>wake up >late for work >feel like I have to poop >have one-hour commute, need to poop now >sit on toilet for 5-10 minutes >now really late for work >all that comes out is a tiny shit with the consistency of melted fudge that gets stuck poking halfway out of the hole so I have to grab it with toilet paper, smushing it everywhere into my ass hair so it takes another 5 minutes to clean up >give up on pooping >leave apartment, get on bus >immediately have to poop >feel colossal turds slide into the secondary loading dock for exit procedures >hold them in >ten thousand PSI of gas builds up right behind it >want to fart so bad >know it will catapult my pants directly off my body and spray liquid shit all over the place >hold it in >spend 40 minute journey forcibly sucking turds back up into my intestine as they angrily push their way down into my colon every 5 seconds >get to train station >there's a bathroom >go inside >653 people, 3x5 feet >one stall unoccupied >door doesn't lock >fuck this >get on second train >continue holding in shits >finally get to work >have to walk 5 minutes to door >every single step i take feels like it's slamming a dook loose >clenching asshole harder than ever >get to work >rush to only bathroom >kitchen is 4 feet away with no door >three cute girl coworkers are in there chatting >need to take the noisiest shit ever >the bathroom door has a fifteen inch gap between it and the bottom of the floor >go back out into the parking lot >coworkers think i'm insane >walk around in circles with my hands in my pockets >spread my buttcheeks and try to let out hot farts that let the gas escape by sliding around the poo >feel slightly better >go back inside >girls are gone >take massive awful shit >in the bathroom for 14 minutes >everyone thinks i'm weird again >go home that night >take no shits >wake up the next morning >start over
>Quite a wile ago >Be me, walking large excitable dog >About halfway through the walk (I go the same route every day because I know it's about an hour) I feel a familiar feeling in my gut >thisisn'tgoingtobefun.xcf >Feeling quickly intensifies >My stomach feels like a dryer full of pot soil >My poor butthole slowly leaks a foul gas no matter how hard I try to hold it >Dog tries to run accross the street because two people are walking by >Let out a fart wetter than the Indian Ocean >Luckily not as shitty, although for a while I was very worried >Waddling, asshole clenched tighter than a captain's know >Finally get home, don't even bother to take dog's leash off >Run to toilet >Plot my thankful ass down, but nothing >Let out a fart >itbegins.mkv >My toilet is like a snow globe, my body can barely hold on as my guts empty everything it could remove into the porcelain throne >It doesn't even feel relieving, and my stomach begins to hurt from all the shitting. >My asshole continues to sputter and spurt shit, it's not diarrhea but it's too close for comfort >It ends >Wipe my ass in vain, wash hands, etc. >Feebly walk into kitchen and get a cup of water to try and regain fluids
>come home from business trip >nothing but shitty fast food from airports and germs from touching dirty public transport >haven't taken a shit in 2 days >drive home 1.5 hours from airport >extreme abdominal pain, writhing in my seat and rubbing my stomach trying to dull the pain >almost wreck the car several times >finally get home, leap on the toilet >sit there for 45 minutes, unable to shit more than tiny rabbit pebbles despite the pain >decide to wipe and lie down, but no toilet paper >fucking typical >stand up to walk to hall closet >both legs completely asleep, fall over and land HARD on laundry basket >hear sound like gunshot and excruciating pain in my ass >wince sharply and roll off laundry basket, sucking in air as wind knocked out of me >legs are on fire with pins and needles >gradually become aware of the sensation of shit slowly snaking out of my rectum like playdoh or warm soft-serve >stare blankly at poo spray on bathroom cabinet >lie there for 10 minutes until I can walk again
>Made the mistake of drinking something that I later came to realize was "Agave juice" >This juice consists of antioxidants, fruit pulp, juice, and other bits >Decided to try some out >It was pretty tasty >Decided to drink 2/3rds of the bottle >About 20 minutes later I don't feel right >I could physically hear that drink churning through my intestines >Shart myself before I realize nothing good could come out of this >Ran to the toilet >Sat down, only to have my asshole heave nothing for a solid 20 seconds >After that, the sound can only be described as water forcefully shooting out of a drainage pipe >Sit there for 5 full minutes, my insides cramping as the next wave of near-liquid shit comes pouring out >As this continues, it feels like I'm shitting out marbles >Finally stops after my sphincter gives one final wink and suddenly stops >The bowl reminded me of heavily watered down guacamole >Sit back down to make sure it's over >relieved, I get up >20 minutes later I repeat the whole process.
Been constipated for the past 2 days after eating a gas station pizza. I've had trouble shitting before but nothing has been like this suffering. Constant stomach pain, feeling of pressure and weight in my abdomen. I can feel the literal piece of shit stuck in me. Even had me puking up everything I ate yesterday. It feels lighter after eating prunes and lots of water but I'm still not right. I can feel the poison feces toxifying my whole body slowly. I feel like the last person on the human centipede. I wish I could reach into my intestines and push that shit out.
i usually shit once in the morning, and once in the evening/afternoon
>Be 15 >Be on trip with Grandparents >They feed sister and I icecream twice in one day >Not yet aware that I am lactose intolerant >Feel something brewing after second cone >Ignore it >Later that night >In bed, stomach starts to hurt >Not even "have to shit" feeling, more like someone punched me >Decide fuck it, go sit on toilet >Sit on toilet for 30 minutes, drop a tootsie roll >Only a precursor for what is to come >Go back to bed >Not 5 minutes later, hit with massive diarhhea pains >Doubled over with pain on toilet, churning out softserve >Grandma asks if I am OK every minute or so >Literally sweating at this point >Asks me if I need to sit in some hot water >"JUST LET ME POOP, GRANDMA." >"Ok, sweetheart." >This continues for another 45 minutes >Finally over, look back at my shit >Could nearly touch my butthole >Actually kind of proud of myself
it's a rather embarrasing family story at this point, the entire trip was quite the disaster. i think this happened the night before we left.
>>all that comes out is a tiny shit with the consistency of melted fudge that gets stuck poking halfway out of the hole so I have to grab it with toilet paper, smushing it everywhere into my ass hair so it takes another 5 minutes to clean up
>>26212325 I poop once every three to four days, it's been like this for as long as I can remember. I've never pooped more than two days in a row unless it was a stomach virus.
I'm in good shape too, eat healthy and not fat. When I do poop there is light blood when I wipe.
>had to take a shit at work >"c-can someone cover my shift really quick?" >manager:" I'm in a rush but sure I'll take your spot while you go to the bathroom" >take a good half an hour in the bathroom >hear on my walkie talkie my manager paging for me, then asking if anyone else has seen me >hear coworkers making jokes over the radio waves about falling in >coworker knocks on the door looking for me >pretend like I'm throwing up and said I might be a while >coworker tells my manager and suddenly my coworkers felt bad
Still didn't finish my shit but at least they thought I wasn't forcing a brick out of my anus.
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