You have to take control of your thoughts. You're in a hole, already. Thinking "no one would care" or "my life is worthless" is just digging yourself deeper, it literally will only make you feel worse and will achieve nothing.
Think positive, I know it sounds gay, but the only way you can reverse years of negative thinking is to combat them by flooding your mind with positive thinking. This is why medication rarely helps a lot of depressed people. They don't necessarily change the way you think. Only you can do that. I was on tons of medications for a long time, Zoloft, Zyprexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Effexor, Remeron and those were just for the depression, I've taken a lot more if I were to include sleep and anxiety meds. It wasn't until I actually started combating my negative thoughts on a regular basis that I actually started feeling better. Acknowledge you're thinking negatively, refute the negative thoughts and replace it with positive ones. Also, not saying that drugs are bad, I'm just saying that they are just addressing the symptoms and not the cause. Only you can do that.
I honestly wish I could write more in detail, but it's like 4:30am, atm. Just think about it. Another thing, coming here, in your current form, will only help reinforce the negative bullshit in your head, so stop. The last thing you need right now is an emo beta circlejerk in your life. There are a lot of other healthy, positive places and ways to spend your free time. Focus on yourself. Love yourself.
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