Anon, wanna take a walk in the woods with us?
While you're wearing heels and shorty-shorts?
No way. I'm not gonna be your mule and carry you around.
Ditch the shoes and don't complain about the bugs and thorns and you have a deal.
"Nature's so ickyy I hate it why do you even like this stuff anon?"
"YOU invited ME"
"Whatever, hey Sarah can you hand me my phone?"
"Omg we should totally take a selfie, anon do you mind?" *hands you phone*
"Uhh I look so ugly, let's take another"
"Ooh this ones so cute, girl you eyes are so pretty I hate you"
"I'm gonna send this to my boyfriend"
"Hey anon will you carry my heels?"
"We should really do this more, I always feel so like connected to the forest when I come out here"
"We're in your backyard"
>Take girl in wood
>Eat body of girl 1 for food when cross ural
>Sell girl 2 to Sibir chief for land and many serf
>See I russian
>Invite me to raid
>Kill sibir chief
>Take back girl
>She not obey
>Sell her to turk for half empire
>Mfw the deal was barely worth it
No, intelligent men avoid women. Although I could justify this as a one time no-strings-attached experience, it'd just leave me wanting more
>take some bitches into the woods
>one of them regrets it later because they looked at their calves in the mirror two days later and had a hormonal breakdown
>claims you raped them in the woods
>other one supports her because she doesn't want to feel like a slut by comparison
>35 years in prison
Such is life in America
think you meant to type "right" not left