post the most recent text message you have from a female who

Literally impossible.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Most_recent_common_ancestor#TMRCA_of_all_living_humans

>>26238809
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism#Characteristics

>>26238790
You already made a thread about this photo, bragfag.

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I asked my oneitis about what we did in a lecture class I missed. I wish we talked. Actually talked, not school text.

>>26238865
i don't have much to brag about. let me have this for now

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>>26238790
We haven't talked in over a year, but I miss her ever day.

"Did you hang up?"

>>26238886
dat dat grammar doe

>>26238886
Everyday* fuck

>>26238790

So, you made another post about this text message. It's even more impressive seeing it a second time.

>>26238886
You should text her right now and tell her what you said to us.

sweet 7eleven phone playa

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>>26238950
>dat dat

>>26238985
I'd have to get majorly drunk first

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>>26238790
Gosh fucking darn robot.

"I spent most of our relationship looking up definitions of manipulative or mentally abusive relationships, I know you don't be able to see it, but you were not good for me at all and you made my life worse, not to be mean but I see now that its true, I wanted to be out for a while but was still attached so yeah I'm glad I'm not anymore and I wish it happened sooner so no I don't really feel the need to check in"

"Happy birthday Anon! (:"

that was on August 30, 2013.

it's been almost 3 years since I've talked to a girl in a non school or work setting. holy shit.

none
shithead

>AMAZING talent and passion for music.... For you to discover what is next for your future should be pursued. Hugs, [NAME REDACTED]

It's from my dad's girlfriend two years ago

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Making Valentines Day plans and she asked what I wanted.

I love her so much. I'll get off your board now.

"ok that sucks i feel u *coffee emoji x3* "

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>>26238790
>yfw your sisters name is maggie

>>26238886
Lmao. She's full of shit. You keep tabs on her? I'd bet cold hard cash that bitch is dating a Chad now. If not, she will soon. All women are bisexual, whether that claim to be gay or straight.

me: are you awake
her: yes
me: do you want me to call you?

No answer. That was Saturday morning around 3am and she never replied. I deleted the message thread and went No Contact

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>>26239498
L-LEAVE YOU HAPPY FUCKER

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hooray for me i guess

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Nothing spectacular really

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I've never gotten a text from a girl

>hit up -dude-

from the sister of said dude, that was bribed with a beer and two cigarettes to text it to me. i know because he tried to get me to pay him back for the two cigs & beer he used to get ahold of me

my phone doesn't go back far enough, but i think the last one was when I'd asked a girl to hang out when I was 16 (21 now) and got "no sorry"

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five minutes ago
yes that was sent to me

>>26239498
>you can take the day off or we can celebrate a different day

Now that's a keeper.

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>>26239608

The only person I ever get texts from is my mom. My phone is basically a walkie walkie for me and mommy. I'm 25.

>>26239622
Leave, you sorry dirty slut.

>>26239644
>calls are from 5 years ago
What gives, anon?

>it's okay babe, it's cute.

I love her :3

>>26239245
that hit so hard i felt it from here. i doubt you were as bad as she says anon. she's prob one of those girls who loves to tell themselves how much struggle they've been unfairly put through

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It says "Just wanted to tell you I'm pregnant"

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This is with my oneitus

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I deleted it, but something along the lines of

"I do not want nor need you. Never contact me again."

From my ex-girlfriend, ~6 months ago, after I asked her how she was doing for the first time in three years. She broke up with me 5 years ago. Any girl I've talked to since has grown disinterested in me long before the point of texting me.

>>26239527
there's a 25% chance im gonna fuck your sister this friday after playing my guitar with her in my dorm room bro

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Life could be worse right now.

>>26239604
How would she not know what you said to her at the airport?

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>>26239548
No, I don't. Like an idiot I tried to keep the friendship going and she blocked me.

>>26239725
Holy shit, elaborate!

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Things are about to get interesting

>>26239757
Because neither of us remember what was said?

>>26239788
Tell her to show her tits once she's drunk. Then show us.

>>26239760
Well anon, when a man and a woman love each other very much...

>People that have ever gotten a text from a girl
Get out, seriously.

>>26239738
>didn't reply
Don't go any further anon. It's over. you lost

>>26239795
Do you both suffer from short term memory loss?

>>26239749
i dont know those feels but i appreciate you sharing them with us anon-kun

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>>26238790
Never.
>smartphones
For what purpose, who /coolphone/ here?

>>26238790
youre probably feeling like a million bucks now, but never let ur guard down, bro. theres a reason why we say all women are alike.

>>26239832
an hero by setting yourself on fire, please

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Dont know what i said

>>26239840
This was about a year ago.
Now im jaded and wear all kinds of emotional armour around women kek

>>26239848
I actually do have a really shitty short term memory, which forces me to tell the truth about most things because I'd never be able to keep up with a lie.

Whatever I said to her, I'm pretty sure it was something mundane and hardly worth remembering.

>>26239819
I already have them but I'm not posting

>>26239589
Don't give up anon. Up until a week ago, I was depressed and miserable. Then her name showed up on my phone through Tinder.

Fun fact: both of us are from different states and not natives of the state we currently reside in.

Push on and persevere, anon. You can do it. It may not be easy but it's worth it.

I've never owned a phone and even if I did no one would ever text me.

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Heh she wanted the d so bad

>>26239868
i'm op and i don't have a smart phone
>>26239875
i know but even if she rips out my heart and tears it in half i'll still be better than i was before. because you start out with a whole heart, then after your first break up it's torn in half and you regrow half of a heart that you don't give to anyone. and then you fall in love again and give her half, and it's torn in half again. but it grows back and now you have 3/4 of a heart you don't give to anyone. etc. so each time you handle it better

>>26238790
omg gtfo you retard

I don't have one you stupid fucking normie.

>>26239982
You are such a fucking faggot, holy shit.

>>26239983
>she's calling you her boyfriend after a week

lol, you don't see it now, but someday you will.

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>>26240082
not him but you can have some i found on reddit anon

>>26239982
Just post the fucking tits, you cockgobbler.

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>>26240082
she browses /r9k//, so no

>>26239983
what's worth it?

>>26240009
autismintextform.jpg

>>26239897
what happened?

original post bloxxx

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I assume my wife counts as family?

Anyway, my daughter couldn't go to a birthday party last weekend, so this I guess.

Welp, it's official. 90% of these texts are from girlfriends or partners.

/r9k/ is normie central now

>>26240586
Thanks, Lori.

as

>Hey Jacob, it's Mrs. Rogers. Please don't forget to submit this week. :) Thanks so much! Have a great night!!!
Not a single text from a woman who isn't family or a teacher

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[Spoiler]I do not like having relationships with people because they end.[/spoiler]

>>26240871

I don't see how this is possible. It's insanely easy to get a girls number and have some flirty small talk. Women love cheeky banter, makes them feel validated.

I know we just pretend to be virgins cos it's funny, at least I hope that's what you're doing and you're not the handful of actual losers that come here thinking /r9k/ is just a hug box.

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She was saying my fringe/bangs were cute :3
Original post

>>26240925

>we pretend to be virgins because it's funny
low quality bait

>>26239608
My parents won't even get me a phone cuz they know I don't have anyone to talk to. Checkmate anon.

>>26240925
I don't really have a social life and I can't carry conversations at all, also other excuses

>>26238790
No texts besides family members since I got this phone a year and a half ago.

I have 3 text "conversations" since then besides notifications from my cell provider.

I've never gotten a text from a woman that isn't related to me.

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>"Thank you for the kind words
>I appreciate it. But I don't remember meeting you ever."

I didn't even bother responding. I just wanted to be her friend.

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Tfw brobot

>>26239586
Asking her is so beta. Just call if you're going to call. Quit asking for permission to do things

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>>26240693
What were you expecting? The people who read the OP and didn't qualify and didn't have some depressing break up story weren't gonna post.

Like me. I don't belong in this thread. This thread doesn't even belong on this board. What a dumb question to ask.

"Yeh, I'll have it to you tomorrow"'

I get my weed from my qt Asian manager

ITT : The normies of r9k

Everyone who posts a pic needs to leave

None. I don't really have the ability to make friends with girls, and they hate me. I should kill myself at some point this year

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>>26240925
>I know we just pretend to be virgins cos it's funny

I'm sorry, either this is pic related, or you missed the turn at reddit

>>26239644
nigga is that an iPhone 3GS or some shit baka desu senpai get an iPhone 6S Plus and join the rest of us will u ya fucking drongo

>>26240925
> us happy people need a place too!!! :)))

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(1/2)
>>26242220
Probably true (original)

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>>26242435
ooooorrrrrrrrrrgggggiiiiinnnnnaal

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>>26238790
>tfw finding out I was my oneitis' oneitis

>>26240925
I know this is bait, but it got me thinking. Trying to explain to a normalfag/Chad why robots aren't swimming in pussy and have their own harem of desperately aroused bitches is like a fish trying to explain to a bird why it can't simply leave the ocean and fly. The bird knows nothing but flying, just as Chad knows nothing but social success.

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Texts from my qtpie art school gf. We can't sleep together tonight cause she has projects to finish :(

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I sold the affections of someone else to her in exchange for candy
I dont even like candy. I dont know why I do half the things I do

>>26239752
>that many hearts
It almost feels like she's putting up an act.
Probably a he anyway.

Literally have none, total fucking kissless Virgin betafag here

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After a date.

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and that's how I lost the only girl that ever showed an interest in me

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>>26243072
What? How did you lose her?

>>26243178
Out contact is restricted to every few months and I'm always the one that initiates
Not to sure what to make of it any more

>>26243244
How far away does she live? Honestly if I was in that situation I would stop texting her, you'll feel better if you delete her number

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She sent me this tbqh

Does it count if I got a snapchat from a qt saying thank you for the flower i gave her today?

" I already got us a gammon joint now :( "

I went with a bloke because I'm gay.

>>26243244
4 hours from here. When we last saw each other she said we could meet up again this summer. I'm kind of hoping she keeps her word

>>26243367
Dude 4 hours is not so far that you can't meet up halfway every once in a while, summer is too far away. Bring this up with her and if she doesn't want to try and make more of an effort drop her >>26243354

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>tfw never owned a cellphone

>>26243367
that was in response to
>>26243259

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>>26238790
THIS THREAD IS FULL OF FUCKING NORMIES
GET THE FUCK OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THIS IS MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>26238790
>hold up i'm almost there

We were meeting for a school project with another dude.

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Person who guesses what I was asking for gets nudes.

>>26243402
A bag of carrots to start your veggie patch.

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Girlfriend. Fell asleep before she sent that.

>>26243422
Looks like she's not that into you

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>>26238790
These threads are sickening.

How do you all get through each day without killing yourselves?

>>26243422
>separate from gf at night
>shes telling you about another male in bed

you a literal cuck m8?

>>26238886
There is something called puncuation

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>>26243387
Only if you come with me

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>>26243435
She is.
>>26243447
It's not another dude. I was asking about her grandfather since he isn't well. She's a commuter to our college while I dorm. She lives 30 minutes away, so it's pointless.

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>if all you're going to do is insult and degrade me then I'm going to block you.

Right before I deleted her. Fucking cunt cheated on me. I used to be sad our relationship ended but it turned out she was a shitty person anyway.

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>>26240135
>going on reddit.
stay away faggot

I can't remember the last time I texted a girl that wasn't related to me... if ever...
>>26243488
Is that some sort of SMTxDoom picture?

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>>26243475
SHUT UP
ROBOTS DONT HAVE NICE THINGS OR GIRLFRIENDS
OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT NORMIE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>26243499
Yes it is, anon. It's a great background.

>>26243526
Heh thats cool. I only noticed it because the Jack Frost head and the pose of the guy.

Now that we bonded over your background can you teach me how to get a gf? Thanks.

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>having anyone but your family in your contacts
NORMIES

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>finally have dinner with a girl from uni after days of texting
>it only happened cause I ran into her and she was like "why not"
>at the end of the night she says "I don't think I'll text you for a few days since we spent so many hours together today, teehee"
>too autistic to understand if it was a joke or not

>2 days later no text
I refuse to text her first after she made that "joke"
send help.

>>26243178
Why don't you respond to Emily?

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>thread of normies

>>26243572
She's my ex girlfriend and keeps trying to guilt me into taking her back and all that jazz

>>26243488
You have to know your being cucked right. I'm retarded and I can tell she doesn't actually like you. Every time you text her she's very dismissive.

>>26243543
I don't even know how. I'm a 6 at best. One thing that I'd say really helped me was my sense of humor. Girls seem to really like guys who aren't always too serious. The one I'm with now is a funny story. When I started college a year+ ago, I decided to just go in Tinder to fuck around and check girls out. Bear in mind, up until that point I've never met anybody through it. It was all but lost hope until I matched her. I didn't even get a chance to respond because she sent me a message right away, which blew my mind even up to now. That's something you almost never see. If there's one piece of solid advice I can give you, it's not to dote on yourself. As soon as I decided to not wallow in my misery, it just happened.

>>26243597
Why you shoot yourself in the fucking head normie?

>>26243488
Is your image supposed to prove that she is?

>>26243605
I'm fucked then awesome. I'm ugly unfunny and no one will ever love me. I'm probably just going to go through with killing myself in a few days.

I don't have any. Only got my mum, dad and sister in my phone

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>>26243488
You both sound like a couple of inbred

>>26243610
I assume you mean why don't I. I used to be a socially awkward greasy haired ugly guy. This past year has seen me completely transform

>>26243597
Can I have her number? I'd like to be with her...

>>26243636
>This past year has seen me completely transform
Hopefully this next one you'll transform in a another suicide statistic

>>26243603
Only time will tell.

>>26243616
It doesn't?

>>26243618
Don't lose faith just yet.

>>26243624
She was born here in Mass, and I'm from an ocean away but have spent most of my life here. You may be right.

>>26243669
You don't know how hard its been for me. I've lost all hope.

>>26243645
Sadly no, I won't let you make the same mistake I did.

>>26243660
Somebody seems a wittle on tilt

>>26243688
Please let me, you don't know how lonely I am I'd take anyone... Though who am I kidding she probably wouldn't want me. It must be nice to have a girl text you every day and want you huh? I'll never know that feeling.

>>26243679
What's your life situation, anyways? It's hard to gauge for sure without knowing that.

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>>26238790
"I don't know how to say this.... I want to end the relationship because we don't ever talk and idk I don't know how to explain it."

>>26243698
It doesn't feel nice when the girl you actually like won't do that. It's more of a bother than anything

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:-))) mommy

>>26243734
Thats good for you, someone already likes you and you wont take them. Why cant you put yourself in the shoes of someone who has never had a gf? Why cant you just take what you can get and be happy?

>>26243761
Because having a girl doesn't just make you happy. You'll learn that one day

>>26243402
anal buttsexe ?

>>26243772
I hate you normies. I hope you die. Get off this fucking board.

>>26243722
>"I don't know how to say this.... I want to end the relationship because we don't ever talk and idk I don't know how to explain it."
kek

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We are talking about my psychopathic, borderline personality sister. my parents don't do anything when she throws temper tantrums because she is their little girl :^) she's fucking 22 years old.

>>26243783
You don't hate, you envy

>>26243798
I can hate and envy. Why do you come to this board? Why do you want to make threads like this and make people like us want to kill ourselves more? One place in this world where there are others like me and you assholes ruin it.

>>26243794

also one time she physically fucking attacked me because I took her white board eraser. my mom called the cops but nothing happend of it. I didn't hit her back because I would have gone straight to jail If I did and she wouldn't have gotten so much as a slap on the wrist.

>>26243794

give me your sisters number, is she a cutie?

>>26243819
I've been here for nearly 3 years now and it's comfortable and routine. I was worse than you

>>26243851
No you weren't fucking worse than me you faggot normie. Go suffocate on your pussy or something.

>>26243840

she's reasonably attractive, but she already has a boyfriend. I feel so fucking bad for him she treats him like shit and he does nothing.

>>26243860
You just don't want to try for anything else. You sit there and complain instead of attempting something so you can blame the world for your inability to take responsibility

>>26243901
You don't know me normie. I've gone out and done lots of stuff but no one will ever like me because I'm ugly and its not fixable. Leave this board go to /soc/ and start cheating on your girlfriend or whatever you normies do.

>>26243909
You can't be that ugly. Get a better haircut, dress better and try to be a nicer person

>>26243929
I am. Sorry I wasn't born pretty like you.

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hot off the press, folks

>>26243939
I am definitely not pretty, especially at 2 am

"Are you having fun?"

No. No I am not. I feel empty when I play vidya and the only reason I do it at this point is because I don't know what else to do.

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translation:
hello:) My new phone-no. from tomorrow on

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It's been a while, but here

Last semester a girl texted a group chat we were in "where are we meeting?" Because she was in my group for a project

That is the only one

>>26239644
What about the lady at the Chinese food restaurant anon? you're putting her kids through college, she loves you.

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>Can't I'm busy sorry

>>26240280
>autism
It seems more like he's not interested in her if anything man.

>Well, i think this is what everyone wants... >There's nothing unnatractive about you or pathetic about you.
>You are too hard on yourself...
>I dont judge people like that, if only you knew how chill i am...

Worst part she was into me but I humiliated myself while I had a nervous breakdown.

First woman in a long while to call me handsome and I blew it.

I had to drop her. After that self inflicted humiliation nothing gold could have come from it.

Last text from a woman was a week ago from my boss telling me I forgot to clock out that friday.

Before that, like the same day I had some mild flirtations with a girl from class but she has a boyfriend and I'm an ugly beta so that's as far as it goes.

My last message from a female was in 2009, my school friend wishing me a happy hirthday.

Not a single contact with females for last 7 years

:)

Hi, its femanon from tutor group. Thought I'd text you so you get my number

"thanks for caring about lil ol me"