
>every now and then a girl smiles at you
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>have friends
>stopped going out on weekends because friends always abandon you while you're drunk
>have female friends
>they all consider you as a "friend" and are grossed out when something romantic comes up between you two
>tfw you stopped trying to get a gf because you already know she has a bf and/or will look at you as a friend
Fuck off, failed normies

Im tolerated not welcome
Im the only virgin from the group of my friends
I spend 95% of my free time on computer
>doing well in school
>a few good friends
>internship at a great company
>loving girlfriend
>basically everything I could want
And yet
>still have crippling anxiety disorder
>still want to die
what I wanted to hear

I do not sympathize with you. If you have a girlfriend, you do not have crippling anxiety you lying shithead.

And if you want to die, then fine that's bad. But how do you still put in enough effort to do well in school and have a good internship if you want to die.

Fuck off.
>have a job
>in school
>work out so a few looks here and there
>still an undesireable so avoid a lot of social get togethers and whatnot, despite being invited to bars, clubs, and parties by coworkers

i act like a normie at work, laugh and joke and shit. when in reality, im a shutin who's scared to go to bars and parties because im boring and terrified of getting rejected by every girl possible.
Constantly pumping happy chemicals into my brain. Not too bad of a life desu.
Do I count as a cyborg or a normie?
I fit all the usual criteria except I have a fat ugly girl who is essentially my cock slave. She'll do whatever the fuck I want no questions asked and swallow with a smile. If I wake up in the middle of the night with wood, I'll wake her up to take care of it.

I don't want her as a gf though because she's ugly. (Don't mind the fat part)
I took this way too literal.
>have friends
>go out dancing
>I actually go for the dancing part and I get fucking angry at my friends for leaving me there to pick up girls
Well, I started having panic attacks when I was in 2nd grade, other symptoms of an anxiety disorder started in middle school, like insomnia that kept me up until 3, 4 am every night.

The thing was, my dad has an anxiety disorder too, so my parents taught me how to deal with it really well and I have good coping skills. I started therapy and a sertraline prescription my senior year.

I'm an honors student and all that shit and I'm legitimately good at what I do. So that's how I got the job.

My girlfriend is also an honors student, we met in honors dorms, she has similar, less severe problems, and her brothers are both worse than me. So she understands my issues.

The thing that wrecks me is that even though the therapy and drugs helps a lot, it will never go away. For the rat of my life I'll be dependant on a pill that I have to take every day. I know that if I have kids they will almost certainly have the same issues as me.

And it makes me want to kill myself
>spend all day doing nothing, drawing or working
>extremely lonely all the time
>have one friend
>B-but at least I'm fit and can make eye contact r-right
that's a beginning
>bunch of close friends, lots of acquantances
>possible job/internship at company
>3dcg hobby

>socially anxious and awkward, but I fight it
>no gf
>Was chad tier in my early teenage years
>Had a huge fall in my 18-22 where i got fatter and uglier
>Now slowly recovering power and getting back into the normalization quest
>Starting to get those normie spoils and rewards again

There's no fucking stopping me now
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this so much.
>normies thinking they are edgy
They no nothing, scumbags
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>Moved to new city for work
>old friend-circle in hometown fell apart, got nothing to return
>Slowly building up my new life, I now have friends that allow me to sometimes get out and get drunk
>Met a girl in december last year, we hit it off good (had sex, cuddles, etc.) and I thought I was really onto something
>She no longer seems interested
>I was out with a friend yesterday and had a lot of fun, but the rest of the weekend will be spent solo
>I think the girl is out at a party right now
>Another guy who I know is interested in her may or may not be there

Give it a few months, and it'll be another girl. And the cycle will probably repeat.
>hanging with friends
>they're all drinking and playing 'never have i ever'
>most of them are all sex shit
>i remain silent the entire time
>have normie friends
>never really close.
>they do some soft bullshit at uni
>I'm doing engineering.
>one good female friend i have a crush on
>she likes anime and dark humour too

>Obsessed chubby girl friend i fucked once
>be me
>surprisingly have had a few girlfriends and currently have a good social life despite my looks
I used to be like that first months in my job. I was pretty popular, females gave me often compliments about personality or my looks, but it started very tiresome for me to pretending all that shit others liked on me. Todays, every gives a shit about me and only talk to me about professional-job stuff.

>just fuck my shit up
*everybody gives a shit
>somewhat attractive 6/10
>had friends in the past but don't socialize anymore because I prefer being alone
>long distance gf
>studying medicine
>parents and gf think it's weird that I don't have friends despite being completely capable of making some
>spend all my time studying, vidya, and getting high

Life is okay as a cyborg
You can't have a girlfriend and anxiety at the same time? Are you retarded?

Panic attacks aren't real you dumb baby.
>wake up at 2 pm
>most days just stay in dorm shitposting or playing guitar all day until night drinking
>only leave to eat- get stared at because i look like a chad until anybody talks to me
>once or twice a month see a "Friend" to "hangout"- try to fight anxiety
>literally no other social contact outside internet

once hooked up a whale i met through a friend... she assumed i was a "player" and had slept with plenty of girls before. nope- first time at 20

>tfw can't fit in with traditionally nerdy kids and they get weirded out when i try to talk with them
>tfw too autismo and not into their shit to hang out with "cool kid" chads etc
>tfw can't connect with misfit druggies
>tfw too normal for r9k and none of you want me here
Could just be someone who got really lucky
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>in college
>classmates talk to me and don't hate me
>talk with both frat dudes and the GDIs
>girls check me out because I'm kind of attractive
>have friends I hang out with at least once a week
>have a gf
>generally considered a likable dude

>still have major lack in confidence
>tobacco addiction (snus though so not bad at all)
>occasionally pull aspie shit
>horrible sleep schedule
>make acquaintances not friends
>having gf means I cant hit on short asian qt in my class
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neet mtf with moderately severe mental illness, pretty content getting wasted every night on vodka though
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> lost virginity at 20
> kissed over 30(?) girls at parties
> had 4 gfs, fucked 4 girls
> usually popular

> always anxiety
> depression last few years (yes diagnosed)
> dropout
> cant drive, no job ever
> live at parents
> 25yrs old
> no hope/given up

at least robots still have hope for relationships/sex/friends somehow changing their life, when you've had it and still unfulfilled you give up hope and your fantasies die
>Have 3 close friends who I know from different places so my only socializing is seeing one of them now and again
>have a psudo-friend at uni I meet up with perhaps twice a term
>absolutely terrified of failing assignments, deadlines, going to lectures, talking to people, not talking to people
>regularly have mini breakdowns where I avoid all human contact and ignore all my work
>just about get by with counselling, CBT, and parental support

But thanks to CBT I realize the above problems are me focusing on the negative, and they're solvable if I calm myself down and stick with them.

It must be weird being chad-looking but still a sperg. Then again there are lots of good looking psychos and weirdos, they get by alright by faking it.
>occasionally get laid
>found the love of my life
>had to say goodbye to her for now
>sad to the bone
Dude are you me? This is too fucking weird. Literally me.
Starfire > Raven

fuck the dalai lama. that fucking sell out.
>had a GF
>got a job
>lost GF
>no friends
>when I'm not at work I'm at home playing vidya
>been this way for 2 years now
Feels lonely
that sounds wonderful, only replace "vidya" with literature
How did he sell out?

I can see how him courting western media is controversial but he is always promoting buddhist ideals and tibetan issues.
>wake up
>go to class
>go to work
>shower and eat
>watch netflix for a few hours
>go to sleep
Its pretty uneventful
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>Tfw 25, had one gf or another since I was 17 but they were all but one fat abusive roasties who fucked my life up
>Tfw fell for the college meme but no debt so back to square one
>Tfw NEET for a few years but now work retail so I've finally developed social skills and can talk to strangers without sweating
>Tfw have a fringe internet life that I've never reconciled with my personal life so I have a lot of friends but nobody really knows me and they'd probably hate me if they did

Feels... okay but kinda empty, man.
sold his country to the chinks
Huh? The Chinese hate him and he's always advocated Tibetan autonomy.
>only two friends are off at college, so im stuck here doing nothing
>no social life since they left 4 years ago
>only interaction with other humans is at work
>all fucking roasties and normies
>2 female friends that are definitely not gf material
>severe anxiety, most likely on the spectrum too
Wish i could just never leave my room
>Wake up at 6.30
>Drive 45 minutes through traffic to work
>Spend first 15 minutes on toilet
>Go to work area
>Greet all the geezers with a friendly "you alright mate" as a walk past
>Die a little inside each time
>Quietly get on with my stuff, avoiding all the sports idiots so i dont have to have shitty small talk, until lunch
>Take extra long long
>Do as litttle as I can until 5.30 when i take another 45 minute drive home
>browse 4chan till bed

>almost everyday wake up at 11 am
>no friends on college
>only friends I got are guys from my hs
>once a week I go out with them
>got female friends
>all of them already got a boyfriend
>I am waiting for a day when one of them gonna break up so I will be able to get gf
No. He's banished but he gave up on autonomy and even wants Tibet to remove the Dalai Lama tradition. Fuck him, fuck you, fuck the Chinese.
>manlet 5,8
>handsome face
>go to gym
>have friends
>finishing school
>random mostly drunk sex like 5x a year
>never had gf
>people like me
>i dont like them
>played more vidya and browsed more chan than most

That is what makes me a cyborg. I've spent more time on the computer than any of you.
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>somehow not a total retard
>have managed to rope in at least one girl per year since I was 19
>tfw I'm 29 and still live at home but occasionally get my wiener swallowed by a qt3.14

I'm really not sure how you guys survived never getting a woman.
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>Second university year
>People doesn't dislike me, but neither they invite me to hang out
>Low social skills, but I manage to talk to strangers
>Good marks
>Had a girlfriend once, but she dropt me beacuse I started to feel depressed
>Still having troubles with my anxiety and depression
>Still living with my parents
>No car
>Tabacco addiction and failed hikikomori

It doesn't look that bad... really...
Drugs. A lot of them.
>He's banished but he gave up on autonomy
No he hasn't, he says he can accept Tibet being politically part of China but that it needs autonomy.

>wants Tibet to remove the Dalai Lama tradition
In terms of political power, he wants a democracy in its place, that's totally at odds with the Chinese. As for him considering not reincarnating, that's actually a big "fuck you" to the Chinese because they want one chosen from inside China, where they'll have a hand in the process. If the Dalai Lama himself says he's not reincarnating that's shitting on China's plan.
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>23 years old kissless hugless touchless virgin
>live on my own
>no friends because my only high school friend decided he doesn't want to see me again in real life for some reason, but refuses to even acknowledge this, or tell me why
>5 years of doing a stem BSc and still didn't finish
>I spend most of my life in front of my computer
>if I'm not in my room I'm at the uni where I know literally 0 people, or I'm at the gym because I fell for the /fit/ meme
>sometimes I get wicked drunk alone with cheap bourbon
>my life is empty and cold
I feel so lonely
it hurts so much
I've managed to get a date once in my 23 years, and the girl left in the middle of it, because she didn't like me
again, he has abdicated autonomy and is emphasizing preservation of tibetan culture. he wants a join chinese-tibetan government and he's a fucking fool for it.

the second part of what you say doesn't even make sense because he could simply say "i'm not reincarnating in china as a chinese person. i'm reincarnating as a tibetan." he can choose the conditions of his reincarnation. again, fuck this guy.
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>Finally got a gf
>She came over last night, wanted to have sex
>I got out of it by saying I wanted to wait until Valentine's Day
>Now need to explain to her that I'm a 26 year old virgin
>did great in school until high school started
>have a few friends
>decent relationship with family
>was asked out once
>not that ugly

>only 1 of those few friends talks to me fairly often
>never had a gf
>literal autism, never know what to do in social situations
>thought i was smart until high school, everything went downhill
>could feel my parents' disappointment since
>constantly tired
>rarely happy, sometimes go a few days feeling nothing but boredom and sadness
>future looks bleak, will likely kill myself at some point

feels bad man. could be worse though
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>Be Vietnamese
>Working on getting into college
>Stable well paying (surprisingly) job at restaurant
>Have a group of 3 other childhood friends that I hang out and play vidya with regularly like in my Chinese cartoons
>Don't give a fuck about many things, people can't piss me off easily
>I'm actually a pretty good writer and speaker
>I hate small talk
>I can converse with strangers but have a hard time continuing conversation
>Always tell myself I'm gonna speak to that QT Asian girl I see but I never do
>I scare off normies with my nationalistic and conservative ideas
>People call me Asian Hitler
>I'm always forgotten about in large groups
>23 y/o
>back in school after being NEET for 2 years
>bullshit degree though
>started Uber driving
>finally lost my virginity a month a ago, and have been fucking her weekly
>doing well in school so far

Everything is going well for me, but I still feel just as empty inside as when I was NEET. I need to accept that the rest of my life is going to be just as empty.
I'm basically a fucking wageslave and nothing more
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>friend calls me to go to work meeylting with him at our job
>go and talk to some people
>get back the the car and smoke weed
>we hit his pipe and suddenly cops show up
>get a tresspass charge and a fine
>walk home in the cold
>tomorrow is friends birthday
>getting drunk af later in the evening at a club in the city
>In school
>doing ok 3.2 gpa
>have friends
>dont do much with them outside of school
>Im popular, but only because Im basically a living meme
>its gotten to the point where Im seen as more of a joke than a person
>since no girls take me seriously no gf
>except for one, but when I was most vulnerable she abandoned me out of the blue
>now Im here, doing nothing but school, vidya, anime, and browsing the board
guys ive got a question

what would you guys do if one of your best online friends disappeared?

i met this one internet friend like 2.5 years ago and we have gotten close but i dont wanna stay online for forever and he was saying stuff like "sometimes i worry about you, dont ever commit suicide" and i told him i havent ever been suicidal, but if i went offline for forever do you think that he would try to call my house or some shit? that would suck, ive been offline for like 2 months before and nothing happened, i was offline for 3 weeks one time too and he was just like "WHERE have u been?" and asked if i was depressed

would i be a dick if i just went offline forever? and would anything happen you think?
>online friends


Cyborg theme song reporting in
>wake up, tired
> get breakfast, tired
> go to class, tired
> go to lunch, tired
> go to class again, still tired
> go to work, tired
> go to dinner, tired
> go home and shitpost, tired
> go to bed
> wake up and start all over again
>kid nigger


What kind of fedora are you toting tonight?
>wake up at 5pm
>do nothing
>barely eat because no money
>watch a movie or play some vidya until 7 or 8 am
>go to sleep

I'm on vacation otherwise I would be awake all night, then go to uni and sleep from 3pm to 1am
Are you actually literally me?
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> three coworkers leave within the same week

Making friends at work is suffering.
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>have friends
Fucking hell, this triggers an angry, visceral reaction within me. For all intents and purposes I am a cyborg but I have no fucking friends and I can't seem to get any. I'm such a fucking faggot.
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Okay, having anxiety and being suicidal doesn't make you a robot, it just makes you a normie with issues, get lost.
Why you guys all so sad?

>Hooked up my Amiga Commodore A500
>Got a Reference guide for Motorolla 6800 processor
>Booted up that bad-boy with Kickstart 1.3 and Workbench.
>Started reading the 500 page technical reference guide to understand the bit-mappings of peripherals
>Switch over to my "main" computer, Intel Processor x86_64 architecture.
>Boot up FASM and keep working on my Roguelike engine to play sweet command-prompt games
>Bed time, dream of extensible object-orientated coding languages
>Work for some small-time manufacturer of embedded systems
>Write me some delicious C# on that framework, and solve problems all day.

My life is literally the construction and organization of text files that both humans and computers can read. It's great.
>I'm really not sure how you guys survived never getting a woman.

Masturbation and also realizing that getting your cummies isn't the apex of human experience.
ok. what is the apex of your experience?
I like to read, listen to music, play music, write, go on walks, contemplate things.

These are all creative, productive, and profoundly human things to do. If the best thing in your life is fucking, then you're just like any other animal.
those are all good things but where in those things is the apex. describe the last apex you felt.
College degree
Decent job
At least moderately attractive or non-offensively ugly
Have faked having a social life for years

just go home and drink and play video games every day

I'm not that anon, but there isn't an apex. Or if there is one, its highly subjective. One person might experience something amazing like skydiving, somebody else might feel their best every time they drink a delicious Mr. Pibb or do a line of cocaine.

Cumming is more on the Mr. Pibb scale of things. It's great but loses its appeal if you're enjoying 3 of them a day. This is life. Life doesn't need an apex because its a senseless biological process.

I think the apex for most people is usually child-related.
You can't label what the highest experience is, because if you label a known experience as the greatest, then you become complacent and won't look for anything better. Don't confuse this with a hedonistic pursuit of pleasure, I'm not speaking of physical pleasure.

But my recent experience that I really enjoyed and greatly moved me was when I went to the symphony last November, they played Prokofiev and Tchaikovsky, two of my favorite composers. I can't call it an "apex" though, it was just a pleasant experience.

You sound like a cool guy Vietbro.

I'm intrigued by your conservative and nationalistic ideas
>Cumming is more on the Mr. Pibb scale of things
I think your equanimity is flattening your perspective. Sure, on a grand scale our lives may be flatlines, but I think it's dispirited to say there is no apex.

That's a pretty good answer. Though I don't mind labeling my experiences. I don't think it would stunt me.
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