Who else here /adopted/? I was adopted from a poor country in Europe and taken to America when I was 2. Feel free to ask me anything and discuss adoption in general
>born in shithole Romania
>mommy gave me up to an orphanage
>don't know anything about her or my father
>get put in a shitty orphange where they feed me coffee cause waters too dirty
>somehow get chosen by a white wealthy couple and taken to the West Coast
and the rest is history..
holy shit dude I was literally thinking of making an adoption thread tonight
Anyone else ever feel like their parents tried to do all the right things, hugged you, told you they loved you and all, but it always felt like the genuineness that other parents had with their children was missing?
Like they didn't actually love me but they just said they did "because that's what parents do." Like they were playing a part.
That feeling of unconditional love moms have for their children is the result of oxytocin released during the birthing process. That feeling always seemed to me to be missing and I just wondered if it was the same for other adopted robots.
hey anon, nice to see you. i'm sorry for attention whoring i promise i won't do it again
i've thought about it, i think it'd be cool to be able to go back there and maybe find my parents but I honestly can't seeing it going that well. I mean what am I supposed to do? I wouldn't be opposed to going back there and checking out the area and seeing what could have been, but i don't care as much as i used to. Still might do it though someday if I could afford it. I actually always had this really dumb idea for a documentary/movie where I go to Romania to find my birth parents and I bring two friends along and we get into all sorts of crazy misadventures and meet tons of interesting people and I meet a girl and we fall in love and then at the end I find out she's my sister
mostly, I think as long as you don't try to hide the fact that they are adopted than it won't ever be an issue. I hardly even think about it honestly, i just was thinking about it tonight. my parents and I don't have the best relationship but I'm still glad I have them, and any hard feelings I have for them are unrelated to being adopted. If you tell them from a young age then it should be fine. Also try to adopt them when they're younger so they don't have weird emotional damage from not having a mother for too long or whatever
they did not, I would've been kinda bummed out by that
you just blew my mind
i didnt mean to talk shit on Romania, just from what I've heard, the conditions I was born in were pretty poor/shitty. Also I could be wrong but I thought I remember reading that the country wasn't doing to well in the 90's. I'm actually curious about it, I've never really talked to another Romanian. Have you ever been there? What's it like?
holy shit... i totally get this feel. I always felt like an obligation they had to fulfill more than their kid
Yeah dude. In my teenage years I really hated them for it, but I've come to realize it isn't their fault and they really tried the best they could.
I read a study a while back that adopted parents spend more money on their children than average but spend less time with them. It made perfect sense to me.
It kind of sucks when I think about my childhood, and I feel like I missed out on having that warm fuzzy family experience.
damn that's honestly crazy, I never really thought about the reason for their mediocre parents being related to being adopted. Did they also used to guilt trip you about being adopted? I was always made to feel like I owed them for being adopted. I hate admitting it but even though i have a lot of really good memories with my family sometimes I secretly think they kinda regret adopting me sometimes
I'd definitely be down to go check it out someday. I've also heard its gotten a lot better
i was imagining it like a stupid Adam Sandler type movie. Did your dad and his real father get along after they met? Do they still talk or was it like a one time meet up thing?
that's good to know
wtf, what more could they have done to show you that they loved you. This is my fear. I would give anything and everything for my children. Biological or not. But to have them turn around and feel unloved. That would just kill me.
Guilt trip? Absolutely. On my 18th birthday I told them I wanted to initiate a search for my birthparents and they started yelling at me because "they were my parents". It made me feel like I was an awful person for being curious.
Do you at least look somewhat like your parents? I always had the advantage of people not knowing about it unless I told them. I can't imagine how awful it would be if you went out in public and everybody just knew.
>get along after they met?
They got along but there were some questions that went unanswered and were only asked once. I'm pretty sure his father felt bad about the passed. He ended up anheroing in the end but we must have known him for at least ten years.
>what more could they have done to show you that they loved you
treat me like they enjoyed being around me
holy shit i got the same thing. It never turned into yelling at each other but they'd always be like "what we aren't good enough!?" and they'd get all passive aggressive about it
>Do you at least look somewhat like your parents
when I was younger I did, now I probably just look like my mom had an affair and my dad raised a cuckbaby. Its honestly not so bad though, the most common comments I get on my ethnicity is that usually people aren't quite sure where I'm from, or they think I'm jewish cause I have a big nose. I can't believe you went through so much similar shit, it sucks im sorry anon
aw im sorry anon, neglectful parents suck
that's sad and that's still better than some of the other stories ive heard about people in similar situations. maybe we aren't supposed to meet a biological parents, they gave us up so i doubt they want us to come back looking for them
I went to Catholic school and there was a handful of adopted kids there because of Catholic charities and all that. We seemed to all go through the same basic shit with our families and have bpd tendencies and addictive behavior. It really helps to know other people had the same experiences.
>i doubt they want us to come back looking for them
Well I don't know.... We did have some fun times together and we never asked much of him in fact Dad never even asked for valuable stuff from his estate but gave it to the relatives instead. I think that was his way of proving he wasn't a gold digger son.
It wasn't that his original parents didn't want him but rather they couldn't make ends meet and gave them up to the state as a matter of their survival.
>they couldn't make ends meet and gave them up to the state as a matter of their survival
that's probably more likely the case with a lot of these you're right. also your dad sounds like a good guy