Does anyone else deal with depersonalization?
I constantly have trouble with being able to tell what is actually going on around me like I'm trying to remember a dream from a few nights ago
I MISS THIS AUUGH
Probably has something to do with me not going outside as much
Back when I went to school, though, derealization was ramped up to 1000% at all times
I ended up becoming almost completely unresponsive, shit was crazy
To be more specific all my memories just kind of mix together and echo over each other until they're incomprehensible
I struggle with feeling like I never actually speak and that I just think everything but I can perfectly remember oddly specific facts about people close to me
I remember once I was so unresponsive that I completely didn't notice a guy trying to talk to me and I spent the rest of the night just kind of staring at the ceiling distracted by the texture of it
Yes, full blown depersonalization disorder and no I'm not a degenerate fuck like you I've never done drugs.
I suffered from it acutely while I was a teenager and it would always be triggered by anything that seemed out of place or odd. It always felt oddly existential and quite terrifying as if my body was external to myself and the world felt far away as if everything was a dream. I was always frightened that I would end up in that state permanently one day.
I eventually 'mastered' it though I learned to be able to control the feeling and prevent it from happening or even force it to if need be. It's been useful to get through things that I wouldn't haven't been able to in a normal state of mind. If I slip into that state I don't find anything terrifying or disturbing.
>I MISS THIS AUUGH
Fuck off to >>>/tumblr/ with your retarded teenage girl speech patterns m8.
If you're still young it'll get better. The key is trying to learn how to control it rather than letting it control you.
Try practicing meditation, I often found focusing intensely on something like my breathing would help bring me back. Just as long as I didn't acknowledge the feeling as happening it would go away.
Yes, I was blessed with the gift of depersonalization. Being able to drop the illusion of self at will and achieve No-Mind is an incredible blessing. I remember in elementary school getting scolded by teachers and simply turning them off. Their mouths were moving, noises were coming out, but I was pleasantly empty and uncomprehending. Likewise, when my mother died I was the one to give the speech since everyone else was overcome with tears and only I was capable of standing aside from my own emotional reaction. In my line of work, when I deal with crisis situations which require instant and accurate judgement, it's a great advantage to be able to distance myself from emotional tumult and observe it as if it was happening to someone else.
>when I deal with crisis situations which require instant and accurate judgement
I've often wondered how many other people do something similar. I've met few other people who are able to handle traumatic events as well as I can and be able to stay rational and functioning. However I never knew if they could do something similar to myself or if that was just the way they were.