http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-ways- you-can-accidentally-bec

>>26202945
Did they hire a robot to write that in a normie page like cracked? it feels pretty out of place considering their usual shitty top 10.

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>not sure if attention span is getting worse or if cracked.com is writing longer articles than they used to

that's pretty grim for clickbait article for normies

>>26202945

Just finished reading the whole thing. This article can certainly help robots who think that everyone else has it better than them.

It makes you realize that pretty much everyone has fear and insecurities, but when they don't show it it's because of how well they've learned to bullshit themselves and the system.

If you're in the so called "shit pit" and want to find out how to get out, this article can help you.

>>26202945
I usually like David Wong and this sortaselfhelp articles he does, but this one was just whiny as shit, was hard to slog through the end. Allround cringe, but hey, maybe that clicks with the robots.

Not giving those fucks any ad views or hits. Someone screenshot the article

>>26202945
"I sometimes wonder if I could go back and watch it all from the outside, if I wouldn't find that my whole paranoia about my stupid haircut wasn't based on one single joke that one single kid made in the cafeteria, and if my self-loathing didn't just take off and run with it."

This shit hit home like a motherfucker...

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>>26204165

the article is long. this is less than 1/7th of it

cracked's quality has been steadily going down hill for years now, and writer of the article has a reputation for being condescending in his writing, but this article did have some decent perspective

>Autist whines about his shitty life

who cares

>>26204945

>says the /r9k/ user

what's the point of even coming here if you dont enjoy reading autists whine about their shitty lives

>>26204920

Didn't this guy write a controversial article about how everyone who wasn't successful like him is that way becuse of their own fault?

>>26204986
I'm here to support our Fembot Goddesses

>>26205011
we already have enough beta orbiters here

>>26205041
it was a joke you fuckin' freak, jeesh

>>26204991

no. the article youre referring to is about how your value to society is based only in what you can provide to it, not in who you are, explaining why people who not being to get a job with their liberal arts degree or who feel entitled to happiness and sex for being nice are wrong

Yeah that article pretty much hits the nail on the head, especially the last part about fake it til you make it

>cracked

fuck off, normie

it's written by david wong, that's why it's good

i haven't read many of his articles, but john dies at the end was a pretty spaced out book

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>>26205245

>piece of entertainment or media
>fuck off normie

i like how you arbitrarily label who like things you dont like with meaningless buzzwords to feel superior

>>26202945
I found most of it agreeable except for when he says that life is different after high school. People are still liars and the game gets even more complicated. It's worse than high school, really, unless you're a NEET.

Dude only escaped the shit pit by becoming a shitter himself. He artificially inflated his status through lies, and kept up the act long enough for it to become self-sustaining.

>>26205211

He's also right about "alternatively, be nice to everyone." That's what I did, and I was surprised by the amount of success I've had.

That being said, it should be added that in order for the "being nice" angle to work, you can't also be a pushover or beta-orbit any girl who gives you the least bit of attention.

He's certainly got some good points. Not perfect, but he's been there.

>>26205342
>He's also right about "alternatively, be nice to everyone." That's what I did, and I was surprised by the amount of success I've had.

but i do that and i'm still alone with no friends

>you can't also be a pushover

oh, right

Anyone else here miss old Cracked?

>>26205342
>normie says be nice
>i act nice
>NO, NOT THAT NICE, GOD WHAT A RETARD
Every fucking time.

Don't try to join the normie, robots. He may explain the "rules" of his game but there are so many hidden rules built on hidden rules that the only real rule is "be a normie since birth".

>>26202945
>Number 2
This is something I just can't understand. I've been isolated for much of my teens but I never got angry about it. I see robots get all pissy over not fitting in and not having access to things others do and there's a complete disconnect. Why do you even care?

>>26205484
It's not someone else's fault that you take everything literally and are too stupid / autistic to read between the lines.

>cracked

Even worse than Salon

>>26204004
I wouldnt think so. I'd assume most robots have just accepted it because normies are all fucking shallow

>>26205501
>Why do you even care?
Because I crave validation from my peers and I want to fuck?

>It's not someone else's fault that you take everything literally and are too stupid / autistic to read between the lines.
lmao this fucking normo
>I want to help you!
>Oh, you don't have an exact copy of my brain?
>Nevermind, fuck you then!

>>26204004
it makes me remember the reason why I hate normal-fags in the first place, superficial self important cunts.
/fa/, /soc/ and half of /fit/ in a nutshell

>>26205501
>It's not someone else's fault that you take everything literally and are too stupid / autistic to read between the lines.

>Offers vague/misleading advice

>Wonders why people behaved shitty from their advice

It's okay if you have shitty advice, but at least own up to it

>>26205605
Desiring validation doesn't mean you need to react to not receiving it like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

>I want to fuck
Masturbate. You were born with the ability to give yourself sexual release, use it.

>>26205634
Is moderation a foreign concept to you?

>>26205648
>Masturbate
stop being obtuse, you know perfectly well what he means.

>>26205397
I disagree with his "le normies r scared 2 :( " horseshit.

Animals don't experience fear unless they're about to die. How can the normie animals feel fear?

>>26205648
>No, Anon. I gave you shitty advice...IN MODERATION! So really, you should thank me that you failed

>>26202945
>failed normie imitates chad and "succeeds"
>most likely getting approached by women for his beta bucks

No thanks. Just ignore and abuse the social structure. Fuck everything up.

See that pretty girl over there? Insult her. See a man in a suit? Ask him where the nearest strip club is. Your friend says something that you don't like? Never talk to them again. Your boss insults you? Walk out of the door and never come back.

Take the battery out of your phone, sell your car, cancel your internet subscription. Stop playing the game.

>>26205673
The language he used implies he just wants to have sex for the sake of it. He didn't say he wants an emotionally fulfilling relationship with a woman, he just wants to get off.

>>26205712
It's entirely your fault if you're unable to understand something as simple as being nice, polite and courteous to those you interact with IRL without being a spineless doormat.

>>26205648
>Desiring validation doesn't mean you need to react to not receiving it like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Who cares if I need to, it's what I feel like doing. How do you decide what I need to do, anyways? How does that work? I think you *need* to squeeze your own nuts as hard as you can. Haha you didn't do it? What a loser.

>>26205766
Oh sure, you can act however you please. That doesn't mean that your actions don't have consequences, like everyone around you being repulsed by someone with poisonous attitudes, opinions, and behaviours.

>>26205840
> poisonous attitudes, opinions, and behaviours
oooooh spooooky
you'd better get out of here before i ~poison~ you, then!!

>>26205683
>animals don't experience fear unless they're about to die
kek
>fear exists as binary state of consciousness

>>26205900
Anon pls. You're just being silly now.

>>26205945
Oh I'm silly, now! First I was poisonous, now I'm silly! Look at this fucking normie! He can't make up his mind!

>>26205975
Stfu, you condescending shithead. You honest to God sound like the retard playground bully who dies years later of heroin abuse.

>>26205755
>It's entirely your fault if you're unable to understand something as simple as being nice, polite and courteous to those you interact with IRL without being a spineless doormat.

But there's a really thin line between being nice and being a pushover. If I were to only be nice to people only I thought was worth it, I wouldn't be considered a "nice person" because you're supposed to be nice to everyone. But the truth is, not many people really deserves to be treated nice. There are people who want to mooch off of other people and take their kindness for granted. If I said no to them, I wouldn't be that "nice person" . People only see a person as nice if they do something for them. How is can you NOT be a pushover?

>>26206110
NORMIE GETTING TOASTY
SEND ME PICTURES OF YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA

>>26205284
Woah dude. It's like the article said

First decent article from Cracked I've seen in a while, but I don't keep up with it.

He's pretty much on point with everything, but I'm not sure about his final perspective feeling a lot like he's saying "I know these liars and phonies are irritating and the system is fucked, but just go along with it and you'll be okay"

I mean, yeah that's how it works if you want to be socially accepted but a betrayal of your own morals and ideals for the sake of a higher spot in the social hierarchy doesn't seem like a good thing necessarily. I guess it comes down to deciding what you truly want at the end of the day. One of the comments on the article summed it up a bit better and more concisely than the article itself did, the guy basically saying that it's a luck of the draw sort of thing when it comes to social status and you have to ultimately go with what makes you the happiest.

>It turns out that the first requirement for making a friend is to already have a lot of friends. The whole thing is a Catch-22. The key to being "cool," they say, is to be loose and fun and willing to "put yourself out there" -- to always be trying new things and to be willing to risk looking silly. Let your guard down! Open yourself up! These are the guys who are willing to actually dance at the dance, to try new fashions knowing they might not catch on, and to approach girls while knowing they might get shot down.
>But, the reason that kind of risk-taking is attractive is because a willingness to look silly indicates that they have enough social capital to do it -- they can risk looking uncool specifically because they know their coolness isn't in question.
Nail on the head here. Everytime someone says "just stop caring what people think, man" I want to slap the shit out of them. You can only afford to stop caring what people think if people already like you enough to not care if you embarrass yourself. Otherwise you end up being a loser with no friends or a detached asshole with no friends.

But his advice at the end is really good. I'm glad he ended it on an uplifting note without getting too unrealistic. I wasn't particularly popular in high school and thought I would maybe make two friends in college and even though I don't have too many friends, getting a reset to zero social capital was helpful in meeting people. There were no expectations, and pretty much as long as I was nice to people and made an effort to spend time with them, people invited me to do things.

>>26203074
lol this is exactly how I felt.

>>26202945
No normie will agree to any of this.

>>26206209
FUCK OFF WITH THE NORMIE BORE-ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I WILL RAIN BLOOD AND SULFUR ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SOUL

It's a good article. I honestly don't know what normies would think about it, but a lot of it could have been written by myself. The way I got out wasn't the same as him but as he says there are many ways out. I didn't compromise my "outsider" personality or become a liar for one thing. I just practiced hard and became good at something I loved and the rest followed from that. I'm now surrounded by people who are like me and don't judge me for being "weird". I'm respected and I provide people value. High school is not the whole world.

>>26205523

>shallow

elaborate on why normies are shallow

>the way I sometimes imagine myself having to break up a naked catfight between Karen Gillan and Isla Fisher in Idris Elba's hot tub.
What did he mean by this?

>>26204004
ya but how he accomplished being a normie is just moving to a different school
all that embarrassing spagehtti dropping shit he did in middle school got reset
as a result people would interact with him because they wouldn't get flack from the societal ladder for interacting with a robot

>>26206676

This is what pisses me off about r9k AND myself.
>betrayal of your own morals and ideals

NO, fuck that. What morals? What ideals? masturbating to anime? Why do I feel guilty for trying to become a normie? Because I am abandoning the little special morals and ideals of a robot?

I'd rather be a shallow normie than a fat robot sitting in a fucking chair in front of a computer jerking off to anime.

Fuck robot morals and ideals. By the way, the path to normificiation doesn't always require you to give up your "ideals and morals".

>>26208074
I don't think you get it. I mean sure, robots do rather fap to anime, be NEETs, and eat tendies and etc, but that's their environment to enjoy themselves. It isn't considered "normal", but people look at robots as if they aren't normal. Normal people want to hang around normal people. That's why outcasts like nerds, geeks, awkward, mentally ill, ugly people are usually ignored in their lives. People will give them advice like "you have to change yourself" just for the validation everyone else has. But the question is why should he change who he is just for someone to know he exist and want his attention? Sure, have decent clothes, have proper hygiene, but that's only for people to not get scared off by you, not be comfortable to socialize with you. Robots don't have that personality normalfags like

>>26202945
This is pretty true
Most robots can relate

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>>26202945
> guys i used to be a loser but now im a rich author!
boastful, bragging "underdog story" written by a self-confessed (and obsessed) cyborg, dressed up as something else more meaningful and honest.

faggot author, wish i didn't read

>Cracked
No.

I was expecting redpill but got whining about high school for fuck's sake. Am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about high school anymore? Your life must be shit if you care so much. I think his being American intensifies his high school feels but I am not sympathetic.

>>26209262
normies like to complain about highschool and pretend they had it tough. funny how these people don't complain about their current lives, just highschool, like "haha so silly, im glad thats all in the past and life is so good now!" fuck them all

>>26205840
>implying that people act the same way they do on 4chan outside of 4chan

>>26208353
This. I just want people to talk to about anime and shit. I'm not jealous of normies for being able to befriend other normies, I'm jealous that they're able to find people simmilar to them in the first place.

What a waste of time

>>26209341
honestly sounds like you never got over high school, while everyone else did
you're like the opposite of the chad jock who's best years were in high school

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

>>26209341
I don't know what you're talking about, normies think high school was the second best part of their life, after college.