Welcome my friends.
I will be your bartender for the evening.
Have a seat, order a drink, or listen to the music.
Everyone is welcome here.
Tell me, why is your heart aching?
I actually achieved alot and I am happy with most of my life. The only thing i do not have is any game with females. I am still nervous around them.
But this is not even that bad for me, it's what is driving me to improve myself. I even fear getting a girlfriend because then i would have all i really want; a state that breeds depression.
I don't know...
I keep telling myself this year everything will change, but it's been a month already and i haven't accomplished anything.
Not even video games i was planning on playing, i'm lethargic and failing miserably at college, but haven't told anyone yet.
It can't be that bad, how big is it?
I tried getting a therapist recently but so far everywhere I tried isn't taking patients. They told me that the medicine didn't seem to be affecting me, which is why I asked for more and was declined. Bartender-San, I'm so close to climbing out of the pit. I need some kind of push that it feels I can't give myself.
>have to write an email
>normal person could do it in two minutes
>put it off for three days and lose sleep over it
>have to make a phone call
>can't do it
>Mummy can't do it either because her English isn't so good
>has to call one of her friends to do it for me
>walking home from therapy appointment
>cold as shit, pass a comfy-looking coffee shop
>intense craving for a nice hot cup of coffee
>don't go in because there's too many people and I'm scared I'll mess up my order and embarrass myself
>professor sends an email politely asking why I haven't handed in my term paper
>close the tab
>worry about it for a month until he finally fails me
>buying a Metrocard at the subway station
>a line has formed behind me
>the machine keeps spitting out my twenty
>freak out, step away and wait for the line to disperse
>same thing happens, step away again
>this happens five more times
>it takes me forty minutes to complete a simple transaction
>walk right instead of left when leaving my house
>instead of just turning back and going the right way, circle around the whole block so that no one would see I made a mistake
>girl from across the hall asks me to sign a card for our RA
>fumble with the pen she gave me, it doesn't want to write and my hands are shaking
>tell her I'll do it at my desk in my room
>she follows me in
>dirty clothes all over the floor, rotten food all over the shelves
>the longest silence of my life as I struggle to think of something to write on this fucking card for some cunt I've never met while this girl stands in the doorway of my room and realizes I'm a retarded, creepy failure of a human being
>get drunk for the first time and show my dick to a friend and ask her to rate it as a joke
>regret it as I'm doing so
>she cuts off all contact with me and reports me to the school
>she was my only friend
>see her around from time to time and feel like an asshole
I'm going to commit suicide soon. This is no way to live.
Have you told them that you have suicidal tendencies? That should jolt them a bit. Because obviously if meds weren't helping, you need something else. And it's their job to help you.
That's true, and I have some suicidal tendencies, I've never gone that far before. I really want to do the whole "man up" thing and willpower through it, but I really feel like I can't do it mentally. I will tell them and hopefully they'll medicate me with something more effective. I'm also afraid that my meds will alter my personality however.
GERD fucked my stomach and I cant enjoy a dark coffee anymore. It hurts to bad.
I used to drink black coffee with one of those 80% cocoa dark chocolates, leaving it melt in my mouth when I have a hot gulp.
Now if I even smell coffee I get acid in my throat. Its a bitter sweet thing, I both want it, and love the taste, and crave it still, but my body is physically rebelling to the mare thought of drinking more.
Mm, meds can have that effect yes. Attempting suicide is mostly a call for help, and while you have not gone that far yet, there is always the risk you might. "Manning up" is incredibly hard to do without someone by your side, as it can backfire into you cramming all those feelings deep inside you until they explode out. I would not recommend "manning up" as a course of action yet. Of course, part of being a man is owning up to who you are and how you feel. So the manliest thing you can do now is asking for help.
I tried decaf, it was like drinking non alcoholic beer. Feels wrong. Not too different, but uncanny valley tier difference, just that much to tick you off.
Tried drinking Inka too, old people here used to drink it instead of coffee when they get blood pressure problems. Same thing, it was different enough for me to hate it.
>have to put in job applications after months of rejection and failure
>no motivation to do so today
>barely even graduated high school
>stumbled through a series of community college courses before calling it quits
>parents pressuring me to move on to the "next stage" of my life
>strongly considering suicide, but parents keep the gun in a lockbox because they know I'm unstable
>meds running low, have to leave the house to pick them up tomorrow
>agoraphobic, so I'm borderline panicked about leaving the house
>have to do it, mom says she won't pick them up for me anymore
>trying to distract myself by listening to shitty rap rock while I browse /r9k/
I don't want to go through SSRI withdrawels, but I don't want to leave the house either.
I know you have heard all kinds of shit that normies think are "good advice" before, so I will spare you the time.
But I think you should take a step outside the house. And then another. Have earphones with music on, pull down your hoodie over your face, whatever. But take that first step for you old Bartender-san. I know you can
The bar is still open, for those in need of a word or a drink.
Come, my friends.
My heart is aching because i feel like i'm living without any purpose. I'm seeking inspiration but nothing can bring it, neither people neither experience. Everyone is saying that i should settle for less but with every bone in my body i feel that i'm not fulfilling my destiny if i'm not having my own way. I know that i'm missing something but i have no idea how it looks or where to find it. Oh and pint of strongest and darkest beer, bartender.
Why should you settle for less? They are just jealous beause you still strive for greatness while they have given up. I admire that in you, because I myself have nearly given up on my dreams and ambitions.
That feel of missing something and a yearning to go find it, whatever it may be, is all too familiar as well. How should we go about to discover what we seek? Might it be ourselves that we seek? I wish I had the answers we need.
One pint coming up!
I'll light a cigarette if it's fine with you. It clears my mind. The main thing is i dont have any dream or goal but there's still a feeling that i'm wasting time not achieving something. It's like being in between - i'm not desperate enough to kill myself but i'm not that optimistic to be ignorant towards life either. I consider myself hopeless but what would you call this talk? If i'd be truly hopeless i wouldnt even been talking with you, so something isnt right with me. I dont understand myself a bit.
Then you probably haven't foound a dream yet. Maybe you are like me, who unlike (seemingly) everyone else doesn't have a passion or a dream so strong that I wake up every morning determined to take one step closer towards it. In the evenings, before I sleep, my mind punishes me with angst over not having done anything with my life, not having a goal, and not having achieved something. I usually fall asleep knowing that tomorrow I will find a calling, tomorrow I will do something great. But when I wake up, all that gusto is gone and I just feel hopeless.
Sometimes I wonder if by killing ourselves we become free. Maybe on the other side of that noose or that barrel is the world we seek.
But maybe you are not like me, what does an old Bartender know? Maybe what you need is just to focus all that energy on something.
I try to go to class, I'm not a bad student by any means, but whenever I'm about to leave the door I walk back in. When I do go to class, I can't help but think everyone is looking at me and that I'm being silently watched over
Mmh, classic paranoia. If you can trust the words of an old bartender, I can assure you that it's just spooks. Or maybe everyone knows that it was you who killed Chad's sister Stacy last week. But I think not.
No, it is more likely that you suffer from a slight case of parania. Might I ask if these classmates of yours are good friends with you?
I don't have any friends in university. I have a few friends in the city, but I barely see them, maybe one or twice a month. Also, I can't seem to function "properly" when I have to go and get something. For example, I had to pick up my new TV from the front desk of my apartment, it took me 3 days before I could muster the courage to go and get it. While I was bringing it up. I felt like people were laughing at me. I dunno anon, thanks
A combination of anxiety and paranoia. Dangerous mix if applied to the wrong mind. Have you tried talking to a professional? I'm guessing you are tired to your bones of hearing shit like "just get out there!" or "get over your fears" or "just be confident". Normie-advice is cheap for a reason.
Or maybe it's just that easy. Take baby-steps out into the big, scary world. Start going to a local cafe. Sit there every few days and observe people. You will see that no one is laughing at you. But what does a dusty old bartender know?
Maybe you should start by talking to someone you trust. If you trust anyone.
Been here before, posted similar feels but shit's happened to me in the past few days to change them somewhat. Basically, I think I have depression and I'm scared about the future.
>18, going into university in September
>doing a degree with few prospects because I don't have the social skills needed to use it
>already have no friends, don't think I'll get any there (no gf for sure)
>my dog had a close call with death on Saturday
>basically shut down for 6+ hours until we knew he was fine
>already tired of school life and don't see much hope for the future
>can barely get the energy up to even get stuck into vidya anymore
>scared that next year I'm going to have falling more and more into depression than I already have
What the fuck should I do? I'm in Britain and our mental health services are fucked to all shit so "just go for a checkup" is pretty much useless.
The usual please
My heart aches for purpose. Right now, I'm focusing that energy on making a girl happy, little regard for my own happiness. I'm a senior in HS
>inb4 underage. I'm 18
I cant focus on all this college shit. Just feel like I can't be bothered. What I do want to do, however, is go on a mission trip scheduled for next Fall. It's been a plan in my head for a few months, but now that it seems like this could be a reality in my life, I feel like I don't want to do it.
Everybody I've told about this dream thinks that I'm not serious, which makes me want to prove them wrong.
>"Oh... Youre not joking?" "Gonna work at McD's the rest of your life? You can't get into any good college after your 'skip year'."
It's not a fucking skip year. It's my last chance to do anything profound before I become any other brick in the wall. I can't let myself pass by without doing any service. I've got love and adventure in my heart, and I can't keep that contained any longer. How the fuck can I control myself but let myself free at the same time?
The usual coming right up, mate.
What degree do you pursue? Is it something you have a passion for? Or was it just something convinient?
Is there a counselor you can talk to? Shools usually have one? It might help.
Do not get stuck in vidya, that is my final word. That will just make things worse.
It's late here in Sweden, and I must bid you good night. I have worked today, and I have work tomorrow again.
I'm considering making more appearances as Bartender-san in my own Frogs and Feels threads. But only if you want me to.
I hope my words, though they have been few, have maybe helped you a bit this evening.
Marketing and fucking management, literally the most normie subject of them all. I only took it because it was the only somewhat respectable thing I could possibly choose with my skill set and I didn't want the monotony of a pure business course. I have no passion for business, in fact I hate the "suits and tie" world sometimes but I still like learning about it.
>Is there a counselor you can talk to?
my mum is the school counselor. I'm not putting that stress on her, that's the last thing she needs right now.
>Do not get stuck in vidya
I know, vidya addiction can fuck you up but the thing is I can't even get regular enjoyment out of it anymore. The last game I "finished" was Forza Horizon 2, but that was only because I put the game to medium and got 1st in literally race.
Wait up bartender-san.
my grandma is getting a dog when we are short on cash, a puppy at that. then when i tried to talk to her about it she just stopped talking. it doesn't help that its me, two brothers, my sister and her (grandma) in the house.
I'm assuming that your in the US. If so,
>focusing energy on making a girl happy with little regard for your own happiness as a senior in HS
Don't do that. It doesn't matter how great of a girl she is, it's not worth it if you have to suffer for her happiness. If she's a good, mature person then she would realize/know this as well and would not want you to sacrifice your happiness for her.
I don't really know what a mission trip is but both your friends and you are wrong about the whole college thing.
You can "take a year off" and even if you didn't then you sound like the kind of person who wouldn't even know what to do in college. So after you're done with that mission trip (whatever that is) apply to a community college to get cheaper credits and transfer those to a legitimate, non-for-profit school.
>The time before I go to college is my last chance to do anything profound before I become any other brick in the wall
You don't really feel this way do you? You think the peak of your life will be at 18 years old? It's not like you'll never have the chance to travel or experience new things after you start working full time.
Barkeep, gimme a cranberry vodka please.
I am supposed to make something of my life but to be absolutely and totally honest, I have no clue on what I should do.
Then there's autism and my secluded life becoming an obstacle, I almost feel like I should just give up.
But giving up feels so definitive, I'm still hoping things will change for the better.
Lets talk about close calls robots. This made me reflect and it happened quite recently.
I met an old friend and she's about the same age as me. She got knocked up about 2 years ago and her life has pretty much fallen apart all for this kid she really can't afford.
I on the other hand, almost had a kid about 2 years ago and I met her now husband. Holy shit, it was alternate dimension me. I won't say I'm happy about the abortion, that's not it. But it was definitely the best outcoming considering that cheater told me she's hated me since even before that.
I'm doing better now, but not much. Shit like that really makes you self-reflect.
Marketing isn't THAT much of a normie subject. You're likely going to be working with computers and data in later courses and also when/if you actually start working in that field.
If you have really, really bad social skills though you're not going to get any job, let alone one in marketing/business.
Man, you should have talked with your mom about this. Obviously you can't now because you say she's stressed, but you should have talked about things with her earlier in the year and/or earlier in your lifetime. Hasn't she ever asked you what you wanted to be when you get older? Didn't she ever tell you that it's okay to pick a major that's outside of your skill set? That's what intro courses are for.
Don't worry, you can always just change your major if you find something else down the road.
I've put on three to four stone in the last 8 months or so. OCD problems seeping back in and worried about my mother.
>OCD problems seeping back in and worried about my mother.
Don't blame it on that shit. You're gaining weight because you're eating too much, simple as that. Yes, you may feel emotionally conflicted and that these things cause you to stress eat. Resolve that shit and you'll lose weight.
I have fine social skills, but I always seem to fuck it up somehow and I always, ALWAYS end up the third/fourth/fifth wheel of any social group I wriggle into. I could make contacts and the like but it's whether I'll be able to motivate myself to do so is the issue.
>you should have talked with your mom about this
That's the thing, there has ALWAYS been an issue in her life that's taken precedent. My dad died when I was 7, and since then it's not been a steady ride whatsoever. The past year we've had a major house move, a dead dog, depressing shit with grandparents and more.
I was at my worst when I was around 11-14, often crying at school and the like. I don't think those feelings have gone, I've just managed to hold them back much more.
>major university stuff
That's not how it works in Britain unfortunately. We don't have majors, we just have one subject we pick at 17/18 that we have to stick with. What subjects we can pick are based on what A-Levels you chose, and with mine I have no room for anything else but a dead-end English course. There aren't intro courses here at all, and changing requires significant financial and mental strain.
Thanks for talking, anon.
I am pretty much a normie, but I still don't know where to find girls. I want to get to know a girl a little bit before asking them out, but I don't know where to do this. Everything seems like you need to either ask them out the first time you meet them, be impersonal through tinder, or pick them up at a party when they are drunk.
At least you don't live in a shitty country while you're getting drunk every weekend since july.
>went into cocoon mode almost 2 years ago
>lost 120 pounds
>started with the Greeks
>learned to cook
>got a nice job
>learned to budget and manage my own finances
>learned to appreciate small things
>became sincerely (and esoterically) religious
>came out of cocoon
>now incapable of relating to the people around me on any level
>all of the conversation I have amounts to a sort of contrived series of steps taken to make sure that nobody thinks I'm weird
i have no one to talk to
no internet friends, acquaintances, nobody
i turn to omegle but that's useless
i turn to interpals but it's too normie-core
i turn to facebook but it's too normie-core
nobody uses tinder here
i have no one to talk to
here are some songs that keep wrecking my mood
can i ask you guys something? i wanna get this off my chest
is it weird to have skype friends that you dont even know their full names? ive been talking to one guy about everyday for 2.5 years now, i met him through someone irl. iwant to leave the internet, skype included but i dont know if doing that is considered rude especially since they are nice and do care about me. weve even talked and asked if one day we would want to meet irl. my main concern is that if i leave for like a year theyll call my house. am i being irrational? ive left for 2 months before, and another time 3 weeks, nothing happened but they did post a video on their channel and the description said my first name and asked me to come back. ive never given anyone my address or number but they do know my parents name and you can find addresses. im so bi polar with it, somedays ill feel like i have friends and the next day ill be like "i hate myself, i stay online all day with people i dont know irl and ive shown them my face and they know my parents names"
>already 20 and still on the first year of college after being 2 years wasting my life in another degree
>failed 2 out of 6 classes so far
>it's a worthless degree so i won't get a job unless i have excellent grades
>feel worthless for still being completely dependant on parents
>balding but still have acne
>barely have any motivation to exercise
>pretty sure i have AvPD and at leatsa mild depression
>too afraid and too poor to get therapy
>at first glance seem like a normalfag but i'm a kv with only 2 or 3 weaboo "friends"
it's a White Russian, mr Bartender-san
The crushing idea of my own morality
is honestly just fine with me
As long as I get my life and sing
as long as I still have my wings
I will shimmer with the loudest sound
and I will never touch the ground
You hear that
the thumping war
the war drum
that asks for more
You hear that
the crying bird
the flap of wings
the war wants more
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
of this decrepit hell for all these years
whatever soul I was given, I curse the gods
for letting me stand by all odds
I whine and cry out loud
but I still won't bow
Some Smirnoff. Just leave the whole bottle as usual barman.
Die Kill Yourself Stop Breathing
These words keep echoing in my head
I just want to be dead
To stop living, to fly away
and to hope for a better day
Because no longer does life
provide light for me
Life is just an excuse
So let me pack up and leave
Couldn't tell ya, you gotta ask around and find some without getting caught. If you know anyone who sells weed maybe ask them if they know anyone. Or try a nightclub/smokepit people.
Yea you gotta snort it. If you gum it then your gums will go numb but thats all you will feel. Snort it will give you an actual buzz. Lots of energy, sharp/quick thinking, happy and talkative. Of course it's addicting and expensive though, personally I do a gram ($80-$100) once every 2-3 months when I can afford it.
>Qt new girl at work
>Introduce myself to her
>We chat for a bit, things go great
>Think about asking her out the next time I see her
>Few days later using tinder
>By fate fucking see her on it
>"Proud single mother"
Holy shit lads, god is real and he just saved me.
Although I still walk the lonely road....
the only road is to the grave,
and no other to this day
But at least you can say,
I'll take the scenic route this may
and maybe even live,
to try again, I say
But what about yesterday
The pain won't go away
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.
need to make some new poems
Bicardi 151 please, I need something strong tonight.
I'm that 3d artist from the previous thread,
I'm well on my way to my career making me financially sucessful, but I'm feeling like no matter how much money I make no one will ever love me because I'm a manlet and am socially awkward. Even though in HS I had tons of girls like me and even courted them, I've just lost my backbone now when it comes to women, and I'm stuck in a huge rut and can't seem to pull myself up no matter what I do.
anons questions about drinking
so im buzzed and feeling good. but im hungry. i know that food absorbs alcohol? will eating kill some of the buzz? i mean does it happen right away or does it take awhile? i almost dont want to eat at all
Heya Barkeep, usual Cuba Libre please, extra libre.
I found out that my job isn't exactly here yet. There's still two more people the person's gotta interview. Kinda took the winds out of my sails and now I'm afraid that I won't be able to get this job. Dad said I have a good chance still, and the interviewer has said nothing but good things about me. But I'm still a little apprehensive.
I'll have to go back to feeling worthless again
So, there's this really quiet girl I like at work, and recently I found her tumblr. I've found myself compulsively checking it every night, and I feel like such a fucking creep for doing that (She mostly just posts personal rants about work, video games, anxiety, and art. Nothing super personal).
It's so hard to talk to her at work because A: She's quiet as fuck and looks like she's about to have a panic attack whenever she tries to hold a conversation with anyone, B: we never work the same hours, and C: naturally I'm equally shit at holding a normal conversation, especially with someone I'm interested in
I just need a good excuse to talk to this girl more often than like one hour every week, but I don't know her well enough to just ask for her skype or number or anything. And I feel weird just walking into work on my off days "just to say hi". Also, I live like 30 minutes away.
I'd fucking kill myself.
No, I've yet to be mentioned in her blog, though she has made a couple posts about a game I told her she should check out, so at least she acknowledges me as a human being.
Nice dubs anon.
Do you want some advice? She's your coworker, so make sure there's no rules about dating coworkers.
If you really want to get to know her without seeming creepy, do not, I repeat, do not bring up her blog or any of the content on it cold turkey.
You have to ease into it.
Is she a tumblrina or just someone who has a blog?
I have been getting worse. I can feel what little social and mental function I have left leaving me. I get more and more paranoid, depressed ,and afraid of the world. I don't really even know why, maybe because I had some goals after leaving high school only to fail on all of them.I have always been afraid leaving the house, but I still managed to leave, but now I really can't leave.I hate everything in my life and have no friends, stable family. etc. I thought about getting pills but I would need to call the psychiatry office, and that just sounds laughable to me right now.Suicide seems like a more easier option at this pint, but I guess I am lucky enough of a lazy pussy right now to not try it, yet.Sometimes I wonder if the normies are just making up being happy and doing all the things they say they do. it just feels so strange to me what all they do.
All of this, I know it well.
>Nice dubs anon.
Thanks, even better trips.
I am making damn sure not to mention her blog or anything that she's posted recently. I feel guilty and feel like I should just tell her, though, but for now I think it's best to keep that shit buried.
I'm worried that she'll be quitting soon (guess how I stumbled upon that tidbit of intel), which means I'll have no (respectable) reason to contact her after she leaves. But we never work the same hours, so... I dunno, I might have to be more forward at some point.
Nah, she's closer to the 4chan archetype than tumblr, if anything.
Posted this in another thread and it died immediately because
>get out normie reeeee
Here we go
This slut loves me and idk what to do... I've been leading her on and she's coming over tonight... She's fucked over 20 guys but I've fucked over 20 girls...I don't want to get feelings for her cuz she's a whore but she's the first girl I don't want to murder in like 2 years
>mix 8 servings worth of whiskey sours in large sports/fitness drinking bottle
> do this because itdispenses drinks nicely through the little sip spout and when it's sealed I can use it as a shaker
>get done mixing
>look at bottle
>bottle looks at me
>10 minutes later I've drank it all
I hurt the rest of the day, this was a few days ago.
Yeah she's the only girl I've ever met who will talk to me about philosophy. She also smokes weed and I drunkenly told her about all the horrible things that have happened in my life. This made her fall in love with me and she's been taking me on dates for like 3 days since then.
Nice, didnt even notice I got trips.
Alright anon, here's what you gotta do my man. If you really wanna pursue her, make a small joke about something she likes that you do. Don't do it out of the blue, after a customer or something does somethign that allows you to connect the dots then you can do it.
Make SURE that it's something you have a mutual interest in if possible.
If you're worried about her quitting soon, what I advise is
making a blog and following her blog after you've had yours for awhile. Then try talking to her online if possible. There's a decent enough IM service you can utilize. Once you talk enough and establish a sort of friendship you can then make your next move by dropping hints about where you live. IE talk about recent happenings or maybe the weather as of late. When it finally dawns to her that you guys have a lot of similarities ask if she'd like to meet you. Make sure you ask her to someplace like Starbucks or a place she'd like. Feign surprise that you used to be coworkers or maybe pretend to not even recognize her. Tell her that you had fun and would like to do it again sometime. If everything works and you guys start to go steady, then you can admit your master plan.
But of course if it goes wrong you can just
block her and forget anything ever happened. It's scary and daunting but if you really want to do it, you'll try something Anon. Tumblr Girls are surprisingly easy to talk to
tl;dr: Make slow precise movements.
Evening friend. Just stopping in from the cold. I'll take some Scotch, if'n you have it, no ice. I'm cold enough.
I'm stuck on where to go. I have no clue what career path to focus on, business, broadcasting, take up a trade perhaps, maybe psychology. I got nothing to believe in, no one to hold me, and nothing to go back on.
At least I got a chance to turn it around. Young and in my prime, after all. 19 years of age, world at my feet.
Wish me luck, old man. I could sure as hell use it.
Why are you here seriously?This is why I dont talk or get help, There is seemingly no depressed lonely losers anymore that understand what living as a loser is like.How you can post this so casually scares me and cant say I understand your life. Sorry for getting mad but seriously I just dont get it.
I've been here for five years mate my life is shittier than most peoples and I've suffered a lot of trauma. I just have an amazingly strong persona that lets me walk among chads (I'm also attractive) and this is the first time I've ever blatantly said something so normie. I usually pretend to be a virgin but right now I really need help
ive already missed 4 classes of calculus, its the start of the semester and i didnt intend to, it was just really awful circumstances, i dont know if ill make it
hit me up with some russian standard family
No dude it's not that's wizard chan... Why the fuck would I lie? I have nothing to gain... I'm sorry I offended you. I wasn't even a virgin when I first came here I just hated everyone women especially. This place let me channel that hate into sex. Now I'm falling for one of my victims.
Idk I guess you're right I just don't know what to do I feel like I deserve better but a part of me knows I'm a degenerate piece of shit who doesn't deserve pure love
If you get that opportunity, things could go really well for you anon. It's one of those things where you'll know it's the perfect moment (hopefully) and you'll be able to go for it. There are always moments like that in life, you just have to be able to make the decision to commit. It's tough and it wrenches your guts, but I have faith in you anon. Good luck man.
Taking a break from /pol/ until the 9th. Strongly suspect Trump will win N.H. and when he does I'll bask in the shill damage control and glory. If he doesn't I'll give up on politics for a bit.
On a more serious note, I'm having a really strong internal conflict, I've been reading a lot of right wing populist literature and fascist literature and I'm slowly becoming more and more fascist and it contradicts every belief I've previously held.
>the whole point of this board is that it is virgins only
'fraid not buddy. No where in the rules does it say virgins only. What ever happened to
that Robot Exodus? :^)
Become an Ancap, trust me. It has the capitalism of a right wing ideology but none of the terrifying nationalism. Or go for minarchy, if you aren't ready to commit to a radical ideology like anarchy.
I haven't gone on campus un two weeks. I planned on doing well and getting my shit together but it seems like not this semester.We have to force ourselves to go or nothing will change.
>40 minutes ago
>in bed at uni in UK
>get drunk call from 18 yo kazakstani girl that I made out with in a club, took out on a date, then never replied to my texts
>she says that she's walking home from the club
>offer to go meet her and walk back with her
>throw clothes on, grab 2 condoms, meet with her 5 minutes later
>while walking back she says that she's sorry she never replied to my texts, that her friend has been in trouble the last month blah
>but then she starts saying that she wants me to be her boyfriend
>and that in Kazakh relationship is exclusive
>and she repeats this like 5 times each time I say yes
>and she asks me do I want her to be my girlfriend or do I just want one night stand
>and I say girlfriend
>and she says "are you sure, because right now if someone ask me I'll say you are my boyfriend"
>and I still say yes thinking I can date her for a couple of weeks and break up with her
>we get to her room
>sorry, I just need to go to the toilet first.
>while I'm left there I remember "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
>she knows where my room is because she's been there once before
>what if she does something crazy?
>I had actually arranged to meet up and fuck a girl tomorrow night. what if she constantly phones to check on me? same for this weekend
>not sure what to do
>she comes back and her skin is so warm and soft that I continue making out with her
>she starts squirming like crazy
>go down on her and her pussy feels surprisingly loose but nvm
>the worry and guilt of what I'm doing increasingly wrack my brain
>the fact she wants the lights totally off so I can't see her isn't helping either
>feel my cock going soft
>as I'm putting my condom on I stop and say
>"I'm sorry, but I lied about wanting to be your boyfriend because I wanted to have sex and I want to stop now before we have sex before I do something worse than I have already"
>she says "that's ok, I just want to fuck"
I actually have a blog where I post progress on a game I'm making (Well, I've put it on hold for the current semester, but still). So I'll probably bring that up in conversation next time I see her. I think she'd find that interesting, since I know she's an artist, so she must have some respect for people pursuing a creative outlet.
I didn't even think of that; thanks for the advice, anon.
We've already discussed stuff we're both interested in, so thankfully that's established. The main problem is that we're both awkward fuckballs, and can't hold a conversation beyond "haha, have you played that game?" "Yeah hahah its so good" "I know haha yeah totally haha." Though the other day we actually had a decent conversation about Fallout 4 - finally, somebody IRL who agrees with me that the writing and quests were shit and would be the perfect Fallout game if they got Obsidian to come in and re-write everything. She's smart and has good taste, that's why I think I'm so attracted to her.
I think you got me wrong, this "terrifying nationalism" is what's so alluring to me. I'm a good capitalist economically but I think that culture and tradition are things worth preserving and the control of the state and the church is generally required to maintain order. The only problem I have with the state's current brand of fascism is that it's globalist as opposed to nationalist. Globalism isn't sustainable.
What that also has is the inherent weakness and instability of libertarianism, and the corruption and amorality of rampant capitalism.
All it takes is someone to gain the upper hand and force his will upon the people. Think of what could have happened with the Robber Barons, if they were able to take control of the entire nation.
Good on you my friend. But do take a break from /pol/. Don't burn yourself out on the redpill. You need time to adjust to it.
Fight the Good Fight brother.
Bartender, bartender, get me some more Innis and Gunn while I pluck the last one out of my own fridge.
New job's going good (good pay, I'll start Monday) and the town's relaxing but for some reason for the past year or so I've been holding onto grudges like some kind of mythological angel of judgement. I'm trying to move past things but I've always got this huge cloud of anger or whatever (I sound like I'm role-playing a goddamn Sith but I just can't think of a better way to say it) that I can never quite let go.
On the bright side, hopefully I'll be making enough money now that I'll be able to console myself a little more.
Because with a globalist state, the power would have to be centralized, and heavily. All the power would end up in the hands of a small elite class, while the rest of the world works in squalor.
Hey hey that's good anon. Try mentioning your game if you've got the guts. Just structure it like this
>oh hey I'm making a game anonette, it'll be better than Fallout 4
>yeah I've done this and this, I even have a little blog set up for it. It's on hiatus though since I'm busy with school though but I do update it from time to time
>oh what? you have a blog too? do you wanna follow each other?
Bingo, there you go man. Just try not to sound too forced, relax and take it easy man. Once you guys are mutuals it should get easier.
Do you want to exchange urls so we're in touch? I can give you more advice if you'd like.
Yea /pol/ now was fucking killing me, I can't believe there's really a coordinated effort to shitpost on the politics board of a Japanese owned American anime imageboard.
I really want Donald to win but if things look down for him /pol/ will be insufferable. A youtuber I quite like is already counting on a shillary win even though he supports Trump and compared Trump to McGovern, and said that eventually the left did win but not until the 90's so I won't entirely lose hope but it'll be a huge blow.
How do you do, barkeep?
I've been pretty sick lately. Unfortunately, my work load won't decrease for a while so I think I'll only get sicker in the foreseeable future. I like to be busy, but I don't like to be sick.
I'd like a shot of Nyquil, neat, if you stock the stuff.
>my cock is still soft though
>don't think it will get hard anymore
>she still wants to have sex and grabs my 100% soft cock and puts it into her vagina
>and it goes in easily
>normally that is impossible
>with my last gf I had to be like 50% hard to get it in initially, and even she felt loose sometimes
>with the girls I've more recently been fucking, I've had to be like 80+% hard to get it in
>I pump my flaccid cock in and out of her for a whilewondering if it will get hard but it doesn't
>she's still moaning and wriggling
>pull out and decide to finger her
>she takes two fingers easily
>asks for a 3rd finger
>she takes 3 fingers easily,
>start fingering her hard with 3 fingersand she gets close to cumming ut probably doesn't
after that she said she was tired and I got my stuff. she said goodnight and I said sorry for lying to her and she said "no more texting" and I said ok.
I feel like I dodged a bullet. I'm 5.5 inches in girth whe I'm erect but she would probably need like 7 inches to stretch her out.
I probably could have fisted her and she would have liked it.
there's no way I could be with a girl that loose. it would be like throwing a hotdog down a corridor. like plunging into nothing.
The main thing was that I felt a bit salty before because this girl had stopped replying to me just after we went on a date, so the fact that she asked for me again and wanted me gave me that ego boost back.
But god damn all that weird Kazakhstani shit about making me promise to be her girlfriend before fucking her, that really weirded me out.
Never understood alcoholism, my father has it and he has a pretty great life
I got drunk a couple of times during highschool but that was to have extra fun, I don't miss it at all
>it'll be better than Fallout 4
Holy fuck hahaha, that's way too brash. No, I'd say something like:
>yeah, it's absolute fucking trash, but it's MY trash.
I think I'm good; I've got a battle plan now. Just gotta wait till we work the same hours. Hopefully next week. I really appreciate your interest in my case, though.
Glad to hear, I'll be back in an hour and I'm usually here in the bar whenever it's open!
No worries, I'll be crossing my fingers for you.
I'll be here in an hour, I'll listen then. You can spill your guts now if you'd wish
Great, you are not very enthusiastic but I will take what I can get ;)
Turns out I have antisocial personality disorder, I had it all my life. It sounds edgy but I don't really feel any empathy for anyone or love. I met an amazing girl who liked to Hugh me and she moved to another country and I didn't feel a thing, I almost loose my cousin due to several ilness and I didn't feel anything either, my best friends dad died and nothing at all. I even remember loosing grandma when I was 10 and feeling sad that I had nowhere to go on Sundays now.
What do you think about that? I always thought it was normal
It's a pretty easy trap to fall into, especially if things in life are bugging you. Helps you relax, helps you smile, seems to brighten up your world until you take a step back and realize what it's doing to you.
Kinda like how a guy with a hot gf might still watch porn, I guess.
Well I can't really relate to others peoples feelings, I can understand why people do things but not really feel empathy for them
So what you are saying kind of doesn't make too much sense to me
I met a girl a while ago and I can't get her out of my head.
I've never related so much to someone but she lives in europe and she's taken.
We talk everyday and I feel we've become really close for knowing each other such a small amount of time and I can't help but feel a bit of something around there.
But I just want her out of my head, I'm feeling like complete shit because I will never be with her but this is the first time I've ever had these kinds of feelings, almost an obsession, and I just can't let go.
I've been getting better. I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I fucked up on the GRE. I recently began to study for it again. Every night, I spend at least 2 hours over the math and verbal section.
The rest of my life is shit though. I donated plasma the other day and air rushed back into my arm. I don't have health insurance so I'm just hoping that the pain and the bruise will go away soon.
Also, the other day I was going on my way to go pay for gas and a car full of women began honking their horn at me and waving. I ignored them. I'm pretty sure they were just making fun of me.
Please /r9k/ help me I fucked up big time I slapped my mom and I feel like shit but I feel like I was right it's because she called my father the man who gave me food for 19 years straight and was loving to me that right now is comatose a useless cunt waste of money I know they have a rough relationship.But I dont know if was I right.
You're somewhat right, but she just probably spurted something out, maybe even from the pain of her husband being comatose.
Slapping her was not a right move, a stern look or a couple words go long way.
I wouldn't get mad or over think it unless she just flat out doesn't cares for him, apologize to her.
I would say you are right, but its a little much to slap her.I mean you are in the right and I might have done the same, but you let your emotions get to you.She probably was just letting off some stress but yeah I wouldn't have just sit there hearing something like that.If you want to things to be ok, you need to apologize. It might be hard to do it, but its really the only way I to fix it. unless you have had enough then you might need to leave the house and cut contact.
>dad blew his brains out on Thursday
>step-dad's spinal cancer is back
>mother has started drinking again, on probation after d.u.i.
>grades are going to shit
My life is falling apart and there's nothing I can do about it. I just want to hug someone.
I never got passed the elementary school phase of picking on girls rather than just saying that I like them.
I am worried that trump will lose. If trump loses i will probably spiral into depression and either go political elliot rodgers or an hero. I seriously don't think i can handle shillary.
You don't 'need' it, but by the same token you don't 'need' to browse Mongolian robotics forums all day. You probably recognize browsing 4chan frequently isn't the healthiest thing you could do with your time, but it's easy and familiar.
My life would probably be a lot better if I spent less time here, but I rationalize it by saying there are a lot of worse things I could be doing. Like alcohol, or harder drugs, or whatever else.>>26215794
I'm here again
I'd say that if you want to get help for it you should seek out a professional. If you're happy with not feeling anything then cheers to you anon.
Some people would be glad not to be able to love or empathize, epsecially with all the pain and frustrations it can bring.
Hey Anon, if you want to talk to someone you should. I mean, The Bar is open to it's patrons and all but sometimes you gotta talk to a real person instead of someone anonymous across the screen. Are there any counselors you can talk to at school, I know this is /r9k/ and all but maybe even a friend or another relative?
I hope you're being humorous m8, as much as I want HillShill to lose as well, it's really not going to change much. Prez has some powers but really can't make too many sweeping changes. If Prez is corrupt as all shit, well so is the rest of the govt so that's really just business as usual. If she's incompetent, Congress will just cockblock her to hell and back.
Don't worry too much about politics, we live in Burgerland, we're pretty safe.
I don't think you understand how important this election is gonna be. We are talking about the survival of america. If hilary wins she will let in the muslims. Europe is burning. Sweden, germany. I don't wanna see america be next.
The problem is that a lot of the conservative supreme court justices are getting old. I'd hate to see scalia having a medical issue and getting replaced by some tolken black female judge.
I think the bartenders are out of commission for now so I guess I'll serve the drinks up if you guys don't mind.
Unless you folks are just about done, then I'll just close her for the night.
>too anxious to leave my room and cook something because my roommate is home
>really hungry but no ready to eat food in my room
>Also, no motivation to do anything
>just wanna lay in bed all day doing nothing except sleeping and starting at the ceiling while listening to music
>can't do that because of work and school obligations
>can't even do that on the weekends because of family related obligations
>depression and loneliness gets worse everyday
>can't take antidepressants because of another disorder I have
>therapy isn't helping either
I just want to eat something and just have a day where I do fuck all and just lay in bed. And I just want someone to talk to who genuinely cares about me and what I have to say because my family and "friends" certainly don't.
Anyways, get me a nice stout or IPA. Preferably a stout.
>too anxious to leave my room and cook something because my roommate is home
One of the worst feels in the world my man. Is your roommate going to do anything for the 14th? Maybe that could be your day of doing nothing and just being a comfy person all day.
Here's your drink my man, enjoy it. Hopefully it mellows you out.
Didn't think about that, Obama kinda hurt bluecollar a lot with his immigration 'policy'. My hope is Hill is establishment enough that she'll follow the Illuminati line rather than the Insanity one, Obama was a bit of an outsider and the longer this goes on the more I really do think he is just straight-up not-very-intelligent.
Buying weeb stuff is a slippery slope. It can get expensive too. I wouldn't buy anything unless you actually like the character and can spare the money.its not worth buying it just for keks.
It was just a little chibi figure figured I could put on my desk, but I'm afraid it's one step on a slippery slope to full blown autism collecting.
That's what I was afraid of. I have a bit too much disposable income and way too little self control.
>full blown autism collecting
It's indeed a slippery slope anon. A friend of mine bought me a little keychain of a character I like and now I have a bunch of keychained characters on my wishlist.
Be careful and buy responsibly
i think i might be in love with my best friend and i hate seeing her with other guys. i keep trying to suppress these feelings because there's no way i'll ever date her and i don't want to damage our friendship since without her to keep me company when i need it i just might kill myself but they always come back to haunt me and i don't know what to do
>inb4 cuck etc
just a vodka please
Like figs like nendos are nice. But yeah figs are a hell of a drug.just be careful if you do get it to carried away.If you have little self control figs can drain you.I went from just one little fig of a character I like to having a whole desk full of them.And always think at least a day before buying anything.
I think what bothers me isn't so much the buying stuff, but the fact that I'm kind of getting the waifu feeling now. I'm not big into anime, but out of the series I've watched I haven't really cared that much about the girls outside the context of the show. And then one comes along and I can't figure out if the character just fit's my idealized version of what I want in a girl or if I'm so forgone I legitimately wish a 2d character could be my gf.
Bottoms up friend. Try finding a mutual interest or just going straight at it and talking to her.
What series is it if you don't mind me asking? I don't have a waifu per se but I do collect pictures of anime girls I'm fond of.
I'll admit that I do want a dakimakura but that's just for jokes. It's a scary feel anon, that's a fact.
I know that feel. I liked one of my "friends" in high school, but I blew it and she started dating another guy.I tried to brush it off but it hurt too much and just cut contact.The only way you can stay friends is distance yourself from your feelings.You can't think of her in the romantic way anymore if you want to stay friends, you just can't it will hurt too much.Maybe distance yourself from her and try to find someone else or just purge yourself of romance so you can't bet tempted into hope with her. the other option is cutting which might hurt more but it would be for the best if you feel like you can't handle a platonic relationship.
I guess you can say I have a waifu. But I don't think of it as the classic literal animu wife way, i think of it as the idealized version of a gf like you.Waifu is a tricky thing, the more you believe in it, the more you get that feeling. When the world rejects you and have never felt love, a waifu isn't so bad.Don't feel bad about it, I do, but besides the point, just be careful anon.
I was absolutely in love with a girlfriend and when I lost her in a car accident I think I transferred a lot of emotions onto fictional characters. My mind was really, really messed up for a while. To this day I'll still defend their 'honor' or whatever in all seriousness, if someone tries to tell me why they're bad characters.
But for some reason a waifu pillow would feel weird. I'll admit that as a grown man I still fall asleep holding stuffed animals sometimes, but for some reason a full-on waifu pillow would feel weird.
Maybe I'm not completely beyond salvation yet.
What'll you have anon? Do you wanna talk about anything?
Here you go anon, thanks for the tune.
Do you take little steps at a time anon? Improving yourself is a tough thing to do, I know what it's like since my surroundings are trash and the people in my family aren't exactly the best. But I still want to pull myself out of this life and into something better.
I'd rather not because it's a popular series and I feel like a pleb.
>Waifu is a tricky thing, the more you believe in it, the more you get that feeling
The other problem is if you start projecting your idealizations onto the character over their existing traits or just taking their traits to the extreme. So now you have a double whammy of an impossible character that has been warped further to be what you desire.
>I'll still defend their 'honor'
Shit, I was doing this too. But, I think the waifu pillow is a very very long ways away. I'd need to be a wizard living alone and wanting comfort from a dead end job to go there.
I wish there was a real life bar with bartender who understands me
It feels like most bars in my area are just places for people to go get drunk while dubstep blares and people dance and everything is deafening and there are too many people
No worries anon, we're all here to drink away our day. I won't make fun of you, even if it's SOA or that Titan show.
Try it anon, cleaning gives you a feeling of control on your life and it does help to see things nice and clean to remind you that there's something nice behind dirt and trash.
I'd like that too. I think that a nice little pub would be the best. None of that hook up culture. Just people being sad/understanding together.
>you start projecting your idealizations onto the character
Yeah I have noticed that.It becomes more and more a symbol of what you desire.Its like creating your idea of perfection. It can be damaging and warp your sense or reality and hurt any chance of relationships, but I try to think of it as a reference rather than a requirement. nobody will ever be your ideal, or its unlikely so try to find those traits you desire rather than hope for all it in one person you know try to find people similar to your waifu, not actual waifus or else you won't ever be satisfied.I feel like I have fed to much into my delusions already though.
Depends where you live of course, but some places you can find bars like that. Might have to ask around, but there are definitely a fair amount of people who feel the same way you do.
idk, I'm not a shy person. I don't even know the girl. I think I feel bad cause she hangs out with the weird kids at the cafeteria. I don't mind them one at a time. but they're insufferable in groups.
Madoka has some cuties.
Which one is it? Come on, don't be shy. I won't say you have bad taste either since I think they're all cute.
Hue, Yeah that happens a lot. You'd probably get them all steamed up if you took her away from them. Just try it anyway anon. Just make sure that you keep your weird kids opinion to yourself though.
This sounds like me anon no joke. Except I can't even bring myself to therapy. Sometimes I'm suicidal but knowing I will die soon anyway keeps me going, though I truly have no purpose.
Not taking her away from them. I just don't interact with them unless they initiate and I don't join their activities when invited. But I'll take your advice barkeep. Another vodka if you can.
Of course, enjoy it anon. You'll probably make them feel a little uneasy if you hang around them though, and it'll be a bit tough to get to know her with them third/fourth/fifth wheeling around. But you seem to know what you're doing, good luck!
>just want a cute lil gf to cuddle with
>all women hate me and think im a creep
Get me a liter of the darkest beer you have on tap.
Sayaka. I liked her tomboyish and goofy attitude, while still caring about friends and having noble intentions. Maybe I was just sympathetic to her getting her beliefs crushed one after the other and not getting the cliche 'goes evil but is snapped out of it by friends' ending.
That wasn't so hard was it anon? Enjoy your hard-earned beer.
Sayaka is really cute. I haven't watched Madoka yet since i don't really have the guts to see good people get sad. I like Kyoko myself, Madoka is cute as well. You have good taste.
I got to watch someone I care about cut contact with all of his friends yet stay with someone that abuses him. Yet I can't be surprised when it was expected, and I can't be surprised because clearly that person makes him happy, that's why he went back to doing everything with them.
So, let me just have a drink of your choosing, barkeep. Something strong to match the mixture of sadness, understanding and frustration. This will be the final day I let my mind focus on him, so let's mark it with something.
I cared about that guy, more than I wanted to. In the end, he could only trust the person he was hurt by, and in the end he chose that person over not just me, but all of his friends despite also claiming not to have friends. The end result, was him turning his back on everyone apart from that one person. It hurts, yet it pisses me off, and yet even still I fully expected this outcome to eventually come about.
Before this ending, I decided I wasn't going to entertain the idea of being with someone because it just isn't worth it and there would always be someone better for anyone than I could ever be. In the end, I'm inferior in this scenario, too. Yes, he chose someone else, cut ties to several people and closed the chapter himself.
So, please, a drink to end the tale on. A drink strong enough that it'd numb all other distractions.
Damn Anon, I'm sorry to hear all of that. It sounds like your friend could be in abuse relationship. I have no idea of the pain you're going through but I am again sorry to hear about this happening.
I hope that your friend is able to one day see what he's done and that you will have the ability to forgive him should he seek forgiveness.
Take whatever you wish Anon. I hope that you don't make any rash decisions yourself.
I don't believe he will. I don't believe he'll ever revert this or even want to. The ending truly is him picking this person over numerous friends.
I wouldn't self-harm over this, but I am going to keep to my word of not entertaining the idea of being with anyone else. I'm gonna numb myself to this experience and never let it even have a chance to repeat again. This isn't even a learning experience. I can't claim to have learned a single thing that I didn't already learn.
I truly believe it to be a mere matter of time before I hear some gossip fly about that he and this person are even happier together. Let us just hope that by the time that does start up, I'm completely numb and focused only on self improvement. I refuse to ever let this get a chance to happen to me again.
Focus on yourself anon, improve yourself. It helps to develop yourself as a person whenever these sorts of things happen. By bettering yourself you will open more pathways and ways to find happiness.
The Bar is always open to you and others who need it. Here's another drink, on the house.
I do not know what to do anymore barkeep.
Failing uni right now and deeply regret not getting an apprenticeship and getting out of my toxic home. If I should drop out, I am finished. My parents already hate my guts, my dad pretty much disowned me because apparently I am not a human being worth talking to without a girlfriend and friends, although he is literally a sociopath. My mom is basically the same, but struggles with her own stuff. Man I already spent all of my youth in school with everyone telling me I am no good and will never amount to anything, I guess I believed them because at home people did the same thing. I need to get away from all this misery, but how do you do that when you have nothing? What the hell was I even thinking, expecting everything to turn out okay when I took such a leap of faith with my human trash parents. Give me something hard and heavy to drown out those feelings.
Can you get some tutors? Maybe find a guidance counselor. What are you trying to do in Uni Anon?
The way I get away from these sorts of feelings, the despair and feelings of worthlessness and as if I'm stuck is doing this: take things into perspective and break it into little chunks. Your parents sound bad, and your situation is worse as well. There is always light, that desire to rise from where you are right now is something you should embrace and hold on to. You want to better yourself don't you? You want to escape the litany of your life and toxic environment that the people within provide right?
You're already doing that by going to Uni. For now, focus on getting yourself unstuck from the mud. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. If you truly want things to get better then you won't give up.
It's a harsh road my friend, self-improvement might seem like it's easy but you have to confront many demons and fight tooth and nail to get over those walls.
For now though, enjoy a nice cocktail and mellow out. If you're so strung up all the time things will worsen. Take it easy and one step at a time Anon.
Thank you, barkeep. Yes, I'll better myself and sink time into things for myself. It took a lot of years, but I think I've reached the point where I shall take a leaf out of my father's book and pay good attention to what he told me the last time we spoke 12 years ago.
I don't particularly know what happiness I'd pursue in the future, or what would grant it. I can only be sure that my happiness is not meant to come from having someone at my side.
Thanks, just hearing that someone can make something out of my situation makes it easier. I just honestly lost any trust in myself along the way, thinking that for obvious reasons when my parents are no good, I am already a failure from the beginning. I probably let things get to me too easily.
There is no way besides ironmaning it, is there? Thanks for the company, let's see if I manage to go another month without hanging myself to report back.
Take it one step at a time Anon, otherwise you will overwhelm yourself. Baby steps or big leaps, it doesn't matter so long as you push yourself forward.
With that however, I'm getting sleepy. I'm closing up shop boys. You're welcome to get one last drink for the way home. Thanks for being such good patrons.
Can you get me a jack daniel and coke on ice please?
people keep harassing me man, i just want to be left the fuck alone. Its the same routine each time too, they feel like they can tell me how to love my life whilst simultaneously trying to extort money or attention from me, especially women, jesus christ, i fucking get it, im a fucking loser with no money, now go over there and suck some guys dick, just please exclude me and let me live in peace. Im tired man i want to die alone and be forgotten at this point.
I just completely blew off a paper for a class I'm already failing. It's eight pages and we've had weeks to do it but I just did it in the last 5 hours. Class starts in another 5 hours and I have to hand it in. So I'm done now. I wrote it and it's an incomprehensible mess. I think I actually changed the topic in my head halfway through so probably the first half of the paper has very little relation to the second half. It's honest to God probably one of the worst things I've ever written.
Anyway, the midterm for this class was 25% of the grade and I just barely passed, by like five percent. I told myself I would work hard and bring my grade up with the other assignments but here I am, fucking around and leaving shit until the last minute as always. I hate myself.
26 year old talentless virgin in a dead end job.
Was one of those idiots who thought going to a good Law School would lead to a good life.
Threw my youth away behind books only to now punch numbers into a computer all day for minimum wage.
Normally I wouldn't care having such a simplistic life, but my friends and family were depending on me and I failed miserably.
Yep. It's not all that uncommon actually. I remember reading about some dad suing his law school because he's been unemployed for a decade since graduating.
But hey at least I've got a job.
are you in the US? I graduated from a low tier lawschool and passed the bar. I make $175/hr at the lowest. Couldnt find a job either so made a webpage/yelp/avvo etc and started advertising. Dont have a lot of clients but you only need a few. Shit even like 1-2 good personal injury cases that you could settle in a few months could pay you for the year.
I'm a happy drunk so I haven't gone out with my friend without having had a shot or so of something for a while now. People like me and I'm more fun and invited to more gatherings. I only have one real friend, he just brings me along to gatherings when I happen to be there when he's invited to one.
Why. Am I so disgusting to others? What makes people not like me? I try to be friendly and outgoing even when I'm not tipsy and I'm not gross looking and I don't smell bad. I just want more than one real friend I can hang out with outside of game nights so bad. I chat with people in school, they always seem at least a bit pleased to see me walk into class, and we chat. Sometimes we even exchange contact info but they never want to hang out. I invite them to my D&D group if they seem like they'd be interested in that but it doesn't work. I've tried four school clubs and none of them worked. One even ignored me until I stopped trying after three visits. Now I always bring vodka apple juice to school just in case I need help.
I wish I could stop getting my hopes so high for making friends. It's always the same result and it stings. I'm so stupid, Bartender-san. I'm so fucking stupid.
Okay, I'm in law school and I want to suggest that if you can't find a job, you did something wrong. Law school alone will not find you a job, this is true. You're supposed to find supplementary work and improve your CV while you're in law school. If you didn't find an internship or a job working with a law firm or a clinic while you were in law school, and you never got into a scholars' program or a fellowship, then it's completely your fault that you are unemployed.
And if you tell me that you actually worked while you were in law school or did something else worthy of mention besides just going to class, then I'll suck my own dick.
It is very different for lawyers in other countries, even England. The amount of litigation the US has is like double the rest of the world combined. Far more work for attorneys in the states. Thats why the best option if you cant find a job here is to self employ and just look for clients. You only need a few clients to make enough to get by. I dont make a ton of money being self employed but it looks great on a resume and occasionally if you do get a good client you actually make good money. Its just unpredictable so unless you want to pour your life into making your own firm its better to use it to fluff your resume then find a firm to join.
How good, now you have to suck your own dick. I did in fact work at a clinic for a year while in law school and got great references. Anyway like I said, not in the US so we can't compare.
Don't get me wrong I'm still trying to break into the industry, my current job just pays the bills.
Probably true. I'm in law school in the U.S. and I'm also going into public interest law, a pretty under-employed sector because people don't like the low pay it gets. I'm not in law for the pay, though, I'm in it because I like law and it's what I want to do with my life. So it's not too hard to find work once you can tell firms that you're a 2L or whatever.
As long as you dont take out private student loans, you dont need to make a lot of money as an attorney to pay off student debt. Gov/FAFSA loans are just 10% or 0% if you're under $40k a year