Who /feelingmoredepressedthanusualtoday / here?

>>26255693
jag

>>26255693
this past week has been probably the worst week of my life. I ended things with someone I really loved, and I feel fucking horrible. I haven't left my house in days and it's pathetic.


so yeah, you could say I'm /feelingmoredepressedthanusualtoday/.

>>26255693
Today has been especially horrible

>>26255749
I also cannot believe the robot did not mute me for that.

>>26255740
Whats your name if u dont mind me asking (I think I may know you)

>>26255740
>Ended things with someone I loved
>Haven't left my house in days

Some of us have never had anyone that we've ever loved. I personally have not left the house in two weeks. Welcome to the first slid on the slippery slope.

>>26255769
anna

this comment is perfectly original

>>26255812
Fuck off normalslime roastie. You cannot fathom real hopelessness.

File: 1443151623142.jpg (21KB, 408x352px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 408x352px

>>26255693

Reporting in, senpai.

I've got a bullshit make work assignment I haven't even started, that's now a week overdue, but I can't conceivably see myself doing anything other than drink and shitpost for the rest of today.

>>26255812
That would explain why you feel bad about not having left the house in mere DAYS. Leave, normie.

>>26255794
I'm usually out of the house because of uni and I'm a wage cuck.

I've called work off five consecutive days, and skipped all my classes at uni this week.

>>26255769
my name is leopold

>>26255693
Let's see,

The girl that I love (at least I think I do) started dating me recently, and for a week or so I felt truly happy, and felt like nothing could go wrong.

Then, my old friend, Major Depressive Disorder came back.

Literally cannot even reciprocate her feelings towards me. Can only feel sadness, guilt, regret, etc. Mainly feel guilty that she cares about me so much and wants to be with me even when I'm ruined, when all I could possibly do is bring her down.

I literally think about dying 24/7, and if someone was about to kill me right now, my last words would be "Thank you."

>>26255728
rare bot evasion

>>26255693
>my only friends don't want to be seen around me
>a literal autist is now dating my oneitis
>my only friends pitty me at best
>haven't said more than 10 words at once since 8 this morning
What the fuck
I'm not ugly or autistic
5'11, 180, blonde with average build, and don't talk much.
But people just don't like me
Why?

>>26256399
You're boring to be around and your social awkwardness makes other people feel superior to you.

>>26256436
But I just sit and listen to music while browsing my phone half the time. Other times I space out and stare at a wall unless someone says hi to me.
And I only reply with hi back, and they usually leave.

>>26255693
>have a history exam on Monday
>don't know shit
>oneitis keeps flirting with my '''''''friend'''''''
>feel even more shit than normal
>riding my bicycle home because poor c u ck
>flat tires
>had to walk with my bike in the sun for three miles
>cant stop thinking about oneitis
>want to die
I feel so shitty right now, I thought I had a chance with her,obviuosly I don't but I keep coming back thinking I have achance and I just am an orbiter, I cant even begin to explain how shitty I feel today. going to start drinking

>>26255693
Ive been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have no friends and I have several personality\mental disorders. I live with a narcissistic mentally abusive mother who constantly lies and gaslights me which only makes my mental problems worse. I used to be so ambitious and I actually believed that I could accomplish my goals now I just dont know what to do. I feel so angry that I seriously feel like killing myself. Id be lying if i said that i havent thought of hurting her im just so angry and its not like ive got anythhing to live for anyway.Its just too much to handle and I dont know what to do please help

>>26256506
>>26256506
yea your fucking weird

>>26256623
History is the tits anon. The only good part of my week is my history lectures. Try and get into it

The rest is horrible though. Drinking's probably a good idea

>>26256399
why is it that your friends don't want to be seen around you? there must be a reason..

>>26255693

I've been alone for years and didn't feel too bad about it. Now I'm in my mid 20's and still alone and still alone. For the first time ever I'm feeling actual depression that has been going on for days.

File: 1424759781347.jpg (36KB, 400x388px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 400x388px

>>26255693
I avoid saying I'm depressed because I haven't been diagnosed and I think self-diagnosis is mainly used for attention.
But fuck, senpai. Every few weeks I feel like I can conquer the world and I know where my life's going. But the time in-between I feel like I have no self-control or drive to do anything.
I'm starting to dip down again and feel like shit but I'm trying my best to stay positive. I'm drinking upwards of 6 cups of coffee per day just to make myself get out of bed and go to class. Today I skipped class and I feel like shit for it. I can feel myself losing drive every fucking day. I'm taking 5k iu of vitamin D every day too

>>26256005
If there was one thing she could say to you to make you feel better, what would it be?

File: thatoutlinefeel.png (389KB, 541x512px) Image search: [Google]

389KB, 541x512px

>Go to gym
>Almost start crying during my workout

Why, that's never happened before.

I feel pretty bad lately and particularly socially isolated, just can't work up the motivation to do anything whatsoever

When my parents are gone I'm definitely going to kill myself

>>26255693
very very bad day

what is that bean thing in the op pic? i see it everywhere, but ive no idea what the hell it is or where the hell its from.

Been unemployed for going on four months now. Slowly running out of money and my family's goodwill. Had an interview at a small place where I knew half the employees and I still managed to fuck it up.

Haven't really gone out/talked to people in weeks. Feel completely useless.

>>26255693
NOT ME. I'm drinking for the first time in a while and I'm listening to some sad music so I'm surprised I'm not suicidal yet. I looked for a feels thread and didn't see one.
>feels bad man
Although I haven't been frequenting /r9k/ as much as I normally do
>feels GOOD man

>>26258361
i fuggin went to the gym and started having a panic attack once. hadn't happened before and hasn't happened since.

>>26258418
Talk to me, robro. What happened?

>>26258525

I'm hoping it was just a one off thing. Gym is one of the few things I still enjoy.

>>26258534
very very bad week

>blacked out twice
>once from just alcohol
>once from think the xanax was fake and eating all of them
>both times made a fool of myself around town
>gf has broken up with me kinda but we live together so cant really break up because we are poor
>friends think I am a creeper because I sometimes drunk message this girl that I am fond of in our friend group, and I blacked out hard the past too times
>friend may have gotten caught cheating from my paper, I may be roped into it somehow, teacher likes me so willl be bad if she thinks I was helping
>falling behind with school work
>sleeping on the couch in my own damn apartment
>trying to stay away from drugs after blacking out, but so hard to not drink heavily right now

>birthday coming up, same exact date as gf birthday, but we havent talked in 2 days, so will be bad birthday
>I wish I died from the xanax and alcohol that day I blacked out. I really wish I did.

its hard to watch your life start to fall apart around you and know its your fault
yep.

I've come to the realization that I have a really fucking stupid mental problem or some shit that's only getting worse.

About two months ago I was in another thread asking if what I do every night is sign of a mental disorder, some people said it was severe OCD, but it's gotten worse, I'll describe it.

>have a bad memory, or I've convinced myself I have a bad memory
>either of those two things have led me to saving everything I want to remember inside of notepad files on my desktop
>whenever I'm going to bed for the night, I have to follow an incredibly specific routine or my mind wont let me go to sleep, it'll keep running all night until I fix what I didn't do
>have to open all the notepad files on my desktop and check them exactly four times each, reading the contents each time to make sure it's still correct each time and hasn't changed
>then have to go to my computer fan controller and turn it all the way silent, do this (clicking silent->OK) four times too, saying "silent" to myself each time
>then have to go back to all the notepad files and do them four times all again for good measure
>now I'm able to shut my computer down
>then go to my bedroom door and lock it
>but I have to make sure the door is fully locked by stepping away, coming back, looking at the locked lock, and repeating this movement 7 TIMES
>after I've done the first round I have to back up, switch my ceiling light off
>then have to put the light back on and do round 2 of 7 checkson the lock
>turn the light off again
>then check the lock one final time 7 times
>can now turn the light off and go to my bed
>lay in bed, tv is turned on on the endstand next to my bed because I can't fall asleep without a low tv
>have to turn the volume to exactly 2, any louder or lower will keep me awake
>have to do this an unknown amount of times (switching between volume 1 and 2) until it clicks in my mind that the volume is on 2
>can then go to sleep

what do I do

>>26258701
>>once from think the xanax was fake and eating all of them
Bro you gotta be careful with that shit. A friend of my father died with thirteen xanax in his system. I don't personally think that's WHY he died but still.

>everything else
Watch yourself, alright? You seem to have self-awareness to know how your actions and behavior impact yourself and others. Don't want anything truly awful happening to you, unless that is what you really want.

I'm really enjoying college but I feel stupid compared to my classmates. I also feel like I'm not smart enough to make it in my field(geology), and the more I study the less I know what I'm going to specialize in. It's especially bad now because I know that I can have a really good career trajectory but I just don't feel smart enough.

>>26258767
I'm not a psychologist but that sounds like normal OCD.