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I fucked up today.
I'm a NEET. I haven't left my house in a couple months. I work a remote help job and live with my parents units. Well they went on vacation last week and didn't buy me enough tendies to last.
>9pm stomach churns
>decide to do the unthinkable.
>leave house after 2 months and go buy food.
>enter the zone
>patrickbateman.gif
>shit shower shave
>trim hair
>wash thoroughly
>give thumbs up to self in mirror.
>feeling pretty good
> grab keys, head out front door.
> lock house, light cig
> get into car.
> start car, classical music plays
>imprezzled me
> back car out and get to end of street.
> late night 1 car in distance.
> start to take left across street.
*BAM* *Ker-Thunk*
> midnight rider cycletard bolted out in front of me
> rolls across top
> heart stops.
> throw car in park
> jump out
> man moaning on side
> two cars roll up
> witnesses
> woman screams
> guy runs up to me "DID YOU HIT HIM WTF HOW FAST WERE GOING!"
>spaghetti
> manage to stammer out not my fault.
> call cops
> guy on ground starts pleading to me not to call.
> call anyway
> para-medics, fire department, sheriff and two patrols roll up.
> autism overload.
> cops get my statement
> hands never leave pockets, I cling to spaghetti
> cops tell me cycletard is drunk and refusing to be transported.
> cops told me no one is at fault.
> all my neighbors know my parents car.
> people start streaming out of their houses.
> surrounding me bantering about what happened
> anxiety is going 0 to 100
> parents get home Friday
> should I tell them what happened in the morn?
> cycletard said he was okay and walked home
> car paint is scratched and fucked
After it was all said and done I got in my car, lit another cigarette and drove a loop back to my house.
>MFW the first meeting I had with all of my neighbors was hitting some nigga with my mom's car omw to restock tendies and cola.
I tried so hard guys. I'm just going to give up trying anymore... I'm ready for the wizard life.
>>
Boring as fuck story famulosa
>>
>>26220215
I am boring, I'm a fucking NEET what else do you expect...
>>
>>26220149
"Man, whatchu.. tryna do.. u finna snitch? On.. me senpai..."
While lying on the ground with a concussion from getting hit by a car.
>black people
>>
Try again anon. Whats the chances of its happening twice?
Go get your tendies, you deserve them
>>
>>26220315
I think I'm just gonna hitup a 7-11 and buy some cheap cup noodle Ramen... I can walk there at least. I might sneak out around midnight.
>>
>>26220149
Here's what you do OP
>Go to store in parents now dinged up car
>Buy paint, the same color as the car
>Paint over scratches
>Parents see obvious shitty paintjob
>Ask what the fuck happened
>Get nervous
>Admit everything
>Get kicked out of house
>Stay with a friend a while, cleaning and doing chores and shit in exchange for living there until you get on your feet
>Get a good paying job, move out on your own
>Parents are proud of you
>Quit job, but pretend to have been fired
>Call parents crying
>Claim you were fired because you saw your boss breaking company policy and he fired you to defend himself
>Claim to be totally broke as well
>Drain funds and keep it all in physical currency, which is hidden
>Ask to move back in until you get back on your feet
>Parents give you money to help you out, still having some faith in you
>Move in and spend some of your remaining funds on poison
>Poison parents, time it so that they're not in the house when they die
>When police come, cry loudly, but accept your inheritance
>Have tendies delivered to your doorstep
>Buy sex toys
>Live the rest of your life in tendies based nirvana
Can't believe you didn't know how to do this.
>Inb4 I'll run out of money
Get AutismBux faggot
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>>26220695
Why would I kill my parental units when they give me NEETbux?
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>>26220804
NEETbux don't come from your parents, retard. It comes from big daddy Gov't. Your parents just give you spending money. Trust me when I say, NEETbux are better, plus your parents will have no choice but to give you ALL their money, since unless you have siblings, their money will go to you anyway.
Also it was a joke you fucking mongoloid.
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>>26220884
>mongoloid
>accurate description
>profound sadness
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>>26220149
>have a job
>NEET
fuck off
>>
>>26220149
Clearly wasn't your fault OP. Go get tendies and tell your parents the truth. Maybe work on moving out so you can safely tard in peace without having to answer to anybody.
>>
>>26220971
Remote work, I don't leave home and only do Linux support. If it makes you feel better my senpai got me the job and I didn't even interview. I have FF:XIV on one screen and I RDP to the workstations setup for us and run that on the other.
>>26220986
I was trying to save for a vehicle. Now I have to drop that on paint repair otherwise idk what to do about insurance. Adulting is too hard...
>>
>>26220149
>NEET
>I work a remote help job
Moron.
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>>26220236
your not NEET tho.
you said you work a help job in the beginning
>>
>get into car. You don't even take the effort to walk there? This is why I hate NEET's, you people disgust me.
>>
>>26220149
>Not just getting groceries delivered to your doorstep
It's like you're not even one of us, you filthy normie.
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