Who else /evil/ here?

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>go to publix
>see old lady going for pharmacy
>rush past her and get in line first

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>believing in good and evil
>being that blue pilled

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>girl asked for my phone number
>gave it to her
>told her I'll give her a call
>never called her

>be straight
>jerk to traps

> on a train

> saw people running for the train

> closed the doors

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>post online threat to shoot up school
>don't follow through because school is in another country

>mfw
>don't post a face

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>>26248720
>on street on a wintry day
>see schoolgirl running to catch the bus
>put my leg in her way
>she stumbles and falls face first into a puddle of mud

I actually did it when I was a kid and slightly regret it

>parents force me to go to school
>fail

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>>26248585
Pic related familias

>playing fetch with cat
>pretend to throw plush mouse
>he still runs and gets very confused
>I've already walked away
I'm a horrible person.

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>write prolifically about my evil and mischievous misdoings in such threads
>all of them are made up and I'm actually very kind to people irl

> work in a theme park
> doughnuts
> need to replace the Fanta syrup box over
> realise that I'm all alone in the unit
> park isn't open yet
> cum into the part where the pump & the bag connect
> connect the pump onto the syrup bag, which is in the box
> hold back laughter as a few hundred people have my cum in their mouths

A lot of teenage girls where in the park that day, I think may have broken the law

>>26248852
>sociopaths
WHY DO YOU FAGGOTS ALWAYS USE THE WRONG WORD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>26249000

Whoever drinks Fanta, well those tickers deserve cum in their mouths

>>26248745
Bullshit. That wasn't you.

>>26249254
dang that are a lot of insects

>make just enough pizza rolls for myself
>don't ask if anyone wants some before I put them in the oven

Hell awaits me

>>26249318
>make extra because I know my parents are going to take some even though they said they don't want any
>give them the ones with the sauce coming out
one step ahead

When I was 10 I found a dollar on the ground in school one time and I spent it on cookies at lunch that day without telling anyone I found a dollar in class

after lunch a black girl asked me if I found a dollar because she lost one and I told her no I would have said yes and paid her back if she were white

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>>26248585
>found a watch in the pub
>one guy asks me if I saw his watch
>tell him no
>sold watch at pawnshop for 80$

>>26249360
/devilish/


original comment blox blox

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Anyone else here habitually destroy autistic girls?

Best one [1/2]
>be me
>be ~15
>be sometimes the unwilling object of affection for autistic girls
>on facebook one day
>Some friend of a friend messages me
>being an emo faggot myself, I insult her for being such a normie to pose in a prom dress
>mfw prom hasn't even happened yet
>mfw we're both in sophomore year
>look closer
>Girl is wearing a Disney princess costume
>She is not pulling it off well at all.
>Tells me about her bisexuality, her love for screamo bands, all that good circa 2010 shit.
>Says she's got Asperger's and people don't like her for it at school.
>She seriously has no filter. She's def got the 'spergs.
>Says she has a crush on me
>Says she's coming to my school band performance
>yeahokaywhatever.jpg
>Sure enough
>See her in the audience
>Even worse looking in person, I shudder to this day imagining what she'd look like without the emofail garb.
>Go up to her after the show
>She hugs me and asks me to be her bf
>Tell her I'll think about it
>She says she wants to hang out anyway.
>Walk around school grounds and I give her compliments, to feel like I'm wooing her just in case I wanna tap that. Which, of course, I don't because aspie girls are 1/2 the time just as clingy as borderlines.
>Give her a kiss on the cheek, my phone number, tell her I'll call her.

>work a movie theater
>old lady insists on sitting until the very end of the credits
>have stand to wait for her old ass
>I'm flat-footed as fuck, so standing for a while hurts like crazy
>She takes even long because she somehow lost her earring under the seat
>tell her that I'll find it and bring it to the lost and found and that she can just come back for it
>find it later
>throw into the trash

friends, does anybody have a literary pepe? or otherwise educated and good with words pepe?

I need it for important reasons

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>see someone post on this board about a dire situation they are in
>start writing out advice I feel will help them cope based on my own experiences with a similar situation
>don't finish writing up post and instead contribute to a frogposter's thread

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Finns are master manipulators

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>>26249518
>She calls me that night. I don't answer.
>She calls again as soon as it goes to voicemail.
>She calls again.
>And again
>&again
>Answer it and don't say anything and wait for her to say something.
>"H-hello?"
>Hang up.
>She calls again.And again and again and again.
>She calls 30 times a day for the next week
>I'm on a band trip and I've silenced my calls from her so it's only a moderate minor inconvenience.
>Not gonna lie, I found it kinda funny.
>Answer one day. Tell her I'll only go out with her if she comes out as bisexual to her christoconservative parents
>She calls me and tells me she's done it.
>Mfw I really didn't expect this and now feel in2deep
>I tell her I'm not really interested anymore. Apologize.
>She starts crying on the phone and says she loves me.
>Don't know how to deal with girls crying. Say sorry. Hang up.
>Two days later she is sent to one of those Christian boarding schools in Utah for Troubled Teens (tm)
>Gone for 2 months
>No one has heard from her
>Late into second month get word from some emo faggot writing a song about her that she returned home after a bried stay and killed herself a little over a month prior
>Her suicide becomes the school meme.
>Mfw I might have done this.

>>26249518
>>26249673

We should be friends anon

>boss at work treats me really poorly
>"works from home" twice per week with no notice
>makes it impossible to get in touch with her to confirm details
>blames me for shit that isn't my fault and takes credit for my work
>regularly dumps work on me at 4:30
>i'm working 70 hours per week (and don't get paid overtime)
>boss wants to plan surprise baby shower for woman in my office
>patting herself on the back constantly
>sends repeated emails so people give her credit
>all she's actually doing is asking for money
>pregnant lady is a bitch too
>yells at people then blames hormones
>on morning of the party i write "surprise baby shower 2:00" on a paper towel
>female friend follows pregnant lady into bathroom
>places paper towel on top of stack
>pregnant lady sees message
>everyone waits in conference room
>"surprise!"
>pregnant lady doesnt look surprised in the slightest
>admits she knew but doesn't say how she found out
>boss cries

Cake was chocolate with vanilla frosting. Pretty good day overall.

>>26249673
Fucking Killua you dickhole.

>>26250073
>female friend
you snuck into the women's bathroom didn't you?

>>26250121
nope. i actually have a female friend in the office. honestly, i could have asked anyone for help. i can't describe how badly these two women are hated by everyone.

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>be me
>coming home from school
>girl looks at me and laughs secretly with her friend
>REE hard and charge her
>bulldoze her into the ground
>leave to play video games all night
>during the same week see her in a wheelchair
>the skinny bitch had broken a leg in the fall
>no legal consequences, mummy may or may not have covered me
>had already fucked up male bullies so no one did shit to me

Still no idea what they were saying about me but I smile every time

>>26248585
>mom tells me to tie my shoes
>never do

>:)

>>26249555
>start writing out advice I feel will help them cope

lmao these delusional normalfag saviors

>>26250073
How in hell is this evilish?

Sounds like something Dennis The Menace would do.

If someone buys a vehicle from me and they try to back out because they've been shopping elsewhere, ill run their credit a bunch of times and ruin their credit

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>be full time babysitter
>paid 250 a week to watch 2yr old triplet boys
>super sweet and involved with the kids till parents leave for work (cooking breakfast playing chase etc)
>as soon as they leave and kids finish eating put them all in pull ups and give each one a generous dose of benadryl to knock them our
>invite over fwb
>eat their snacks smoke weed and fuck till kids' parents get home around 8pm

notice that i need more benadryl to knock those little fuckers out recently though

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>>26248585
>stay with sister and her friend at their house
>drink about half a bottle of smirnoff to myself, they where drinking whiskey
>her and her friend usually sleep together in the double bed
>her friend gave me another mattress to sleep on but my sister wants to stay with me for the night
>lay there awake for hours as we are cuddling having time of my life
>her friend gets up for work at about 5am so we both get into the comfy double bed
>shes asleep in about 5 minutes with my arms around her
>couple hours go by and ive been rock solid for some time
>decide to masturbate while next to her
>laid on my back left hand on my dick right hand down her leggings on her ass
>fully going for it just groping and smelling her
>start rubbing my fingers against her pussy outside the pants
>came on my side of the bed and used the sheet to mop it up
>went to sleep and the next day she had no idea
>im 18 shes 20

>>26250314
>Sounds like something Dennis The Menace would do
nice kek m8

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Any autistic qt's looking for a bf?

>>26250043
Yeah- let's.

>>26250623
Yeah but not from /r9k/ thanks

>>26250596
you know, it's possible she knows and simply doesn't want to confront you about it.
maybe she thinks its too awkward yo bring up, maybe she actually enjoyed it and wants to avoid acknowledging it, but it's very possible that she knows what you did. especially if she said she wanted to 'stay with you for the night'

I did the same thing to a female acquaintance and was convinced she didn't know but it turned out she did.

>>26250623
>being this desperate

You're turning off any girl who might be interested.

>go on lgbt
>find the gay thread
>call them faggots

>>26250722
Well she says stuff like "if only we where'nt related" all the time but it think it's mostly because i look like her favorite singer

Ive done simular things many times but i enjoy the cuddling and kissing her more than the masterbating desu senpai

>>26250761
Yeah man sounds as if she knows for certain and doesn't mind but doesn't wanna talk about it to you. Like when girls say things like "oh i don't wanna put a label on it" about their relationships, she doesn't wanna talk about it because then it'll be a 'defined thing' in her life.

But I totally get you I'm the same with some my female friends [with benefits], and the cuddles/making out is the best part. I love it when you're lying together and they make the first move and you just play hard to get and they keep edging you on until they're pretty much stroking your dick. They are the best of times.

>>26250666
we should grab few beers next time you visit eastern Europe
I might visit Ohio some time in the future in case u are americuck ;^)

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>Go on LGBT board
>Call them faggots
>Am gay

>>26250834
Well senpai the thing is my dad and her mother split up when i was about 5, shes only recently came back into my life and i just love the fact she loves me enough to keep coming over to me pretty much every day

I would have sex with her but i feel like because shes autistic it would fuck her life up more than i would mine you know.

i don't mean to get all emotional on r9k with someone i don't know but ive been drinking so i don't mind much, can i ask who you are doing this with? are they related to you or is it just a friend

>>26250871
top kek m8
I post my twink body on grindr for compliments and talk mad shit at faggots at the same time

>>26250887
Adding i re-read your post and saw the "female friend with benefits part", but do you think i should just ask her about this or should i keep it as is?

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>show normies some rare Pepes
>tell them that his name is "Twitter Toad"
>mfw they spread that shit on Normiebook and Twitter

>>26250887
ah man that actually sounds like such a comfy/pleasant situation you're in desu, good that you two have gotten closer again.
Yeah I wouldn't say go for the sex myself, but stay as close as you two are right now definitely. Also very nice of you to think of how it might affect her and not just following your nob!

haha no worries man I'm a little drunk myself. Mine's just a friend but one of those friends from childhood that was always more like a sister. She's really attractive too in a unique way, like an arty fashion model. And the funniest girl I know irl desu.
Then there's another girl I used to be like this with but she got a boyfriend very recently and they're pretty serious, we're still flirty though, just don't do anything at all.

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>someone online reveals themselves to be of african origin
>they attempt to sound like a person
>call them a nigger
>they quiet

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>>26250967
You mean misogynist school shooter frog?

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>>26250991
Thanks man it is a pretty nice situation really, you sound like a cool guy senpai and im happy we are both in a good position.

Again thanks for the advice, i was debating posting it here because i'm not entirely sure if she lurks here or not but for now i think ill take your advice and not bring it up and just continue the way things are, she has been getting more and more upfront with me about things and we have been talking about deep shit to eachother, for example i told her about some lewd things between me and my younger cousin and she said she won't judge me.

This is honestly the best feeling i have been in my entire life and i just don't want to fuck things up but at the same time i don't want to tease her and lead her on, she means alot to me senpai

>>26250866
Alas, I am an Americuck. I get to Europe annually, though. Name the time and place, Vladimir.

>>26248706
Not this time, baitmaster...

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>evil thread
>beta males can't help themselves and start idealizing and daydreaming about girls and how nice they are

fuck off degenedrunks

>>26251141
Well she is my sister senpai, obviously my opinion is bias

>>26251099
hahaha cheers man, you too you too.

eh even if she does the chance of her being on exactly when you are and seeing the exact same thread is very low, and you can say it wasn't you desu.
yeah, this might sound like silly advice but literally just don't force anything and see where it goes. you two will probably always be close whatever happens, just let things develop naturally.
the thing you say about your younger cousin makes me 1000% more sure that she knows about what you did/do while she was/is asleep too.
yeah it's a nice feeling, like some of the nicest parts of being in a relationship without the stresses of a relationship, more like a long honeymoon.
sounds like you're already very honest with each other so just keep being honest and you won't be leading her on, sounds like you wouldn't be able to do that even if you tried because of how close you two are/how genuinely sound you seem to be. s'all good, enjoy it.

>>26251141
mate that's not even what we're talking about.
and this conversation basically stems from "we groped some girls while they were asleep and they enjoyed it", not exactly 'nice thread' material is it?

>dated ugly women in highschool and fucked them despite them being disgusting hambeasts that churned my stomach
>wait until I told them they loved me
>dumped them
>told everyone they were fucking liars

>>26250540
Why are you on this board or even this website get the fuck out.

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>>26251217
thanks mate, i hope all goes well with you too

>>26251274
Being a full time babysitter is the female equivalent of a robot

>>26250540
If the father finds out he will probably murder you in cold blood. I would

>>26251324
Not really actually, not at all, even if females could be robots, still no.

>>26250540
You're fucking disgusting
I hope you get shot

>be a robot
>try my best to appear normal
>ask for people's numbers
>never call or text them
Also, praise kek.

>>26251107
>tfw my second name is actually Vladimir
idk anon im currently living in Kurwaland
but i might move to Czech soon
im on this board everyday
give me a heads up once you visit old continent

>>26251274
>>26251373
>robots getting mad because it's a female being evil

>>26251377
Witness

>>26251423
>robots getting mad because it's a female
Here fixed it for ya

>tell sister to not wipe her mouth on the hand towel
>she argues with me and does anyway
>rub my balls all over it when she leaves

>>26251446
Topkek

random number

>>26251449
next time rub them balls on her face. Thatll show her

>>26251274
Feeeeemales may be largely unempathetic /sociopaths/ but many of them are autistics who don't wash their cunts and do dress mannish because autism and pack on the pounds, inevitably facing social rejection. Those are the closest things to girlbots.

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>>26251881
You're describing a juggalette.

>>26251881
if they are like that that means they are no longer females
they are asexual blobs that even robots wont touch
>inb4 ruuu hypocrite
thats truth whether you like it or not

>>26250226
>"anon is a nice kid, it sucks that people are so mean to him. i think he's actually kind of cute"