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Autism Moments Greentexts
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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ITT: We greentext autistic moments we've experienced
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>my grandpa just died
>at school week later
>one of my galpals is gone
>no one knows why
>day later
>she's back
>ask her why she was gone
>"oh my grandma died"
>immediately blurt out "that's funny because my grandpa died and I didn't get a day off."
>she looks at me, disgusted
>"ha-ha... Heh-uhhhh. GOTTA GO!"
>mfw i realize this is why I'm never gonna have a gf
Oops, meant to put an exclamation mark after I said "off"
Oh boy this one hit me hard
>be me
>14 yr old freshman
>Had a crush on cutest Puerto Rican petite 10/10
>she often led me on
>fall deep in love with her
>don't ever talk just stare at each other until awkwardness
>she walks over and pats my head when this happens
>starts hugging me now
>oh boy big boy emotions are coming
>fantasize about marrying her
>Getting kids
>Dying together
>Get Deep deep in denile
>we playing around one day
>anon you're ugly af
>like anon you need help
>She was just joking right?
>She loves me
>she starts coming to school less and less
>practically never comes to school now
>semester passes she must've moved
>no worries, I'll just meet her again in life eventually and marry her
>she comes back to school next semester
>mfw she's back
>be me
>be 16
>had this really fucking cute girl in my class
>not very popular
>had good grades
>rode with her to school
>was like madly in love with her
>carved her name in the school desk
>next day
>Anon, did you write this in the school desk?
>"Uh, no, must've been one of the girls just to fuck with me"
>O-okay, Anon
>few days later
>school's over
>see her riding her bike
>ignore her, felt embarrased enough
>Suddenly she says she wants to ride home to her house
>Holy shit
>Ride to the crossroads
>She asks me to stop
>Anon, you're a bit creepy with the love stuff
>started crying
>Crying isn't gonna get you anywhere
>She rides away, to the sunset
>Never spoke to her again, she ignored me till high school ended

I hate myself
>living with my friend and his parents for a year
>get home from work one day, it's a Thursday and every Thursday night my friend and I camp out in the living room watching movies and playing vidya
>hear the tv going in the living room, think that he's moved his computer in there early
>poke my head into the living room and go "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOLB" is this really weird, groany idiotic voice
>his dad turns around from the couch and looks at me, visibly confused
>stare at him for a horrifying second before stuttering out "n-not Colby."
>speedwalk away
rekt lol
it's become so commen for me i can't even remeber
yeah...i'll bite
Weird fact: The "C" in vitamin C stands for Cringe.
That's why you cringe when eating lemons.
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>in college
>only talk to 3 girls, one I knew from highschool
>go the bathroom
>come out
>they act weird all day
>when I look at one she just laughs
>she whispers "stop touching yourself"
>go all the way home in a bus with one of them
>two girls on the street give me pic related face
>say goodbye, she has horror on her face
>say hi to the doorman
>in my room, look down
>my dick was out of my pants THE ENTIRE TIME

she whispered that because it was all red, also dicklet
>fuck dick
>jump in a fire
>get a hall pass to the bathroom
>realize I saw David's dick
>get a hall pass to David's dick
>be on the fence
>go to dry off my hair, when suddenly a temper at 9 PM
>towel to dry
did u just have a stroke?.
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does david have a big dick?
>be me,16
>at Chick fil a trying to order food
>asked what I want to eat
>mumble "chicken sandwich"
>the lady couldn't hear me
>she asks me again
>starts sweating and face gets all red
>staring at my feed
>mumble "chicken sandwich" again
>she says she can't hear me
>literally almost in tears
>speed walk away sad and hungry

I also hate myself
how could you not nice that...
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>8th grade
>Black girl walked with me to class, held my arm, laughed at everything I said and did
>She was actually cute, definitely out of my league, would definitely betray my race for simply because I doubt I could do better
>Didn't ever see any of the signs
>My black friend one day told me to ask her out, he had to practically spell it out that she liked me
>Work up the balls to ask her out
>"Hey Karina uh haha you want to maybe uh"
>"What are you saying, anon?"
>"Haha nothing"
>Go home and contemplate suicide
>Throughout the rest of high school I occasionally caught her looking at me and she would sometimes come up to me and try and make conversation
>Nothing ever came out of it
yeah sorry; I don't even remember what I originally tried to post
Try turning it off and then on again. Kim Jong Un's latest human right's speech makes more sense than this.
Was today actually
>in sainsburys doing my food shop
>the basket I was carrying was off balance and wanted to make carrying it easier to carry by moving my hand over slightly
>chuck my basket up slightly like you do and I drop my basket full of food all over the floor
>shout oops out loud while trying to put my food back in my basket
>can literally hear people snickering
>pick up my basket and speed walk to the next aisle and hide there for 5 minutes while everyone who was there leaves
>awkwardly use the self checkout while trying to avoid eye contact due to the embarrassment

Swear I am half autistic
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Fugg, I did that once. I was 12 and trying to order some Starbucks with mommy, mumbled the shit out of it and the guy kept asking me to repeat what I ordered, I was already having a bad day so after like the 7th time he asked me I just broke down crying.
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this is the new Has anyone ever been so far as to
>back in freshman year of highschool
>we were doing some shitty spectrometer expierement and had to look at noble gases with electric currents in them through a spectroscope
>one girl says to me "hey, anon do you know which element is in each tube?"
>I don't remember and I try thinking about it and I can't remember and I just Say "ummmm" for about thirty seconds
>they stare at me waiting for an answer as I look like a retard
>I just turn away in embarrassment and say nothing and pretend like they never said anything and I hear them snicker and laugh
>fuck my life
>be me
>knot drop on friday afternoon, see my friend
>be my friend not to disblame or see to it that make a lot of money
>knot to disblame or make a lot of money
>see to it that the price is right
>be friend dick in, have the cousins over for tea
>forget to notice autopsy on the man, two seconds later man dies
>forget to notice autopsy on the price, two seconds later man dies, two seconds later wipe out on the cousins over for tea
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>Be me, freshman in high school, fourth week of school
>qt Spanish exchange student girl in my art class, 9/10
>Realize that I'm taking Spanish
>get home, look up bunch of Spanish words
>up until 1 AM studying and memorizing Spanish words and conversations so I can welcome her to America in her native tongue
>that morning, period before art class, discuss my plan with friends
>remind me that in order to become an exchange student, you have to be fluent in English
>was up until 1 AM for nothing
>next period, go greet her in English
>needless to say, spaghetti fell out of my pockets and I got pasta all over her
>never talk again
>got a C on my next Spanish test.
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Probably helped to cement his already strong suspicions that you were smashing his son's fudge hole.
Ouch, boy you sure 'cringed' up that ordeal. Haha, but seriously man. You should've just told him to bugger off.
nigga what
>have a crush on a grill
>handing shit out to people in class
>give it to her
>she says "thank you"
>respond "love you too" on purpose as a joke
it was pretty much common knowledge i had a crush on her too, this wasn't even some subtle bit off "woops haha did i really just say that!", but just full on creepy autism
>be 15 yr old me
>somehow have a GF, just for kisses and cuddles actually
>it's her birthday
>we meet in school so I can give her a little present I bought
>i'm with my friends, she's with hers
>we meet in the hallway, she rushes at me for a short kiss
>autism modeengaged
>stand there for roughly 10 sec staring at her in complete silence, she looks at the me expecting to be wished happy birthday
>after 10 sec, I shout "why the hell aren't you wishing me happy birthday"
>everyone looks at me in confusion
>realize it's her birthday, not mine
>remain paralyzed for another 10 seconds
>anon are you okay?
>"y-yeah sorry, here's a present for you"
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>middle school, casual dance
>slow dance coming up
>ugly but nice girl with crush on me got me on her radar
>sees friend/crush
>"H-Hey Stacy, may I ha-ave this dance?"
>spaghetti begins slithering out of pockets
>"I really don't want to dance with Amy."
>Crush says "I'd rather not anon, I don't want my friends to take pictures--"
>got money in my pocket for concession food
>"I'll pay you three bucks!"
>Never talked to Stacy again
>Ugly-but-nice asked me to Sady Hawkins in Sophomore year
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>faggot kid is calling me gay
>try to make comebacks
>"bruh I'm inside your mind I know everything anon."
>Like an idiot I take the bait
>"Who's my brother than?"
>"I don't know anon, but he likes to suck dick too."
>Get's triggered
>attempts to hit him
>whole class looks at me
That afternoon, my parents get an email from my teacher on wanting to know more about violent behavior.
I was a pretty autistic kid. I have a lot of stories. Ask me anything
>Ask me anything
No. Just post more greentexts, faggot.
Autistic crush story?
>1st grade
>got a hundred on my math test
>I thought it was a bad thing
>people keep saying that I did
>Gets in an autisic fit and denies it.
>go to gym for the first time
>some instructor shows me everything
>yeah, since you've never lifted before, you should probably go for 15 reps during your first 2-3 workouts, to get the movement down. Then you can start a routine you like.
>take his advice to heart since I was actually clueless and wanted to start slow and do it right.
>on my third workout, still benching the 10lb bitch bar.
>instructor walks over: "Hey, don't you wanna add some weight to that?"
>n-no I'm fine, thanks.
>shakes his head and walks away.
>qt girl in highschool
>over the months I try to talk to her
>it must of been pretty obvious that I like her
>I knew alot of facts and shit so from time to time I would try to sound like an intellectual around her
>*fedora intensifies*
>Eventually it all come down to shit when I snapped and had an autisitc rage in the classroom form my last story
> long after I figured out that I was being a retard in attempting to talk to a girl
>convinced myself she was a cunt in order to stop liking her and embarrassing myself
>never tried to talk to a girl again.
this isn't autism. this is called being a retarded ugly faggot.
>Chick fil a

It's called Chick-fil-a? i always thought it was Chic-fil-a. This is a bit unsettling.
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>Pencil runs out of lead.
>"Oh well" put it back in backpack
>forget about it

>guy in class in front of me asks qt beside him for pencil
>she doesn't have an extra
>I pull out a pencil from my backpack and hand it to him
>"You're a life saver!" :)

>class ends
>he sets pencil on my desk
>walks away
>I suddenly remember about the leadless pencil
>click pencil
>no lead
>benching 10lbs.

Haha what?
>be me 10+ years ago
>still in highschool
>work as stockboy at grocery store
>walking past the aisles
>see big guy el salvadorean
>he has kids with my cousin, know him sort of
>he goes for a hi five
>I give him a high five, not knowing hes going for the down low too as we walk past each other
>ends up slapping my right ass cheek hard as fuck
>am embarrassed as fuck, speedwalk to back and try to forget about it

He's a huge black guy and theres like 5 blacks total in my town, the other black dude in the town saw the whole thing. The el salvadorean apologized to me either right when it happened or maybe the next time he saw me at the store. I know his apology was sincere and it wouldnt have been as awkward if I just laughed and said what the hell in a joking way and we both could have laughed about it.
you mean like this? why tho?
Another one

>be me, had dysfunctuonal cousin with addictions
>She always tried to borrow money or scheme for drinking money
>at the time she lived next door to me and my grandpa lived in a house across a medium sized field
>one day Im at my grandpas house and she comes in
>asks me for money
>I say no because she had no way to pay back
>she gets mad as fuck, slams the door and storms home
>My door was broken at the time so I watched her from window, sure enough she goes into my room and digs around
>I sprint over, confront her

>next week, back at grandpas
>look out window, see cousin walking up my front steps
>I jump up and sanic over mad as fuck ready to yell at her
>turns out its a different cousin, just looks like her
>not really close with that side of family at all, awkward as fuck
>i should have explained myself but went back to grandpas

I looked autismal as fuck lol, she said, "Have a nice run?" Jeez it makes me cringe thinking about it

I can't stop laughing at this story

thanks senpai
>Grade eleven
>Try to write a history paper on why the Holocaust was actually a good thing because the scientific advances made as a result of human experimentation outweigh the death toll in the long term

It didn't fly so good
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Nice one I keked
>he didn't make people like you in high school by always having a box of mechanical pencils, pack of gum, and bag of cheap candies in your backpack

sasuga anon
One time I was leaning on a table watching my science teacher show us something when the qtest girl in class comes and literally sits on my hand. She was wearing a short skirt, no tights , Britfag uniforms are hot as fuck man. She was interested for sure and always did things so I could see her knickers. Another girl did something similar to me too.

Hot tall thick girl who I always looked at but didn't think of much because I thought she was way out of my league, so I didn't bother even acknowledging her because no chance. After I leave school she messaged me on dba saying she would always try and get me to notice her. I pretty much laughed it off and never messaged her back.

This is more beta than autism. A failed normie is me, and to be honest I think that's more beta than always being beta.
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>high school
>just sitting eating my lunch alone
>people look at me like you would a cockroach

I'm not exactly sure what I did but I'm sorry
good you autistic meme spouter

Fuck off
Its okay Cyst, you'll be loved one day
Need some more stories, r9k always has good greentext threads
>be me in a special school in third grade
>i always kept pencils hidden in my pockets for self-defense
>teacher pisses me off. idk why.
>i try to run out of the class
>bitch retard handler tries to block me
>i stab the cunt in the leg
>i get out of school to play vidja for 10 days
>bitch retard handler has to get a tetanus shot
>when i come back i get transferred to a super autistic school
>i was not allowed to use pencils or scissors for an entire year after the incident
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>be me
>there is one black kid in the school and he is in my class
>constantly say racist things about black people, mostly about how they commit most crimes
>people start turning PC on me
>black kid snitches on me
>get sent to the principles office
>make up a story about him trying to sell me drugs and how he tried to fight me after I refused
>they believe me
>they search him and find ciggs and weed on him and found coke in his house
>he goes away to juvy and I never see him again
>mfw being racist is being realist
How were they able to search his house for a weed infraction? You live in the Bible Belt or some shit?

Also that's pretty funny I didn't know retards could type so well
apparently he had like a shit ton of weed in his backpack and he has got arrested for other dumb shit before
his parents probably consented to a search because they didn't want to risk going to jail/losing their property. just my guess.
do i have dyslexia now?
>in 7th? 8th? grade
>only have a 3 friends, all from elementary school we went to together
>friend has some dumb phrase he made up
>gets really annoying
>start using it to show him how stupid it is
>no anon you can't say it, it's my phrase
>think well then I just have to make it mine
>come to school with a $5 bill
>I want to buy that phrase
>anon what the fuck are you saying
>tells other kids what I just said
>more laughter
>tfw he wouldn't let me live it down
John your phrase was stupid as shit I hope you kill yourself like your dad did
I thought it was Chik-fil-a. I looked it up and it IS chick-fil-a.
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