expect a lot of tossing and turning in the roughly three minutes during which you WILL change your mind and you will try to take the noose off (you wont succeed). You might absolutely trash the place and that beam does not look remotely solid enough.
Hanging is actually a gruesome death, do it long-drop style or not at all
HAHA, are you kidding us? Do you not know what a short term loan is? You don't even need the shark, you can do this on the internet. Or literally by sending a text. Why do I doubt your commitment to this endeavour?
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