>be thirty-SEVEN years old.
>Saving a pepe to computer.
>Picture folder that opens up is one reserved for a girl I had a crush on since fourth grade. It's probably more than a crush.
>Doesn't matter anyway because: She is a doctor now and I am balding, have starting getting white hairs, live with my mother and have never held a job down in my life because of chronic illness and severe anxiety issues.
There is no god.
Don't kid yourself anon :p she wouldn't have liked you even if you achieved any of those things :( you are just barely human, the kind of people who always hang at the edge of the definition :)
Not that it matters now that your life is over :( what milestones are there left :( seeing your mom die :( loosing your house and living in government accommodation? It's all downhill from here buddy :p
I'd never even seen a picture of her since the class photo from forth grade. Then I looked her up online, which was hard because she got married to some sports jock and changed her name. Then I found her on facebook but wouldn't dare try to contact her. I just thank god people don't know who visits your facebook so she isn't creeped out.
Probably doesn't even remember me except for that time I farted as I walked past her and she laughed.
I have an unmarried aunt who lives in my grandparents home across the country. I guess I'd sell this house and move in with her. I really rather want to move to a state where pot is legal and just stone myself into oblivion.
Hey! Remember me from 4th grade? No? Are you sure, I farted while walking past you. Oh no? Well I think you are looking pretty in your recent pictures. How about those wild 20s? Yeah I am glad you dumped that one guy. You are aging just like I thought you would. Anyways, bye, still love you!
>tfw in college
>still regularly masturbating to pics of crushes I had in highschool and middle school
I often wonder if I'll be fapping to those pics and memories forever.
I'd probably do it to the ones from elementary school if I could find any of them.
Wtf. OP here. We are talking about two different things. Do you even know the difference between a crush and lust?
Some people do not, in fact my therapist told me what you have OP and what I have is actually not a crush but a disorder. It is when the love map in your brain gets messed up. The fact we can remember and think about girls intensely from like more than two decades ago is not normal, especially if they barely talked to us, that is apparently not a crush but a problem in our brains. First the love map can work properly, then your own brain will form something like a tulpa and psychosis in later years.
I just wonder what might have been. That's what gets me. What if I had been in Gifted class like she was. What if we went to high school together, would she still like me? I don't think I have a disorder so much as crushing regrets (no pun intended).
28 yr old kv NEET here.
Each passing day makes life more miserable, and the chances and will to come out of the mess decrease. I wasted my whole life believing I could do something tomorrow, or maybe next week or maybe next month, but in the end I was just lying to myself.
I see all the people who were in my class, they're doing pretty well, some are working, some have a kid, some are getting married, and I can't help but look at their Facebook profiles and get jealous, jealous beyond belief that it could have been me, I could have had fun too. Their lives kept on going but mine stopped after highschool. I did nothing after highschool, nothing happened to me ever since.
My advice to you younglings, though I'm not too old myself but I fucked up a fair bit, so my advice to you is, don't sit at home. Go out for a walk, maybe help your father fix the car, or even open up a lemonade stand for fucks sake, but don't let the day go by unmemorable. Unmemorable days go by like a leaking tap. You won't know when a year goes by when you sit at home.
I'll be going to the local community college to this year if they take me in, maybe I can fix all this mess. The damage to the brain has been done from brainless media consumption and idleness, but I might be able to make it.
Good luck to you all
Well. One time I was standing in front of her desk and she whispered "Hey, tall dark and handsome". It's not 100 percent inconceivable.
I don't think she'd appreciate that in the least, and neither would my nerves.
>Well. One time I was standing in front of her desk and she whispered "Hey, tall dark and handsome". It's not 100 percent inconceivable.
For the good of your sanity, let this go. I don't remember all the people I've said random compliments to, so chances are she doesn't either. Especially when you take into account she has much bigger things to worry about like being a fucking doctor, her husband and kids/having kids.
I don't mean to sound harsh but it really is time to let go if that's the only tether you've been holding onto for this whole time.
Listen up, 32 is the new 21. Our generation has the longest childhood in history, we are privileged to be able to fuck around for the majority of our 20s. You are 28, in the great scheme of things that is nothing. You are still a baby in terms of life experience and you still have much more to come. Please stop acting like your life is older because you allow some arbitrary thing like age define how you live your life.
Think if you really actually wanted to do the things you are worried you have missed out on. 9/10 you will realise you didn't want to, or had no inclination to do the things you are upset about not doing, so why beat yourself up about it? You're just punishing yourself for being you.
If you happen to feel like you did want to do that stuff, then there's literally nothing stopping you from doing that now.
I hope this helps.
yes, i guess there are some people who can't just simply go outside. but then you should try looking for other ways to make your day valuable. to make it short: cut back on useless activities like watching stupid shit or lurking on 4chan for hours.
the danger lies in the fact that the more time you spent without doing anything the harder it will be for you to change. this is probably not the case for everybody since there are people who can just flip an internal switch and completely change their behavior from one day to another. but for most people it is not that easy. For someone who has spent the last 5 years with doing nothing it will be quite a challenge.
Yes it's true that it won't be easy, but that's the case with most worthwhile things. I just hoped I could help make something click in this anon's head to help them see that it is possible to change.
Another thing I would like to add is that an important part of this process is forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for mistakes you may or may not have made; all hating yourself does is perpetuate the stagnation and procrastination that is holding you back.
18 here wew lad ill be normal in 2 yrs tops :^^^)^^)
but for real dude, robotism starts in the early teens. some people grow out of it but that shit doesnt always happen. due to anxiety issues or something i literally cannot talk to people 1 on 1, for instance, and i dont see this habit going away
The habit can be broken. Here's a tip; most people are very awkward and anxious about social interaction, some are just better at hiding it than others. Some people have learnt how to deal with it through either being forced to by a job or something, or through life experience. This realisation is the key first step in breaking the habit.
Next step, practice! Put yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Start very easy, like just going to the local shop and maybe just saying 'how are you today?' after you greet the person working at the counter. Stuff like this will make you get more confident as you see people's positive reactions.
tl;dr: The only way to get out of this is to expose yourself to simple interaction and understand that most people feel a certain level of anxiety over social situations.
He has a point. I'm trying to keep my head up since I'm 26, but I've ALWAYS felt behind the curve in my life and that caused me to rush things and ending up in worse situations just to "keep up" with others. I'm going to try to just focus on doing things that don't make me want to kill myself. I have until early 30s to have ALL my shit together.
>There is no god.
Good, then we create our own destiny. The universe doesn't owe us anything and we doesn't owe the universe anything.
Caveat: Just because you're creating your own destiny doesn't mean that you can do anything. It would, for instance, be silly to think that in 2016, you can start a successful chain of arcades.
I'm 40 in a couple of weeks. What do I win?